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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > You find out he lied about being married      Home login  
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 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 35
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You find out he lied about being marriedPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Leave it alone.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 36
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 3/12/2013 5:07:35 PM
Or wait until the wife's best friend calls you and asks you how you know the guy you have been talking to for a year and half.

This recently happened to me. Further proving I can't trust people.

I told her the truth. He told wife it was all a set up. This was not the first time he has cheated and lied. I would feel bad for her except she chooses to believe him no matter what the evidence. I now know he is a dog and won't ever talk to him again. I met him elsewhere but he had 2 profiles here.

You can't warn other women here or POF will ban you. Best thing to do is don't talk to him again. Block him and if anyone ever asks you tell the truth.

People lie and that is sad. Even sadder is some people believe them no matter what proof there is about them lying.
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 37
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 3/13/2013 12:05:37 AM

I wouldnt go around warning other women, but Id let it slip to wifey that he tried to get a date.

People get away with this crap because good people say/do nothing.

I warned every man I ever met from online with these words: 'If I find out after we meet in person that you have a wife or live in girlfriend, I will find them and tell them what you are up to'.

If a man was stupid enough to try me, he was all out asking for me to tell the wife, it was all on him.

Funny thing, every man who had a wife, caved and confessed right after my little warning.

I dont put up with bullshiat and I refuse to be pulled into someone's marital drama....if a man was dumb enough to even try pulling me into his marital drama, he was going to get a show he would never forget.


Like I said before, that's nothing more than creating unnecessary drama.

It sounds like you "crusader" types are only trying to go tit for tat because you need your dose of "revenge."

And some folks wonder why they are 393 yrs old and still single?

Folks who cheat in marriages are not in a HAPPY GO LUCKY situation and are totally UNSUSPECTING that their spouse is going behind their backs. From the perspective of someone who deals with these types of situations in one way or another on a consistent basis, it takes a LOT than a simple "I want to screw" to go and CHEAT in that way.

There are all sorts of variables that are there that YOU do not know about.

Frankly, it's not YOUR PLACE to deal with them.

My point is this: Ideally, it's nice to "play avenger" for someone who is being taken advantage of, in a bad situation, etc. However, it's not so cut and dry. One day you'll play superhero to the wrong couple and you don't want to be on the receiving end of anyone's anger. Most people DO NOT take it out out on their spouse. They usually go after the suspected lover.

It's really simple and safer to MOVE ON.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 38
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/16/2013 4:05:00 PM

But, my question is this: If you see someone on here that is telling everyone they are available and in reality aren't, do you warn other women? Tell his wife? Or just leave it alone?

Leave it alone.

Apart from looking him up on Facebook you know nothing about this virtual stranger and certainly less about his wife and family.

You have chosen the right course, move on and be glad you've avoided a bad situation.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 39
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/17/2013 8:03:22 AM
Best to let it go. If someone ever asks tell the true.

Revenge is not a game you should play. Disguising your intentions as helping the wife or warning others fools no one. Then you get a possible angry guy seeking revenge against you.

This recently happened to me. I received a call from the wife's best friend. She was actually very nice. He had done this numerous times to her. I told her the truth. The wife will probably continue to believe his 'everyone is conspiring against me' theories. I can't help her. she probably doesn't want the help.

The feeling you get from revenge is only temporary. You open yourself to battling with someone who is obviously flawed and could be dangerous because they lie and cheat. You also close yourself off from new possibilities. It happens to everyone no matter how well you check someone out they could be lying to you.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 40
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/17/2013 8:57:41 AM
^^^Totally agree with debydu z. I don't know who is more screwed up. A married guy who lies about his marital status and dating or an extremely vengeful woman when a date doesn't into a fairy tale "happily ever after" situation, but uses the excuse that it's their duty as a woman to stick their nose into people's personal life and save other women by helping to destroy their marriage. These women are strictly looking for revenge and nothing else, and are hoping the woman will leave the guy right away and take him to the cleaners in divorce court. It has nothing to do with "saving women". If these women were so concerned about saving other women, why aren't they living and working in third world countries where women are nothing more than a piece of property and have no rights, and try to save them?

I never hear of guys playing these stupid games of tattling on a woman who is married, but didn't know until after a coffee meet, and then have immediate thoughts of getting revenge by trying to destroy her marriage. Why is this a woman's specialty?
 SimpleCltMan
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 41
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/17/2013 10:31:07 AM

The CHEATER is the one destroying a marriage- not the people speaking out about it.


You never know what the reason is so it is best to leave it alone. You don't know the wife or husband that is being cheated on. You don't know who and want is going is going on. I was cheated on. I knew it all along, but didn't want to admit it to myself. I was told afterwards about from mutual friends that covered for her in fear of what she would do. I was upset, but I am glad I didn't know till after she was gone and could learn it on my own. You tell someone and you get....

1. Spouse who sees you as a person trying to break up a marriage
2. Bitter person trying to steal him/her away
3. Random stranger who just wants to start drama.
4. Jealous EX lover....

they all kind of sound the same huh? They ARE! They are the same. You come off as some tool trying to "help" when really it is to catch someone in their game. Take it from a person that was CHEATED ON, let us find out on our own. It helps us in healing knowing WE got them.
 jengerflower
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 42
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/17/2013 10:36:38 AM
When I posted this thread revenge really wasn't my agenda, as I'm not a vengeful person. I was irritated more than anything else.
I didn't end up contacting him or his wife or anything of that nature. I've seen that kind of thing backfiring, and I didn't want to be pulled into drama.
It occurred to me after that it's very possible his wife already knows that he's online looking, and maybe she is ok with it. Who knows. It's not my problem.
 ColeenAnn
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 43
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/17/2013 10:55:55 AM
There's nothing spiteful about letting his wife know. If I was his wife I'd absolutely want to know! If only to get tested, divorced, and move on with my life as quickly as possible.

 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 44
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/17/2013 11:13:32 AM
If you knew of a married woman who was having an affair, would you feel obligated to inform the husband of her affair?
What about the scenario where two people who are both married, but not to each other, were having an affair, which happens a lot in office romances among co-workers. Would you feel obligated to tell both his wife and her husband of the affair?
 SimpleCltMan
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 45
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/17/2013 12:46:55 PM

It would be the right thing to do.


Is it.???!?!?!? My friend Chad asked his GF to marry him. One day her BFF saw him out with a lovely Bi-racial girl. They were having lunch and apparently enjoying themselves. At the end he kissed the woman on the cheek and they left. The BFF took pictures and everything. The BFF sent the pictures to his Fiancee and things went down the tubes quickly with emails, fb posting, all her BFF girlfriends calling him a dog and horrible man. That was until the girl he was with..(HIS HALF SISTER from 1700 miles away) posted that it was her and he asked her to be in the wedding. The Fiancee has EVEN SEEN younger pictures of the girl before, but didn't care to ask. The BFF who had been cheated on before never took time to ask, just jumped to conclusions. Much to our amazement, he still married her in 2011. They expecting a baby.

You never know what the situation is. What you see is not always what it seems. Yeah the OP caught the guy. However, they could have had an open marriage, they may have kept the pictures up for the kids, or they could be married and she not know. You don't know. So jumping to conclusions could be jumping to the wrong conclusions.
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 46
You find out he lied about being married
Posted: 5/19/2013 2:00:46 PM

(Msg. #1) Tell his wife? Or just leave it alone?
I've chosen to leave it alone, I figure it'll catch up to him eventually. Just curious how others would handle it.


You could always do something like this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JMX8lnEjro
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