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 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 59
Do you believe in typical gender roles?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Hey Prince
Ya need to take a look at the research out there. Women on average live longer than men and the coorelations are: women tend to live healthier lifestyles than men. Men tend to avoid medical care whereas women tend to utilize medical care.
Women deal with stress better. We cry which is a proven stress reliever.
Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.

Yup there are exceptions out there but I'm talkng research and averages here, not exceptions.

I have worked in medical care for 39 years and I do pay attention to the research and I do see the evidence. For every widower out there there are at least 3 widows. Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 60
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:08:42 AM
No surprise that I do subscribe to gender roles.. women should be women and be more concerned about their nails than whether they can tote around a ladder ..

As men, we are in charge and provide the strength and security. When a woman is with me, she will feel secure because she is with me.. not the other way around. While some men and women might feel perfectly comfortable fitting into any role, I know I wouldn't.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 61
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:27:54 AM
op: Lesbians have a tendency to label themselves as either butch or femme.

In your position, I think I’d avoid those labels as much as possible. Most people occupy the vast middle ground between the two extremes and based on your profile I think you probably do too. Why risk spooking an otherwise likely candidate for dating with a label that doesn’t fit you anyway, specially when the number of available partners in your area is limited already?

There is some evidence, by the way, that partners who share freely in dominant and supportive roles (like decision-making or housework) tend to have happier, more stable and successful relationships. Makes sense to me.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 62
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:42:07 AM
Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has. .


This is just wrong . Men work in the hot sun , (skin cancer), in plants and hazardous conditions in far , far greater numbers than women

To say that long term exposures to work hazards has NO effect on life expectantcy is wrong

There is no study that can accurately measure this
But the one that best does,...IMO, is the men to women ratio with Mesothelioma..(exposure to asbestes)
women are less than 1% of all cases
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 63
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:56:20 AM
When research between two groups is done, the groups to be studied are selected to be as similar as possible. In other words factors like differences in jobs are filtered out. The two groups work in similar types of jobs. Then lifestyle is observed and differences are found. On average women live longer than men for the reasons I stated.
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 64
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:57:33 AM
Just because one does or does not have a belief in a system of gender identity does not alter the truth.
You may feel that reality can be ignored or manipulated but the consequences of that ignorance cannot be ignored. A man is a man and a woman is a woman and therefore to believe differently demonstrates ignorance of natural cosmic order. Everyone has an egoistic fantasy of uniqueness of differentness and disparages another's, that does not alter the fact that lesbians or homosexuals must become extinct through natural order, unless of course they choose to ignore that.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 65
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:16:40 AM

Then lifestyle is observed and differences are found.


Differences like , men's access to healthcare ..?
Currently, 2 out of every 3 dollars spent on healthcare ( pregnancy related costs excluded)
are spent on women ( U.S.)

My point is life expectancy is notjust because men live unhealthy lifestyles, or that women
are superior in dealing with stress. There are many , many factors , to zero in on just 2 or 3
of your choosing is just male bashing IMO
 ChefSteph71
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 66
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:20:38 AM
" Everyone has an egoistic fantasy of uniqueness of differences and disparages another's, that does not alter the fact that lesbians or homosexuals must become extinct through natural order, unless of course they choose to ignore that."

I have read every one of these posts and looked logically at everyone's responses, however dobbie101, I have to tell you that yours seems to be the most ignorant of all. Lesbians or homosexuals must become extinct through the natural order?? I must only assume that you fall under the category of a homophobic.

Why is it exactly that we should all become extinct? Is it a reproduction issue? I have children, I have reproduced and my children are the only good thing I took out of that experience. I am not male bashing by any means. I had a bad experience, but I also realize that the relationship I had was not of the norm. There are many wonderful men in this world, they are just not my desire. I have an ingrained attraction to a woman. Or maybe you think that homosexuality is just morally wrong? Homosexuality can be a moral issue only to the extent that it is a matter of choice. Scientific evidence shows that, in many cases, people don't choose their sexual orientations—it is in their natures to prefer sexual relations with members of the same sex, members of the opposite sex, or both. On the other hand, people can choose whether to act in accordance with their natures, and since sex is essential to man's life and happiness, this is a moral issue. It is morally right for people to act in accordance with their natures, whether heterosexual, homosexual, or anything in-between.

And an egotistic fantasy of uniqueness and differetness? Each of us as human being ARE made uniquely, and it is society that dictates our "sameness" in order to conform to what society deems is "normal". There are many ways that human beings are similar in biology, psychology, pathology, and even morphology. Yet there is something that is unique to the individual that cannot be reproduced. Some might call it their spirit, or their soul. Some might define it as the spark of the divine that is uniquely given to each of us. Some might call it an individual step forward in the evolutionary ladder of human growth through natural selection. Some might even just call it dumb luck of the material world and its laws of existence. In any of these cases, something makes you the only one of you that exists. When there is recognition that each human being is unique with his own unique set of capabilities, there is the ability to respect him for what he is. One reason you are ultimately separated from being even remotely like any other person is that no one has ever lived your specific life. The fact is, when you wake up tomorrow, you will be living a day that no one in humanity has ever seen before, in the context of your own current thoughts, and with a past few days and mood that no one else has ever had. You will have conversations with people that no one else has ever had. Every view you have as you look around you will be completely unexperienced by any other person ever. Nearly every aspect of your daily life, your thoughts, words, views, and moods, framed within your personal story and history, is utterly unique. Actually, the more thought I give it, the more unique everyone's life seems to be. All the words, facial expressions, and every intricate detail of every given.

So, do I choose to ignore my homosexuality? HELL NO!! I embrace it as the essence of who I am, just as you embrace your belief's, which makes you who you are. I do not ignore reality or manipulate it. I simply live my life as it suits me. I do not harm anyone or make expectations for anyone else to believe as I do. It is you doobie101 that has shown his ignorance, not I.
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 67
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:24:03 AM
Determining that my post was tantamount to denigrating a minority community is a considerable digression from what I actually wrote, let alone intended. My post was a response to my perception of gender roles within the general commonweal of man.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 68
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:26:32 AM
And insinuating that men live shorter lives because females are nothing more than, manipulating, helpless, little leeches, is not female bashing??

I was not bashing anyone Deere Rancher, simply stating what the research shows and how it is done,,,SMH
 ChefSteph71
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 69
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:37:23 AM
From what you actually wrote???? That lesbians and homosexuals must become extinct through the natural order? I think it came through loud and clear.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 70
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/24/2013 4:15:23 PM
Cosmic order? Seems like virtually every species has a percentage of critters that self identify as gay. Humans have had twin gendered members for about as long. Often considered by their cultures as special and spiritual. I don't see any of them dying out any time soon. Perfectly hetero parents just keep producing them, generation after generation. . . .

The luxury of having roles to be played seems to me to be fairly new to anyone except the very richest of the rich. Mostly, just surviving took pretty much everything either sex had to offer. Serf wives and peasant wives pretty much everywhere and at all times were doing very similar back breaking work as their mates.

Do talents and abilities differ between the two sexes? Sure. In China, the rugs are knotted on hand looms, by women. The finished rugs are moved around, on fork lifts, by men. The men, BTW, are paid better. China, you my recall, is the place where they destroyed upper class girls feet, in aid of some poet once, thought a woman unsteady on her feet was sexy. Peasant girls had normal feet because they were needed to work.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 71
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/25/2013 7:13:58 AM
It really doesn't matter to me what roles people take on in their relationships.

It just makes no sense to me that someone wanting to help with a ladder was doing
it viciously and needed to be told in no uncertain terms his help was not needed and
oh by the way, I could probably best you in something else as well.

There are still some things I'd prefer help with, even if I can do it myself.
If I wanted to do everything myself, I'd move away from people.

And no, I don't trade myself for help, and I don't consider a man who thinks
carrying a ladder his job a threat to my femininity or ability to do things myself.

I just think there's a happy medium....without getting all pissy about it.
 ChefSteph71
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 72
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/26/2013 6:49:13 AM
MsAlgonquin-
I have indeed been reading all the posts on this feed and while many of them were posted with much thought and wisdom, yours included, there were some that fit under your "disdain for stupidity in all its glorious forms", Very well put I might add. :) I agree completely with your assessment of my original post. Why the need to label ourselves? I think in all reality, it is I that pin the harshest of labels upon myself. You are correct though, it is unnecessary. A relationship should be about openness and honesty and about what each person brings into that relationship that makes it work. Thank you very much for your response. It was well taken, And as for most people not liking you for you many, as I see them, endearing qualities, their loss, not yours. I think that you and I would get along famously. :)
 Madailein
Joined: 6/9/2012
Msg: 73
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 2:36:04 AM

Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.
Yup there are exceptions out there but I'm talkng research and averages here, not exceptions.
I have worked in medical care for 39 years and I do pay attention to the research and I do see the evidence. For every widower out there there are at least 3 widows. Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.~ladywyatt~

Your research is flawed. Most assuredly longevity has to do with occupational hazards.
Is your job as dangerous as that of a fireman, cop, construction worker or military serviceman? Of course not. Why is it that you will not give credit where credit is do? Think about that.


Women live longer than men. Has nothing to do with what type of jobs either has.

Not to your mentality. But to researchers who acknowledge that walking on a beam or operating a crane or drawing a firearm or climbing a cherry picker or engaging in combat are not synonymous with picking up a pencil or changing bed sheets;…it has an enormous realistic impact as to why there are more women than men from about twenty years of age onward.


One day at work i was carring one of those old 12' wooden ladders, a guy came running up to me and said
''put that down before you hurt your self''
I stopped and said ''relax, i worked on a construction crew, i can carry a damn ladder. I can probably pound nails faster then you can''
He glared at me, so i smiled and said ''want to find out?''
He walked away. Hehehe~ksayer1

The guy was trying to be a gentleman. Unfortunately, you cannot appreciate this.


Lesbians have a tendency to label themselves as either butch or femme. ..
I find it very confusing …to accurately portray myself as fitting into either of these categories. ..
So, I guess the real question I am asking is, do you believe in typical(or in my case, not so typical) gender roles …

What we believe is irrelevant as you are the one with the identity crises.
Some Lesbians have gender specific identify roles; you know this.
Choose the one, or not, that is you. You know it is that simple.
 ladywyatt
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 74
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 8:52:37 AM
Let me spell it out for you....

If you take 100 men and 100 women all with similar type of jobs (ZERO high risk jobs) and take those who die as a result of an accident or suicide out of the study, study them for longevity, on average, the women will outlive the men.
I am talking of death by natural causes.

Get it?
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 75
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 9:25:10 AM
Ladtwyatt is right BTW.

They did a big study on this. Where did they get the data? From preists and nuns. They live an extremely similar life style.

Yes the nuns lived longer, however they can't explain why.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 76
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 10:19:50 AM
I'm still trying to figure out what the hell life expectancy has to do with gender roles... this is an online dating site, where dealing with the PRESENT condition of relationships is pretty much the call of the day.

You can't take it with you, and since you have no freakin' idea how long you will actually live, maybe you should worry more about what you CAN DO HERE AND NOW - not who 'wins' in the end. I guess the saying 'People would rather be dead than dead wrong.' seems to be at play here. Using the future to prove your point is like promising you know what the next lottery numbers will be - you might be right, but everybody knows you're guessing.
 ksayer1
Joined: 1/1/2013
Msg: 77
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/27/2013 12:22:29 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Hahahahahahaha hehehehehhe

Reality, now you done it. The catholics are gonna get plst!!

Ps, i didn't read it all either just have weird info in my head to put out there lol!!
 DudeistPriest
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 78
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:39:59 AM
I do not believe in the "normal " assignment of gender based roles within a relationship. If that is what works in a particular relationship and the individuals involved, I don't have any issues with that. But for me, no. I would be perfectly happy doing the John and Yoko thing. (Yes I know that analogy is not an accurate depiction of their actual relationship but is what people accept as a liable for that trope)
If you are not comfortable with either the Butch or Femme lable, don't wear them.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 79
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 4:10:49 AM
As chance has it, I have been friends with many women-who-love-women, and I have not even ONCE heard one of them describe themselves or their partners as "butch" or Femme," except when participating in some sort of discussion where those terms were established by the people who started things up.

I think it's related in a conceptual way, that I have also never heard a couple argue between themselves about obeying "typical gender roles," until AFTER those labels were suggested from the outside, as a way to frame the arguments they were really having.

My point is, that reality (what we are actually going through and dealing with), while it is usually clarified by way of careful discussion and consideration...can just as easily confused by establishing labels, if those labels carry too much "baggage" with them. And I do think that the term "typical gender roles" has multiple steamer trunks of baggage associated with it.

A lot of the time, the problems people are dealing with are made worse, rather than better, by requiring the people to answer not only to each other, but to society at large, before an agreement can be made.

This adds to my encouragement that we deal with specifics and tasks, rather than such broadly labeled things as "gender roles."
 mrcs84
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 80
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:28:09 AM

If you take 100 men and 100 women all with similar type of jobs (ZERO high risk jobs) and take those who die as a result of an accident or suicide out of the study, study them for longevity, on average, the women will outlive the men. I am talking of death by natural causes.


Do you have any actual sources to cite? You know..a little more intellectual vigor than "the research out there."


They did a big study on this. Where did they get the data? From preists and nuns. They live an extremely similar life style.


Same goes to you. Who is "they?" And why not pick two jobs that -are- the same instead of two jobs that are -mostly- the same?
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 81
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:49:05 PM
A lesbian comedienne said it best years ago: "What's the point of being a lesbian if you're going to look and act like an imitation man."

I would think depending on a woman's personality traits she would instinctively assume one of the roles. But women usually assume a dominant role in any houshold so that could be an "issue" in a lesbian relationship.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 82
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 4:19:25 PM
Some great posts on this thread, what can I add, do what makes you happy and don't worry about those that want to label you, you only have one life so live it too the fullest. I don't adhere to gender roles, I made a decision long ago not to have children, just wasn't for me and took alot of grief for it over the years but it was the right choice for me and I can say I live a pretty good life. Look for someone that compliments your personality, has similar values and is compatible, ignore the rest, they have no effect on your happiness only you do. Ignore the ones that want you to conform to their version of what "normal" is, I've always believed we have a yin-yang in life, find your balance.
 jamie_lee_1963
Joined: 3/27/2013
Msg: 83
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/31/2013 9:47:17 AM
I believe that we affix roles to gender as we see fit.

Is cooking a role that is only associated with women?

No, of course not. There would be a lot of men starving and eating food out of garbage cans if that were the case.

'We' (society, religions, etc) will grab onto something because 'we' are comfortable with it (or some other reason). Heck, we all know god is man - right?

People need to open their minds and to let others live their lives.

Gender 'roles' are whatever you make of them.
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