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 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 51
Do you believe in typical gender roles?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I understand your point, but even saying put that down before
you hurt yourself sounds like concern to me. I'd probably say
that to someone myself....male or female.

My point was, why ridicule him, egg him on, or challenge him to
a duel? Why not just say thanks but no thanks?
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 52
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:01:07 PM
''I understand your point, but even
saying put that down before
you hurt yourself sounds like concern
to me. I'd probably say
that to someone myself....male or
female.
My point was, why ridicule him, egg
him on, or challenge him to
a duel? Why not just say thanks but
no thanks?''

You can't be serious.
Some one scolds you like a child and you are going to say ''thanks but no thanks''

In what way did i ridicule HIM?

He did not say this nicely and I have had to put up with this kind of attitude before.

I think i handled it rather well since what i really wanted to say was '' shut the hell UP old fool''

I am too old to put up and shut up any more.

I was not struggling with the ladder BTW, but yes i did have to use two hands ;)

This guy did end up getting fired because of his attitude and it had nothing to do with me. I didn't go crying to the boss because he was a jerk, I just took care of it, cause i am a grown up.

I realise that women like me ruin it for women who want men to rescue them from doing any physical work.
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 53
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:05:10 PM
Gender is in your head, sex is what you like to do, and the roles are entirely up to the partners. Does your relationship need an overly masculine woman or an overly feminine woman? Do you need to live in a dichotomous relationship? Have you ever considered a little bit of both or a lot of both?
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 54
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:47:46 PM

I truly think that the only adjustment being made here was by women only because many men still do not want to become part of the family team dynamic and help carry the load that comes with having children. So it wasnt about society adjusting, it was women avoiding the overwhelming responsibilty of 8-10 hours in the working world, the coming home for another 8-10 hours of their "other job".

I can only imagine how that was magnified in a classically traditional culture such as Italy, its no wonder many women said screw it, I am not going to put my self through that.


I came to the same conclusion as well.
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 55
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/23/2013 7:01:52 PM

So, I guess the real question I am asking is, do you believe in typical(or in my case, not so typical) gender roles as it applies to my situation?


Maybe I'm just stating the obvious here but I believe that couples, gay or straight need to work together to find whatever balance that works for them. .... I echo what some other poster said about both sexes able to have a bit of each feminine & masculine qualities . ... Physiological nature of each sexes aside, society on a whole will typically assign, or label if you will, certain qualities as more "acceptable" or relative to each gender. .. Beyond that, you can argue about it til the cows come home -- at the end of the day what essentially matters is: You do whatever works for your relationship. .... I do not think there is inherently a more wrong or right way in going about with this.

Personally for myself I do not mind the "typical gender roles". ... I think when executed with mutual understanding, respect and appreciation of what each ppl brings to the table, this can work out beautifully. I do not think it's archaic, but perhaps a misunderstood and even dying way of life?? .... I love men who are handy around the house. I grew up with a dad and brothers who were just that. .. I appreciate the fact that my mom was an excellent stay-at-home mom until my siblings and I were of school-age. ... On the other hand, I do not think there is anything wrong if the woman is the one who brings home the bacon and the man is the one who makes the home either. Like I said, if it works for you, I don't see a need to be bothered so much by it. ~ JMO



 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 56
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/23/2013 7:33:46 PM

.I feel some jobs are meant more so for men..........and some more so for women.
I have no desire to be in the military.....digging ditches,plumber,climbing poles for cable or electric...


So the hard physical work ...belongs to men ..?! bullsheit ..!
this is why women out live us


''relax, i worked on a construction crew, i can carry a damn ladder. I can probably pound nails faster then you can''


Are you seriously bragging about carrying a ladder ?..
what would be great is if women didn't expect men to do physical work ...just because he's male
Are maybe women just want to religate heavy lifting to men , and hid behind their femininity
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 57
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/23/2013 8:39:17 PM
5 out of the last 6 men I dated....I ran circles around them when it came to being capable, hard working (including moving heavy objects) and active. 3 of em were younger than me....and by the condition of their health because of their laziness and lack of paying attention to their health...I will definitely outlive them, so how does that fit yer theory when it comes to women outliving men?? ^^^^
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 58
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 12:41:34 AM
I am amazed that there is an assignment for a gender roles in many cultures outside of what I was brought up. My late father, brothers, and all male cousins do cook, clean, and taking care of babies. I grew up with my choirs had to be rotated among us.....boys and girls. Only one thing has always stick out from my memory is how my parent teaching the boys to help us girls with any choirs that require a physical strength even it was not part of their assigned duties.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 59
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 6:10:15 AM
Hey Prince
Ya need to take a look at the research out there. Women on average live longer than men and the coorelations are: women tend to live healthier lifestyles than men. Men tend to avoid medical care whereas women tend to utilize medical care.
Women deal with stress better. We cry which is a proven stress reliever.
Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.

Yup there are exceptions out there but I'm talkng research and averages here, not exceptions.

I have worked in medical care for 39 years and I do pay attention to the research and I do see the evidence. For every widower out there there are at least 3 widows. Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 60
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:08:42 AM
No surprise that I do subscribe to gender roles.. women should be women and be more concerned about their nails than whether they can tote around a ladder ..

As men, we are in charge and provide the strength and security. When a woman is with me, she will feel secure because she is with me.. not the other way around. While some men and women might feel perfectly comfortable fitting into any role, I know I wouldn't.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 61
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:27:54 AM
op: Lesbians have a tendency to label themselves as either butch or femme.

In your position, I think I’d avoid those labels as much as possible. Most people occupy the vast middle ground between the two extremes and based on your profile I think you probably do too. Why risk spooking an otherwise likely candidate for dating with a label that doesn’t fit you anyway, specially when the number of available partners in your area is limited already?

There is some evidence, by the way, that partners who share freely in dominant and supportive roles (like decision-making or housework) tend to have happier, more stable and successful relationships. Makes sense to me.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 62
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:42:07 AM
Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has. .


This is just wrong . Men work in the hot sun , (skin cancer), in plants and hazardous conditions in far , far greater numbers than women

To say that long term exposures to work hazards has NO effect on life expectantcy is wrong

There is no study that can accurately measure this
But the one that best does,...IMO, is the men to women ratio with Mesothelioma..(exposure to asbestes)
women are less than 1% of all cases
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 63
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:56:20 AM
When research between two groups is done, the groups to be studied are selected to be as similar as possible. In other words factors like differences in jobs are filtered out. The two groups work in similar types of jobs. Then lifestyle is observed and differences are found. On average women live longer than men for the reasons I stated.
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 64
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:57:33 AM
Just because one does or does not have a belief in a system of gender identity does not alter the truth.
You may feel that reality can be ignored or manipulated but the consequences of that ignorance cannot be ignored. A man is a man and a woman is a woman and therefore to believe differently demonstrates ignorance of natural cosmic order. Everyone has an egoistic fantasy of uniqueness of differentness and disparages another's, that does not alter the fact that lesbians or homosexuals must become extinct through natural order, unless of course they choose to ignore that.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 65
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:16:40 AM

Then lifestyle is observed and differences are found.


Differences like , men's access to healthcare ..?
Currently, 2 out of every 3 dollars spent on healthcare ( pregnancy related costs excluded)
are spent on women ( U.S.)

My point is life expectancy is notjust because men live unhealthy lifestyles, or that women
are superior in dealing with stress. There are many , many factors , to zero in on just 2 or 3
of your choosing is just male bashing IMO
 ChefSteph71
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 66
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:20:38 AM
" Everyone has an egoistic fantasy of uniqueness of differences and disparages another's, that does not alter the fact that lesbians or homosexuals must become extinct through natural order, unless of course they choose to ignore that."

I have read every one of these posts and looked logically at everyone's responses, however dobbie101, I have to tell you that yours seems to be the most ignorant of all. Lesbians or homosexuals must become extinct through the natural order?? I must only assume that you fall under the category of a homophobic.

Why is it exactly that we should all become extinct? Is it a reproduction issue? I have children, I have reproduced and my children are the only good thing I took out of that experience. I am not male bashing by any means. I had a bad experience, but I also realize that the relationship I had was not of the norm. There are many wonderful men in this world, they are just not my desire. I have an ingrained attraction to a woman. Or maybe you think that homosexuality is just morally wrong? Homosexuality can be a moral issue only to the extent that it is a matter of choice. Scientific evidence shows that, in many cases, people don't choose their sexual orientations—it is in their natures to prefer sexual relations with members of the same sex, members of the opposite sex, or both. On the other hand, people can choose whether to act in accordance with their natures, and since sex is essential to man's life and happiness, this is a moral issue. It is morally right for people to act in accordance with their natures, whether heterosexual, homosexual, or anything in-between.

And an egotistic fantasy of uniqueness and differetness? Each of us as human being ARE made uniquely, and it is society that dictates our "sameness" in order to conform to what society deems is "normal". There are many ways that human beings are similar in biology, psychology, pathology, and even morphology. Yet there is something that is unique to the individual that cannot be reproduced. Some might call it their spirit, or their soul. Some might define it as the spark of the divine that is uniquely given to each of us. Some might call it an individual step forward in the evolutionary ladder of human growth through natural selection. Some might even just call it dumb luck of the material world and its laws of existence. In any of these cases, something makes you the only one of you that exists. When there is recognition that each human being is unique with his own unique set of capabilities, there is the ability to respect him for what he is. One reason you are ultimately separated from being even remotely like any other person is that no one has ever lived your specific life. The fact is, when you wake up tomorrow, you will be living a day that no one in humanity has ever seen before, in the context of your own current thoughts, and with a past few days and mood that no one else has ever had. You will have conversations with people that no one else has ever had. Every view you have as you look around you will be completely unexperienced by any other person ever. Nearly every aspect of your daily life, your thoughts, words, views, and moods, framed within your personal story and history, is utterly unique. Actually, the more thought I give it, the more unique everyone's life seems to be. All the words, facial expressions, and every intricate detail of every given.

So, do I choose to ignore my homosexuality? HELL NO!! I embrace it as the essence of who I am, just as you embrace your belief's, which makes you who you are. I do not ignore reality or manipulate it. I simply live my life as it suits me. I do not harm anyone or make expectations for anyone else to believe as I do. It is you doobie101 that has shown his ignorance, not I.
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 67
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:24:03 AM
Determining that my post was tantamount to denigrating a minority community is a considerable digression from what I actually wrote, let alone intended. My post was a response to my perception of gender roles within the general commonweal of man.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 68
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:26:32 AM
And insinuating that men live shorter lives because females are nothing more than, manipulating, helpless, little leeches, is not female bashing??

I was not bashing anyone Deere Rancher, simply stating what the research shows and how it is done,,,SMH
 ChefSteph71
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 69
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:37:23 AM
From what you actually wrote???? That lesbians and homosexuals must become extinct through the natural order? I think it came through loud and clear.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 70
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:15:23 PM
Cosmic order? Seems like virtually every species has a percentage of critters that self identify as gay. Humans have had twin gendered members for about as long. Often considered by their cultures as special and spiritual. I don't see any of them dying out any time soon. Perfectly hetero parents just keep producing them, generation after generation. . . .

The luxury of having roles to be played seems to me to be fairly new to anyone except the very richest of the rich. Mostly, just surviving took pretty much everything either sex had to offer. Serf wives and peasant wives pretty much everywhere and at all times were doing very similar back breaking work as their mates.

Do talents and abilities differ between the two sexes? Sure. In China, the rugs are knotted on hand looms, by women. The finished rugs are moved around, on fork lifts, by men. The men, BTW, are paid better. China, you my recall, is the place where they destroyed upper class girls feet, in aid of some poet once, thought a woman unsteady on her feet was sexy. Peasant girls had normal feet because they were needed to work.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 71
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/25/2013 7:13:58 AM
It really doesn't matter to me what roles people take on in their relationships.

It just makes no sense to me that someone wanting to help with a ladder was doing
it viciously and needed to be told in no uncertain terms his help was not needed and
oh by the way, I could probably best you in something else as well.

There are still some things I'd prefer help with, even if I can do it myself.
If I wanted to do everything myself, I'd move away from people.

And no, I don't trade myself for help, and I don't consider a man who thinks
carrying a ladder his job a threat to my femininity or ability to do things myself.

I just think there's a happy medium....without getting all pissy about it.
 ChefSteph71
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 72
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:49:13 AM
MsAlgonquin-
I have indeed been reading all the posts on this feed and while many of them were posted with much thought and wisdom, yours included, there were some that fit under your "disdain for stupidity in all its glorious forms", Very well put I might add. :) I agree completely with your assessment of my original post. Why the need to label ourselves? I think in all reality, it is I that pin the harshest of labels upon myself. You are correct though, it is unnecessary. A relationship should be about openness and honesty and about what each person brings into that relationship that makes it work. Thank you very much for your response. It was well taken, And as for most people not liking you for you many, as I see them, endearing qualities, their loss, not yours. I think that you and I would get along famously. :)
 Madailein
Joined: 6/9/2012
Msg: 73
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 2:36:04 AM

Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.
Yup there are exceptions out there but I'm talkng research and averages here, not exceptions.
I have worked in medical care for 39 years and I do pay attention to the research and I do see the evidence. For every widower out there there are at least 3 widows. Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.~ladywyatt~

Your research is flawed. Most assuredly longevity has to do with occupational hazards.
Is your job as dangerous as that of a fireman, cop, construction worker or military serviceman? Of course not. Why is it that you will not give credit where credit is do? Think about that.


Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.

Not to your mentality. But to researchers who acknowledge that walking on a beam or operating a crane or drawing a firearm or climbing a cherry picker or engaging in combat are not synonymous with picking up a pencil or changing bed sheets;…it has an enormous realistic impact as to why there are more women than men from about twenty years of age onward.


One day at work i was carring one of those old 12' wooden ladders, a guy came running up to me and said
''put that down before you hurt your self''
I stopped and said ''relax, i worked on a construction crew, i can carry a damn ladder. I can probably pound nails faster then you can''
He glared at me, so i smiled and said ''want to find out?''
He walked away. Hehehe~ksayer1

The guy was trying to be a gentleman. Unfortunately, you cannot appreciate this.


Lesbians have a tendency to label themselves as either butch or femme. ..
I find it very confusing …to accurately portray myself as fitting into either of these categories. ..
So, I guess the real question I am asking is, do you believe in typical(or in my case, not so typical) gender roles …

What we believe is irrelevant as you are the one with the identity crises.
Some Lesbians have gender specific identify roles; you know this.
Choose the one, or not, that is you. You know it is that simple.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 74
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 8:52:37 AM
Let me spell it out for you....

If you take 100 men and 100 women all with similar type of jobs (ZERO high risk jobs) and take those who die as a result of an accident or suicide out of the study, study them for longevity, on average, the women will outlive the men.
I am talking of death by natural causes.

Get it?
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 75
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 9:25:10 AM
Ladtwyatt is right BTW.

They did a big study on this. Where did they get the data? From preists and nuns. They live an extremely similar life style.

Yes the nuns lived longer, however they can't explain why.
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