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 Gideon_70
Joined: 9/9/2005
Msg: 126
Orgasms from penetration alonePage 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

I was raised to think that a woman should never deny a man sex (if in a relationship). You don't actually fix or solve anything by denying sex to a man,


This is the smartest thing I've heard on here today. I dropped out of the dating scene because sex was being used as a weapon by the women I met. Frankly, sex with men is more than just a desire to get off, it can be physically painful to go without it for a week or so, and my ex not only didn't care, she thought it was funny. I would never have looked at her in pain and said, "That's funny." I had had times when sex was undesirable because of the situations around us, and I understand that. But having it used as a weapon was disgusting to me. Like, dead dog in the road rotting kind of disgusting.

I have had a relationship where she would never deny me, no matter what. It was nice, but I rarely took her up on the offers because I could tell she wasn't into it, just being nice. When I did take her up on it, unless she specifically told me not to, I would make sure she enjoyed herself as well. But never, NEVER would I deny her sex to punish her!

It's sad that so many in here think that it's acceptable to do that, which is probably why many are in here instead of in relationships.

Ladies, reverse the situations. Would YOU appreciate it if your mate used sex to manipulate or punish you?
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 127
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/4/2014 11:18:14 AM
^ I still don't understand some of this either. I've never had any kind of discomfort or pain because of a lack of sex, or even because of getting close to orgasm then backing off. Not one bit of discomfort or pain, not even a hint of it. Never, my whole life. And I don't have any kind of dysfunction or E.D., everything's fine, plenty of appetite, and capability, and plenty of interest in the opposite sex.

So I was always tempted to think that this is something that guys make up, except that I'm open to the possibility that things are different for other people's bodies, so I won't claim to know such a thing for sure. It's still just really weird to me though.

(Now and then I have this crazy idea that a big reason I don't have anyone is because most women, despite me not wanting to think of them in this pessimistic way, really are just trying to manipulate...and since my sexual-physiology doesn't work the way that it alledgedly...supposedly...does with other men, and I can't be manipulated that way, then these women don't want me because they can't exercise that power over me.)

I don't think that someone should be obligated to have sex though. If they're thinking of it as punishment, or using it as manipulation, then that might be a little weird, that's on them, and that thinking might need to be addressed. But, if a person isn't getting along with another, isn't in the mood, feelings are hurt or someone is mad or someone has been disrespectful or obnoxious, either way...to think that they shouldn't withold sex just because the other person wants or "needs" it is also weird to me. Except for that aforementioned "open mindedness" of mine, I'd swear that stuff like this is just a bunch of game, scam, hoo-ey. Pile of hoo-ha.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 128
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/4/2014 11:29:03 AM

Ladies, reverse the situations. Would YOU appreciate it if your mate used sex to manipulate or punish you?


I don't think women "deny" sex for punishment or manipulations. I've never nor have I ever heard a female friend elude to that. I think it's just that if you are resenting the person at that moment, or not feeling particularly loving or sharing towards them at the moment, the last thing you want is their face in yours, or other things in yours.

That would get you a quick ticket to resenting sex with them, which wouldn't be good.

Consider it a preservation of the sacredness of sex for reasons other than to be "just" some cum dump.

 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 129
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/4/2014 1:35:45 PM
To answer the question, No. It may APPEAR so if in the cowgirl position.

Ladies, reverse the situations. Would YOU appreciate it if your mate used sex to manipulate or punish you?
No, and my second marriage/husband (passive-aggressive) did this, for 3.5 years, to me. In spite of this I remained faithful to him. Enough said.
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 130
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/4/2014 1:57:22 PM
Wading through this entire thread was quite the entertaining read as I ease back into forum participation. The one quote that nailed it best for me was this:


<div class="quote"> How could you predict what any one woman's response will be? We are as varied as the stars in the sky. And all of them are beautiful.

The only thing I can say for sure is that no two women respond the same. To address the title topic I haven't kept statistics but my guess would be about half of the women I've been with can orgasm through penetration alone, but it very much depends on what happened leading up to the penetration. Effective foreplay is a lot more than just touching specific spots specific ways. It's all about building a mood and that involves all sorts of things.

To affirm what's already been written here, some women are hypersensitive after cumming. Others find continued stimulation leads to ever more powerful orgasms. Yet others start with the big shebang then enjoy nice aftershocks as we keep going. And then there are those who can reach such a heightened state that their whole body becomes one big G spot where the proper stimulation anywhere can bring on another orgasm. On rare occasions I've been able to help her to an orgasm simply by stroking her aura, focusing energy in just the right spot without making any physical contact whatsoever. Those are magical times.

Some of it has to do with how she's wired, some of it what I do, and a lot of it has to do with just how tuned in to each other we are. When things are really clicking I can sense every shift in her response to me and faking an orgasm would not be at all possible. I won't presume no woman has ever fooled me with a fake orgasm since not every time have we been that dialed in, but when we are I feel a portion of everything she feels.

Micki likes to emphasize the importance of good communication, and I wholeheartedly agree, but it's also important to note that communication takes many forms, only a few of them verbal. I do my utmost to tune into how my partner is responding, taking cues from anything and everything. Verbal instructions are great, but often her body tells me most of what I need to know. The key is to pay attention! Whatever magic tongue swirl worked perfectly with my last partner may be no help whatsoever with who I'm with.

And finally, to the poster who is in the habit or hurrying her man along then feigning surprise when he cums quickly, you and your ilk can stay the hell away from me. That kind of game playing has no place in any relationship I'm in, serious or casual. Lovemaking is no time for deception in my world. It's all about both of us taking delight in shared joy and ecstasy. If we've got things to resolve that should happen outside the bedroom.
 meoww207
Joined: 12/29/2013
Msg: 131
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/6/2014 5:46:12 AM
I love this thread!

I can orgasm from penetration only when on top. The rest of the time I need stimulation either orally or from my/his hands. There have been times I've been in missionary/doggy and been very close to orgasm through penetration alone, but once the rhythm, speed, position, etc changes I will lose it.
 lookinfouryoutoo
Joined: 7/31/2012
Msg: 132
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/6/2014 11:10:58 AM

There have been times I've been in missionary/doggy and been very close to orgasm through penetration alone, but once the rhythm, speed, position, etc changes I will lose it.


Next time, tell your partner, "don't stop!" Should clear that little problem right up!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 133
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/6/2014 12:23:36 PM

Frankly, sex with men is more than just a desire to get off, it can be physically painful to go without it for a week or so, and my ex not only didn't care, she thought it was funny.

Not all men experience this. It’s vascular congestion and can be easily rectified with the use of an ice pack.

As a sadist, this kind of thing appeals to me though. In a specific time and place, everyone in agreement, everyone consenting, non-manipulative kind of way.

Using “my balls hurt and it’s all your fault if you don’t have sex with me” as an excuse is manipulative and shady.


But having it used as a weapon was disgusting to me.

Yes, anything used in that fashion would be.


Now and then I have this crazy idea that a big reason I don't have anyone is because most women, despite me not wanting to think of them in this pessimistic way, really are just trying to manipulate...and since my sexual-physiology doesn't work the way that it alledgedly...supposedly...does with other men, and I can't be manipulated that way, then these women don't want me because they can't exercise that power over me.

Quit overthinking things. Sheesh!

I can probably count on one hand the number of my partners that have expressed the fact they experience discomfort, and still have plenty of fingers left over. You are not alone.

I have purposefully caused (see above mention of my being a sadist for reference) said discomfort. Not from a sexual weapon point of view, because the intention was to make my partner insane with need for me during the day so that when we were together that night the sex would be crazy wild. That kind of long-drawn out sexual teasing not only works him up into a frenzy, but it works that way for me too.


if a person isn't getting along with another, isn't in the mood, feelings are hurt or someone is mad or someone has been disrespectful or obnoxious, either way...to think that they shouldn't withold sex just because the other person wants or "needs" it is also weird to me.

Agreed. If I don’t have sex with my partner, I can promise you it’s not out of the need to manipulate him. I’m more likely to manipulate him into having sex with me than not. *grins*


I don't think women "deny" sex for punishment or manipulations. I've never nor have I ever heard a female friend elude to that.

Don’t be so naïve to think just because you haven’t heard it or your female friends don’t do it that it doesn’t happen. Obviously it does since there are men here that have said it’s been done to them. I’ve never done it, none of my GFs have done it either, yet I know it exists.


I think it's just that if you are resenting the person at that moment, or not feeling particularly loving or sharing towards them at the moment, the last thing you want is their face in yours, or other things in yours.

Absolutely. If I’m upset with my partner, I’m not likely to want to have sex with them.

However, I HAVE had sex with a partner (a) while recovering from spinal surgery (actually, we had a lot of sex during the 10 months waiting to have the surgery for a torn disc), (b) double pneumonia and bronchitis, (c) cystitis, (d) feverish with the flu, (e) I probably begged and pleaded to have sex while in the hospital after giving birth too…and probably a hundred other times too. I like sex, it makes me feel alive and connected to my partner.


Ladies, reverse the situations. Would YOU appreciate it if your mate used sex to manipulate or punish you?

My ex-husband DID do that. I was a SAHM, and if the house wasn’t clean, laundry done, kids absolutely perfectly quiet and well behaved (yeah, you try that with an ADHD/Aspie and an ADHD kid in the house), then he wouldn’t be interested. Nothing I did was good enough for him.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 134
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/6/2014 12:24:07 PM
^ One of the reasons I think her on top is most enjoyable for both of us. Including her on top of my face and having to do what she wants, not relying on me to do anything.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 135
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/6/2014 3:28:27 PM

I can orgasm from penetration only when on top. The rest of the time I need stimulation either orally or from my/his hands. There have been times I've been in missionary/doggy and been very close to orgasm through penetration alone, but once the rhythm, speed, position, etc changes I will lose it.


I would guess the reason for this with you is that you get more excited by being in control. Not being in control is enough of a turn off that you don't orgasm.

From my experience it really is about 20-30% of women that can orgasm from penetration alone. Most will need a fair amount of foreplay, but maybe 5% few will orgasm within a few minutes. Maybe another 10% never orgasm from any method.

Everyone, even males, are different. Granted males are more predicable about orgasm, but the intensity can vary quite a bit even for males.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 136
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/12/2014 4:12:52 AM
LOL....never had my ego bruised....and was always appreciative when she would suggest what she liked....as for penitration and orgasm your right most dont do it and the ones Ive had that could I can count on one hand.I do proud myself of giving GOOD oral tho and really love doing soo.....from kissing and long foreplay to te elusive....nothing like it!
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 137
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/12/2014 8:29:53 AM

I would guess the reason for this with you is that you get more excited by being in control. Not being in control is enough of a turn off that you don't orgasm.


Nah, it's because you can control the angle and depth to hit your spots the way you like it. There can also be more clit stimulation add to the sensations to make the orgasm more powerful.

There's also the issue that you can slow down or pick up the pace to build the orgasm. No different than what men do when are providing the movement in other positions.
 Alphacuck
Joined: 11/18/2013
Msg: 138
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/20/2014 4:43:10 AM
Orgasms from penetration alone???? Not an easy feat, Try having an orgasm from penetration with a partner instead!
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 139
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/20/2014 4:59:15 AM
Well,it's been almost a year since I started this thread and I am in the same boat.While I may not get off from getting phucked without stimulating my clit during sex,and my g-spot can't be found without fingers,as it's "tucked up" deep thanks to a tilted uterus,( I assume) I still orgasm and know how to communicate with my partner to let him know it's OK that I don't come just because he has a d*ck,I don't blame him for my inability to do so, and he knows how I need to be stimulated in order to get off.

But for YEARS I thought something was terribly wrong with me because I never came during penetration,until I realized that the combo of penetration and a man OK with my rubbing one out while he was inside of me did the trick.

Whatever gets you off!
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 140
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/20/2014 4:02:02 PM
^ It's good that you had the communication and closeness to accomplish this.
 TVLD
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 141
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Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/24/2014 3:52:03 PM
Every girl needs to know what works for them and make sure they communicate with their partner on what he needs to do to make her cum. Obviously it is great when two people just “click” and results are great for both.
I have been with women who prefer to be “cow girl” more because they can control the “rub” …..and for me I like that position. Others like balls deep while they move in missionary position. Again each to their own.
When two people are climaxing together, that is the best in my opinion.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 143
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 1/27/2014 4:31:52 PM

Nah, it's because you can control the angle and depth to hit your spots the way you like it. There can also be more clit stimulation add to the sensations to make the orgasm more powerful.


Interesting notion. My partner almost had orgasms from being on top. She liked going slow, then faster, and getting a sense of control and what she liked being on top. She did not wanted clitoral stimulation because she said, it distracted her. Then to then please me, we went to me on top, and well at some point I am going all out not doing the hammer, but rather going very deep and hard, inhaling and then pounding again. Not too fast, not to slow, and then pow she had an orgasm. Totally vaginal. The only thing that was different was that rather than concentrate of the penetration, I concentrated on looking at her face, her expression, at her eyes opening then closing and turning. I think she was aware of this.
 WYN_INSP
Joined: 5/12/2014
Msg: 144
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/10/2014 2:38:57 PM
Bump a dump dump

La da da I wonder if the post is long enough now
 jar1184
Joined: 6/3/2014
Msg: 145
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/13/2014 10:54:30 PM
I can honestly say that I usually have no idea if the woman has cum or not, unless she's a squirter. In that case, it's pretty obvious. I actually don't like it women fake orgasm, because I like my woman to be honest!
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 146
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/18/2014 3:12:38 AM
If all you do is penetrate her,and you can't
Tell if she's come,she hasn't.

Some men can't handle the truth,so women
Lie so as not to bruise their egos.
Not my thing,but he better be able to handle
The truth cuz I'm gonna let him know
That d I c k is NOT gonna get me there!!!

Some women also don't feel comfortable
Telling a man what gets them off isn't penetration
Alone as that makes them seem "broken"
When in reality 75% of women never come
From penetration alone.

I can't fathom why you don't know if they
Orgasm when all you have to do is ask!

If they say no ask them what works for them,
Usually oral does the trick and then get down
There and lick it til they scream your name!!
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 147
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/18/2014 8:21:25 AM

woman to be honest!


A guy has a better chance of getting me off with my clothes on, than with them off. The feel of fabric on skin and rubbing is a lot more pleasurable than a rod that just goes in and out. It takes a lot of imagination to come off a rod, lol, the sh*t I have to imagine is totally bizarre. I have to imagine the foreplay before I even see you or do it myself, in order to be somewhat turned on and wet cause you know....you can't ever count on a man to try to turn you on. That's just the reality of things, very few men want to take their time actually turning you on, in order for it to be pleasurable, they think it gets wet automatically just out of the cheer joy of seeing you. Yeah, in the beginning this may work, because it's new and shiny, and exciting, but even that dies down after a few weeks.

Same goes for the rod, you have a better chance of getting me off just leaving the rod inside than moving it, lol. I can contract my way into an orgasm using my imagination, there is nothing exciting about moving it back and forth. Unless you find the spot that feels good for me, it is a waste of time and I'm just there hoping you'll somehow stumble on a good spot cause it's really boring when you don't, and I'm gonna fake it just for you to get off. You KNOW when you're doing something good, because it feels DIFFERENT, you feel the tightness, the body reaction, the breathing change, the embrace or hold on something, it's relaxed.

It goes to show why women aren't forming lines to get some d*ck, it's simply not satisfying, never guaranteed an orgasm, never guaranteed some foreplay or at least some form of treat before their perceived "treat", lol. You go into it all hot and bothered and come out just the same, just tired, lol.

It has nothing to do with desire or wanting to have sex, it has to do with the fact that it is complicated for women to orgasm from it alone, it may require imagination or finishing the job ourselves.

Good men are hard to find, but good d*ck....that's even more complicated, it's the kinda thing that would keep anyone in a relationship past it's healthy expiration date, because it's rare, lol.

Some people argue that communication in that department can make a difference, but you can't make someone who is inanimate, passionate, can't make someone who sees you as a hole, see you as anything more or someone who is selfish, into someone who is selfless. Some people just aren't the whole package and there is nothing you can do about it, but accept the good over the bad, and live with it.

Porn is giving men the idea that women just arrive ready to be poked, some don't even understand that it's just porn, they are acting like they are enjoying what they are doing. Men abhor chick flicks, when they should actually watch it and pay attention, as often the guys does what a women NEEDS him to do, and that's why he ends up with the girl. We know that some men want us to initiate, strip them down, act like we can't wait another second, want to blow you in a car, during commercials, or anywhere for that matter, that you want to be touched, caressed, kissed, desired, wear what you find us most sexy in, whisper our sexual desires, etc. We know this because we pay attention to what you like, but the opposite doesn't happen unless she's upset and you're not gonna get any, all of a sudden the day in the spa becomes an idea, flowers, a box of chocolate, taking her to her favorite restaurant, a little getaway, etc.

What you do outside of the bedroom matters just as much as what you do inside of it.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 148
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/18/2014 11:10:19 AM

Some people argue that communication in that department can make a difference, but you can't make someone who is inanimate, passionate, can't make someone who sees you as a hole, see you as anything more or someone who is selfish, into someone who is selfless.


I don't quite understand this statement. In the one side, I do believe that communication helps partners understand each other better and learn what turns them on, off, what works, does not work. What areas they want more interaction, passion, motion, commotion. However, as you said, if you are a cold fish in bed, nothing is going to change that. I had a couple of sexual partners like that. They were boring no matter what. And trying to change that was like spitting hairs. Yet there are other partners that there seems to be a magic that flows over the relationship that feeds the sex life intensely.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 149
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/18/2014 11:48:26 AM

if you are a cold fish in bed, nothing is going to change that. I had a couple of sexual partners like that. They were boring no matter what. And trying to change that was like spitting hairs. Yet there are other partners that there seems to be a magic that flows over the relationship that feeds the sex life intensely.


I second the motion! lol.

I often wonder if blood runs through these cold people, lol. But the ones who are alive and passionate, hot damn!
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 150
Orgasms from penetration alone
Posted: 6/18/2014 12:38:10 PM
A cold fish in bed? See how that got turned
around out of defensiveness because men love
honesty??? Lol

Your**** alone are not the magic wands you'd
Love to believe they are. They are there mainly
For your orgasms.

Fingers,tongues,and toys for us BEFORE you
Get off unless you are into cream pies is what
We need to come!
Anything less is just accommodation sex for
A mans orgasms sake.

Are you saying 75% of women are cold fish because
They don't orgasm from penetration alone?

Back in the day they called those very women
FRIGID!

WRONG! They were simply with men who
We're lead to believe there was something
Wrong with anyone but their effort and techniques!

Belletressor you said a mouthful about a handful
if valid points!


Now if 25% of women can come via penetration
Alone then you can assume you are getting
1 in 4 off with just your****

The rest go completely unsatisfied and become
"Cold fish" because they figure they are supposed
To come vaginally and give up on themselves
Because they have never had a penetration
Orgasm!

Wake those ladies up to the reality that you care
As much about HER ORGASM as your own
And show her that a real man is much more
Than his d I c k in bed!!!
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