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 AUTHOR
 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 126
Cell phone etiquettePage 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
As someone who lives outside of cell phone range and doesn't feel the need to own one for the times I am in range, objectively I can say the dam things suk the ambience out of life like little black holes erratically bouncing all over the earth crust. I also have a thriving business and somehow manage without one, mindboggling no?

Being "present" is not an easy task. It takes stregnth of character and compassion to look someone in the eye and "be" there, really listening and participating on a date. What I see is people using cell phones in social situations to "remove" themselves and hence not be fully "present". A cell phone plopped on the table by someone who is not emergency personel is like putting a wall between themselves and their date. It's like says hahaha I don't really need to give you my full attention because I am afraid of you, afraid of my own feelings and I don't feel secure and confident enough within myself to be fully present for you.

A population addicted to cell phones is a population with declining social skills.
 Ur_Not_All_That_Fatso
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 127
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/15/2013 4:20:48 PM
I think it has more to do with them being ignorant as hell rather than cell phone etiquette. At least you were able to see their character right off the bat and you could get out of there.
 beckaboo1970
Joined: 1/15/2013
Msg: 128
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/15/2013 4:55:10 PM
Yes, there is an expectation of etiquette with cell phones, and both of your dates where woefully lacking in that area.
Like you, I always carry my cellphone as I have a 19 year old as well as a 76 year old mother....hey emergencies happen.
But, I do not text, or continually check it. I also always explain to my date that I need to keep it out and why. If I feel the need to call or text, I will excuse myself to go the restroom.
To do otherwise is simply rude. And to think she looked at your phone....wow, dont even know what to say about that.
Hope your future dates are better!
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 129
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/15/2013 7:40:43 PM
Cellphone stalking? I'd have yelled at her in the restaurant so that everyone would have heard. She deserved it.

Texting someone else throughout the date? I'd have thanked her and left early.

If my phone receives a text during a date then it goes unanswered for the duration of the date. Period. If I get a phone call during a date I'll look at the number. If I think it's an emergency then I'll excuse myself, pick it up and ask if it's an emergency. If not, then I promptly tell the caller that I can't talk now and hang up. (Problem averted.)
 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 130
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:08:40 PM
If I get a phone call during a date I'll look at the number. If I think it's an emergency then I'll excuse myself, pick it up and ask if it's an emergency. If not, then I promptly tell the caller that I can't talk now and hang up. (Problem averted.)


No not really, the problem wasn't averted. You interrupt the conversation on a date to check your phone calls. And you state you will walk away to answer a phone call if you think if might be an emergency. You do not offer a woman your undivided attention. How do you expect to start a relationship with someone if you can't give them priority for a few hours?
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 131
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:15:26 PM
All of the excuses people use for needing to have their cell phones attached 24/7 when it's not job related-in case of emergencies or fear of invasion of aliens or whatever excuse is used is just a sign of deep insecurity. Insecure people want to flash their phones in public for everyone to see to try to convince other people they are needed 24/7 and are important enough to be on call. They are saying: "Look at me. I'm important." Fact is-if people truly felt there was a high chance of a medical emergency when they leave their home, normal people would never leave their house until all immediate threats of emergencies are taken care of.

If I was on a date and a woman plopped her cell phone on the table and told me she has to have it on the table to have quick access to it in case of emergency, I would tell her she's being very irresponsible by being out on a date when there's a high risk of a medical emergency happening at home. I would advise her to get home right away to deal with the potential threats. She can contact me later when the threat of danger is minimized.

My cell phone is in my car and it stays there when I go to meet someone-whether it be at a friend's or family member's house or on a meet/date. The only time I carry my cell phone is from my car to my house to recharge it and back to my car.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 132
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 7:20:27 AM

(maleman999) All of the excuses people use for needing to have their cell phones attached 24/7 when it's not job related...


What makes me , is people who think that, because their 'phone is job-related, that a call on it is NOT disruptive. That's delusional thinking. It may very well be LEGITIMATE, but it is *NOT* "not disruptive".

I don't know whether to laugh or cry at such rapidly-decreasing IQs...
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 133
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 8:27:21 AM

It may very well be LEGITIMATE, but it is *NOT* "not disruptive".

Quite so. And that's why The Big Apple Circus requires that cell phones be powered off completely, and won't let you back in if you exit during the performance.

I'm sure they're sympathetic if you just got a sudden case of the Aztec two-step, but even then you'll have to wait for intermission to re-enter, or for your family/friends/date to come out if it happened after intermission. Because getting up and moving about interrupts the performance, and re-entering doubles that interruption.

This is also true with a film. If I were at the theater and heard the distinctive buzzing of someone's phone vibrating (YES it's audible), and then the inconsiderate ninny pulled it out, distracting my eye with the lighted screen, then whispered to whoever was next to him to please excuse him, then stood up in front of me and exited, all while Lola was getting that spectacularly painful verbal beat-down from her father in Run Lola Run, or in the ambulance with the guard, or during Manni's subway scene, or - well, at just about any moment, really, there's no filler in this movie - the film would be ruined.

I would not attend such events if I were on call. I really don't think it would even occur to me, it's so obviously inappropriate.

And I wish musical theater venues would start requiring that we check the things as we enter. I've actually witnessed people looking at their phones and exiting during Les Misérables. Now, nothing in the world is going to detract from my enjoyment of any performance of that production, that would be impossible, but I was shocked, and I am sure it served as a detractor for others. The call-takers had no business being there.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 134
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 8:27:56 AM
No not really, the problem wasn't averted. You interrupt the conversation on a date to check your phone calls. And you state you will walk away to answer a phone call if you think if might be an emergency. You do not offer a woman your undivided attention. How do you expect to start a relationship with someone if you can't give them priority for a few hours?


I think it depends on the frequency. Yes it would be rude if someone is constantly taking phone calls. However I wouldn't mind a person having a brief phone call. It's not a bigger disruption than leaving to use the restroom. As mentioned before, women that I went out on dates would let someone know that they are okay.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 135
view profile
History
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 8:34:55 AM
^^^+1.
I would hate to think that my daughter can't get a hold of me if she really needs to, just because some "stranger" think it's rude to check my phone, and briefly ask her reason for calling.
Gosh, I hope those who leave their phone in the car not going to find a miss call about their loved one being rushed to a hospital with life treating injuries. Think about it!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 136
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 8:56:13 AM

I wouldn't mind a person having a brief phone call. It's not a bigger disruption than leaving to use the restroom. As mentioned before, women that I went out on dates would let someone know that they are okay.


To me, that's totally insane. If I'm on a date and a woman arranges to have a friend or relative call her while on the date or she needs to call the friend to confirm she's still alive and her body isn't dumped at the side of the road, why has she even bothered going on the date? Cell phones have created mass paranoia. How did civilization survive in the past?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 137
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 11:24:51 AM

(HelenBackAgain) I would not attend such events if I were on call. I really don't think it would even occur to me, it's so obviously inappropriate.


I'm not advocating beating all people who answer their cell-phones in a public venue... we'd just have to knock the stuffing out of a few, before the idea caught on that it's not a particularly good idea...
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 138
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 11:47:46 AM
I have plans tonight. I will be taking my phone and I will have it where I can see if it alerts. I have one son ending spring break and traveling back to school and another son who will be out at the prom this evening. If any of the people don't like that I have my phone within eyesight/earshot they can get right the hell over it. *shrug*
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 139
view profile
History
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 12:01:09 PM
^^^Well said. I agree. Egzatly.
 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 140
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 12:36:39 PM

I have plans tonight. I will be taking my phone and I will have it where I can see if it alerts. I have one son ending spring break and traveling back to school and another son who will be out at the prom this evening. If any of the people don't like that I have my phone within eyesight/earshot they can get right the hell over it. *shrug*


Doesn't that build co-dependence especially with the son going to the prom? Seriously, don't you think it's best for his development into manhood to be able to go to the prom without mom telling him her cell phone is on and in plain sight for him to call? And the other in college, why can't he solve his own problems? What if a plane or train is delayed? Think he can't handle it or do you purposely not want them to grow up?
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 141
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 1:29:17 PM

Doesn't that build co-dependence especially with the son going to the prom? Seriously, don't you think it's best for his development into manhood to be able to go to the prom without mom telling him her cell phone is on and in plain sight for him to call? And the other in college, why can't he solve his own problems? What if a plane or train is delayed? Think he can't handle it or do you purposely not want them to grow up?


There is a major difference between a child constantly contacting a parent over minor things and contacting a parent only when there is something important or an emergency. Even people that are fairly independent may need assistance in some situations. Whether it's from a parent, a friend or a Good Samaritan.
 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 142
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 1:43:29 PM

There is a major difference between a child constantly contacting a parent over minor things and contacting a parent only when there is something important or an emergency. Even people that are fairly independent may need assistance in some situations. Whether it's from a parent, a friend or a Good Samaritan.


And thats your rationale for a parent clearly establishing and wanting cell phone communication with a teen-age child at the prom? Try again because all that does is build paranoia and co-dependence. Prom's are usually at the school and school is generally a safe place where cell phone communication is considered distruptive and improper. It also teaches impatience.
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 143
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 1:48:06 PM
And thats your rationale for a parent clearly establishing and wanting cell phone communication with a teen-age child at the prom? Try again because all that does is build paranoia and co-dependence. Prom's are usually at the school and school is generally a safe place where cell phone communication is considered distruptive and improper. It also teaches impatience.


I'm talking about a child contacting a parent in general. Not just these particular examples. Besides a child can contact a parent just to let them know they made it home or to their destination safely.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 144
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 1:59:34 PM

Doesn't that build co-dependence especially with the son going to the prom?


No. How silly. I'm not going with them. In fact they aren't even coming home tonight.


Seriously, don't you think it's best for his development into manhood to be able to go to the prom without mom telling him her cell phone is on and in plain sight for him to call?


I have not told him and don't plan on telling him any such thing. It is for MY peace of mind, not his.


And the other in college, why can't he solve his own problems?


He can solve any issue better than most I know. He is the youngest in his class at law school after all. Once again it is for my peace of mind rather than his. I don't anticipate any issues but I know that out of respect for me he will send me a quick "I'm home" text when he arrives. I'm a parent and I worry. He realizes this and acknowledges it. When I travel somewhere I also send my sons a quick text letting them now I have arrived. It is a polite thing to do.He is driving so there are no train/plane issues.


Think he can't handle it or do you purposely not want them to grow up?


I have 3 sons and they are all more grown and self sufficient than many men I know half their age. The youngest (the one at prom) will be leaving for his spring break next week. He will be gone for 10 days and will be in Europe. This is his 4th time out of the country without a parent starting when he was 14. I have no worries about his traveling abroad. I do know that if any of my sons ever did have a need for me I would be there for them. That is what parents do.

You seem to be reaching a quite a bit and making a number of assumptions.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 145
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/16/2013 2:08:17 PM
UGH.

POF won't let me edit the original post.

Edited to respond to:


And thats your rationale for a parent clearly establishing and wanting cell phone communication with a teen-age child at the prom? Try again because all that does is build paranoia and co-dependence. Prom's are usually at the school and school is generally a safe place where cell phone communication is considered distruptive and improper. It also teaches impatience.


I have NO desire to establish nor do I want contact with him while he is at the prom and never said such. It is not at the school and in the 6 proms my sons have attended one never has been. They will be traveling into the "city" for dinner and then back to the prom. That is several hours in a car. I don't anticipate having any communication with them unless his date sends me a picture or something. I do plan on having my phone with me just in case. If you need to read a lot of nonsense into that ... go for it. You apparently need an issue where there is none.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 146
view profile
History
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/17/2013 5:12:50 AM
My worst date was about 10 years ago. Went on a lunch date that lasted about 90 minutes. Her 2 teenagers and 1 adolescent called 17 times, during the date. None of these calls were urgent. Yes I counted out loud enough for her to hear once we got to the third call.

We actually went on a second date several months later. We went to a movie, where she only got 6 calls from the kids. As in the first date, each call lasted 3-5 minutes. There was no third date.

As I look back on this, I was more tolerant back then. My patience is much shorter now.
 Albvs
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 147
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:41:20 AM


No not really, the problem wasn't averted. You interrupt the conversation on a date to check your phone calls. And you state you will walk away to answer a phone call if you think if might be an emergency. You do not offer a woman your undivided attention. How do you expect to start a relationship with someone if you can't give them priority for a few hours?

I think it depends on the frequency. Yes it would be rude if someone is constantly taking phone calls. However I wouldn't mind a person having a brief phone call. It's not a bigger disruption than leaving to use the restroom. As mentioned before, women that I went out on dates would let someone know that they are okay.

For a text message, it obviously wasn't an emergency so it doesn't get answered.
For a call, I know that most people wouldn't call me for an emergency, leaving a small subset who would. For that small subset I'd evaluate the time of day and the likeliness that it would be an emergency. Since I rarely field calls from my brother, for instance, the odds are good that he'd need some help and I would be the one he'd call.

And if my "date" was disturbed by my being diligent-and-yet-thoughtful in this circumstance (limiting the call to find out if it's an emergency) then I probably needed to weed her out anyway. (I didn't state that I'd walk away.) Your response reads as "high maintenance", btw.
 myeph1965
Joined: 10/15/2012
Msg: 148
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 3/17/2013 9:59:07 AM
If she did that to your phone imagine if you left your wallet
 WittyMinute
Joined: 7/5/2013
Msg: 149
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 7/23/2013 10:34:58 AM
If this happens to me, I always text the person:
"Uh, yeah...look up...it's me..."
"Can you go ahead and turn your phone off?"
"I guess I should just go -- should I get the check?"

I've been met by quiet embarrassment, nervous/irritated laughter, and a sincere apology.

There was a time not long ago when staying in touch required change and a phone booth.

I don't remember anyone getting up with a pocket of change to stand at the entry to the restrooms to chat with everyone who isn't there with them.

Now, I do have two daughters, teenaged. I do excuse myself and call them. They know to call and not text me if they need me in an emergency. That way if my phone vibrates I can say it's my daughter. All other contact on my phone is ignored.

I don't think there will ever be hard fast rules for cell phone etiquette, ever. But to use it shows your companion that their time isn't important, and neither are they.
 Lexti
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 150
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 7/23/2013 5:38:28 PM
I think it's just rude to be on your cell phone during a date unless it is something important. I put my phone on vibrate in my purse and don't even look at it. If it keeps buzzing, then I may say, "Excuse me,"and check to make sure its nothing. If it's just regular banter, I won't even respond or answer until the date is over or if I happen to go to the restroom. I actually had a date that was surprised that I never checked my phone in front of him during the date and we spent almost 4 hours together.
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