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 RB_64
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 20
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How long has it been?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Some questions don't deserve answers. I don't mind discussing sex in general because I believe sexual compatibility is critical. But details? Really? When, where, who, how, why......no, not happening.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 21
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How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 3:58:27 PM
These sound like boys and not real men!! Why would I ask you that early on in the getting to know each other part? Most women that are somewhat insecure or just starting to date again, may bring that part up on their own, but it will not come from me!

I am much more concerned about how clean and healthy you are, when the time is right to be sexual, and that the both of us can prove it, or be tested together......then and only then, might it be appropriate to ask if one has been away from sex for some time or not.......and that should be stated by each without needing to be asked by the other.

cd
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 22
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:29:00 PM
Depends... HOW early are we talking?

I mean, in cases where you haven't met yet, or you're on a first date, yeah, it's inappropriate. But beyond that, I don't know what "very early" means to you.

If you're at a point where it's looking like you're going to keep seeing each other, and there's a definite whiff (or even a whomp) of mutual attraction, this is information you both need about each other because of incubation periods. Presumably you'll both want to get physical at some point. Nothing offensive in having some sense about sex.

This may be what the asker was really getting at. 'Cause you're right, it isn't a necessary question in order to determine someone's general attitudes about sex.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 23
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 4:54:06 PM
If I had already had sex five hours before going on a date with another girl, I'm not sure how motivated I'd actually be to go out on a date.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 24
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 7:17:06 PM

I've never asked but I had a women tell me once it had been so long she had forgotten what one looked like...


Know watcha mean.
It's been so long, I've forgotten who gets tied up.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 25
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How long has it been?
Posted: 3/23/2013 7:36:53 PM
I've had a lot of women ask me the same thing over the years. It didn't offend me because its not something I see a reason to get offended over. There are bigger issues in my life than some silly question on a date.
 afitdancer
Joined: 8/30/2012
Msg: 26
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 8:10:32 AM
A gentleman would never ask. It is not important.
^^^^^^^ please note ...I said a gentleman
 SouthernNYyankee
Joined: 2/13/2013
Msg: 27
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 9:27:26 AM
I agree. At least not at that point in the relationship. It was 2 dates... 1st meeting was over breakfast. 2nd was at his residence and that didn't work out well. Just started talking again and then he asked the question.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 28
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How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:13:37 AM
OP ..he's waiting to hear .. "I do my kegels everyday , but haven't had sex in 3 years ..!"jk

Its just rude , and frankly none of his bussiness
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 29
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:19:09 AM
+1 Whiskey.. I find there is a nice way to address this topic and a "I want to talk about sex to see how quick I can get into your pants" In a good relationship, there is flirting but not blatant steers to one topic. I think its pretty easy to see the difference. if a relationship is good, it will become sexual. There is no need to ask questions about casual sex, except if that is what you are looking for.If a man is constantly steering the conversation in one direction, its enough for me to say see ya. If he has no interest in anything else about me, I have ZERO interest in him. JMHO
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 30
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 10:29:23 AM
op: I was told that's how he judges character. He doesn't want to be involved with someone who looks as sex in a casual manner.

Ha – this made me smile. Goes to show how different we all are. I suppose they could be right – some guys could ask for that reason. I would have thought he asked because he wanted to gauge your skin hunger and how much you missed being touched. But there’s probably other ways.
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 31
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How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 11:21:04 AM
Southern, girl that's all men want of course that is their first question and thought from the moment they get up in the morning to they go to bed at night. They want to make sure you'll be screwing them often enough, if not they will find some horny broad who will!

If a guy asked me sex questions, I wouldn't be surprised at all. I would be surprised if one didn't ask.

Jan
 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 32
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 11:33:24 AM
A gentleman would never ask. It is not important.

Yes it is.

If it's been sufficiently long for both of you, and both your test results are negative, you can omit the latex portion of the physical festivities.

Don't tell me that isn't important!

However, as I said earlier, it does matter HOW early we're talking about, here. Obviously if someone's asking when there's no reason yet to think there are going to be any festivities, that is out of order.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 33
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 12:40:13 PM
Yanno ... I guess I WOULD like to know if the person I'm starting to see had a F Buddy.
I just want to know if we are on equal footing as we begin to get to know each other.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 34
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 12:49:31 PM
Dating in it's entirety is a test of character. Most women would judge a mans character just for asking such questions upfront & blow them off. Not exactly rocket science knowing what is & isn't appropriate.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 35
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 1:06:08 PM

Why do guys ask that sometimes during the first conversation or at least very early?


If I get asked that right off the cuff.....it tells me EXACTLY what the guy is looking for.


what difference does it make in getting to know someone?


It doesn't make any difference at all - it's nobody's business the last time a person got laid.


I was told that's how he judges character. He doesn't want to be involved with someone who looks as sex in a casual manner........


Well.....my built in B.S. Detector tells me that if that is how a man judges a woman's character, it tells me he is after nothing more than an easy lay then he'll move on and look for his next victim.

Pretty simple. - You have to learn how to read between the lines out here.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 36
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 1:49:58 PM
+1 Ro.. I guess some men think we are incredibly stupid. Any intelligent human knows in a good solid relationship question such as that are not necessary and are quite telling of the one who asked them. IMHO
 DixieGeorgia
Joined: 10/3/2011
Msg: 37
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:02:42 PM
Simply respond : "Why do you want to know?"
 AstroCat505
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 38
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 2:08:53 PM
Although I never ask, because it really doesn't cross my mind that early in an encounter, I have had numerous women ask me the very question on first meets. Somehow this makes it a double standard matter. I don't get bothered by the question and answer truthfully, and then I ask the question in return to their inquiry. It is what it is...
 vosche
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 39
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/24/2013 3:05:32 PM
easy..its a trick question used to classify you as prude or too easy..either way you lose since he's using it to do 2 things at the same time: 1)find a reason to dismiss you as dating material (noted by the grading thats designed to make you fail by default) and 2) use the opportunity to treat you like some kind of online hooker so he can justify asking/getting sex from you. oh sure it seems like an innocent question and you'll both laugh when he asks...but when its all played out you're the one thats left wondering wtf happened when you notice the communication levels dip...so to the people who say the time frame it takes you to bed someone has an impact on forming a relationship are full of crap. the person is either looking for something long term or not...has nothing to do with how soon you have sex with someone.
 yoursecretgirlfriend
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 40
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/27/2013 4:47:25 PM
Wow... Never had a guy ask that. That would be pretty gutsy!
I have been asked "How long do you wait to have sex when you're dating someone?". My standard answer was three months (actually a lot less LOL). But that response weeds out LOTS of guys. I have never made a guy wait the full three months, but if they weren't WILLING to then forget them.

If I did get that question I would turn it around on him! Because if I hear that it has been anywhere above 6 months I wonder "What's wrong with him?". To me it would tell me a lot more about the guy than it would tell the guy about me.

And honestly if a woman goes more than a few months then she's just not trying! LOL. So that might be a red flag to a guy come to think of it!
 hotlikker4u
Joined: 9/10/2009
Msg: 41
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/27/2013 5:04:05 PM
LMFAO!!!!!!! You GO, girl!!!!! I was thinking of one not quite so funny, but you slam-dunked THAT one! He SO RICHLY DESERVES THAT!
 strongrr
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 42
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/28/2013 5:10:17 PM
Guys arent the only one asking that on first dates..my buddy was asked that and said" bout fifteen mins before I met you..what you thinking for dessert?"
 mistish
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 43
How long has it been?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:36:35 PM
iI totally agree!!!
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 44
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How long has it been?
Posted: 3/29/2013 2:50:31 PM
"And honestly if a woman goes more than a few months then she's just not trying! LOL."

What about if she hasn't meet anyone that she hasn't said yes to a date to, because she wasn't interested in those who asked?

" So that might be a red flag to a guy come to think of it!"

Must be! I have had two guys lately block me because I said I haven't dated in a while. Didn't even get a chance to add that I haven't been interested in those who ask.

Imo, those who just date anyone or just from one bad relationship to another aren't people I want to date.
Boring! Who dates just anybody?
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