Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dealing with cigarette smoke      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 101
Dealing with cigarette smokePage 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

she is now bending over backwards to try and make it work despite the fact that smoking is a "deal breaker".

That is not exactly true. He told her he was on the e-cig and she is holding him to that. If he smokes, she will indeed enforce the deal breaker.
 Advwench
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 102
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:17:17 AM

That is not exactly true. He told her he was on the e-cig and she is holding him to that. If he smokes, she will indeed enforce the deal breaker.


Thanks for getting it, Stubidooo. That's it exactly.
Funny thing is... had I dumped his ass without a word, I'd be the **** who doesn't give nice guys a chance.
 Jackals38
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 103
view profile
History
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:23:19 AM

That is not exactly true. He told her he was on the e-cig and she is holding him to that. If he smokes, she will indeed enforce the deal breaker.


This is the quote from the OP:

"His match.com profile didn't say anything about smoking (didn't specify either way) and I enjoyed our conversations so much, I didn't even think to ask until we had our first meet up planned and I was already excited about it."

So he did, in fact, lie in the profile and didn't even tell her about the e-cigs until after they met in person, which is precisely my point. Also, if you read the update by the OP, the e-cigs was also a lie as well because apparently he "couldn't be bothered to refill them".

Ultimately yes, she may stick to her guns and break up with him because of the smoking. However, the point remains that had he been truthful about it in his profile, she never would have agreed to meet him in the first place. By lying about it, the OP made all sorts of concessions (by her own admission) that she never normally would have.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 104
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:27:10 AM
While some can handle occasional smokes, it IS addictive. I'm a smoker and wish I could have one or two a day, not more...

From Wikipedia:
"According to the American Heart Association, nicotine addiction has historically been one of the hardest addictions to break, while the pharmacological and behavioral characteristics that determine tobacco addiction are similar to those determining addiction to heroin and cocaine."

Tolerance is negotiable but addiction is a fact, even if some don't get hooked. I can handle alcohol while others get addicted. I'm not disputing that either.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 105
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:41:51 AM

and didn't even tell her about the e-cigs until after they met in person, which is precisely my point

Then your point isn't worth squat because if you had continued with the OP quote:

He told me he does smoke but is trying to quit and mostly smokes e-cigarettes. I decided to go ahead and meet him because by all accounts, e-cigs aren't SO bad
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 106
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 11:53:55 AM
Ok you know what you guys are just plain evil i swear I will tell you for a fact that smoking does not make you a addict drugs make you a addict like cocaine herion shit like that gawd act your age really


Is this a joke? Just because its LEGAL doesn't mean its not a DRUG. If you can't stop taking it, then you're ADDICTED. Really?

You're taking this too personally. People are allowed to call things as they see them. They're not evil for it, they're just being honest. There's not much we can do if you don't like reality. *shrug* We all have flaws; we just happen to be talking about this one. And frankly, smoking isn't seen as a flaw by everyone. There are plenty of guys and girls who don't have a problem with it.
 Jackals38
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 107
view profile
History
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 12:05:22 PM
Then your point isn't worth squat because if you had continued with the OP quote:


I guess reading comprehension isn't your strong suit. Lying by omission is still lying. He didn't even answer the smoking question at all, which is disingenuous at the very least. And if you had read the update posts, he also LIED about smoking e cigs as well or are you naive enough to buy the "i couldn't be bothered to refill them" excuse? She liked him, so she overlooked it. End of story. The irony is, had she not liked him, she probably would have started a thread asking why men lie on their profiles.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 108
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 12:37:15 PM
+1 jackals38.. that is very possible. lol
 MsMaggieMay
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 109
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 3:14:27 PM
No there is no way to get rid of the smell. I am sorry to tell you that you will either have to learn to live with that stink or you will have to dump him.
 lostinalostworld
Joined: 2/2/2013
Msg: 110
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 3:33:39 PM
Actually my Honeywell electrostatic air cleaner works perfectly. Non smokers can't believe I smoke in the house when they come here. That and a daily shower and clean clothes. Try that.
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 111
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 3:36:36 PM
I cannot handle being with someone that smokes. Cant handle cancer stix breath
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 112
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 3:47:20 PM

I guess reading comprehension isn't your strong suit.

I quoted directly from the OP's opening statement. I'm not the one who apparently can't read and comprehend.

He didn't even answer the smoking question at all, which is disingenuous at the very least.

Keep backpeddling dude... he told her before they met.

And if you had read the update posts, he also LIED about smoking e cigs

Now you are just making shit up trying to bolster your failed pointless point. You don't know that he lied about anything.

She liked him, so she overlooked it. End of story.

BS. He said he smoked e-cigs..she is holding him to it. She is NOT overlooking the smoking.

Run along now...
 Jackals38
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 113
view profile
History
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 5:40:15 PM
While i've been informed by several people that you are the resident forum troll and to just ignore you, i'll go ahead and humor you one more time.


I quoted directly from the OP's opening statement. I'm not the one who apparently can't read and comprehend.


Keep backpeddling dude... he told her before they met.


Here is the actual important part of the quote which you clearly don't comprehend: "He told me he does smoke but is trying to quit and mostly smokes e-cigarettes."

MOSTLY, does not mean that's all he does and implies that he also smokes regulars. But you, like the OP, completely ignored that fact. If you don't know what a word means just ask instead of making yourself look like an idiot. And you clearly don't know what backpedaling means either, nor how to spell it, so try not to use big words you don't completely understand.


Now you are just making shit up trying to bolster your failed pointless point. You don't know that he lied about anything.


If by "make up" you mean state exactly what the OP said in msg #90:

"When I saw him last night, I told him that the smell of smoke on his hands and clothes is bothering me more than I thought it would and reminded him that he told me he smoked e-cigs before we met. Apparently he did run out of cartos and didn't bother to order new ones... he just started buying Winstons. He said he'd switch back. We'll see."

See what happens when you actually read more than just the first post? He did lie about it as he had switched back to Winstons without telling her. But you're right, next time i'll just use your strategy of reading one post, make outlandishly bold claims just to try and appear like a badass to others, without actually having a clue what i'm talking about.


BS. He said he smoked e-cigs..she is holding him to it. She is NOT overlooking the smoking.

Run along now...


She is finally holding him to it NOW, after days/weeks of lying even though it was blatantly obvious to anyone not blinded by lust or the prospect of a new boyfriend, that he was still smoking. Are you seriously just a troll or do you normally see people who claim smoking is a dealbreaker start threads entitled "Dealing with cigarette smoke"?
 Zamboni_Operator
Joined: 11/20/2012
Msg: 114
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 9:48:20 PM
Not only are cigarette smokers addicts, after a while their habit also prematurely ages their skin, & dries out their hair. They look old & haggard before their years. They have that sunken cheekbone look, their skin is wrinkled & an unhealthy colour, their hair is lifeless... they smell, their teeth are stained, . it's really sad.

Do you really want to be stuck with someone that's going to look like that a few years down the road? Their sense of taste & smell is also compromised, & their "nic fits" are annoying & pathetic.

I can tell right away just by looking at profile face images if the person is a smoker.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 115
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:22:25 PM

I can tell right away just by looking at profile face images if the person is a smoker.


Can you also tell from a picture if a person is addicted to coffee, or wine, or fatty foods?
 m8t
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 116
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/26/2013 10:50:32 PM
I guess I really am a broom riding witch! That kick start is a MR'er... lol...
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 12:06:28 AM
Well being a former smoker, it's not something I want to be around, it took a few attempts to finally quit for good,one of the hardest things I've ever done, just don't need the temptation. Now if they only smoked e-cigarettes that would be a different story or on rare occasion but nowdays I would prefer a non-smoker. I would be far more concerned about that fact he has been lying since the beginning, not a good way to start off a relationship.
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 118
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 3:19:55 AM

Although smoking does eventually (like when you're 80) have an impact on appearance, I think your description is of someone who might have been doing a lot more than just smoking cigarettes for a long time.



More like 40....I know a few people who somehow manage to escape the effects of smoking externally, but most do not. In general, by the time they reach 40, you can tell. They just look rougher. It was one of the things that bothered me the most about smoking. (mine, I mean)
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 119
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 3:59:32 AM
Although smoking does eventually (like when you're 80) have an impact on appearance, I think your description is of someone who might have been doing a lot more than just smoking cigarettes for a long time.


I'm sorry, but those effects hit a LOT sooner than 80...more like late 30's - early 40's. Granted, it all depends on your genetics and how long you've been smoking. In the end, it does affect your looks in a negative way eventually. How long that takes is going to vary, but it does happen for most people. I never mention it to someone to their face because it's unnecessary. They're an addict. It seems cruel to point out to an addict that they're not only harming themselves on the inside...they would also look better if they'd let go of that cigarette 5 years earlier.

I won't take your challenge because it would be rude to comment on a lady's age in that fashion.
 wolftxusa66
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 120
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 4:53:14 AM

I won't take your challenge because it would be rude to comment on a lady's age in that fashion.

Let's wait for the zamboni guy. Obviously, he has no rudeness concerns whatsoever, if you are a smoker (msg 121).

We are old, haggardy and wrinkled and we stink. We have a bad sense of smell and taste to go with yellow teeth and dead hair, and we act pathetically. After having been called that, I cannot visualize anything else being rude, especially not a guess WHEN someone started smoking (it wasn't even her age).
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 121
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 8:43:32 AM
+1 Frankiesinatra22.. I think if you hate it.. avoid it. If you dont mind it, find someone who respects your rights. This whole thing is about bashing smokers.. I personally have been on both sides of this fence. I dated a smoker when I did not smoke.. he was respectful and I did not mind. I have dated several non smokers when I did smoke and was respectful at all times and never smoked in their homes or cars or around them unless they had no issue with it. its all a matter of choice.. Smokers will quit only when they are ready.. not for you, not because you beat them over the head.. when they are ready. everyone has their personal likes and dislikes, but it shows little or no character to bash people who are different than you. Haters can date haters. Live and let live people and stop trying to spew anger and hate.. really... do none of you have personal traits or habits that annoy others? would you like everyone to bash you for it? JMHO
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 122
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 9:14:30 AM
Yeah...and I am not even a lady so it's a free for all!


Ok, I'll try but it will be a bit difficult.

You have a bit extra weight helping fill out your face, so I'd assume you began smoking between the ages of 16 and 22 based on stretch marks around your mouth. The only picture that shows them well is the one where you're giving a "sexy" pout. The extra weight is going to throw off my estimate, but that's the best I can do.

My mother is going to kill me for doing this. :(

I know, I know, I don't have a picture so its unfair. Maybe I should have stayed out of this one. Ah well. :\ I have big pores. *lol*
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 123
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 10:46:11 AM

So he did, in fact, lie in the profile and didn't even tell her about the e-cigs until after they met in person, which is precisely my point. Also, if you read the update by the OP, the e-cigs was also a lie as well because apparently he "couldn't be bothered to refill them".

Nothing but the real him exposed here......manipulated his profile to have a contact for a date, and hope she will stick around after the truth came out. A trace of an passive aggressive be behavior to get what he wants. I see the same as the guy I dated once. At first seeing each other, everything in his house is cleaned without any objects of woman around which lead me to believe I was the only one he was dating. Time passed to be months, then sudden something begins to appeared as a hair tie with some woman hairs stick with it (he is bald). I fled!
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 124
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 10:51:01 AM

In this case, had the guy been truthful about his smoking, the OP would never have even met the guy in the first place. Instead, she is now bending over backwards to try and make it work despite the fact that smoking is a "deal breaker".


Exactly!
 Daisyrose73
Joined: 9/23/2010
Msg: 125
Dealing with cigarette smoke
Posted: 3/27/2013 11:10:58 AM
I am an ex smoker. I realize just how gross I used to smell...now. Quitting does not have to be difficult. (This comes from someone who tried to do the ecigs and wanted to rip my hair out) I quit by reading a book. It's called Stop Smoking the Easy Way. I actually found the ebook online for free so it cost me nothing. The worst craving I had after reading the book was a brief I want a cig thought to which I immediately said to myself that I didn't need it.

I can see how it is a deal breaker. Good luck!
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dealing with cigarette smoke