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 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 26
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Emotional menPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

if you werent heartbroken when IT was over.. you were NOT in love with anyone!

+1

I don't think comparing a break up with a death of a parent is relevant.

It's not. IMO

He suggested something like "you know like you just better off with out her or she dont know what she miss out". I don't see the point of doing that.

I agree.

Not falling in love easily is a good thing because your heart wouldn't be broken so easily.

That is true.
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 27
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:20:59 AM
Emotions are not worth it.
 Petraeus
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 28
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:47:17 AM
i cry at the end of every relationship
 Green_MK2
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 29
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:36:53 AM
It is a grieving process, surely not as deep as losing a family member, but grieving nonetheless. People cope with it the way they know how; posting victimized statuses of FB is one way to do it ( Lame I agree.), and the patronizing replies he get might be a balm that soothes his inner wounds maybe.

This also has a lot to do with physical effects, hormones, brain chemistry.
Last time I was dumped ( For lack of a better word.) the actual sadness lasted, meh, a couple days, but then trying to get my shit together took a couple weeks, because it triggered a chain of physical effects akin to depression. Such things you have a lot less control over even if you recognize it.

Looking back, being someone who loves too much too early, thus exposing myself to being hurt ( I'm not gonna cry about it.) I would not trade it for the kind of coldness some people seem to experience in modern relationship. From my point of view, it hightens everything; the chasing, the sex, the connections. And our ability to love and experience joy or sorrow, being hurt then starting again, is what makes life worth living.
 gogogo66
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 30
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:46:51 AM
best to let it out,than let it build up inside.
 greatblah
Joined: 11/14/2012
Msg: 31
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:07:19 AM
Roadrunner! That was an awesome post.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 32
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:16:15 AM

Not falling in love easily is a good thing because your heart wouldn't be broken so easily
....bla bla bla....buy a dog.
 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 33
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:16:12 AM
Maybe your ex just SEEMS to be "emotionally damaged" from your stand point... He might just want his girlfriend back. That's why he posted on Facebook. Give it two months they will either get back together or he will be dating someone new. Why worry about him? His feelings seem to be normal.

Personally, I'm not sure how anyone could spend a lot of time with someone and not eventually become emotionally invested. Seems to be normal and healthy to form attachments and to build partnerships. Sure happiness comes from within... but happiness and feelings of love are increased when you have someone to share your life with. The price of opening up your heart is that you are vulnerable to being hurt by someone if the feelings aren't mutual. I think it's worth the risk.

Honestly, people weren't designed to spend their lives alone. It feels safe for you right now. However, when you finally meet someone who can open your heart, you will wonder why you spent so much time with a hard heart.
 TeaInTheSaharaWithYou
Joined: 2/27/2013
Msg: 34
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:48:09 AM
I feel sorry for you that you have never experienced love to the degree where you were heartbroken when it ended. Good for him for expressing himself. NOT a turn-off unless you have mental issues.
 gogogo66
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 35
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 10:52:35 AM
brinalina is so worldly though at at young age.like she even dates,too busy online i'd say...lol....if she does ,omg shes lived far more than us all.....oh well..let it be(beatles)
 brinaalina
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 36
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:34:08 AM
gogal66, not many dates from this site specifically, but I did go on my first date in several(-_-) months the other night from someone I met in one of my classes.
It's much harder to be social with a full class schedule and work too lol. Oh well.
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 37
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 11:36:55 AM
OP, when you get your heart ripped out by someone, then you will understand what it feels like and why people act the way they do. No one is immune from a broken heart, you can hide it with whatever you want to call it, it still hurts.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 38
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 12:09:36 PM
Between your opening post, and your adjustment/correction at post 25, I'm not really certain what you are trying to talk about or say, OP.

From the opening post, I would have said that you are someone who views men as tools or mechanisms, which you purchase in one way or another when you want something, and then discard when they have outlived your interest. Very cold hearted indeed, and inaccurate in what your complaint claimed to be about. That is, you want men to comport themselves in accordance with your convenience, and just as you said there that you do, refuse to open up to anyone emotionally.

In your post at 25, it reads more that you just don't like people who use Facebook as a way to chatter incessantly about themselves, as though they are a soap opera unto themselves. I can certainly support you in that last, as long as you agree that anyone who does that, male and female alike, are equally annoying. But if that IS what you really meant to fuss about all along, then your thread title and your opening post should be acknowledged as misleading.

In general, I can say from a great deal of observation and participation, that people who risk nothing, be it money, emotion, or time from their lives, will indeed suffer no heartbreaks. And as long as that satisfies you, then by all means, maintain your life apart from everyone other than your family. All you have to do, is to accept in balance, that no risk on your part, also means you cannot participate in what can be gained by risking yourself.

And for certain, there in no logic or honor in declaring that anyone who makes choices different from yours are necessarily defective. It is only true that they are not you.
 blueverything
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 39
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 12:25:47 PM
I feel sorry for you that you have never experienced love to the degree where you were heartbroken when it ended. Good for him for expressing himself. NOT a turn-off unless you have mental issues.


Hahaha you don't have to feel sorry for me because I don't feel sorry for myself at all. I am happy! There are a lot of things you can do to make you happy such as give a homeless some bucks so he can buy some food, explaine things to a classmate to help her understand the material, go to the beach or movie, travele, working,etc... People,who need others to feel happy tend to be clingy and needy ones. They are also ones, who have too much time in their hands.
 offroader831
Joined: 2/15/2013
Msg: 40
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 12:26:30 PM
You want a man with no emotions? Date a corpse.
 Asarat11
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 41
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 12:26:43 PM
I actually understand the OP's point. I love my family and friends, and my love for my son is overwhelming. I have cared about men, had an emotional attachment, but haven't experienced "love". I actually consider romantic "love" to be a dependency thing, beyond the lust, butterflies, etc, when the relationship becomes comfortable, that dependency develops, and most folks just refer to it as love.

Many posts in these forums are about the ending of marriage due to complacency, lack of sex, etc., and a strong majority have expressed that they would not marry again. So, I find it interesting that so many here are now espousing the benefits of love and insulting the OP for being honest. When, in reality, not falling easily into love can easily mean that a person is healthy with their independence and isn't looking for just any partner to fall into "love" with or into dependency with.
 Petraeus
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 42
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 12:39:11 PM
OP hasn't found her perfect man yet. It's sad, but I'm not judging.

I sincerely hope that she finds that special guy someday who will make her heart flutter when he comes close.

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 43
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 1:17:37 PM

Too emotional men are turn offs to me. How about you?


That statement alone is too broad for me to say yes or no. .. I think I get along better with people who are open, honest and can channel their emotions in a healthy way. Now if they allow their emotions to dictate every aspect of their life, become melodramatic and influence important decision-making (ie., to the point where they throw logic out the window) , I might be a little wary.

Different people handle disappointment differently.




Happiness comes from within. No?


Yes, at some point your ex will have to come to terms with this. .. or maybe never. Depending on how his approach is obviously.


 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 44
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:03:45 PM
I've known a few Asian women
who think of love and relationships as a mere arrangement.
No emotions required.
He earns.
She cooks.
Sex is a duty, not a big deal.

Maybe it is a cultural thing.
 blueverything
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 45
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:36:00 PM

've known a few Asian women
who think of love and relationships as a mere arrangement.
No emotions required.
He earns.
She cooks.
Sex is a duty, not a big deal.

Maybe it is a cultural thing.


That is prejudice! There are many types of Asians just like many types of Caucasians.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 46
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:50:36 PM
Sorry.

Yes. There are all types.

But you don't sound like you require an emotional relationship.
So what kind are you seeking?
non-emotional roommates?
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 47
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:01:56 PM

Of course, I was like...16 years old lol.

But yeah, ever since then, I've had that same mentality.

Yes, we can tell, and we wish you wouldn't share it so freely and often with us. LOL!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 48
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:30:41 PM
I'm in a somewhat different standpoint than you, OP - but I sort of understand.

First of all, I can't say men are cornering the market on being emotional - to me, emotional people period are where I focus. A lot more men than I'd expect have strong reactions though to breakups.

I don't get being heartbroken or devastated to the point of not being able to function either - as some things work out and some don't. To me this is part of life. I also agree that you have to be happy before anyone else enters the picture.

But in my case, it's not that I haven't been in love, or that I don't care - it's that to me the emotional aspect of it doesn't have much to do with what's happening. If someone isn't interested in staying, to be overly emotional is not to acknowledge that I don't want someone in my life who doesn't want to be there. It does no good to dwell on it and get overly upset - it's an adjustment to be without them, but it was also an adjustment to include them. I don't want a breakup to cause my life to be derailed...there's no need for that.

I also have dealt with things in my life at this point that I consider to be worse, and so by comparison - a breakup is unfortunate, but it's not as horrible as some other things you may have to deal with.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 49
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:31:30 PM
I agree you seem very cold blueeverything. Even in relationships where I haven't been in love with the man I've still mourned the relationship when it ended.
My experiences have been that men usually are more emotional than women when a relationship ends. I personally know of a few men who committed suicide yet I don't know one female who did this. Two of my ex's alone tried to commit suicide when our relationship ended.
I expect men as well as women to react emotionally to loss. Posting it on Facebook, not a big fan when anyone does this.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 50
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:59:25 PM
I personally can not imagine a 'relationship" without emotion. I love whole heartedly and mourn the loss when it ends, even when I ended it. I guess there are some people who can date and never quite connect to anyone. I personally would never give up the love to avoid the pain. Sometimes the relationship ends, and yes its painful, but in my opinion, worth the pain. I learned so much in every relationship I had.
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