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 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 44
Emotional menPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I've known a few Asian women
who think of love and relationships as a mere arrangement.
No emotions required.
He earns.
She cooks.
Sex is a duty, not a big deal.

Maybe it is a cultural thing.
 blueverything
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 45
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:36:00 PM

've known a few Asian women
who think of love and relationships as a mere arrangement.
No emotions required.
He earns.
She cooks.
Sex is a duty, not a big deal.

Maybe it is a cultural thing.


That is prejudice! There are many types of Asians just like many types of Caucasians.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 46
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 2:50:36 PM
Sorry.

Yes. There are all types.

But you don't sound like you require an emotional relationship.
So what kind are you seeking?
non-emotional roommates?
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 47
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:01:56 PM

Of course, I was like...16 years old lol.

But yeah, ever since then, I've had that same mentality.

Yes, we can tell, and we wish you wouldn't share it so freely and often with us. LOL!
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 48
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:30:41 PM
I'm in a somewhat different standpoint than you, OP - but I sort of understand.

First of all, I can't say men are cornering the market on being emotional - to me, emotional people period are where I focus. A lot more men than I'd expect have strong reactions though to breakups.

I don't get being heartbroken or devastated to the point of not being able to function either - as some things work out and some don't. To me this is part of life. I also agree that you have to be happy before anyone else enters the picture.

But in my case, it's not that I haven't been in love, or that I don't care - it's that to me the emotional aspect of it doesn't have much to do with what's happening. If someone isn't interested in staying, to be overly emotional is not to acknowledge that I don't want someone in my life who doesn't want to be there. It does no good to dwell on it and get overly upset - it's an adjustment to be without them, but it was also an adjustment to include them. I don't want a breakup to cause my life to be derailed...there's no need for that.

I also have dealt with things in my life at this point that I consider to be worse, and so by comparison - a breakup is unfortunate, but it's not as horrible as some other things you may have to deal with.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 49
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:31:30 PM
I agree you seem very cold blueeverything. Even in relationships where I haven't been in love with the man I've still mourned the relationship when it ended.
My experiences have been that men usually are more emotional than women when a relationship ends. I personally know of a few men who committed suicide yet I don't know one female who did this. Two of my ex's alone tried to commit suicide when our relationship ended.
I expect men as well as women to react emotionally to loss. Posting it on Facebook, not a big fan when anyone does this.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 50
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 3:59:25 PM
I personally can not imagine a 'relationship" without emotion. I love whole heartedly and mourn the loss when it ends, even when I ended it. I guess there are some people who can date and never quite connect to anyone. I personally would never give up the love to avoid the pain. Sometimes the relationship ends, and yes its painful, but in my opinion, worth the pain. I learned so much in every relationship I had.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 51
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 5:24:49 PM

I personally would never give up the love to avoid the pain. Sometimes the relationship ends, and yes its painful, but in my opinion, worth the pain.


You might be surprised at the level the pain can reach. Since the end of my marriage, I have been depressed, and finally applied and was approved for disability just over two years ago. But the fun doesn't stop there - oh no!. Now my body's immune system is attacking me (vasculitis), I have developed hypertension (high blood pressure), have heart arrhythmia (which despite medication, the doctor commented on my racing heartbeat just today; I didn't bother telling him how my chest has felt heavy while lying in bed the last two nights), and thyroid issues. A former insomniac, now I want to sleep all day and my physical strength has gone quickly down hill over the past two years. If I am still alive a year from now, I will be amazed. I only hope that I can finish my car so that my son can have it when I am gone.
 Green_MK2
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 52
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:08:07 PM
It's funny to hear OP scream PREJUDICE but the insight she provided kind of abound in that direction...
 TantricJedi
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 53
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:29:41 PM
I'll tell you what Ice Woman(blueverything)...men don't live as long as women for a very simple reason...it's in our DNA to 'suck it up' when we don't like work. There's no such thing as having a bad day at work. We're not allowed. You know why? We're too busy f*cking working hard to provide for people we care about. And you know what? It handicaps us emotionally. We don't like feelings. They get in the way. So, when a man gets emotional, take it as a cue that he cares about you. Get a clue. Yikes.

My second ex (Asian from Vietnam) caught me crying when my grandmother died. We were watching my son at his play in middle school. I couldn't help it. I started sobbing. She asked me "C'mon Steve, take it easy. I can't believe you are crying"

A man expressing his emotions? I guess she was 'tougher' then I was.

I guess I'm weak because I avoid Home Improvement because I cry at the end.

You need a guy made out of Ice.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 54
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:37:45 PM
Some men get pissed off because they put all this effort into loving someone that they wish they could have a future with. Yes it does hurt when things don't work out because some men CARE. Sometimes it's hard to pretend to stay friends with someone that you fell in love with.

For me personally I would move on and cut them out quickly.
 blueverything
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 55
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 7:48:02 PM
Alright, I am going to wrap this up. I don't know what some of you base on to come up with the idea that I am a cold person. I've never considered myself as a COLD HEARTED just because I don't fall in love with men easily, and haven't been in love. I am just being selective and taking time to find the right one. I would understand the pain if your long term relationship didn't work out. My ex's situation is he has seen this girl only 2 or 3 months, and they were having a distance relationship. How much memories could they create in 3 months to leave him a heart broken? If I fell in love with some man in 2-3 months, I would have had my heart broken so many times.

By the way, good luck with your love life guys! ^_^
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 56
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:02:32 PM
Well precise info is useful.
By the question you posted....
we thought he was crying over you.
And we had no idea that is was only a 3 month thing till
you just said so.

Better typed out questions = better answers
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 57
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:07:22 PM

I am just being selective and taking time to find the right one.
This is what I don't understand. How does someone get involved with a "too emotional" man in the first place when it annoys her? It isn't like he was hiding it. Sure, some people just can't hold anything in. Anything which comes into their field of vision they have to comment on and how they feel about it and on and on. And when they get on the subject of themselves and their feelings they just can't stop. It's all a bit much. But why go on dating someone who obviously isn't a match? Could there be something in that loveless brain which, maybe, uses people? Some sort of vicarious emotional symbiosis? Life is strange and complex. People are infinitely diverse. It's 'way past my bedtime.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 58
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:07:37 PM

My second ex (Asian from Vietnam) caught me crying when my grandmother died. We were watching my son at his play in middle school. I couldn't help it. I started sobbing. She asked me "C'mon Steve, take it easy. I can't believe you are crying"

A man expressing his emotions? I guess she was 'tougher' then I was.

Whoa...death is a TOTALLY different issue. Crying as a reaction to a death is a lot more serious than a breakup - especially one from an LDR that lasted 3 months tops. Your second ex was being unrealistic, and I don't blame you for being offended.

I guess I'm weak because I avoid Home Improvement because I cry at the end.

I have no idea what this means. The only Home Improvement I know is the sitcom, so ya lost me.
 blueverything
Joined: 1/27/2013
Msg: 59
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:16:54 PM
This is what I don't understand. How does someone get involved with a "too emotional" man in the first place when it annoys her?


How would know that he wore his heart on his sleeve if I didn't go out with him? You have to date someone first before you find out whether they are your type or not, right?
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 60
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 8:30:17 PM

How would know that he wore his heart on his sleeve if I didn't go out with him? You have to date someone first before you find out whether they are your type or not, right?
Yes, but he dumped you, right? On Facebook? Isn't that partly what you're unhappy about? (Is happiness an emotion?) If so that's not unusual. People find out they've been dumped when the boyfriend/girlfriend notices she/he is not "in a relationship with" him/her anymore on her/his Facebook profile. Welcome to cyberspace! You write that your guy did it in his status and that's the same thing. Very public. Not unlike discussing it in a PoF forum. Cyberspace again! :) Live and learn. Better luck next time. Good luck. :)
 spirited-won
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 61
Emotional men
Posted: 3/7/2013 9:10:16 PM
My boyfriend is emotional to a good degree...by that I mean the last bf was so emotionless it was hard to almost decipher what he was feeling during our time together. He shows me what I need to see and doesn't go overboard by any means but what he does show me makes me love him more each day.
 lovefun99
Joined: 6/14/2010
Msg: 62
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/8/2013 7:16:36 AM
and...... OP has fled the scene of the crime. The troll is gone....
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 63
Emotional men
Posted: 3/8/2013 8:24:43 AM

OP, that's highly unusual in Western culture to not have fallen in love at least once or twice by the time you're 29 (your age). You've heard the saying "love is blind"?

Is it really love though? Until I was almost 30, I didn't know what love was. I thought I was in love, turns out it was infatuation/a crush/some other silly thing. Just sayin'.
 0ldhag
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 64
Emotional men
Posted: 3/8/2013 8:48:46 AM
I don't get bothered by breakups either. I've realised long ago men don't take relationships serious, so I now tend to see relationships the same.

Probally why I've been single the last year and a half.

I actually do want to feel more, I just don't know how to.
 Green_MK2
Joined: 11/6/2011
Msg: 65
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:00:00 AM
Correction: The men that actually get your attention don't take relationship seriously.
Men who would, and are also up to date with their emotions, usually don't get any.
From my personal experience of course.
 ActualizedExplorer
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 66
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Emotional men
Posted: 3/8/2013 9:58:20 AM
Haha, I find it funny how several people read my post as directly comparing loss of a parent and loss of a relationship.

In fact, I was comparing how someone comments on someone else's loss in both situations.

Of course it's relevant. I am not saying anything about the loss. I am saying that it's kind of unfair for anyone to judge others based on their reaction to a situation, especially if those who are judging have not experienced it themselves.

Here it is again,

Your first post makes me think of people who haven't lost a parent, thinking that it is absurd that other people are sad that their parents have passed on. Everyone dies eventually, right? True, but that doesn't mean it is out of character to be sad in that situation.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 67
Emotional men
Posted: 3/8/2013 6:45:26 PM
There is a line 'n all.. but I kinda like emotional men. They tend to balance me a bit, because I can be somewhat distant and overly intellectual at times. Very few have seen me a blubbering, crying mess. I will never be the one at the end of a relationship, clinging or trying to save a sinking ship.. you want out? There's the door.

That's not to say I have no emotions or can't express them.. emotional men just tend to bring them it out in me best.

intellectual + intellectual = pretty flat and boring. Not a lot of passion.

There have been times in the past though, where it all got too much. I can recall one breakup where he was literally wailing, rocking back and forth on my couch and loudly yelling 'No!! I won't accept it!' over and over again.

It scared the crap out of me.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 68
Emotional men
Posted: 3/8/2013 7:07:20 PM
^^ I thought you already knew all my secrets? Lol..

No he didn't 'get his way'. He was diabetic, and I thought that he was having a low blood sugar attack or something! At that point, I just wanted him safely out of my house.
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