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 AUTHOR
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 172
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Cell phone etiquettePage 8 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I do not know about you or others, but if I am "on call", there is no drinking, and I need to be within a certain distance in order to get where I need to be when on call. Now, if the "on call" is nothing more than a phone call, then one must decide if being with another is understood that way or not, but most "on call" situations involve much more and one can not be out wining and dining when that need could arise.

Cell phones are a convenience, not a necessity for most of us, and when I am with others and they make it a necessity, they lose my interest quickly, and I move on to those that will focus their attention on me and what we are doing, not what everyone else on their phone list is doing or sharing with them. I will not check on them or their phone, and I expect the same from them concerning me and my cell.

I say put the phone away and make the one you are with, the point of interest in your life at that time, and go back to your social networking when alone.

cd
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 173
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Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 11:57:29 AM
Then what the flunk are they doing out on a date, inflicting their work schedule on someone else? If I wanted a "be-on-call-24/7-job", I'd get a "be-on-call-24/7-job" directly, instead of trying to get one vicariously through a date. I think "assclown" is an accurate term for someone so self-centered as to think that *THEIR* job stuff should be *MY* job stuff... I think "assclown" is an accurate term for someone so self-centered as to think that *THEIR* job stuff should be *MY* job stuff...

When someone owns or runs a busines, that's their reality - they have to be reachable 24/7. And, for such people, this willingness to be reachable 24/7 entitles them to the six-figure+ income many of them make. There are two people in my office in that position. One of them is single, but according to some of the numbnuts here, he'll just have to remain single because his phone might ring during a date, and he may have to remove his attention from his date for a few minutes.

I think assclown is an accurate term for someone so self-centered as to think they must be the center of the universe during every second of a date, regardless of the other person's situation.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 174
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 12:43:33 PM
Wonder how needing to use a PHONE BOOTH years ago when needing to be 24/7 worked out. Just what I thought, people got by.
 Blueline294
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 175
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 12:54:02 PM
Well my job required I be on call 24/7. There was no negotiation on that aspect. If that was a problem then you didn't take the position. Now that doesn't mean I was the primary on call every night but I was obligated to be available to assist if needed no matter what. Prior to the cell phones it was the dreaded pager and prior to that if you were the primary on call you had better be sitting by the phone at your residence. While dating someone I made them aware of the situation and never had a problem, but then again I didn't sit there waiting for the damn thing to go off either. Now I would be in the camp that if your just chatting to be talking then yes I would have to say that's pretty rude. But I can understand the "on call" aspect.
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 176
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Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 12:58:43 PM

Wonder how needing to use a PHONE BOOTH years ago when needing to be 24/7 worked out.

And it used to be that horses and trains were used to transport people and goods, and so that was what society adjusted to. We now have planes, vehicles, computers and cell phones, and our society has adjusted to all of that. Using what was common 25, 50 or 100 years ago as a measure of what people should or shouldn't do today is ridiculous.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 177
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 1:12:16 PM
Well someone that supposedly has to be glued to a phone 24/7 probably has some rough moments in the morning when using the bathroom and then showering AND still having to have the phone by their side and I don't think those moments have changed in the last 25-50 years or hundreds of years. And I am talking about the bathroom and showering.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 178
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 1:29:24 PM
A first meet/date is somewhat similar to a job interview-two strangers meeting, putting their best foot forward, and deciding if they are a good fit for each other. If you were at a job interview and your cell phone started ringing, would you take the call?



Using what was common 25, 50 or 100 years ago as a measure of what people should or shouldn't do today is ridiculous.


Does that include common courtesy?
 4ms4me
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 179
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Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 1:45:16 PM
A first meet/date is somewhat similar to a job interview-two strangers meeting, putting their best foot forward, and deciding if they are a good fit for each other. If you were at a job interview and your cell phone started ringing, would you take the call?

I don't think of a first meet as a job interview. Having said that, if I were at a job interview and I had children still at home, I'd probably have my cell on vibrate. That way, I'd be aware of having a call without it interrupting us, and I could check it at first opportunity. I'd likely behave the same way on a date. Since I don't have kids at home, and my work doesn't require 24/7 attendance, I don't have to worry about such things. But I'm not going to stand in judgement of those whose situation is different.

As for work-related, I've seen the president come out of meetings with his CEO to take a cell-phone call. He simply says "Excuse me, I have to take this call", and he does so. When one is negotiating multi-million-dollar deals around the world, any particular call could be important to the company's bottom line, and anyone taking offense at not being the center of attention at every moment isn't going to be around long, whether it's a colleague or a date.


Does that include common courtesy?

Common courtesy doesn't include expecting someone else to put their entire life on hold to salve your ego. If one was out 'courting', and got a message (delivered by someone on horseback or bicyle) about a family emergency or work obligation, or some other emergency, it would be considered extremely rude for others not to be understanding and supportive. But today, because people think they need to be the center of attention, the assumption of some is that cell-phone use while on a date is automatically wrong.

I'm not saying that that cell-phones can't be inappropriately used, but expecting or demanding that someone is obligated to turn it off or ignore it completely while with you is unreasonable, imo.
 Blueline294
Joined: 3/28/2012
Msg: 180
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 2:14:00 PM
Well someone that supposedly has to be glued to a phone 24/7 probably has some rough moments in the morning when using the bathroom and then showering AND still having to have the phone by their side.

^^^^^^^

Didn't have to answer it on the first ring.....but yeah it was a pain sometime.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 181
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 3:11:51 PM

Common courtesy doesn't include expecting someone else to put their entire life on hold to salve your ego.

Well said. I think people who b!tch about the other person using their phone are being too selfish. Phone call for What, is the first question.

If you're on a date and your date answers their phone without saying anything then you just hear them say, "Hey dude, what's going on? .... Oh, nothing much, just having a couple beers - what are you up to? .... Yeah? I dunno man, I think Michigan is going to bounce back after their loss to Michigan State..."

Then yes, That is rude! :) But everyone thinks every call is as meaningless as that.

Where common courtesy comes in is timing and what the call is all about. It's common courtesy to forewarn the person that you may have a really important call that will very possibly come in during the night. That should be pretty uncommon if their kid(s) aren't with a babysitter for the date. And even so -- so what? The courtesy is giving someone a heads up.... courtesy is not to interrupt things for petty stuff (see my example). But unfortunately, some people are childish and hate the concept OF a phone due to some past experiences (or they're just all about themselves and have a skewed vision on things) -- and don't care about any situation you may be in.
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 182
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/7/2013 7:24:34 PM
Then what the flunk are they doing out on a date, inflicting their work schedule on someone else? If I wanted a "be-on-call-24/7-job", I'd get a "be-on-call-24/7-job" directly, instead of trying to get one vicariously through a date. I think "assclown" is an accurate term for someone so self-centered as to think that *THEIR* job stuff should be *MY* job stuff...


People can decide to date ( or not date ) someone for whatever reason they want to. However telling other people not to date because of their job is not your decision. Many of the co-workers on call that I was referring to on my previous post are married or in relationships. Clearly not everybody views this as a dealbreaker.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 183
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/9/2013 9:28:38 AM

(4ms4me) When someone owns or runs a busines, that's their reality ...


Their reality, not mine. What gives them the right to inflict their situation on me?


And, for such people, this willingness to be reachable 24/7 entitles them to the six-figure+ income many of them make.


When they give me proceeds from their six-figure+ income, they can have some of my time.


There are two people in my office in that position. One of them is single, but according to some of the numbnuts here, he'll just have to remain single because his phone might ring during a date, and he may have to remove his attention from his date for a few minutes.


They made their choices; they, not others, have to live with the consequences of those decisions. It may come as a surprise to you, but people have to determine what they want, and wanting one thing may mean you can't have another. *ADULTS* accept that there are realistic limitations on what you can pursue. You can't always have it all.


I think assclown is an accurate term for someone so self-centered as to think they must be the center of the universe during every second of a date, regardless of the other person's situation.


We have different definitions of "assclown", it would seem. Mine is right, yours isn't...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 184
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/9/2013 9:30:48 AM


Does that include common courtesy?


(4ms4me) Common courtesy doesn't include expecting someone else to put their entire life on hold to salve your ego.


You should change your 'nym to "4ms4Manners", or perhaps "4ms4KnowsEverything"...
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 185
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/9/2013 9:36:41 AM

(chill78) However telling other people not to date because of their job is not your decision


*Phew!* Good thing I'm not telling others that they can or cannot date, then!


Clearly not everybody views this as a dealbreaker.


And clearly, some people do. I'm not saying that people on-call can't date (being averse to others trying to boss me around, I try never to boss others around: I leave that to mealy-mouthed pinheads, like some of those in this thread...); I'm saying that I fail to see why *MY* autonomy should be subservient to *THEIR* situation (fancy way of saying, "You're not the boss of me!")
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 186
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/9/2013 10:18:39 AM
Good thing I'm not telling others that they can or cannot date, then!


It sounded like you were saying people on call shouldn't date when you said this on msg 175.


Then what the flunk are they doing out on a date, inflicting their work schedule on someone else?


Then you changed your tune on msg 189.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 187
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/9/2013 10:47:18 AM


Then yes, That is rude! :) But everyone thinks every call is as meaningless as that.


good point!

from observation, likely only around 99% are so vapid & meaningless!

the cell phone can also be quite handy to use in a 'fake' way, arrange to have a friend call you at a certain time which will be

about 15-30 minutes in and if you have decided by then you want to bail, you can just claim it is an emergency involving

your kids or parents, etc. (i.e. lie) !

actually now that can be easily done even if you have no friends willing to help in your subterfuge, just set up a fake ring

I guess all should just chill, those addicted to the phone mi with their own kind and those who prefer real human to human

contact in person over phoning & texting constantly, stick to theirs

I get the "emergency" thing; funny thing is for some people EVERYTHING is an 'emergency'..

kid spilled milk at home, emergency!@ got to go relieve the sitter..
 DawnLuvs2Run
Joined: 8/8/2013
Msg: 188
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/9/2013 2:24:00 PM
Someone dredged up "the good ole days" and what one used to do before cell phones. It made me remember when I worked in a bar and you got phone calls to page someone. I think I'd much rather be with someone who got an important message via cell then having them paged over a loud speaker...lol.

Just a thought....
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 189
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/10/2013 10:06:10 AM


Good thing I'm not telling others that they can or cannot date, then!


(chill78) It sounded like you were saying people on call shouldn't date when you said this on msg 175.

(AT) Then what the flunk are they doing out on a date, inflicting their work schedule on someone else?

Then you changed your tune on msg 189.


No, you're wrong.
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 6/25/2013
Msg: 190
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/10/2013 10:11:41 AM

(dawnluvs2run) Someone dredged up "the good ole days" and what one used to do before cell phones. It made me remember when I worked in a bar and you got phone calls to page someone. I think I'd much rather be with someone who got an important message via cell then having them paged over a loud speaker...lol.

Just a thought....


Here's another thought: it's not like you *HAVE* to choose *HOW* you're going to be interrupted. It's not like you *HAVE* to go on a date, just *WAITING* to have the other person's cell 'phone go off.

(and for all the neurotic pinheads who are gonna go off about emergencies: I get it. Things happen in life. But, the original topic wasn't, "What if your date gets a call that Freddy Kreuger is in the house with his/her children?", but about some nimrod going through her date's cell while he was in the bathroom. Geezus, some of you need to get a grip...)
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 191
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/10/2013 3:06:55 PM
mrcs84- So I'm not the only person in the world left who actually prefers face to face interaction?! Thank goodness :)
My 19 year old daughter asked me not long ago why I always call her rather than text (I got the impression she was irritated with me. lol).
I told her, well it's just not the same as hearing your sweet voice, which earned me an eye roll and a sigh. :)
The situation the op presented here, this woman actually went through his phone while he was in the bathroom?!
That was out of line for her to do and if that would have been me I would have ended the date right then and there.
Ditto for the people who are addicted to their phones and talk on them all during dates.
Rudeness is rudeness.
I take my phone with me, but it's in my purse on silent and I check it every hour or so, the only way I'm going to call someone is if it's an emergency.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 192
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/10/2013 7:39:16 PM
so all the talk of answering the phone for an "emergency"

if it's THAT urgent of an 'emergency' what exactly are you going to do or accomplish that the EMTs, police and/or firefighters have not already done?

you may easily be at least 1/2-1 hour away from your loved one- in a "REAL" 'emergency' your response time is going to be pitifully slow and late
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 193
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/10/2013 7:52:23 PM
whippedboi- You know, there are some really bitter people in the world and one can't win against one so jaded, so I won't try. I don't care to argue with illogical responses.
I don't call, I don't win, I do call, I don't win-YAWN!
Btw-great screen name :D
 chill78
Joined: 10/13/2013
Msg: 194
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/11/2013 9:57:54 AM
No, you're wrong.

I stand by my comments in msg 190. Perhaps you misspoke and clarified yourself later.


and for all the neurotic pinheads who are gonna go off about emergencies: I get it. Things happen in life. But, the original topic wasn't, "What if your date gets a call that Freddy Kreuger is in the house with his/her children?", but about some nimrod going through her date's cell while he was in the bathroom. Geezus, some of you need to get a grip...)


I know what the original topic was. However some people in this thread insisted that ALL cell phone use during a date is rude. That's why I ( and others ) gave some situations / examples where using a cell phone would be okay with me.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 195
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/12/2013 1:25:13 PM
Anybody who even asks to go through your phone is creepy. It shows that there is no trust. Without trust, there is no relationship.
 sweetpe4u
Joined: 11/4/2013
Msg: 196
Cell phone etiquette
Posted: 11/13/2013 9:44:51 AM

Anybody who goes through your phone without your permission is dangerous and creepy.
Yup, I had one person do this to me constantly. I divorced him!
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