Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do you believe in typical gender roles?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 26
Do you believe in typical gender roles?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I believe in typical gender roles, because gender roles didnt originate with people, it had always existed within nature. The thought that gender roles dont exist is purely a human idea and thought that goes against nature. It just is. Male and female.. and there are roles given to the two. Social contracts within these roles is what i believe people are really speaking on. with every species on earth there is a male and female and i think this divergence from sticking to each role has resulted in a rise of disasterous relationships between men and women. I will even go as far as saying in gay relationships, there are particular traits that same sex couples find themselves drawn to, that originate from men or from women.. this gave rise to butch and girly girl.
I believe op, that there are particular social contracts that exist between men and women that you dont find yourself relating to.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 27
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:23:05 PM
I believe in typical gender roles, because gender roles didnt originate with people, it had always existed within nature.


I agree with this , There are roles defined by nature that defy what a confused society would try to ferment
You can retrain apes to reverse roles ..but not without phuking up the whole troop.

This appears to be where we are at, in evolution... confused.!
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:28:10 PM
OP, my observation is this. Having known a few lesbians, I find it curious that (usually) one of them goes out of her way to dress, and look as much as possible like a man for the other. If the other was truly lesbian, I would expect both to be comfortable with each other being truly feminine, and not have to put on the facade of looking/acting male. It smacks of one of them being hetero, and the other doing everything in her power to BE male for her.

Just y observations though.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 29
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:36:49 PM
I agree with the othres don't look at gender roles but look at it from the point of view of teamwork. My grandmother was the one that did a lot of butchering livestock on the farm and carrying buckets of water 3 miles to the farm while my granfather was gathering fruits and vegetables (basically reversed gender roles on a farm). But they were a team and didn't matter who did what as long as the job was done and there was an agreement that it had to be done.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 30
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 8:48:09 PM
The problem with gender roles is that not everyone fits into them based on their gender. This creates dysfunction in relationships and causes a lot of people a lot of unhappiness.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 31
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:09:16 PM
I kind of like quite a bit of the old fashioned gender roles. I like being the softer more feminine one in the relationship and I like the man to be the stronger protective one. These roles, taken to extremes can also be very harmful. Since I spent 16 years of my life as the housewife/ mother and my husband was the traditional provider.. it worked well until his addiction destroyed the marriage. I learned to be the caretaker, self supporting single mom who is capable of taking care of everything, including fixing the dryer or the lawn mower. If i had to choose, I really liked being the housewife/mother, but I also like having a career. I think if I could have it my way, I would truly prefer having a strong husband and would settle comfortably in the supporting role as long as he was a real gentleman and knew the importance of mutual respect. I am all for women having equal rights and the right to choose whether or not she wants to be in the traditional role or one of her own making. JMHO
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 32
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:17:37 PM
happy-go-lucky_

I thhink I love you! A guy who gets it. :)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 33
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 9:26:18 PM
All this noble cheerleading for genders roles is nice, but when it comes down to online dating, the KISS principle still applies. Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Your online profile cannot possibly capture all the diverse nuances of being in a mutual relationship and exploring gender roles from many different angles - so DON'T. People are not looking for a Master's Dissertation - they're looking for a good conversation over dinner and some wine next Friday night.

Pick a direction, pick your passion, pick a goal - name it your profile - and then stick to it. Trying to be everything to everyone and everybody in here is a lost cause, and a waste of effort. Pandering to the most complex and lofty goals of society doesn't fare any better than pandering to the lowest common denominator of physical desires. You are somewhere in-between. FIND that spot, FIND that niche that YOU fit into rather well, and share it with the world.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 34
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 10:21:36 PM

Traditional gender roles" is simply a euphemism for yet another form of human bondage (no, not the fun kind).


I don't agree, because there is evidence that when the traditional gender roles has been dimished there are effects on society overall (whether it was worth it or not can be left up to debate). Italy for example had traditional gender roles between males and females for a long time. Women gaining independence was a good thing for the Italian economy short term as it increased the pool of workers it could draw from. But Italy, just like Europe and the United States/Western countries faces a long term dilemma, in that women in the workforce are more likely to have less or no children. Spending power is increased with couples that have few or no children in the short term, but long term it is hard to say what the reprecussions will be. But now there are less workers at the bottom to support the aging population at the top in major developed nations of the world and the young workers must compete with a larger pool of workers composing both male and female now.

The least developed countries on the other hand do have traditional gender roles but to the extreme other end in that women have little independence, but have many children while only the man works. The problem is obvious as they tend to be poorer and have less spending power. The traditional belief that having many children to help out with finances is starting to wane as a trend world wide.

Gender roles shouldn't be completely dismissed but a balanced approach is the best approach in my opinion. View it as teamwork, which is why if a man chooses to be a stay at home dad while the woman brings home the bacon it shouldn't matter in the grand scheme of things.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 35
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/21/2013 10:41:14 PM

Do you believe in typical gender roles?


Yes. I am the male,she is the female. end of role playing.

Your situation, arm wrestle over it or flip a coin, I have no answer.
 bluefish7070
Joined: 11/28/2012
Msg: 36
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:31:16 AM
1. know yourself.
2. be yourself.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 4:33:40 AM
I don't agree, because there is evidence that when the traditional gender roles has been dimished there are effects on society overall (whether it was worth it or not can be left up to debate). Italy for example had traditional gender roles between males and females for a long time. Women gaining independence was a good thing for the Italian economy short term as it increased the pool of workers it could draw from. But Italy, just like Europe and the United States/Western countries faces a long term dilemma, in that women in the workforce are more likely to have less or no children. Spending power is increased with couples that have few or no children in the short term, but long term it is hard to say what the reprecussions will be. But now there are less workers at the bottom to support the aging population at the top in major developed nations of the world and the young workers must compete with a larger pool of workers composing both male and female now.


This is another case of misreading the data. Essentially, you and/or the "study" you cite, want women to go home and cook. So you blame the entire financial collapse on women getting jobs.

What you missed entirely, is WHY women had to get jobs. That was not driven by a sudden wrong headedness on their part. It was driven by the way that the combination of the government and business power brokers decided to deal with changes in the economy. Couples HAVE TO have both members working, or they will not make it in the world today. The cost of living is high in the countries you describe, and the rate of pay for working class people (the bulk of society) is low, and getting lower, due to how those in charge deal with international competition (i.e. they work to KEEP the costs of living high, because that's how they make their money).

Same thing with your deluded version of why birth rates have fallen. That's not due to "failure to enforce traditional gender roles" either. It's economics, and technology. There have been times when having many children was good for the parents, economically. More hands to work the family business, more support in old age. But the way modern society has been structured economically, it is now a dreadful burden to have lots of children.

As I said, everything is interwoven. People really don't buzz along in life happily, look around and say to themselves "Everything is HEAVEN ON Earth!!! Wonderful! Okay, so let's upend it all, and throw life as we know it in the trash!!!"

Confusion about roles is a result, not a cause.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 38
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 4:55:30 AM
I have to disagree with all couples both have to work. Some just want to live beyond the means. How do you explain how single parents survive? Some of us do it without child support or the luxury of 2 paychecks and still manage middle class lives. I think SOME is due to people trying to live out of their true means. I do agree SOME couples both need to work just to eat.. but not all. I know many families where I live where only one person in the marriage works. They live nice upper middle class lives. No they wont be rich when they retire and no they wont keep their 4 bedroom home in the suburbs, but they do survive. Sometimes I think striving to have it all or get more things has created a great deal of the problem. I think women who want or need to work should absolutely have that right. I had to work after my divorce, but not to buy luxuries, just to live. However I survived not losing my home because we did not live above our one income means. Its just something to think about.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 39
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 5:05:43 AM
http://www.npr.org/2013/03/17/174301855/female-soldiers-face-tough-switch-from-front-lines-to-homefront

Gender roles ARE changing, whether people want them to, or not - this story aired on the radio this morning - I found it very interesting how women retired combat vets tend to WANT to transition AWAY from their military lives when they get back - to embrace the feminine again, wear dresses and stuff like that.

Female vets of active combat -their reaction IS going to be different than the traditional male roles, and we really don't know what that will clearly be - because this is still very new territory.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 40
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 6:51:23 AM

"Cross-cultural research suggests that there are no absolute personality differences between men and women, that many of the characteristics we normally classify as masculine or feminine tend to differentiate both the males and females in one culture from those in another, and in still other cultures to be the reverse of our expectations.

Margaret Mead's studies describe societies in which both men and women are gentle and nonaggressive (the Arapesh); in which women dislike childbearing and children and both sexes are angry and aggressive (the Mundugumor); in which women are unadorned, brisk and efficient, whether in childrearing, fishing, or marketing, while men are decorated and vain, interested in art, theater, and petty gossip (the Tchambuli)...."


http://becomingone.org/sexRole_3.htm#_1_2

I'd have to conclude that tis best to do as one feels/wishes, and look for a mate who can appreciate that.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 9:40:20 AM
This is another case of misreading the data. Essentially, you and/or the "study" you cite, want women to go home and cook. So you blame the entire financial collapse on women getting jobs.

What you missed entirely, is WHY women had to get jobs. That was not driven by a sudden wrong headedness on their part. It was driven by the way that the combination of the government and business power brokers decided to deal with changes in the economy. Couples HAVE TO have both members working, or they will not make it in the world today. The cost of living is high in the countries you describe, and the rate of pay for working class people (the bulk of society) is low, and getting lower, due to how those in charge deal with international competition (i.e. they work to KEEP the costs of living high, because that's how they make their money).

Same thing with your deluded version of why birth rates have fallen. That's not due to "failure to enforce traditional gender roles" either. It's economics, and technology. There have been times when having many children was good for the parents, economically. More hands to work the family business, more support in old age. But the way modern society has been structured economically, it is now a dreadful burden to have lots of children.

As I said, everything is interwoven. People really don't buzz along in life happily, look around and say to themselves "Everything is HEAVEN ON Earth!!! Wonderful! Okay, so let's upend it all, and throw life as we know it in the trash!!!"

Confusion about roles is a result, not a cause.


It is not a study that suggests women go back home and cook. The problem is society has to make the adjustment that women do belong in the workforce. A long way to go, and it will eventually even out I believe, but for now there is an imbalance.

Birth rates are falling because the average couple in modern, consumer driven society does not have many children as they use to. It is true that most western countries are not classified as agricultural societies economically rather they are industrial, industrial/technology or technology driven which is why the average number of kids per family unit has dropped. This probably explains why marriage rates are also dropping and why divorce rates are up in that, when you don't have children, you are more likely to split with a partner you are not a good fit with. Many couples often stay together until the children are grown and then divorce.

As for the need for two incomes for a household to make ends meet, that is true of today, but when women entered the workforce, standard of living and pay was still very good in the 60-70's in the U.S.

Traditional gender roles I don't think are bad, but I don't view it as a necessity either.
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 10:08:38 AM
Any man or woman who does not recognize and accept the differences between the genders is like a man or woman who expects a Turtle to fly,they will toss the poor thing into the and watch it hit the ground over and over again until the poor thing dies.
 grizzelda
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 43
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 10:26:32 AM
http://www.npr.org/2013/03/17/174301855/female-soldiers-face-tough-switch-from-front-lines-to-homefront

Gender roles ARE changing, whether people want them to, or not - this story aired on the radio this morning - I found it very interesting how women retired combat vets tend to WANT to transition AWAY from their military lives when they get back - to embrace the feminine again, wear dresses and stuff like that.

Female vets of active combat -their reaction IS going to be different than the traditional male roles, and we really don't know what that will clearly be - because this is still very new territory.


I will check this out but I will also suggest that since the military is such a hyper "male" system, that any thing less than always being in hyper, chest thumping competition mode would be awfully attractive. And we all know that we only see things as feminine or masculine, so wanting to be in anything other than that hyper, over compensatingly male mode is automatically labelled as feminine.

Again, this goes to my opinion that we still as a society still look at the traditional male way of doing things as the only and right way, and anything else is feminine and undersireable or weak.

All I can say is that I dont feel "feminine or masculine", I just feel like me. The only time that it comes up in conversation is when someone else is trying to pudh me into a box so they can label me....


It is not a study that suggests women go back home and cook. The problem is society has to make the adjustment that women do belong in the workforce. A long way to go, and it will eventually even out I believe, but for now there is an imbalance.


I truly think that the only adjustment being made here was by women only because many men still do not want to become part of the family team dynamic and help carry the load that comes with having children. So it wasnt about society adjusting, it was women avoiding the overwhelming responsibilty of 8-10 hours in the working world, the coming home for another 8-10 hours of their "other job".

I can only imagine how that was magnified in a classically traditional culture such as Italy, its no wonder many women said screw it, I am not going to put my self through that.
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 10:58:08 AM
One day at work i was carring one of those old 12' wooden ladders, a guy came running up to me and said
''put that down before you hurt your self''
I stopped and said
''relax, i worked on a construction crew, i can carry a damn ladder. I can probably pound nails faster then you can''
He glared at me, so i smiled and said ''want to find out?''
He walked away. Hehehe

But this is what ticks me off about assumed gender roles. He didn't know the first thing about me, but because i don't have a penis i couldn't possibily carry a heavy awkward ladder.
This BTW is only one of many stories i could tell.
 FletisHumplebacker
Joined: 2/8/2013
Msg: 45
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 11:09:42 AM
This day and age, only a fool rules out a penis. Maybe he thought you were struggling with the ladder, manly men carry them one handed, chin up and shoulders back. :)
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 11:44:06 AM
Well spitfiree

We are all different. I enjoy some hard physical work. I think it feels good to sweat and be tired and sore because i kicked azz all day. I get to look what i have done.

I don't use my pu$$y to get men to do it for me.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 47
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:03:52 PM
^^^I can do all those thing myself as well, its nice when a man offers to help, but I dont use sex to get things done. I think that can be a form of prostitution when you barter sex for other services isn't it? I personally think sex is awesome between two people who really care about each other, not a tool to be used or withheld to get "things" or your way. JMHO
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 48
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:10:12 PM
For myself not really. At points in my life I have been the tomboy, the girlie girl, and something inbetween. Locking yourself into any mold for the sake of a label only serves to stunt growth and development.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 49
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:24:17 PM

One day at work i was carring one of those old 12' wooden ladders, a guy came running up to me and said
''put that down before you hurt your self''
I stopped and said
''relax, i worked on a construction crew, i can carry a damn ladder. I can probably pound nails faster then you can''
He glared at me, so i smiled and said ''want to find out?''
He walked away. Hehehe


I work in a job where I'm often having to carry computers, monitors, shelves, desks,
chairs, storage boxes, etc. around.

Lots of times when I'm doing this, someone will come running over to help me. Sometimes I thank them
and tell them I'm okei, other times, I let them lighten the load.

There's nothing wrong with someone offering help.

I would never ridicule someone for offering to help me....even if it was because I was a woman.
I think stuff like that perpetuates the widening divide between men and women and gives guys just
another reason to resent "feminism."

But that's just my opinion.

I'm perfectly capable of doing lots of stuff, but I'm not opposed to help.
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/22/2013 12:51:04 PM
Browneyes,

He didn't say ''can I help you with that?'' that is different.

The last post didn't really come out right LOL!!
I meant i don't need things done for me because i have a pu$$y. ;)

I didn't mean trading favors for pu$$y. Heheheheh!
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do you believe in typical gender roles?