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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?      Home login  
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 DontAskMe2CarryUrPurse
Joined: 1/22/2013
Msg: 20
Is finding/having a partner really that important to you? Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
All I'm looking for is maturity, good communication skills, assertiveness, wit, intelligence, adventurous and someone with a zest for learning and life. When I find her, I'll commit to a relationship. But maturity has been a difficult one to check off the list, also assertiveness. The others are more about the chemistry and finally the last couple are about their own personal growth potential. I'm not gonna bother with someone who is not well rounded or who can't care of themselves or is not independent. It's about finding a true partner to grow with and that could potentially care for you and vice verse. That can make the tough decisions if one gets ill. A real partner.
 RandomFish123
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 21
Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?
Posted: 4/1/2013 1:56:16 PM

Also, it's laughable to say that people are waiting for the "perfect" person just because they won't be with the first remotely decent person they come across. If anything, the vast majority of people on here need to be MORE picky about who they choose to date, not less so.


^^^ Yep.

I think most times relationships fail due to the fact that we chose the wrong person to begin with .... But in a roundabout way, the only way to know whether or not they are the right person is again, through trial and error as well.

Thus having gone through such trial & error, theoretically it should be that we should be wiser in knowing what works and doesn't work for us. .... Yet in reality this isn't always the case. .. Thus the wash-rinse-repeat cycle.



Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?


If it wasn't, most of us would not be on here to begin with dontcha think? .... Yep even those who just come on here for the forums. For some it matters more, for others, it can be nice but perhaps not a top-priority thing.

Don't forget that love & relationships are the stuff that movies, songs and poetry are made of. No matter how many times we spin it, in its essence throughout recorded history, it is still the same.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 22
Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?
Posted: 4/1/2013 8:15:21 PM

If anything, the vast majority of people on here need to be MORE picky about who they choose to date, not less so.

I think women online tend to be pretty picky about who they get involved with, due to the ratio. More options one has over time, the more picky they will be. Less options over time, less picky.

Of course, the problems are usually that what people gravitate toward isn't exactly what they preach in what they like, except for solid deal-breakers. People can easily be over-picky mainly because they don't (emotionally) NEED a relationship. You (emotionally) NEED a relationship when you feel more empty without one.

If it wasn't, most of us would not be on here to begin with dontcha think?

Not everyone is looking for a "partner" per se, though. Some people, it being handy at their fingertips, are exploring their options and looking for someone to merely date -- where sure, becoming a partner may be something in the future but not them looking for it. This isn't eHarmony. :)

Think of it this way: Some people are open to the possibility of having kids, but not looking To Have kids. And some people don't want kids when they don't have any, and some folk sneer at that thinking "What? If you end up getting married, how can you not want kids?! Why get married?" They emotionally can't see/understand that.

I think a lot of people, in the right place and after enough time, would want a partner. But it's not a super-small minority of people who aren't looking for a partner and would be 100% content/happy without an established partner. That doesn't mean they don't date at all or void themselves of the possibilities of potentially being in position to have a partner.
 ARadicalPunk
Joined: 1/27/2010
Msg: 23
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Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:16:42 PM
Hell yes, who else is going to make me some "sammwitches."
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 24
Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?
Posted: 4/1/2013 9:43:06 PM
OP does your wife know you`re eating out?
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 25
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Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?
Posted: 4/1/2013 10:57:18 PM

Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?

No


How is it possible there are so many people looking for love with today’s ease of communication?

Probably because so many people have higher standards than before.


Is it a matter of “not settling” so it’s better to be alone?

Likely that plays a role though I find gender wise more guys than gals do this. I have yet to see as many guys settle for a gal they find unattractive, unappealing, and tolerate than I have with gals. I just went to a wedding with such a couple where she was simply glad to be married before 30 regardless of if she has to grin and bear it thinking of his brother during sex.


If that’s the case is it fair to say that finding a partner is not really a priority?

I don't think it's fair to say that because they won't settle that finding a partner is not really a priority as likely they want a worthwhile partner not just any partner to just have one.


Is it more a case of “I can’t find the exact person I want” rather than “I can’t find anyone?”

This in my opinion is fair to say.


It seems in today’s world with equal rights/opportunities, society accepting men and women doing the same activities, people put great importance on finding someone like themselves. Is that wise?

I think it's wise if said people want a partner like themselves.


In the past men and women seldom did the same thing so what attracted them? What held their interest in each other?

It's a bit unwise to compare the past to the present considering gals the gender disparity as likely guys having far more control than gals in society/relationships, gals not being able to financially survive on their own, and society frowning upon divorce.


Have we shifted from opposites attract to similarities attract? If so, is that a good thing to base a relationship on?

No I don't think society has made that shift.


“I grew. He/she didn’t” is heard more often than not. Considering people will change interests and activities and views is it wise to base a relationship on things that we know will change? Wouldn’t fewer requirements result in a greater chance of staying together?

Not necessarily in my opinion as a gal could have the few requirements of male and all his accompanying traits could be a turn off or negative to her.


What is really important? We all know the initial thrill of a relationship dies down and each person slides into their particular niche over time so why do we demand that initial thrill?

Likely people demand that thrill as a romantic/sexual relationship is often about passion and dying or lacking passion tends to get the relationship to be seen as nothing more than friends.


Knowing we all settle into a comfort zone why do people not accept that comfort zone in the beginning?

Probably because most people don't put themselves in that comfort zone in the beginning. It's a bit hard in my opinion to accept that comfort zone when in the beginning and possibly middle they acted a different way.


Is it a relationship people seek or the thrill of starting a relationship?

Depends on the person.


Is it really that difficult to find a loving, caring partner or is it more of an all-or-nothing thing?

It's not difficult in my opinion to find a loving, caring partner however whether a person would want such a partner is a toss up. Take for example a guy I know who complained about not being able to find a loving caring gal and I found him plenty however all where obese/overweight, older than him, and unattractive to him.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 26
Is finding/having a partner really that important to you?
Posted: 4/3/2013 6:09:08 AM
I dont think everyone is seeking perfection and not everyone is passing up great dates just to see if something better comes along. i think its more about finding someone who is not only compatible, but someone you wont mind waking up with each morning. I think some of us have made mistakes in not being picky enough in our past relationships and missing all the signs. Am I am more selective, yes, but for good reason. I chose the wrong men in my past and paid a heavy price for it. We do not need to settle for the first man who walks through the door, most of us are looking for someone we feel we can grow old with. I would hope a man would not want a woman who is just settling for him.. I want the whole deal and although some will say that is be pickky, i say its just looking out for both peoples best interest.
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