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Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 9
actually meeting people in person Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Like Einstein said, the only way to change the results is to change what you do. Stop all the texting, first off. No reason to do that until you're in a relationship with them. Stop spending hours in email and on the phone. Set up the date, then don't chit chat with them until you've met them. How hard is that to do? Trust me they will follow through then. Also, fix up your profile. Get rid of most of your photos and put up a nice photo, where you're smiling and attractive.
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 10
actually meeting people in person
Posted: 3/31/2013 4:48:32 PM
My feeling is if there's "mutual" interest (meaning there's contact reciprocity and it's genuine ) just meet after a few messages or a phone call. If the person makes constant excuses, or says they will but bails, move on.

If one "prefers" long, drawn-out messaging that lasts weeks or months then you take your chances. What usually happens is one or both people build up this outrageous fantasy about the other which 99% of the time no one ever measures up to.

I certainly wouldn't want to spend countless hours messaging back and forth only to meet and find out we have zero chemistry in person, and that goes for both her and me. I won't get those hours back. I also won't pretend I'm some prize who will knock the socks off a woman if she'd only meet me, and I'm hoping she's not so full of herself that she feels the same. The amount of superiority, the mindset that people "deserve" some King or Queen, is gawd-awful.
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 12
view profile
actually meeting people in person
Posted: 3/31/2013 6:10:35 PM
I have found many people on here are just playing games. I did not waste time emailing back and forth for weeks. I suggest you get off this site as soon as you feel comfortable and set up meetings in public. If they refuse or make excuses, move on. Many men on here are married and just talking on her to women or trying to get sex. The other group of men are men who often could not get a date in real life. They are social inept and even when you do meet them you wish you had not. That leaves about maybe 5-10% of the men who are actually trying to meet someone to date or for a relationship. Then its all about compatibility. Datingon POF can be frustrating at best.
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 13
actually meeting people in person
Posted: 3/31/2013 6:37:14 PM
I don't have much sympathy for the people who say they email/text/chat/talk for weeks or months and then the person vanishes or stands them up. On this site or any other or even in real life if a man and I express interest in one another I am keen to set up a date or a meet (if from online) quickly. I have a 10 day rule barring extenuating circumstances. If he doesn't want to see each other in person in less time than that - I move on. Simple. All this texting and messaging is rubbish. I don't even exchange numbers until I have met a man and know I want to date him. Why would a person spend hours on the phone rather than quickly meeting one another? It seems like such a wasted endeavor.

Advice? Don't waste your time texting and whatnot. Don't allow yourself to become emotionally attached to someone you have never laid eyes on. Get a profile review. Be honest in your stats.
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 17
actually meeting people in person
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:09:58 PM
I'm guessing in some of these situations, it was just a kid with a fake profile messing with people. In other cases, it could be a scammer who would eventually be asking for money or personal information for identity theft. Obviously, in either case, they can't meet in person, so they set up a fake meet as way to end it and move on to the next "victim". A real person who is here to date wouldn't be bailing unless he/she suddenly starts seeing red flags in an e-mail/text.
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 20
view profile
actually meeting people in person
Posted: 3/31/2013 9:07:59 PM
If we haven't set up a meet in the first convo... it doesn't tend to happen... not sure what that seems to be... but then again... I would rather meet sooner than later.... I have noticed that convo's are fading a lot quicker than they use to on here.... was a time that anyone I talked to was ready to meet.... now not so much....
Joined: 3/2/2013
Msg: 25
actually meeting people in person
Posted: 4/2/2013 8:06:05 PM
Well, it's very natural. I don't take it personally, I am very straight to the point kind of person and love to meet in person, no problem at all. I am only interested to meet like minded guys,who want to chat on the phone ASAP and meet ASAP.

Guys don't call u for different reasons, and it happens in real life too.

I find when I meet men in real life, the same happens 50% of the time, lets they flirt with me on a party, say how cute I am ,ask for my number, just never to call me :) The last time it happened,I met a guy in the bar,we chatted and we talked, he spent like 200 $ for food and drinks for us,asked for my number, but never called actually. But I don't really care, as oops I don't remember his name even lol he had some good stories to tell though :)

I don't take it personally, I never ask for guys' phone number, never contact men first. In online dating, u probably chat with many guys,you give you number to those you find nice enough for you,and after that forget about it :) I usually give my number to several guys almost daily and can't even recall their names. When they call I do the job interview again on the phone lol and also ask nicely for their user name on here, to know who I am talking to. But I do it nicely of course. I think about 50% of them only decide to contact me and even less follow up with a date ir I lose my interest too sometimes after talking to them.

Some guys will call you,others won't, the reason is irrelevant. Maybe they have a gf,lied you about their age,changed their mind ,get hit by the car ,well hopefully not lol, you shouldn't care much about it. Don't over analyze.

Anyways, if he doens't call his level of interest was low .

Men who are really interested in you will call/txt you almost immidiately, ask you out very fast, will contact you daily, will try to ask you out again for the second date...I only date guys who are really interested in me and show it. Believe me, dating can be great if you focus on men who are really interested to date you,instead of those who don't like you enough or follow up .It's a waste of time. NEVER try to date guys who are cold or lukewarm about you , only those who are really into you . I am sure some nice guys would love to call you and follow up with a date, you'd better focus on them.
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