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 AUTHOR
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 25
Do you think that Internet Realtionship SurvivesPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
The internet SHOULD BE just a place where you first had contact with someone. You don't actually "date" or "have a relationship" online (except for a few select weirdos). Once you have contact with someone, take it offline immediately and meet up.

There is no reason a relationship can't work if the people met online more or less than if they met at church, in school, in line at the market...blah blah. It's not how you met, it's what happens after that that counts.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 26
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 3:31:02 PM
I was fortunate to have experienced a transcontinental relationship that began with a months-long internet relation. We (I and my eldest child) flew to his nation state where I married him and had a son. It was a very difficult process through which we faced insurmountable odds (and I'm not dramatizing here), only to admit years later that we were thoroughly incompatible, anyway. It was one of saddest periods in my life.

It isn't because of an internet relationship that it failed - it's because in real life, relationships fade and marriages dissolve - be it online or in real life. There were no illusions between us and we were well aware of the odds merging two families culturally different, and we had to work our asses off to make it a reality.

The common thread between both dimensions of connection is the love that transcends wires, satellites, and communication programs, when words of concern and care are conveyed from the keyboard to first time you lay eyes on that person. There's something almost divine about it, as if it were preordained, but then I stop and I ask myself if it's preordained when somebody harms another when they use the internet to deliberately hurt somebody else?

Online IS real life (not in the way it's generally interpreted, IMHO), because the pain expressed here is the pain one experiences in their heart. It can surely prove our disillusionment which always begins in the mind and heart before the internet is present. The lies that are told to you on here are the lies bespoken by the same person to somebody else. The lie about themselves is another lie that they have to tell to cover their original lie. The click of a few keywords for vital information are the words written by somebody in pain which connects people together to create awareness about terrible diseases, reuniting long-last families, affront oppression, or dispel myths about sexual abuse or mental illness.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 27
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Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 3:32:09 PM


Bucs is right.

I know 2 couples that have been married for years that met online.

Don't ask of the internet to do anything for you that you aren't willing to put in the effort for yourself op

"Ah she's online so therefore I don't have to do anything special to woo her other than offer myself up as a prize she just won ( must be desperate)"

Just because people are on here does not mean they can't and don't meet people in real life and that they aren't desirable to many other people that have an advantage over you in some way.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 28
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 4:06:18 PM
No relationship online OR offline will survive.

These days, people are SO fickle. Here today and gone the next. They will stay with you until they find someone they perceive as better, drop you like a hot rock, and move on. - aka the grass is greener on the other side of the fence...........

See it every day.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 29
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 5:15:11 PM

It isn't because of an internet relationship that it failed - it's because in real life, relationships fade and marriages dissolve - be it online or in real life. There were no illusions between us and we were well aware of the odds merging two families culturally different, and we had to work our asses off to make it a reality.


Quite eloquent in expression!
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 30
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Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 6:16:10 PM
OP, yes I think an internet spawned relationship stands as good a chance as any of survival. I look at the internet, and dating sites such as POF as tools though.....

You can meet, talk, send pictures and communicate quite well online. Online can get folks together that would'nt normally connect. After a connection and potential attraction has been established it's up to the individuals involved.

They can continue on to form a bond together, or let things evaporate into the ether. Depends upon their effort and commitment to one another.
 LoveBeautifulDays
Joined: 2/21/2013
Msg: 31
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 6:45:38 PM
Yes, if you meet, share life experiences, stay in contact, etc
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 32
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 6:53:18 PM
Just think about thisk would there ever be any other instance where it would be asked if a relationship could survive based SOLELY on the situation where the two people first met? That's really what's being asked.

This thread reminds me of the end of the movie "When Harry Met Sally" where all the couples are giving a brief bio, saying when and how they met. That's one of my favorite parts of that movie, also the diner scene....haha.

How you met becomes part of your memories and relationship history. And stories to tell...what would it matter how or where it was.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 33
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Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/29/2013 8:48:52 PM
I was chat friends (only) for three years. It was back before dating sites and when aol showed a list you could scan that had everyone in your state who was online (which wasn't a whole lot of people, comparably). Sometimes we talked daily, sometimes weekly. Circumstances prompted us to meet (back then those things 'weren't done' both of our families were a little freaked about us doing it). We have been together 14 years.
 Aura1shine
Joined: 3/2/2011
Msg: 34
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/30/2013 3:06:10 AM
Well internet has been a replacement of old time personal ads in a news paper back in the old days. I remember read those section in wonderment during my college year in sociology class. It was fun then as much as it is now with the internet as a medium.
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 35
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/31/2013 9:06:18 AM
I'm looking for a wife and boat. I always ask for a picture of the boat and I never hear from the women again, so internet relationships are not working for me.
 Dem_ian
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 36
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Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/31/2013 10:15:32 AM
OP,
I know 2 persons (one man, one woman) who got MARRIED to other 2 people they met on the internet. One couple was married for 10 years and got divorced. The other one just had their first child in December.

I think this method of communication can be very misleading if people get taken away by pure instant emotions. As with other relations, they get built over long periods of time.

To Igor and others, no, this is not a self pitty thread. The OP clearly stated he is new on this and wanted some insights.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 37
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/31/2013 10:39:48 AM
No the dont. Thru my twenties ( before Internet dating was that popular) I was in 3 relationships 2.5 yrs then 3 yrs and last one was 5. Now been exactly single for 3 yrs. and can't find no one and I meet a few ppl on here but for most part I get that it is not going to work for them after week or two or its just a hook up offers. I didn't meet anyone here jet who would like to be with me in real committed relationship. I don't thing that dating sites really works. I'm kind of getting disappointed
 Terramay
Joined: 7/14/2012
Msg: 38
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/31/2013 11:19:02 AM
I dated a guy who married a girl from a dating site.
They divorced, obviously.

I think it really depends what your definition of a successful internet relationship is. Can you meet someone from the internet? Do you date? Do you date for a year? Do you get married? Do you have kids? Depends on what you define as success.

But all of my partners that became boyfriends from the internet lasted. And all of the men I've actually met from online either
A: Became a friend for months.
B: Became a boyfriend for years.
C: No chemistry, never saw again.

I think internet dating is amazing. I've actually ran into two guys I've met from the site years later amongst friends at parties!
 latinwoman1
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 39
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/31/2013 3:38:36 PM
I agree with you , so much agree , the relationship is not thinking about take , is about give...
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 2/28/2013
Msg: 40
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/31/2013 4:00:20 PM
I tend to think most internet romances don't survive and don't last. I think the odds are simple, you correspond, you may find their pictures attractive, and you talk and may enjoy their conversation, but when you meet sometimes the chemistry isn't there or isn't the same. Sometimes it may work and sometimes it doesn't.

The farthest that I've gotten with someone that I met from online was engaged, but long story short he was controlling and jealous and I had to get a restraining order. I would say just like anything take your time, and truly see a person for who they are. Good luck.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 41
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Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 3/31/2013 5:55:02 PM
I think they can work if you are talking about to mature individuals. From what I read on these forums, there does not seem to be a whole lot of maturity. If people can not devote their attention to just one other person, the relationship is doomed to fail. I see too many people who are staying on line with active profiles trying to meet more people when they claim they are in a relationship. I would not define "being in a relationship" as still trying to meet others. I think the internet dating has proved to be a bad thing for many people when the couple does not get off the dating site long enough to focus on working through issues. As soon as their is a disagreement, its back on line trying to find the next one.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 42
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Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 4/1/2013 4:24:03 AM
For me, it isn't real until we actually meet and get to know each other, until then it's just chat, you don't really know who the person is on the other side of the keyboard. I've met a few men from pof that were fine online but when we met and started to interact, their true nature came out, ie bad opinion of women, married or lied about their age/appearance. The positive side is that I've also met some great guys that I never would have if I hadn't been online, but then the online persona matched the person in real life and we made a connection.
 WHITEROSEFOREVER
Joined: 3/18/2013
Msg: 43
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 4/1/2013 5:01:35 PM
I am also new to the on-line dating, but I sure hope it works...if not, what are we doing here? There has to be something to on-line dating for when it first started it would not have caught on and became so huge. Ahhh, but then again, maybe I am just a hopeful romantic.
 ArtDeVivre777
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 44
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:02:25 PM
Well, almsot half of my friends in their 30's or 40
s met online :) and it later on developed to a relationship and LTR or marriage. I am a close friend so I know their story, to other ppl they say they met at college,thru friends etc. But I know the truth :)
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 45
Do you think that Internet Realtionship Survives
Posted: 4/1/2013 10:11:40 PM
Like I've said, it doesn't matter, when, where, or how you meet. Internet dating is no different. The key is when 2 individuals that have a strong connection are willing to put forth time and effort to make something special.

Ask yourselves; would yo be embarrassed if you found THE ONE while waiting in line at a local 7-11, while he with 2, 40 ounce beers in one hand, and a bag of cheetohs in the other, and her with a box of kotexes and a bag of gummy worms in the other?
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