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 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 76
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Date With Single Mom Went Horribly WrongPage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
First off, I'm tired of "single moms" bearing the brunt of all this trashing. For every single mom there's a single dad. Where are they on a Saturday morning that they couldn't/wouldn't watch the kids? Lot's of "single moms" take care of the kids 24/7. Let's give them a little credit for that.
She absolutely should have asked if her kids could come. Surprising you like that wasn't fair to you. Putting her kids in a car with a stranger she had been sexting with is beyond dangerous. I'm assuming she needed to get out so bad she wasn't thinking straight.
I had 3 young children when I began dating again. Most of the men I dated often planned dates that included my kids. I had the upmost respect for them for understanding my situation and going the extra mile.
At your age I think you could have handled this better. Despite her clearly being in the wrong I feel badly for her, and the kids. Maybe you could have suggested doing this another time when car seats could be borrowed. Maybe tell her you hadn't planned on her children coming and would appreciate discussing this in the future.
Faking a work emergency, dumping her and 2 small kids at the subway, I would expect more from a man your age. I know she said it was okay to drop her there but clearly she was upset. You should have brought her back to where you picked her up.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 77
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 7:58:14 AM

^^^Faking a work emergency, dumping her and 2 small kids at the subway...you should have brought her back to where you picked her up.


Dumping them at the subway? So anybody who uses the subway is dumped there. In Toronto, the subway is the major form of transportation. Millions of people use it. Are they all dumped there? I guess you never read the opening post, where he says :
"I asked her where she wanted me to drop her and she told me to drop her at a subway station, I told her that I could drive her back to her house and she said "No it's okay".

So you think it would be better if he made them go back to where he picked them up, whether the mother wants to or not. Would you appreciate being forced to go somewhere after making it clear you didn't want to go there? I think that's called kidnapping.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 78
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Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 8:22:05 AM
Msg.1:

What I see in your post is the 2 kids ,a 3 years old who should be sitting in a car seat, worse ",knock on wood" if something happen ,it in danger the toddler life or if the police spot the child you'll get a ticket..
Good thinking on your part, that you made an alibi , not to pursue your outing in a swimming indoor pool.

First meet/ date in a swimming pool? You impressed me that you want to score a phuck from her,so she brought her to kids to shield her which is wrong.
I knew it was going to be hell and it was. Nothing was going to happen between me and her that day.


So sorry about your first date with her, both of you have an agenda, she wants to have a good time with her kids and you want a nice score...
 lostcausein
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 79
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 8:30:55 AM

To my shock she had brought her 2 kids with her, WTH?? I knew she had 2 kids and all but bringing them for our date? C'mon. Anyways right there my morale went to the floor. I almost turned around but I didn't want to look like a rude guy.


Rude ???
She brings her kids without warning and you're worried about looking rude ??????????

How about being ASSERTIVE and telling her it wasn't a cool thing to do - that's what I would've done and I wouldn't have felt one bit bad about it.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 80
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:14:20 AM
she must be super- hot! for you to accept all this BS & still want contact

she's not for you bro!

front me her phone number? Please- e-mail it ;) I have no mail restrictions. ..hahahahaa
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 81
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:27:07 AM
hm, yes as some have stated.. if you KNEW she had kids, and your "date" was for an INDOOR pool at 11 a/m/ on a Saturday..

with the massive I.Q. you brag about in your profile headline..


you might have GUESSED that she wanted to bring the kiddies along for a little free splash & play..

an indoor pool at 11 a.m. on a Saturday would likely be at least 50% occupied by young kids , parents with their kids

not a hot spot for two young lovers getting to know each other.. not a very "ROMANTIC" setting..

I bet there would have been dozens , if not hundreds, of screaming kids there- would have upset & irritated you even more, probably ?
 MuscularVampire
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 82
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 10:09:13 AM
Personally, I've had quite a few first dates in my pool.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 83
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Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 11:06:44 AM
OP I could be wrong, I bet she is the one who suggested the date in an indoor swimming pool. and she might be married looking for a "goodtime" she brought the children with her to go pool swimming to meet you so the husband is not suspicious on her.
Good for you, you simply dudge a bullet.....

I don't think it is a responsibility for a man to pay a Babysitter to date a woman,even they have a tons of money to burn... Just my 2 cents.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 84
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 2:31:01 PM
but for the people sticking up for the mother (maybe she didn't know car seats are required for babies) ?

oh , please, mother of a 3 year old and she doesn't know that? she NEVER takes the kids anywhere in someone's car..right, the OP has no kids and knew that
 AvailableinIndy
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 85
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 5:04:28 PM
Why does every assumed he wanted to get laid?They were going to a water park at 11am!!

I would have said as soon as I pulled up.."no car seats, Darn it! we will have to reschedule...kid free!"

I had male friend that had a gal show up w/ 4 kids to a first meet at a resturante. The nice guy he is, he took them across the street to Chuckie Cheese, and spent a fortune. Never saw the gal again.
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 86
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Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 5:55:10 PM
deere_rancher: are you seriously telling me that youre willing to pay for babysitters for all the single moms you date?


Legend, ... If I want to date, a woman with children( and I have) I offer to pay the sitter(s) and insist on at
least .paying half. That includes paying relatives , if we're going have a late nite.
This wasn't any different, when I was married and wanted a night out with my wife.
I always felt her time, with me, was worth it.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 87
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 6:37:31 PM
where does one begin on this???? I am not sure but if that had been me.....I would have beaten those little imbeciles until they couldn't grow anymore.....I have NO tolerance for bad manners - adults OR children!
 shes_the_one
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 88
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 6:44:13 PM
deere_rancher, I'm impressed! I find it somewhat amazing you've been on this site so long :-)
 lobo65
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 89
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Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 7:35:44 PM
I had a woman bring her two grown daughters and both of her grandchildren (one an infant) on the first date, and it was my birthday too. I went on three dates total with her, and every one of them included the grandkids.
 mickey_moose
Joined: 3/26/2013
Msg: 90
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/1/2013 7:57:09 PM
In Canada ,
you have to have an up to date and licensed care seat to take the
new baby home from the hospital .

So she knew about it first hand
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 91
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/2/2013 8:35:17 AM

(JasonAlexis) I asked her where she wanted me to drop her and she told me to drop her at a subway station, I told her that I could drive her back to her house and she said "No it's okay, I'm not going to take your time anymore". I reached a subway station and stopped, she got out and opened the back door and took her daughter out, then I said to her "Listen give me a call tonight" but before I could finish the sentence she slammed the door of my car almost in my face. She was pissed. She has not texted me bacl nor messaged me through POF. She has not replied to my text messages.


You pretended to get a 'phone call, dumped her, and are now agonizing over her not wanting to get together with you again? Your mom dropped acid (and a lot of it) when she was pregnant with you, right?
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 92
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/2/2013 8:43:41 AM
(JasonAlexis) To the people that say I should never say "I love you" to strange women I have not met ..., well the phrase doesn't really mean what it means in this case, it was a casual nice thing to say to her, as a friend, she also said it to me at the end of a texting-filled night, I'm sure she didn't mean it either, it was just a word of politeness.


You mean, you want to be able to back out of a sticky situation now, by saying that a certain word does not "really" mean what the entire human race thinks it means. Come on, OP, you may think you're more clever than your date was ("I'll pretend my boss just called! She'll NEVER figure out that this is a lie!"), but we're not *ALL* that hoodwinked by your stunning intellect.


(Atosha) So is swimming the new first date trend instead of a coffee?


Yes; and now, we're going to have to figure out who pays for it...
 Cinnamonstar
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 93
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/3/2013 4:33:48 PM
Would've pissed me off. No car seat , no kid in my car. All that screaming and juice flying. And her not telling you before meeting she had kids. It's a big deal! Looking for a baby daddy. Run!
 Arlo_Troutman
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 94
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/4/2013 8:49:26 AM

(privat33r) .. can't be in the car without a booster..?? okay- that's true- but its not exactly the most difficult thing to solve, I think everyone would be fine with bit of care with the seat belts and some clothes to sit on.


What are you, on dope? You can stuff an entire hamper under a kid, but it's still illegal.
 ryuoki
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 95
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/13/2013 1:48:10 PM
I am not going to get caught up on all of the posts. Read the first page though. The easiest thing to have done would be to park the car at the Esso and say, 'since you got the kids with you, how about we take a short walk around'. This would have saved you some gas, cleaning, no worry on not having the right child restraint seats, and still been able to converse. You possibly could have gotten some, or definitely been on her good side if you offered to carry one of the children while walking... that is if she did not have a 2 seat stroller or something. There are always work arounds, and working on the fly is something very good to learn.

You live you learn. I personally do not mind if kids are brought along, so long as I expect them to be there or a last minute text or call indicating such. That was her fault, or maybe even her 'test' to see what you would do. Hard to say exactly how smart she really is. But women can be quite conniving.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 96
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/13/2013 2:06:47 PM


(privat33r) .. can't be in the car without a booster..?? okay- that's true- but its not exactly the most difficult thing to solve, I think everyone would be fine with bit of care with the seat belts and some clothes to sit on.

What are you, on dope? You can stuff an entire hamper under a kid, but it's still illegal.


Yup. Thing is, the OP was stupid in the first place - realistically, he *let her and the kids in his car* and drove around with underage children in the car, illegally, in the first place. Quite simply, as soon as he got there and saw she had her kids with her, he should have said "sorry, I don't have any child seats for them, it's illegal and I'm not going to risk getting an expensive ticket for a date with someone I really don't know". He helped *create* the situation he had to then fake a message (lie) to get out of, when if he'd been totally honest up front it probably would have gone better. She may have still been pissed, but it wouldn't have been a lie after *already doing* the illegal thing.

Basically what it sounds like is, if her kids were well behaved and the OP thought he stood a chance of knocking boots with her later on - he not only would have driven with the kids in the car, illegally (which he *did*), he probably would have assaulted the idiot she pointed to that she didn't like, and robbed a convenience store for her too, to "get some" later.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 97
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/13/2013 3:01:41 PM
Why are you texting I LOVE YOU's, before you met her, or even spoke to her?

Nothing was going to happen between me and her that day.
It sounds like you thought you were going to get laid.
So, she brings her badly behaved kids on a date with a complete stranger, for all she knows you could have been a criminal or a sex offender. A 3 year old & a 5 year old still drinking out of bottles?
She needs parenting classes, but they probably wouldn't work because she has lacks common sense.
She was wrong to bring the kids on the date, but I still feel sorry for her. She is young & lonely, you got her hopes up, she really wanted to meet you. She didn't have or couldn't afford a sitter & she used bad judgment bringing the kids, but it's really sad that you didn't even give her a ride home & she had to take the kids home on the subway, that's just sad.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 98
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Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/13/2013 9:34:47 PM
Wow, just...Wow. boy, did you dodge a bullet.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 99
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Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/21/2013 8:33:18 AM
she is young and lonely,she really wanted to meet you.She did not have a sitter & she used bad judgement bringing the kids. but really sad that you didn't even give a ride home &she had to take the kids home on the subway,that's just bad.


If you read the OP's post your message will entirely different, the OP's" first meeting "is on an indoor swimming pool, we assumed that is the woman 's idea/suggested to the OP, so her kids can enjoy the outing unbeknown to the OP.
They were early and the pool was close to be open on a certain time. The OP made an alibi , and he offered the mother with 2 children to drop her in a convenient place,at her house ,the ESSO gas station, but she was adamant to be drop at a subway station , stating with sting," that they already take to much of his time". I personally think , that is fine, because if the OP got a TICKET for no toddler carseat, that is sad..........

And to the forumite suggesting to put some clothes on the seat so the child will be perfectly alright , very ingenuous
are you expecting the OP to go to his house and get some clothes /sheet/blanket ?????? I bet he doesn't have these in his car trunk.. And still he will get a TICKET if a police spotted his car..
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 100
Date With Single Mom Went Horribly Wrong
Posted: 4/21/2013 10:23:43 AM

Op... if you want to date her , and knowing she has kids ..You should offer to Pay for a sitter.

Well theres an idea!!! though you still got to find one, and hope they dont let you down at the last minute.


And who should pay to get car seats to put in HIS car for HER kids? Should the guy buy those as well, since he has to pay for everything anyway? By the way, not only is it law to be required to have kid seats in a car when there are kids, if the seats are not properly installed in the car, you can get a ticket for that as well-as well as losing point for endangering the lives of children, which will make his insurance rates go through the roof.

This is no different than dating a gold digger. The guy gets to pay for a baby sitter, car seats and buys the whole family meals. What a deal!
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