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 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 51
Why is he ignoring mePage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
This type pf post just kills me. I do not understand a "planned pregnancy" without a Planned wedding. Ok shoot me for being old fashioned here, but if you dont have a stable loving relationship, why in the world would you bring a child into that kind of mess? Speaking as someone who was married for 9 years before giving birth, even marriage sadly does not guarantee a man will be a good father, however, I personally think its downright insane to intentionally get pregnant with a man who can even commit to you. He is not blameless here either.. he should have taken precautions to avoid such things as well. I often have men in my office blaming the female for getting pregnant.. but lets get real he always has a choices.. birth control or dont have sex with her.
As for OP, I feel bad for the baby. You can pretty much not count on that flake to step up without court action. His family is distancing because they do not want any part of this mess. Again, shame for the innocent child. Whatever you decide to do from this point on, at least try and think about the innocent child in this whole mess and I hope you might learn something in this situation and not continue to think adding a baby will fix a broken relationship. Really Sad/
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 52
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 6:10:45 AM

You can pretty much not count on that flake to step up

Based on the message the OP sent me, this poor guy couldn't run far enough fast enough...
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 53
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Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 7:15:00 AM
OP
You have recieved good advice on this thread, which is forget about what X BF and his sister are doing you have WAY bigger issues to deal with.
I assume you are not going to consider and abortion. So start figuring out how to be a parent. This should be your only focus!!!!!!

If you mature at all over the next few years you will understand that all the ''bashers'' did was verbally vomit on to the screen what most of the rest of us were thinking, just didn't find it usefull to put out there.
 roadrunner2525
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 54
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:22:59 AM
Op, I am sorry that you are having problems but everyone has problems and this could be a big one. I think the reason some people are quick to attack is that you are structuring your post wrong to begin with. What no one knows is if you even plan on raising a baby or not. If so and if you feel depressed because you have no idea whether it is even possible to take care of another life then you are asking the wrong question. The disappearing man has nothing to do with this. A lot of women can help you go through the turmoil of what to do when a pregnancy occurs. My first thought was also just get an abortion because I don't trust the government to be of any quick assistance. They make painful things run in slow motion. No one knows what kind of parents you have, how stable they are, and how much they are willing to help. No one knows what your job potential is, your education level, etc. What everyone is attacking is the fact that you bring up a non-sense question and people are thinking troll or stupid. No one is here to judge you but everyone knows how serious this is, so don't get upset about what people say. Just continue asking questions to yourself and to others and you need to immediately get advice from doctors or the people whom handle planned parenthood. Remember there is never a stupid question, only stupid answers. In this case you broke the rules, you asked a stupid question about a wayward man whom doesn't want to be involved with life long problems. You are well aware that this is an emergency. We have politicians that constantly argue over whom has to pay for abortions and what they should consider when it comes to entitlements. If you don't already have most of this figured out then an abortion is the only answer.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 55
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Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:35:33 AM
I'm really sorry for the situation you are in.
Have you seen a Dr yet? You need to address your health and the health of your baby. That needs to be your priority, not the flakey guy!!! It's all about you and the baby now.
My advice would be to get used to the idea that this man is not going to be there and you have to learn to handle the decisions making yourself. Go foward as if you will never see him again, if he decides to man up then he will be a part of the baby's life, but with the behavior you are describing he does not sound like father material to me.
From your stress level, you need comfort speak to your family, friends and Dr immediately.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 56
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:51:32 AM

I mean you're no prince charming

Ouch .....

I guess I will just have to console myself with the fact that you aren't exactly my dream girl either.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 57
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 8:58:13 AM
OP needed a good dose of reality & it's a step in the right direction that she's pissed

I agree with this....I have 2 daughters and I have always told them life is about "choices"...in fact, I tell my grandchildren.. the same.
As we grow and mature...I am under the belief...When we know better...we do better...and I thank my mother for being strict and sharing with me her experiences/knowledge about things...I didn't always listen.

You bet, I was one of the first to jump on her about "her choices"....she is 25...not 16...
And I didn't judge her on what I don't know about her....but by what she told us.
Yes....we don't know all the details and we never will.....I bet "his" version of the "planned" pregnancy will be different...regardless...they both are in this.
But....we all know it is the woman left holding the bag in most these cases...
She has a life changing decision to make....and it's a hard one.
I wish her good Luck!
Get off the dang dating site....
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 58
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 9:41:14 AM
Wrong question, OPie.

This is your action line-->Do I want to continue this pregnancy?-->No. See Planned Parenthood, etc.-->Yes. A. Keep and raise baby as single mother-->see lawyer/state social worker about paternity test, and what they can *force* him to contribute (if he agrees). B. Go through pregnancy, give baby up for adoption.

Your time is limited, and is best NOT devoted to mourning a clearly lost relationship. No, we don't always get the blessing of knowing why, afterwards. Which is one of the best reasons for scoping him out going in, and giving what the two of you are making a little time to age before making life engulfing decisions with him.

I wish you love, and luck, and light. You are going to need all three going forward. And there IS no going back.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 59
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 10:13:00 AM
Good advice, Wooby.
However, just to clarify
Do I want to continue this pregnancy?-->No. See Planned Parenthood, etc.
Planned parenthood is NOT restricted to decisions about terminating pregnancy. They offer birth control, PREGNANCY TESTING, PAP smears, breast exams and reproductive counseling/STD testing for WOMEN and MEN.

Anyway, OP ... You just moved from Cali to Ohio. Where's your family? As I asked earlier, are you SURE you're pregnant? You had best see a Dr. to confirm this right away. If this was planned, I assume you have checked your health and leave benefits at work (you say you're a banker).

Anyway, quit trying to get attention from your EX and his family.
And heaven help you if you are using a pretense to get a reaction from him.


Have questions about STDs or pregnancy?
Text Planned Parenthood at:

PPINFO (774636)

Do it NOW!




 sddude
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 60
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Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 11:02:13 AM
I know quite a few women in your position , usually they try to use me as backup and take me
out of the friend zone, it is a hard desicion, the only people you can depend on now are your close friends and family. It is better to find a good responsible guy to love , commit to , marry then have a baby, than to have one on the fly like that, there are actually really good guys that would accept and take care of a pregnant woman , I know of some as long as their is no daddy drama.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 61
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 11:02:58 AM

I actually looked at your profile and you look really good on paper

In this case, perception is the reality.

truth is I could never be with someone who is as strict with demands and has the views you do towards women

The forums are the deception. I don't apologize for being a man and having a man's point of view .. but I'm putty in the arms of the right woman ;)
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 62
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 12:32:11 PM
If you are going to send nasty messages to people and tell them it's none of there business, perhaps you should keep.your business private as opposed to asking total strangers on the Internet for advice and opinions.
About my post; as a single, sexually active, if immature, adult, it is a perfectly legit question to propose. The young man in question would be well within his rights to ask for a paternity test. He doesn't know if you may have had another partner in the weeks you were seperated. No one is assuming you are a slut, unless of course you.
BTW, I maybe a fat ass but your attitude makes you one of the most unattractive people I've ever come across. You do know you can be reported for being abusive? And you have ....
 gogogo66
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 63
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 12:36:45 PM
Harsh priest man,she has every right to ask for opninions,it takes two to make a baby!
Sometimes birth control don't work
Put yourself in her shoes.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 64
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 12:37:08 PM
Deadliest, lol! Thanks for filling in what I left out (was trying to keep it stripped down). Back when I used them, they didn't do abortions at all, because it was pre-RoeVWade. . . . Got pap smears, a copper coil, and breast exams. Life savers, they were. And ARE.
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 65
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 12:46:40 PM
My reply is in response to a message the op sent my. Hurling insults and names then telling me it was none of my business. She does have every right to ask, she doesn't have the right to then personally attack those whose responses she doesn't like. I'm not the only nor first responder she did this to. I think we are dealing with a bored little coed troll on spring break.

And I wasn't being harsh. I actually was quit restrained in regards to my response.
 gogogo66
Joined: 2/4/2013
Msg: 66
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 12:53:37 PM
ok,priest man thats cool.

None of my business.
 lostinalostworld
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 67
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:24:49 PM
I'm trying really hard not to believe the op's story, but unfortunately it's probably true. So much for setting traps. Get the paternity test, welfare costs are killing those of us that have to pay for it.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 68
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:25:26 PM
Listen, OP ... It's not gonna wash to insist you know he is the father. Even the State will afford him the opportunity for paternity testing whether you were a virgin or not.

Too many cases have shown a propensity for duplicate (or more) virginities for any court to take a person's word as proof of paternity.
Any reputable lawyer (even yours) will request one. It's not an attempt to defame YOU. It's about doing what's right for the CHILD.

You had best prepare for that eventuality. Also, be prepared for the fact that if you try to keep him away from "his" child, he can demand a test.

After you get some of this settled, you may wish to seek counseling in an attempt to learn how to properly set your priorities and stop making everything about you.

If you moved from Cali to Ohio, hoping to rewrite your past history, this can come back and bite you in the butt.
Don't play games with a baby's future. Be honest with yourself and do what is right.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 69
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:32:01 PM

If you are going to send nasty messages to people and tell them it's none of there business

Well.. I wasn't the only one then.....
 Voni_boo
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 70
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Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:44:35 PM
It's funny how its been 24 hrs and you people are still on this post, I take it some of you don't have a job eh? Funny you people are ridiculous.
 Voni_boo
Joined: 1/28/2013
Msg: 71
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Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:46:49 PM
Then again my apologies I see a lot of you are 50+ so you all just sit on your ass all day, judge people you dont know and collect social security? Funny.

You people are fucked up in the head literally. You don't know a damn thing about me, judge all you want. I'm not losing any sleep.


A lot of you people are over 50+ and I find it funny you are taking the time to keep arguing over a thread it's crazy. However you can argue alone because you people are irreverent to me. Bye bitches

And FYI him and I talked so none of y'all advice matters, our baby will be good so keep the negativity going because I'm just laughing at how stupid you people are, 24 hrs later you idiots are still on this thread, there's 8383739372 other threads go get in other people's business.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 72
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:50:33 PM

collect social security? Funny.


What's "Funny" (as in tragic) is a 25 yr old "virgin" who thinks she "planned" an unwed pregnancy with a guy who she's only known for a few weeks. I wonder what kind of assistance the taxpayers will have to foot to support you and your baby?

P.S. Did you check with your benefits office at the bank where you work to ensure your health care and maternity benefits are in order?




You don't know a damn thing about me


1. We know you claim to have planned an unwed pregnancy, based on the fact the EX-BF "kept saying how he hope we have a baby ASAP." Sounds like you never came to a meeting of the minds on the definition of that word.
2. We know you put your photo and business here, for the world to see, even though you may be facing some tough decisions and this isn't the best place to announce your pregnancy to friends, family and co-workers.
3. We know you seem to be more concerned about what happens on Facebook than your real-life issues.

I'm not losing any sleep.

See what I mean?


And FYI him and I talked so none of y'all advice matters, our baby will be good


Bwahaha! According to your first posts, you guys have been on and off about 5 times in the last two weeks!?!?
I'm sure it's all sorted, now, though!
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 73
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:54:12 PM
^^^^
And cares more about being blocked on Facebook than the fetus she'll probably carry to term.

My sister was a teen mom and was way more mature than this one.It's not the age people should be worrying about... it's the maturity level. This possible child is doomed to a very hard life.



And FYI him and I talked so none of y'all advice matters, our baby will be good so keep the negativity going because I'm just laughing at how stupid you people are, 24 hrs later you idiots are still on this thread, there's 8383739372 other threads go get in other people's business.


"Hey here's my business, what do you guys think?"

*** Tells her what we think***

" You're so stupid, for gettin' in my business".

Anyone else catch the irony of someone getting pregnant for someone she hardly knows, worry more about her Facebook status and thinking that everyone over 50 collects social security calling other people stupid?

 SunForSome
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 74
Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 1:54:46 PM

The guy is blowing you off and hoping you'll go away if he ignores you long enough.


Yep. 9-1/2 times out of 10 this is the case... especially since you've tried to contact him multiple times.
The nice thing is that since you wanted a baby... you have a baby.
You can count on that baby being around for a long time.

The man, on the other hand... FORGET ABOUT IT!
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 75
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Why is he ignoring me
Posted: 3/15/2013 2:11:07 PM
You are one piece of work. You're making comments about 50 somethings yet you're the one on here asking opinions about getting your life into such a mess. The reason you're so unset is because you know we're right. In addition...most of us had relationship/marriage before we had our kids, even if it didn't go forever. When you come in here, you leave yourself wide open for things you will not want to hear, yet you call people names. Sorry, but you're not getting consolation in here. You met someone, got pregnant almost right away, and then are surprised that he's gone...duh! Let's not call people stupid...you're stupid for getting yourself in this mess, and you're the one who'll have to deal with it...not us. Take responsibility for your life, and if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question!!!
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