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Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 78
Do you believe in typical gender roles?Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I do not believe in the "normal " assignment of gender based roles within a relationship. If that is what works in a particular relationship and the individuals involved, I don't have any issues with that. But for me, no. I would be perfectly happy doing the John and Yoko thing. (Yes I know that analogy is not an accurate depiction of their actual relationship but is what people accept as a liable for that trope)
If you are not comfortable with either the Butch or Femme lable, don't wear them.
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 79
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 4:10:49 AM
As chance has it, I have been friends with many women-who-love-women, and I have not even ONCE heard one of them describe themselves or their partners as "butch" or Femme," except when participating in some sort of discussion where those terms were established by the people who started things up.

I think it's related in a conceptual way, that I have also never heard a couple argue between themselves about obeying "typical gender roles," until AFTER those labels were suggested from the outside, as a way to frame the arguments they were really having.

My point is, that reality (what we are actually going through and dealing with), while it is usually clarified by way of careful discussion and consideration...can just as easily confused by establishing labels, if those labels carry too much "baggage" with them. And I do think that the term "typical gender roles" has multiple steamer trunks of baggage associated with it.

A lot of the time, the problems people are dealing with are made worse, rather than better, by requiring the people to answer not only to each other, but to society at large, before an agreement can be made.

This adds to my encouragement that we deal with specifics and tasks, rather than such broadly labeled things as "gender roles."
Joined: 12/9/2008
Msg: 80
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:28:09 AM

If you take 100 men and 100 women all with similar type of jobs (ZERO high risk jobs) and take those who die as a result of an accident or suicide out of the study, study them for longevity, on average, the women will outlive the men. I am talking of death by natural causes.

Do you have any actual sources to cite? You know..a little more intellectual vigor than "the research out there."

They did a big study on this. Where did they get the data? From preists and nuns. They live an extremely similar life style.

Same goes to you. Who is "they?" And why not pick two jobs that -are- the same instead of two jobs that are -mostly- the same?
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 81
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:49:05 PM
A lesbian comedienne said it best years ago: "What's the point of being a lesbian if you're going to look and act like an imitation man."

I would think depending on a woman's personality traits she would instinctively assume one of the roles. But women usually assume a dominant role in any houshold so that could be an "issue" in a lesbian relationship.
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 82
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Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/29/2013 4:19:25 PM
Some great posts on this thread, what can I add, do what makes you happy and don't worry about those that want to label you, you only have one life so live it too the fullest. I don't adhere to gender roles, I made a decision long ago not to have children, just wasn't for me and took alot of grief for it over the years but it was the right choice for me and I can say I live a pretty good life. Look for someone that compliments your personality, has similar values and is compatible, ignore the rest, they have no effect on your happiness only you do. Ignore the ones that want you to conform to their version of what "normal" is, I've always believed we have a yin-yang in life, find your balance.
Joined: 3/27/2013
Msg: 83
Do you believe in typical gender roles?
Posted: 3/31/2013 9:47:17 AM
I believe that we affix roles to gender as we see fit.

Is cooking a role that is only associated with women?

No, of course not. There would be a lot of men starving and eating food out of garbage cans if that were the case.

'We' (society, religions, etc) will grab onto something because 'we' are comfortable with it (or some other reason). Heck, we all know god is man - right?

People need to open their minds and to let others live their lives.

Gender 'roles' are whatever you make of them.
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