Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Womens views on FWB???      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Womens views on FWB???Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

I don't like FWB's because people don't know how to stick to rules and boundaries. The men that I've known that I've tried this with either got too possessive, jealous or what they were doing wasn't an FWB situation; it was a fling.


Yes, this does happen. Of course, that's not because the idea of FWB is flawed - it's people who are flawed. The same kinds of issues apply to other relationships such as marriage - it is an ideal that many people cannot live up to in practice.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 3/19/2013 12:14:40 PM

At least in a relationship the rule of we are exculisive is clear and the plan of action if its broken is clear too. Lol saves a whole lot of time and ag.


Yes, that is sometimes true. Of course, exclusivity is sometimes not honored, and sometimes is assumed (incorrectly) and not actually discussed. Still, traditional relationships are much better defined overall, so expectations are usually clearer or easier to agree upon.
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 3/19/2013 3:07:23 PM
I wouldn't be a woman in a fit, there is way to much going on in their minds!
we are all over 21 and when you are alone and crave some "sex' you (ladies) have to sit back and think
"O wait I will not ring Bob to come over and hit on him " I need a loving partner to make love to!
So what you meet a bloke this week go out for a week or two then bag his ass off!
Ok when you love someone it is better, and means more, but to just bang someone to have that felling of being inside her and the sheets and pillows in a mess! Its not the end of the world ladies!
and yes we all know its not the same for a woman as she has to watch she doesn't get a name for herself.
Making love is great, having sex is a close second ;)
 notsolost
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 30
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 3/19/2013 3:53:17 PM
i agree., as long as you aren't hurting anyone. Sex is sex and it's great if you can get it with a friend that you trust.
 JSBL1967
Joined: 2/22/2013
Msg: 31
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 3/20/2013 9:00:28 AM
Its not for me personally, But if two adults decide thats what they want to do, I dont think it is my place to tell them not to be that way.

One positive I can see is, it possibly avoids some of the heartache that can be associated with a loving relationship.

Busy times we all live in, not an excuse, but I can see where this would be beneficial to anyone who considers it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 32
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 3/20/2013 1:23:02 PM
FWB explicitly "means" not aiming for a relationship. Basically you get the (sexual) benefits, but not the romance or thoughts of commitment at any time, despite sexual exclusivity (for safety sake) being a common option. So yes, it almost always is temporary. It's either going to tip toward actually Dating (being a couple), or falling back to nothing or a f-uck buddy.

F-uck Buddy: Just pit-stops to the bedroom. You don't hang out, outside the bedroom. You're not really friends beyond facebook friends -- just a contact in the phone and/or online for "booty calls".

FWB (LD): They're a long-distance friend. Like most normal people, they both realize it'd be silly to try and have a real relationship, so they're friends who keep in touch... and when either one comes back into town & both single, they touch each other.

FWB (Group): They're a friend within a group and remain to be a friend just within a group. Usually a friend you mingle with more often, and know decently well. The only one-on-one time you have is going home with each other.

FWB (1-on-1): You're seeing each other, but you're not (actually) Dating. You still explicitly are not looking for commitment or to aiming be a couple. Seeing each other too much will end up becoming actual Dating, so some level of distance is necessary to still be actually FWB. If you're too close of friends, you are (at least casually) Dating. So still being truly FWB, you basically hang out with each other not-too-frequently, with no romance or doing couple-like things, but yes, you still get the sexual benefits. No commitment, feel free to engage with the opposite sex, but there may be a physical-exclusivity or let-me-know-if-you-do rule.

Have you ever gone out on a couple dates/outings with a gal where you both don't want to jump into a relationship soon at all, but before you started datING, early on you had sexual relations? Okay, freeze-frame. FWB 1-on-1 is basically keeping it in that zone indefinitely. You don't Progress towards being a couple. That requires keeping it at those once-a-week/when-its-mutally-convenient-to-hang-out sort of things.

Dating: You're seeing each other and are actually Dating. You're at least a casual couple, and you spend time together rather frequently and/or with romance & expectations.

Relationship: You've been Dating for some time and you're unquestionably a boyfriend/girlfriend.
 dbiggs69
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 33
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 12:08:21 PM
I would like to be FWB with a nice lady,but their feelings get in the way!
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 34
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 12:26:25 PM

FRIENDS WHO HAVE SEX! whats the problem? isn't that what we are all looking for in a relationship?

Some people are looking for a romantic relationship. Some people want to make long-term plans with a partner they hope will stay forever. Some people want to get married, buy a house, start a family, etc.

So no, the friendship and sex in a FWB relationship is not everything to everybody. I think it’s important for people to be very clear about that. It’s also not a series of one-night-stands with the same person. Or a relationship to enter into while harbouring secret hopes it becomes something else.

It’s not a relationship to just fall into with only a hazy idea about what is expected. Not if you want it to work well.
 milehiguy12
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 2:05:38 PM
It's really very simple. When you enter into a FWB relationship you have to understand right up front that as soon as you or your friend start developing deeper feelings you have to walk away from the benefits in order to keep the friendship. Too many people enter into this type of a relationship only to lose the friendship. If your adult enough to be able to compartmentalize your feelings and not cross boundaries this is a great way to enhance a friendship.
 baldguy500
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 36
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 3:22:12 PM
i think all women think about it or want a FWB...but they let psychology get in the way...after all they are NOT suppose to do this and that......kind of like if a woman has sex with a variety of men she is socially classified as a slut....if ya ask me there are way too many people who don't do what they want and instead do what they are told.....psychological oppression to me....sometimes humans think with narrow little minds....fragile thoughts....and then one day they wake up....they think for themselves and they do whatever the hell they want.....which is very healthy for humans as a whole.

I've been doing it since i was 10.....and i don't know any other way to live.
 Advwench
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 37
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 3:43:20 PM
I'd love to have a FB or FWB when I'm not in a relationship, but I know myself too well. I'd end up being stupid and getting emotions involved and that would be the end of the friendship. I'm not opposed to the idea at all... I just know it would end badly.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 38
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 3:50:34 PM
Over the past 7 years I have had what I would consider to be 3 FWB's. (LOL Hindsight here) Dated these men for 6 months to 18 months. Two of them exclusively. I made it very clear what I wanted from each of the relationships. To be a steady girlfriend. We had a great time together, everything but "I love you". I/we ended these relationships and I'll be damned if they didn't TRY to return. ....He would say,"But I loved you!", "I think we need to talk"..... LOL too bad, so sad! He/they had the opportunity. I have moved on. I truly enjoy the "I love you" from my boyfriend now!
 BeingaLady
Joined: 11/18/2010
Msg: 39
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 5:39:54 PM
I like it... a good friend who can have fun with
 NYCmasterplumber
Joined: 8/17/2006
Msg: 40
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 5:50:28 PM
Sometimes one of the partners cannot perform up to expectations and everything else in their marriage is great.

Rather then get a divorce some married and even single career women want to have a great physical relationship but not the boring life some relationships offer

I can fully understand friends with benefits as no one wants to eat the same thing day after day week after week year after year.

Normal people like a change of scenery and try new things and learn new things.

Women actually seek divorce more then men do, after the kids leave the nest now it is their time and FWB is a great alternative to getting into a long term relationship as they been there done that and now want some spice in their diet without having to answer to anyone but themselves
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 41
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 5:59:52 PM
I refuse to be anyone's FWB, F*ck buddy, or what ever the politically correct term is these days.

I have had some of my friends get into that situation, and it ended badly with feelings very hurt and a whole lot of anger.

Sure....it starts with an "agreement" between 2 people who can have fun - go to dinner, movies, and hit the sheets. Well things are all fine and good until someone develops feelings and decides they "want more", while the other party "likes things they way they are". The person who then wants more goes out of their way to "show" the other party how worthy they are of more and they don't take the proverbial bait.

So in essence, it ends on a very sour note with one or both parties feeling used, abused, hurt, angry, and depleted. - Not worth it.
 moonchildmn
Joined: 4/1/2013
Msg: 42
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:02:59 PM
I won't do it.

I'm a traditionalist, I like to date men, you know... go out to dinner, watch a game, play Scrabble, go for a walk. When we have sex, I still expect to date them, strange I know.
 not_your_girl_next_door
Joined: 6/24/2012
Msg: 43
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/10/2013 1:35:08 PM
Is it what I'm looking for ultimately? No. Could I do it? Sure.

I'm not going to subscribe to the sex-shaming view America seems to want to force on females that sex is wrong. I don't have sex with every guy I meet, in fact I have sex with a pretty low percentage of them.

I do have to actually be attracted to them to have sex with them...if I can see myself dating them. A real FWB relationship is more or less just casual dating...free to come and go as you please, and you might not have sex every time you see each other.

On a semi-related note, isn't it funny how men are put up on a pedestal for being promiscuous, yet women are shamed/ostracized for it, and homosexuality is considered morally wrong. Who exactly are they supposed to be having all of that sex with??
 Notclapton
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 44
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:51:21 PM
As long as you're aware that all their other "Friends" have the same "Benefits", and you're cool with that, go for it.

"FWB" is a fallacy that only works with a small percentage of people. Personally, it's not for me. If I'm sleeping with someone, they're THE person I'm sleeping with. I expect the same in return, but that's just me. I guess it all depends what you're looking for, and how you feel about monogamy.
 Shorty679
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 45
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:08:00 PM
Ive had good experiences with FWB. Its what I wanted at the time and it worked for me. No issues no drama. Had wonderful times too, a lot of good memories.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 46
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/11/2013 9:43:16 AM

"FWB" is a fallacy that only works with a small percentage of people. Personally, it's not for me. If I'm sleeping with someone, they're THE person I'm sleeping with.

Well, it's up to the two people to conjure up what flavor of "FWB" it is (which obviously has an impact of it's failure rate). Many FWB situations have it where you're Physically exclusive. Again, if you're FWB, you have something on-going (otherwise it was just a friend you once hooked up with)...

The ideal FWB situation would be two people who both aren't That into each other due to being different types, etc. They agree to hook up sometimes, and not to be too close, but also not to be merely fvck-buddies -- but be pals the same way as if they never hooked up (both not being That into each other is key for this). So when one meets up with someone they like or hooks up with someone, they let the other person know. That may cool off the "more than friends" side of it for a while, or maybe not.

The key is actual respect and caring how they feel and having open lines of communication -- like having for an actual friend (which they should be). And when there's no big emotion on either side combined with all that -- it's golden.

Usually why they don't or wouldn't work out is that one IS That into the other, while the other one isn't... which technically can be Fine, but it highly increases the % that things will fall apart. If the person who does have strong emotion for the other keeps their expectations at bay and doesn't let it become too close, then it can be fine -- just temporarily though.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/11/2013 1:45:55 PM
ahhh, so she is good enough to fu%k but not enough to have a full on relationship.
thats the prob a lot of women are coming across w/ men, me included. they want sex, with no responsibilities.
 milehiguy12
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/11/2013 2:41:54 PM
I'm not sure why men are always accused of taking advantage of women in a FWB relationship. Both people enter into the relationship with their eyes open. It's about mutual sexual satisfaction with a friend that for some reason doesn't go beyond the friendship stage. Are men looking for easy sex and women looking to entice a man into a deeper relationship? I have never had a bad experience in this type of relationship as long as we are both completely honest. I truly think that this type of a relationship can produce a really strong friendship and meet the needs of both people. At least it has for me.
 Jade41
Joined: 8/23/2011
Msg: 49
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:26:09 PM
I have no problem with fwb...if indeed its a friend with benefits...
i had one on and off for decades now...when we are both single...
these days guys call it fwb when they want a f#@% buddy....
a fb is not a true friendship and is temp, where a friend is a friend
whether having benefits or not...
 MillaMillaMilla
Joined: 11/18/2012
Msg: 50
Womens views on FWB???
Posted: 4/21/2013 6:56:28 AM
Wouldn't go any where near FWB
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Womens views on FWB???