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 relaxingwithyou
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 20
First Date PlanningPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
How old is the guy? Check out any local McDonalds and you'll be surprised to see the senior crowd hanging out. My 82 yr old neighbor LOVES to go there even though he could afford any place. He likes the retirement prices and the air con. Go figure?

The problem I see for you is he lives too far away for proper dating. If you do want to meet him take him to a museum or art gallery after McDonalds.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 21
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/18/2013 1:46:16 PM
^^^^^ (Kay's posting)

Planning a first 'meet' is different from a date. If worded correctly a man is not relinquishing assertiveness if giving the woman options. He can openly express awareness with her that a woman might not feel right meeting a stranger and want her to be at ease and in her comfort zone. He can suggest that she pick the location, or ...he can choose it 'if' it is fine with her.

I agree that after a first mee tif a woman doesn't find a guy to be psycho that he should be more proactive and assertive in making plans. However, the first meet?....respect that some women would like input.

In Msg. 11, Stubidooo addressed your post, and I agree with his point. He said, “Input is one thing ... the guy should have scoped out her area, picked a few places and made some recommendations. In addition, putting the responsibility on her to ‘plan something after’ is truly lame.”

In a general sense, I agree with you, too. It’s a positive thing--even endearing--when a man expresses concern for a woman’s comfort and safety. When a man offers specific options, it helps his date prepare for the meeting. His options tell her how much he is willing to spend (even if going Dutch), what type(s) of environment he enjoys, and whether he wants dinner, coffee, alcohol, etc.

I am not a fan of long distance dating, but there was a man who won me over, in spite of the miles. He did just as you and Stubidooo suggested. He googled restaurants and found some that sell my favorite foods. He bent over backwards to make me feel safe, comfortable, and worth the effort.
 Hasty_Pudding
Joined: 2/26/2013
Msg: 22
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/18/2013 2:43:46 PM
I can't be sure whether you're nervous; whether you're new -- but as you can see from responses, it's not just you.

Did the guy ask to meet in the very first message? No text/emails back'n'forth, no establishment of rapport or exploration of common ground?

Age 66 is bound to have its advantages, too. Whether or not you're new to dating, you've been observing people, interacting with them, relating to them -- even if not romantically, it's the same dynamics. So you'll probably be better than you think at detecting less-than-respectful behavior or attempts to bait 'n' switch.

McDonald's is a deal-breaker if only because every sane adult knows their food is not safe for human consumption.
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 23
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/18/2013 3:58:03 PM
You are kidding right? It IS you.
He said McDonalds to meet at not HAVE the meet at. You can always find the Mcdonalds.
After he is willing to do the driving to see you, It is way too much hassel for you to pick a resturant or what ever to go to?
Do him a favor and let him off the hook.
 QT3.18
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 24
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/18/2013 5:54:16 PM
Hang on a second....

So he is wrong for coming to your area once a week and not knowing a place to go, yet you want him to be sympathetic to your plight of not knowing the area while actually LIVING there?? How is he supposed to know that you have not left your house in years??
 H0wAboutIt
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 25
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/18/2013 8:11:06 PM
When he makes the ask he should have a plan. Simple as that. If this is how he's functioning in the BEGINNING you can imagine how much more disorganized and worst this will be after you're married with 2 kids.

He should be doing his homework. Look online and FIND OUT what's AROUND where you're meeting. Pick a place and go there.

Drop this clown
 ThisIsExistence
Joined: 11/10/2012
Msg: 26
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/18/2013 8:39:26 PM

. . . after you're married with 2 kids.


LOL
 Hasty_Pudding
Joined: 2/26/2013
Msg: 27
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/19/2013 5:36:23 AM

When he makes the ask he should have a plan.

He did have a plan -- it started with telling her what she had "better" do and from there I bet it would just keep getting EVEN better.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 28
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/21/2013 4:35:40 AM
You are kidding right? It IS you.
He said McDonalds to meet at not HAVE the meet at. You can always find the Mcdonalds.
After he is willing to do the driving to see you, It is way too much hassel for you to pick a resturant or what ever to go to?
Do him a favor and let him off the hook.

I agree. Most likely he suggested a VERY easy place to find after his long drive.
And it's not that he wants you to entertain him, but isn't it more likely that YOU have a place in mind that YOU know has good food, YOU know how to get there from McDonald's?
I know if I would drive a long distance, the last thing I would want to do is look for somewhere to go.
I mean you really think that's too much to ask??

If he is unfamiliar with the area, but knows that "landmark" I see no issue with meeting there then going elsewhere.

Let me just say this..If someone would drive to my city, I would probably tell her to meet me at McDonald's .
Easy to find, you can see those from the highway.

He did have a plan -- it started with telling her what she had "better" do and from there I bet it would just keep getting EVEN better.

so you better pick some place like Mcdonalds that is easy for me to find. after we meet what do you have in mind that we might do?"

In this case "better" doesn't mean he is ordering her around, making demands.
Maybe he should have said "TRY to pick some place like McDonald's, with that I would agree.


He should be doing his homework. Look online and FIND OUT what's AROUND where you're meeting. Pick a place and go there.

Well, that is also true.
But then he could have picked a place that might not for her liking.
Remember they don't know each other yet, from what I read there wasn't much talking , getting to know each other.
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 29
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/21/2013 2:36:46 PM
lol love it. :-)
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 30
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/21/2013 2:37:41 PM
rofl!!!
you all are hilarious
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 31
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/22/2013 2:18:22 PM
You could kill two birds with one stone. Instead of McDonalds, meet at Chucky Cheese. That way you have a place to eat, and some stuff to do that will match his maturity level.
 Beatlesnerd
Joined: 10/8/2010
Msg: 32
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/22/2013 6:51:49 PM
You can have anything you want here baby but... it has to be off the dollar menu. What? I'm on a budget.
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 33
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/23/2013 5:25:25 PM
Oh the hateful, jaded, and cynical views in this thread. I'm going with the lesser of two evils: the man just wanted an easier landmark to find.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 34
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Posted: 3/23/2013 7:49:13 PM
^^Yeah, sounds logical to me..
Guess many people miss the point that he only wanted to meet her there.

pick some place like Mcdonalds that is easy for me to find.

 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 35
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/23/2013 8:30:39 PM
DA DA ......DA..DA DAAAA Mc Donalds! Must be super hot, sizzling, to even contemplate a meeting at such a fine establishment. The jumpers are fascinating. If he comes to your area quite often, then why would he suggest Mickey D's, and then plan on what to do?
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 36
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/24/2013 7:35:04 AM

I'm going with the lesser of two evils: the man just wanted an easier landmark to find.

I just don't buy this.. in the GPS age, it just isn't that hard to find something anymore and it doesn't alleviate the fact that he should have gotten his lazy butt online and picked a place himself.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 37
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:11:34 AM
No GPS here either.
Call me lazy, but I would have asked her to pick a place too after we MEET at the McD.
Is that really all that hard to do for her?
Sure I could have gone online, but as I said earlier there is a risk I could pick a place that not all that good.
I stand by my oponien, and say she should have done some of the planning. IMO..IMO..IMO..
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 38
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:22:18 AM

I don't have GPS.


No GPS here either.

Do you have cars or does the horse still do just fine for you gents? They have this place called Amazon where you can buy cool stuff... check it out...
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 39
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:30:32 AM
No thanks..I am more than capable to find my way around without any help.
You go ahead an have a little machine tell you what to do, and if there is no signal just sit on the side of the road crying, because nobody is there to help to guide you.
 Hasty_Pudding
Joined: 2/26/2013
Msg: 40
First Date Planning
Posted: 3/31/2013 3:15:08 PM

But this isn't about GPS is it? It's about a guy who dared to make the sugestion of meeting at a McDonalds. Not eating there mind you, meeting there since he was unfamiliar with the area. Shall we track him down and stone him or put the scarlet letters "McD" on his forehead?

Simmer down, old fella.
I thought it was about first date planning and how the McD dude not only had none, but told her she better come up with one?
 melissa0607
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 41
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First Date Planning
Posted: 3/31/2013 8:06:38 PM
I am with the crowd that thinks he was suggesting that as an easy place to find and to meet and then go somewhere from there. It is always an easy place to see, the golden arches are a landmark.

As far as asking you to pick a place, what's the problem? Just because he travels there for work does not mean that he would know places lie someone that lives there. Maybe he wants you to enjoy the place you go to. Picking somewhere without any real knowledge of whether it is good or not is a crap-shoot. You may not go out much but you must have friends, family, neighbors, know someone who does go out.

Meet him, pick a place you like to go and feel comfortable and see how it goes. You don;t have to go out with him again if you don;t like him but I would give him the benefit of the doubt on these issues.
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