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 AUTHOR
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 26
Cell phone etiquettePage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

is there no cellphone etiquette on dates?

Is there just no accepting bad dates, or simple incompatibility, and moving on anymore?
I've read 2 forums now where people complain about their 2 dates and have the need to run to a bunch of people and whine about it.

Is there no whining etiquette anymore?
People used to just do it with friends or family.
Is it about keeping a false image with friends and family and using others as a vent so as not to appear to be a whiner?
Or do they whine so much their friends and family don't listen to them anymore?
Or are they just thin skinned super whiners with too high of expectations of others, that every situation they are in (like a date) should go perfectly or they are a victim, that whine to anyone and everyone that walks by or is involved in any activity they themselves are participating in at the time?
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 27
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:46:54 AM
I'm really glad this post came up.... I had a coffee date once where I had my cell out on the table.... during dinner, the woman grabed my cell phone and put her number in it... and somehow, she got my number..... I don't even remember how she got my number, sneaky little thing, lol - Why did she do this? - because she liked me a little too much.... which is just right. Anther side benefit to this, is that it's impossible to get rejected when asking for the number because I did not have to ask... do you smell what I'm cooking?! Anything you can do to minimize rejection while dating and make for a smoother sail is very smart.

Now that this post has brought this to my attention, I'm going to purposely leave my cell out on the table at every coffee date and first few dates.... I'm even going to put it right in the center of the table and make it as inviting and easy to pick up as I possible can... heck, I may even hand it to her when I go to the restroom and tell her to browse through the pics on the phone... I want her to see that there are no cuss words or porn on there, nothing crude or rude and that I am the perfect gentleman......... thanks again for the great idea.... some of you people here who are making a mountain out a molehill here obviously know very little about love and relationships...... if you some of you guys will go bonkers over a non-issue like this, I'd hate to see what you would do in a real relationship. Some of you need to get your thinking right and your attitudes up. Wake up and smell the coffee....... date.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 28
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:53:05 AM

A cellphone provides us (single parents) a tool for "just in case".

Oh BS

There are many places we go everyday where we are not allowed to have our phones "out" and in many cases, they must be turned off. Ever in a theater? On a plane? In courthouse? On a job? etc.? This idea that you can't live your life without your phone planted in front of you is total bs. People did exist and find a way to survive before they had cell phones surgically attached to themselves. You were wrong to have it out on the table.

Quite frankly, you and your second date were a match made in heaven and you shouldn't have let her go.
 GrayJake40
Joined: 2/20/2013
Msg: 29
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 9:56:29 AM
"+1 There is absolutely NO excuse for someone having their phone out on the table"--- Stubidoo

Okay. I think differently. I much rather my phone, their phone, Iphone, your phone, phones. were out and turned down instead of IN and all the sudden some crazy ringtone comes blasting out of nowhere and the owner has to fiddle for it and turn that noise off. Nothing like "Closer", by Nine Inch Nails, to blare out our intent to our dates! -And everyone else nearby.

Of course, that vibration mode, if I leave it in my pocket, is a nice tingly distraction while on a date....
Ohhhhhhh! I just caught on......

Nope. On the table, turned down. Thanks.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 30
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 10:01:33 AM
I disagree with the non parent saying there is no need for a phone. I keep mine on vibrate or silent because my kids do check in with me by text when they are going somewhere or need me for a reason. My son was actually in a car accident when I was on a date. He was nor hurt, but I did need to know this. I dont text or answer my phone throughout dates, in fact it rarely is needed, however anyone who has kids knows even when on vacation, the cell phone is a great way to stay in touch. There is a huge difference in emergency use and being rude. I did apologize to my date about answering the message, and he too was a parent and understood. When his sons wife went into labor, I did not get upset having to take out dinners to go when he got a message. i think you just have to be reasonable.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 31
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 10:08:26 AM

Nope. On the table, turned down. Thanks.


I do the same thing. I don't usually touch it. I don't like having it in my pocket either and a lot of times I have a dress on so... no pockets. I tend to carry very small purses and most of the time I only carry keys and phone into a place so my keys and phone are placed next to one another on the table.

I keep mine on vibrate. I have had some fairly telling ringtones in the past so I had rather not give too much away on the first meet. ;)
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 32
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 10:32:05 AM
I always keep my phone on the table in case I get an emergency call from one of my children. I cannot hear the phone if it is in my purse and as long as my date is not talking or texting I am cool with the phone being on the table.

She was way out of line for going through your phone. I would have ended it as soon as I found out. My work requires a password on my phone which is an added bonus for keeping busy bodies out of my information.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 33
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 10:36:33 AM
I always keep my phone on the table ... I would have ended it as soon as I found out

I would have ended it as soon as you put your phone on the table. What is going to happen when we are in bed having sex? Are you going to be holding your phone? Some of you people have some serious attachment issues with your phones and using your kids as an excuse for it is total bs.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 34
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 11:21:37 AM
Op:

Some of us single parents out here, quite understand the necessity of having a cell phone out on the table. For those whose ego can't withstand being the center of your universe every moment......well they just aren't worth dating! As far as the snooping through your phone......that is just a bizarre concept to me. I was married for many years. I never looked through his phone, email, wallet etc. And my husband never went through my purse, phone, email, etc. It is very indicative of trust issues. Suffice to say, if this behavior occurs on a first date......who knows what would occur in a relationship!

As far as constant texting while on date.....that is just rude and poor manners! I find it annoying when even a friend does this! But that is just me.......
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 35
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 11:49:05 AM

What is going to happen when we are in bed having sex? Are you going to be holding your phone?


Maybe that's the real reason for having the vibrate feature on the phone, since people can't let them leave their hands.
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 36
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:10:23 PM
If you need to be on call 24/7 and be completely attached to your cell phone for fear of your daughter getting sick or injured while you're out for an hour, you should put off dating until you are available to be with other people.

Concurred. My brother and I somehow miraculously survived our parents having the occasional evening out - before people had cell phones! Shocking, I know, but true. I'm pretty sure it can be done now, too.

However, both dates were also rude. It's just rude on top of rude, here. I think they were more wrong than he was, though no one here exactly has the high ground.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 37
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:19:20 PM

I would have ended it as soon as you put your phone on the table.


*shrug* Where else am I going to place it? As I have already stated I VERY rarely carry a purse into a venue and am often in a dress with no pockets. Cell + keys which I place together on the table. It isn't like I am placing a glock on the table. Gosh.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 38
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:34:23 PM
Great post by KJ - snooping does raise a flag - do they have trust issues?

I would still like more information about the person, and sometimes you can only get that by getting to know the person better. It could also be indicative of a person with poor breeding. But hey, trailer trash people need love too!
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 39
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 12:36:29 PM
OP, you're being passive aggressive. Giving people the silent treatment is immature. Be upfront, tell them it isn't cool to cross that boundary of snooping through your phone. That is very disrespectful and that it's over and you're done with her.

Here's a good site to work on your communication skills and move toward being more assertive.

http://serenityonlinetherapy.com/assertiveness.htm
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 40
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:11:51 PM

Where else am I going to place it? As I have already stated I VERY rarely carry a purse into a venue

Treat your phone the way you do your purse. A phone does NOT belong on the table. There is absolutely no reason to text or take calls during the meal anymore than you would if we were in a crowded dark movie theater after dinner. Anyone who feels the need to check a phone, make a call, or text should go old school and excuse themselves from the table to do so.

I may be a dying breed of those who insist on someone's attention at the table ... but so be it.
 lostinalostworld
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 41
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:11:54 PM
Did you leave your wallet out to? If an urgent call was expected, why not take the phone with you? Was it a new one you wanted to show off, lmao.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 42
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:23:33 PM

Treat your phone the way you do your purse.


Sorry, I'm not leaving it in the car to appease a stranger.


A phone does NOT belong on the table.


Experience has taught me that placing it on the seat next to me is not a good idea - especially if it is a small cafe type chair. My ample ass needs that space. ;)


There is absolutely no reason to text or take calls during the meal anymore than you would if we were in a crowded dark movie theater after dinner. Anyone who feels the need to check a phone, make a call, or text should go old school and excuse themselves from the table to do so.


Never said that I would do any of those things. I'm pretty sure I have been clear that I think being on the phone during a date is unbelievably rude. I just can't believe that an individual would be so rigid about where I choose to place my phone. If I am not using it during our date - guess what? - it does not matter what the physical location of my phone is.


Did you leave your wallet out to?


I am guessing that was for me. I keep my ID, one credit card and a small amount of cash in my cell case. That is all I should need. I am rather low maintenance in that area. I don't need a purse full of stuff or a wallet. *shrug*
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 43
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 1:57:34 PM

A phone does NOT belong on the table.

Of course it doesn't. None of one's personal belongings does!

If you wouldn't dump your junk on the table at Le Bernardin (and I am assuming, perhaps too charitably, that no one here would), you shouldn't be dumping it on the table anywhere.

Considering all the "identity theft" and whatnot, why leave your cell laying about unsupervised. Especially with all these "aps" and whatnot that might store your credit card for further shopping, etc.

That wouldn't have occurred to me - good point.
 pescando75
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 44
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 2:05:49 PM
I'm glad you mentioned going through someone's purse or wallet if they left it there.
Yeah, right, people would be just FINE with that. "Natural curiosity" my @ss.

Vibrate. In pocket. Don't take it out unless it vibrates. I wouldn't leave my wallet on a table. Considering all the "identity theft" and whatnot, why leave your cell laying about unsupervised. Especially with all these "aps" and whatnot that might store your credit card for further shopping, etc.

People are too trusting in general.
 lostinalostworld
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 45
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:37:43 PM
Msg 44- no, I was talking to the guy(s). But I know some women like a bit of lipstick to reapply after eating. Not sure where they put it without a small purse. Perhaps on the table to?
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 46
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:40:46 PM
Stipidooo............


I would have ended it as soon as you put your phone on the table. What is going to happen when we are in bed having sex? Are you going to be holding your phone? Some of you people have some serious attachment issues with your phones and using your kids as an excuse for it is total bs.


Geeze. There is a major difference in getting together for a meet and having sex.
I think you have major control issues.....
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:52:14 PM
The cellphone snooper is not a cellphone etiquette issue. It's a snooping etiquette issue. Good for you for bailing. By the way, why didn't you take your phone with you? Anyone passing by could have slickly palmed the phone, and then you'd be in a fix.

As for the complusive texter, I like the touch of buying the phone a drink. Subtle. But you wasted your money on both drinks. I would have been tempted to snatch the phone out of her hand and deposit it in the lobster tank on my way out the door. Or, in the absence of a lobster tank, chuck it across the parking lot, and see if it would skim and bounce like a flat rock on the surface of a lake.

I don't text, and as far as I'm concerned there's no reason to be texting on a date. And unless she's on call for work or has an elderly family member who has one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, the phone just needs to be turned off.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 48
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 3:57:32 PM

There is a major difference in getting together for a meet and having sex

In this case, there really isn't .. the phone shouldn't be a part of either one.

I think you have major control issues.....

Yeah right.. I guess in this day and age, expecting a woman to show some basic manners at that table is now "controlling". What do you call a person who can't let their phone out of their site for 10 minutes for "fear" there might be an unexpected emergency?
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:12:15 PM
Women, when they start developing a crush/start falling for a man, are natural top-rate investigators and want to find out everything to know about man. When seen in this light, for what it really was, it's pure inocence and actually a compliment - but only when you understand women and relationships.


A compliment my azz..! Any woman that pulled that crap on me ,.. would hear me say... check please ..!
and never , under any circumstance , get a second date.

But guys , did you learn nothing from Tiger Woods ??

My cell phone requires my fingerprint to access , its an app, that anyone with an I phone 5 can get.

My laptop also requires my fingerprint , but whats cool is, it can reconize all ten fingers and depending
which finger you use , it will sign you on , and take you to a specific site
As in, if I use my right hand middle finger , it signs me on and goes straight to my bank
left thumb goes to POF etc..

Never again will my privacy be violated ....protect yourself ..! it cost Tiger a Billion dollars !!
 Mikare
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 50
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/11/2013 4:20:27 PM
What do you have to hide???
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