Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating use to be fun...      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 26
Dating use to be fun...Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have a few male friends like that. They are fair weather friends, most often these types work in sales.

When I see them they are very friendly, it's all let's get together and play racket ball, go for a walk to the bar later this evening, call me in a couple of hours.

But no follow through at all, if I call they don't answer the phone, it goes to voice mail, sometimes the mail box is full I can't even leave a MSG, but next time I see them in the street or at the gym, it's the same thing all over again.

I have learned that those that are quickly excessively friendly aren't to be taken too seriously.
 Deepseaceecee
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 27
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 4:03:08 PM
Yes texting is the worst. You need to be able to talk and hear a voice. I think he maybe actually married and I would not text him again. Dont put yourself down, He may not have felt the vibes with you but doesnt want to say. He is leaving his options open but if he gets back to you
later, I wouldnt bother. He is bad mannered at the least.

 Iredurbio2
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 28
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 4:08:35 PM
Could it have been a guy that has been sending out messages and hardly getting any responses?
Then he gets a message from you,the two of you go out and have a good time.He starts having second
thoughts for what ever reason.Then decides to pull some stupid immature move to ignore you and drop
off the face of the planet because he knew it would rub you the wrong way and leave you a annoyed.
Like it's some way of getting his revenge for the past hundreds of messages to others that blew him
off.The bottom line is that he's a fool!I mean if that's the case ,who knows?
Consider yourself lucky.
 purple58
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 4:17:18 PM
I know what u mean. Same thing happened except I dated him 4 two mths. If one is not interested anymore they should let one know ---not just "NOTHING". I guess men are "chicken" about it.
One thing u know now is that is not good for you.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 30
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 4:18:19 PM

If a male is into you, he makes that PLAIN. Men are not subtle creatures, when interested they DO NOT back off, drop contact or avoid you.


Does he???? In this day and age, you girls should quit using examples of what the 10 year old boys use to do to ya. We ain't the same. Nope. Far from it.

We walk very gingerly nowadays around the "new and improved" women of today. We have to. We get called every phucking generic name you girls can come up with, WHEN we do not "act" the way you see fit. Read these forums for many examples of this horseshiat.

We can't act aggresive or we are labelled needy. We can't act passive or we are called flakes . We can't have "fun" with you, and then decided that the "fun" isn't enough, and stop what hasn't really started or we are labelled "players". And yeah, you had a very BIG part in the process of making the men that we are now.

Happy yet????
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 31
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 5:17:53 PM
OP, there are so many women that do the same thing on POF. Actually it is with any dating site, lots of women who say this or that and then never do what they say. Like it or not, it is just a fact of online dating. Sad but true.
 rocking ritschel
Joined: 2/2/2010
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 5:46:29 PM
I wish I could say dating is fun,I hate it,it makes me so anxious and nervous and I get so stressed I dont have any fun at all, I feel like Im on a damn job interview half the time.
 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 33
Dating used to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 5:50:23 PM
OP, guys have a tendency to burn out if you let them go all hot and heavy after you, too much, too soon, and they will back off, regardless what these other female posters seem to know about men's behavior, they are totally clueless. Yes, we will pursue you but if you let it get too hot too soon, we will need to back off and chill out for a few days. BUT, you can never reach out to them or they may just drop you entirely. We don't like women that appear needy, whether you are or not, it's the appearance that will drive us away.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 34
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 6:47:34 PM
OP. You look mature for 31. Re-evaluate your picking process. It may be a bit off. Maybe some more mature guys who've got their things together and know what they want. Sometimes we need a break to re-evaluate what we wish for, and re-evaluate ourselves.

Keep your chin up, and best of luck.

Silly Goose
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/19/2013 9:02:42 PM
OP, it's called ghosting. I've been on dating sites both paid and free over the past 12 years, and the very few woen who've seen fit to give me the time of day have usually ghosted me after about 5 messages. You may hate it now, but you'll get used to it. You'll find there are extremely few people (both sexes) that are online to really do anything more than play, but never actually get into any kind of serious relationship. That's why they are online. They don't have to go out and meet someone, and get all the chemistry going and get all serious.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 36
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 9:33:13 AM
I had fun dating....

...in college 18 years ago.

It's a job interview now combined with 20 questions and the reality show The Bachelor (or Bachelorette, depending on your gender). It suuuucccckkksss... so it is so much less of a priority for me now. Free yourself. Lol
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 9:48:15 AM
If a guy is into you they make it known. I personally am the same way and I don't hesitate to ask out a woman I am interested in. And if the first meet was good towards the end I explicitly tell the lady I will call her the next day or the day after so there is no guessing or waiting involved.

Only time I would hesitate to ask a woman out or for another date would be because some major conflict of interest is involved that I forsee causing a major roadblock to a potential relationship. But if it is something major I would call the woman to let her know that it wouldn't work out.

My advice is don't waste your time with people that don't make you a priority. If I really like a woman it would be foolish to play the waiting game and frankly no woman has accused me of being needy based on my approach. I make it clear when I will call or when I can't because of errands, work or school.

When I was in my teens I wasn't proactive enough and I watched the more proactive men scoop up the women that I was interested in high school. Women aren't mind readers either, so a man has to communicate that he likes a woman.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 38
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 11:05:20 AM
Women do the disappearing act just as much as guys. How many women say to guys: "I'm not into you or attracted to you. So don't contact me anymore." Women usually just disappear and block.
 mmmkayyy
Joined: 1/20/2013
Msg: 39
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 2:18:35 PM
I completely agree....I have actually become kinda numb to this whole dating thing. The first couple times I started talking to guys I would put all my effort into one guy at a time, and then when things didn't work out I would feel very disappointed. Granted I have met some very nice guys on this website, I sometimes wonder if online dating is the downfall of finding ONE great relationship.
 roadrunner2525
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 40
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 3:44:11 PM
Texting sucks, call him on the phone. Maybe he was looking for sex to begin with and you gave him the impression that it wasn't going to happen too soon. Women like to talk more than most men so maybe he is just responding when he is ready but otherwise he may not be that into you which is what you are already thinking. Not worth getting stressed out about. A lot of lonely men on pof, give another one a shot.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 5:24:44 PM

We walk very gingerly nowadays around the "new and improved" women of today. We have to. We get called every phucking generic name you girls can come up with, WHEN we do not "act" the way you see fit. Read these forums for many examples of this horseshiat.

We can't act aggresive or we are labelled needy. We can't act passive or we are called flakes . We can't have "fun" with you, and then decided that the "fun" isn't enough, and stop what hasn't really started or we are labelled "players". And yeah, you had a very BIG part in the process of making the men that we are now.



...LOL...yea I had to laugh at this because there seem to be so many rules these days with women.

BUT......I think rules are made to be broken and be damned if I'm gonna stop opening doors for ladies, or not smile at them.......or not engage in smalltalk at the coffee shop with someone I think is cute..........all for the sake of potentially offending someone........

I do get caught sometimes glancing at a nice set of breasts when a hottie walks by......but dammit!! I AM a guy and I'm ATTRACTED to women, and I conduct myself accordingly.............no WAY I'm gonna hide in a hole and clam up because SOME women are all high and mighty..........

Sporting your firm breasts in a revealing T-shirt? - Yep!! I'm gonna glance!!
Wearing some nice perfume that smells good? - Yep!! I'm gonna complement you on it!
Looking great in that skirt and high heels? - Yep!! I'm gonna open a door for you as you walk in!!

And no, I'm not going to be a creep about it. There is a fine line between complement and creep, glance and stare - and I know the difference............

Back to the op's post about not getting a response after the first date- I for one didn't beat around the bush. If I liked you after the first date, I said so (or said I didn't if I thought it didn't go well) right away.........no point in wasting time and effort. And I appreciated the same in women who did that. I'm the same in that I didn't like talking on the phone or txting endlessly without meeting. If there is potential, lets meet right away and see if there is a chance, and then be up front about the second date (or lack thereof).
 Belluvthebawl
Joined: 2/19/2013
Msg: 42
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 5:24:51 PM
Drop the assumptions/expectations and just have fun with it!!!

All this "I texted him and then he texted me but it wasn't quick so then I texted the next day but I wasn't in good cell phone reception range so I texted him again just in case he tried to text me and I didn't get it blah blah blah" is absurd!! Stop it!! Don't try to force it by having preconceived notions on how you think exchanges should go. If you don't get a response, leave him the heck alone. People are fickle and will change their minds!! And 9 times out of 10 it has NOTHING to do with you.....it just happens. When you get all bent up in the workings of this process you forget to just have fun with it.

Now forget this guy and move on!!
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 43
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 6:11:03 PM
OP, you said you enjoyed your date, right? Sad that it fizzled, but the actual date was good. So look at the bright side of the day you had and not the disappointment of not having more. I'm old, jaded and bitter, yet I still enjoy the few dates I'm on. Even if they don't turn out. I enjoy the company and the moment. And the next date with another lady could be the last date ever. Right there and then ON the date is what matters. And in return for my good attitude on a date I've never been feeling lied to or flaked out on. I skip the aftermath when it doesn't turn out and keep looking. Maybe one day a lady will be exactly what I like, and I'm not going to 'punish' her by dragging in thoughts from prior outcomes with other women.

I like POF and one other site. And yes, I've been through the same as you, I just don't dwell on it. Oh, and I don't text or call. I send a few messages and actually see the lady in person.
 spirited-won
Joined: 1/6/2013
Msg: 44
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 7:02:29 PM
Yeah, it's pretty basic...if he texts/calls he's interested. If he doesn't or contact dies...he's just not that into you... Nothing to figure out there sweetheart.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 45
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 7:17:53 PM
We can't act aggresive or we are labelled needy. We can't act passive or we are called flakes . We can't have "fun" with you, and then decided that the "fun" isn't enough, and stop what hasn't really started or we are labelled "players". And yeah, you had a very BIG part in the process of making the men that we are now.


You forgot to add in one of the cardinal sins of dating to some women: If a guy dare use a coupon on a date, he's a cheap SOB who will be blacklisted forever. Only cash and credit cards at full price are acceptable.
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 46
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 7:56:26 PM
Because some of the men I date tend to be shy, if a meet or date goes well, I'll send them a text to say I enjoyed meeting them, or I had a good time- just something to let them know I'm open to further contact.

But other than that- I don't need a guy to tell me he's not interested. If he doesn't contact me, I know. Just don't sit around waiting or worrying if he calls you and you wont be disturbed by this.

If a guy asks me out after we have met and I'm not interested, I'll straight out tell him I don't think we are a match. I won't call them or text after the date- I will say it was nice meeting them when we part and that's it. And I pay for myself.

If you have been seeing someone more than 3 dates- then they really should let you know they don't feel the connection or something, to be polite. If you have had sex, (unless it's first date sex because that should be obvious it may not go past there) then at the very least a phone call NOT text.

But that's my version of manners. Your results may vary.
 Bohica4u
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 47
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/20/2013 8:23:29 PM
its about attitude have one that says lets have fun lets try new things lets try something we havent and if you step in a few potholes along the way no big deal..step over the next ones and keep moving forward...finding compatibility is not easy but the adventure to finding it can be....otherwise if it was easy it would not be treasured so
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 48
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:57:00 AM
Meh..something shinier caught his attention and off he went in that direction.

Lots of folks treat online dating sites like they're candy stores - there's too much to choose from and they're constantly grabbing whatever they can off the shelf.
 JS3344
Joined: 2/12/2013
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:08:35 AM
Boy did I get burned last night......girl sent me a flirt, led to a phone call, everything was cool. I disreguarded the no dinner rule, because I liked her picture so much, and I had to drive 41 miles to an affluent area, so i didn't want to be a cheap ass, I thought magic might happen.
I show up and she looks nothing like her picture, not fat, but instead of shoulder length brunette, she had black hair to her knees, and it was obvious the profile pic was at least 20 years old....if it was her. She also lied about her occupation, said she was in health care...turns out she works in a dog kennel, slight difference. I'm livid she misrepresented herself, and pissed at myself for being an such an idiot, thats never happened before because I'm real careful at checking a profile...I am so pissed i need to break something.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 50
Dating use to be fun...
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:15:37 AM
^^^ thinking with the wrong head I would guess. LOL
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating use to be fun...