|CRADLE SNATCHINGPage 2 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)|
|Well I can tell you all the man I am was dating and still date once in awhile ia 17 years younger than I am and neither of us cares what others think. We enjoy each other in private and public and those who dont like it can turn their heads...lol.|
Posted: 4/3/2013 7:00:00 AM
If the keyword search applied to anything other than the thread title or username, then maybe I could show you the older thread (not started by me) where I first brought this up as a double standard. It went exactly as I stated. Don't let the truth hit you in the ass on the way out.
No requirement for a specific thread title as we can just click on your posting history and read your rigid views about shallow women who are all gold diggers. But is it kind for you to offer 'proof' I am wrong even if you could quite manage it.
'Forum women' who you like to apply blanket commentaries about, don't all fit your personal life experiences. They say more about you and your choices than us and ours.
I don't need a thread to confirm the accuracy of that either because like you, my posting history is accessible and we are each consistent in showing who we are. Mine are over there <----- .
Posted: 4/3/2013 11:15:54 AM
|If let others make my decisions for me I'd be a promiscuous, chain smoking alcoholic.|
Posted: 4/3/2013 12:06:25 PM
|if you got on great with someone, but he/she was over 10 years older than you, would you feel constrained by what others such as your peer group thought of the age difference, and not date them, as you didn't want to feel like cradle snatcher|
First, don't you mean years younger? This would then make us the snatcher.
Second, if I'm not mistaken, the word actually is cradle robber.
Last, between any adults, ten years is nothing..................Nothing! Get back to us when you're talking of 20 or more years apart.
Posted: 4/3/2013 3:41:48 PM
if you got on great with someone, but he/she was over 10 years older than you, would you feel constrained by what others such as your peer group thought of the age difference, and not date them, as you didn't want to feel like cradle snatcher
Very amusing assumption about peer groups.
Honestly depends on which peer group I would consult. My wife is 22 years younger.
Western men living in Thailand would think ideal age is 20-25 regardless of my age. So I would have married a old woman in their view. They think 18-19 are often too silly, over 30 is a getting over the hill. They would think 35 years younger.
A common comment from other Thai women was why I marry someone so fat, she is 5.1 and 121 lbs, no comment about age. Now I don't think that is fat, but we get that comment.
Older USA women that know me like friends and family thought she was too young and maybe taking advantage of an old fool.
Random women on a forum, maybe 20% think it's love, 50% don't care one way or the other, 10% are outraged and cry pedophilia, 20% never comment. If they are upset then they think I am taking advantage of her.
Men rarely voice an opinion.
I will have to see if there is any reaction IRL from people in the USA once she immigrates over here. Personally I never thought it was weird, though I did think it was a little strange that I am older than her mother.
BTW, my father was 10 years older than my mother, my first wife was 7 older than me, only a few posters on a forum would think 10 years is a big deal.
Posted: 4/3/2013 4:05:35 PM
That is, of course, unless you call them on the different connotations depending on gender - man dating younger = cradle robber (derogatory with pedophile implications); woman dating younger = cougar (woman going after what she wants; not derogatory). When you point that out, then they all complain about cougar supposedly being bad so that there is no double standard - yeah, right.
I think there are a lot of double standards and gender differences.
Cradle robbing IMO is uni-sexual, doesn't imply either a man or a women. Not sure why you think differently.
Men date younger women and they don't have a derogatory name for them like cougar. The only name I can think of is sometimes they call them a dirty old man.
Men still make more money than women, short men are more discriminated against my many measures.
Only mentally disturbed people think dating an adult has pedophile implications. There are quite a few mentally disturbed people on the Internet. It might be a little creepy for a 70 year old to date a 20 year old, but it's not pedophile.
Women pedophiles are treated very leniently by the justice system, while male pedophiles would get easier treatment if they were serial killers. Women criminals are treated more leniently also.
Based on current rates of first incarceration, an estimated 32% of black males will enter State or Federal prison during their lifetime, compared to 17% of Hispanic males and 5.9% of white males.
Most serial killers are males.
There are many double standards and gender differences, but why get your panties in a wad about a few posters on the Internet, you aren't even looking for a younger women?
Posted: 4/3/2013 4:31:48 PM
|I always thought cradlesnatching meant someone much younger than you...maybe Im confused, its entirely possible...|
Posted: 4/4/2013 7:43:36 AM
|my ex was 14 years younger than me..we have a beautiful daughter together...i didnt care what people thought then and dont now. its my life|
Posted: 4/4/2013 8:08:00 AM
|sorry meant to edit my post after realising how it looked, but won't let me do it now, |
i know cradle snatching or robbing as some people refer to it means person you interested in is quite a bit younger
than yourself, but having been in both situations myself, was wondering how others regarded it
as in looking at scenario from both sides,
when i was 23 met a girl at a local ceilidh in glasgow, got on great with her, mates told me she too old for you,
i said no she not,
so after finally winning her over she agreed to go out with me,
wasn't till few days afterwards when found out she not just 4-5 years older than me, but in fact 13 years older that started to re-think
as most guys in 20s still not ready to settle down, so instead of using my intelligent side, think so much pressure from family and friends swayed me, as well as her family, so broke up,
kind of ironic considering years later my kid bro married girl 11 years older than him,
and at his wedding reception, met girl who was into new age religion, who was 11 years younger than me, kept telling me age is just a number, liked the girl, but still went our seperate ways
so i seen scenario from both sides
Posted: 4/4/2013 8:21:25 AM
|My mom was widowed very early in life (my dad died young, unfortunately) and she ended up 6 or 7 years later meeting an amazing man who was 25+ years older than her. She hemmed and hawed and pushed him away, but he was steady in his pursuit. I think she was worried about what people thought and also worried about being widowed again.|
Happy ending: They had 20 great years together, traveled the world, she got him to take up golf. Several of the men her own age she dated before she met my step father passed away before he did.
Posted: 4/4/2013 10:14:05 AM
|If you are worried about what other people think about relationships that make you happy, you should consider seeking counseling.|
Age differences may ultimately have an effect on you, but there is no guarantee that you won't check out before the other person
you are being involved in, and you can't ensure living happily ever after by reading birth certificates.
A this age group, you just can't expect to live forever after. Why limit your choices based on anything?
Posted: 4/4/2013 11:45:22 AM
|Im a bit of a romantic so I will say my peice and let it rest.|
I dont give a good god damn about how old you are as long as you have the capacity to make an informed decision and you are of legal age. I have seen some beautiful couples with 20 years difference between them. As long as the reasons behind their togetherness are sound, be it sexually, monetarily or simply souls bound together.
When you die, nobody will ever say "Did you see how she stayed with men of her own age and was always a proper lady.?"
Nope. Me neither
I WOULD say "She respected and loved herself enough to not let something as trite as other peoples judgements deprive her of her desire. She loved that boy with all her soul." Or "He Loved her with everything he had".
I have a friend who saved and scrimped and got himself an american muscle car. People still made comments.
People will ALWAYS make comments.
People will always try to make you feel guilty because you had the nads to do something they want to do, but wont admit.
My girlfriend is ten years younger than I am.
I had reservations at first out of habit, but then I reminded myself that nothing matters as far as anyone else is concerned. My girls LOVE her. They may even be closer to her than their own mother. But mostly, they love and accept her because she is great for me.
When somebody asks you why you are dating somebody who is different in age...ask yourself "What are THEY trying to to gain from making you self conscious?"
Most of the time I see either sour grapes or people who dont like to travel too far out of the social norm.
Love who you want, when you want with as much honesty as you can.
Somebody doesnt like it...thats their issue. Not yours.
Posted: 4/5/2013 9:07:15 AM
|I think you got it wrong ... |
From my experience, cougars are considered for the most part to be desperate, older women who are trying to relive their glory years ... While men who date much younger women are lauded and considered to be STUDS ...
Yes, there IS a double standard, and it stinks!!
We should all be able to love and be with whoever we want to be with, without fear of criticism or ostracism.
Age shouldn't matter, as long as there is good compatibility and true feelings ...
I DO believe that if a man is young enough for you to have given birth to him, then it's probably not a good idea, lol! ...
But it's nice to be complimented by a much younger man sometimes :)
Posted: 4/5/2013 9:16:31 AM
|Well, from the younger ladies POV when they marry a much older man, they have told me amongst themselves it is called grave robbing.|
Posted: 4/5/2013 8:35:42 PM
Yes, there IS a double standard, and it stinks!!
Agreed. We won't discuss all the double standards that benefit women, those are for other threads, and when men comment on them they are told to suck it up. Guess what, ladies ...
Posted: 4/5/2013 8:59:33 PM
|I am usually only comfortable with around 5 years difference and I will admit that if the gap is larger I am more comfortable if he is the older one. It is a personal preference and we aren't all going to be the same. I do get pressure from people in my social circle to go much younger but I just don't have an interest. *shrug*|
Posted: 4/5/2013 10:03:55 PM
|I brought in my 40th birthday with a 23 yr old but knew it was what it was. My ex-husband was 10 yrs older when I was younger. I dated men either younger or older and ended up with a man who is my age and it's great! We have so much more in common.|
As for when I dated the older/younger group....I didn't give a rats behind what people thought..if I liked him then my true friends accepted. Simple. I think you might have the problem with it but you shouldn't....go with it and have fun!
Posted: 4/6/2013 5:38:39 AM
|thanks for all your replies, glad to see there from a diverse section of pof, as not after only affirmation of what i think,|
and when i can finally figure out how to quote a previous post, i'll answer more
and when i can finally figure out how to quote a previous post, i'll answer more[quote/] ok think i finally worked it out
Posted: 4/6/2013 6:14:49 AM
|^^^You were close|
[post]your cut and paste here[/post]
Now, instead of the word post...use quote..no spaces ...all lower case...
Sometimes if you go back in to correct an error the whole thing gets bonky....may have to correct again.
Posted: 4/6/2013 5:56:36 PM
|My first hubby was 14 years older; my second, 16 years younger. Have repeated the 16 years younger gap a couple of times since. And once, at 59 got a very serious offer from a 23 year old. Which I considered for a half hour or so. Till I figured it's pretty much a kind of time machine: you get to discover all over again the ideas and insights, one by one, that helped you grow up in the first place. Meanwhile have had a couple of bantering relationships (exchange of e-mail) with some teens on PoF -- but no one that young seriously or in meat life.|
Best thing is to *know* who you are, how tolerant you are, and then just walk your own path.
Posted: 4/7/2013 6:31:42 AM
|Think maybe at my age just a bit wary of dating someone so much younger than myself, |
as in culture and interests gap, not want to be thought holding someone back,
as know when i was younger used to go raves, and extreme sports, so don't want partner to think they have to slow down for me haha
Posted: 4/8/2013 11:05:23 AM
|I've dated 5 years younger and 10 years older, but if there is a personality match, similar interests, chemistry,... what the heck who says or thinks anything! Maybe they are jealous!|
Posted: 4/11/2013 7:38:09 AM
|I dated a younger guy for the first time and it lasted 3 and a half years. He was 13 years younger than me. At first I felt a bit awkward but soon got used to it and then enjoyed it. He became the love of my life but sadly it ended but it had nothing to do with our age and we are still good friends and care for each other a lot. |
So I would say go for it if you have feelings for someone because age gaps can and do work for many people. Have to admit since then I seem to have dates with younger men (their choice). But I'm not complaining :)
Posted: 4/14/2013 8:41:03 PM
|Well, I wouldn't date a younger man, but I feel quite comfortable dating an older man. I actually prefer to date men that are about 10 to 15 years older, but I do date men closer to my own age, too. Older men are more interesting, more attractive, and tend to have better manners. Younger men are a turn off to me. JFK was 12 years older than Jackie, so I don't see what the big deal is. But when an older woman dates a younger man, it's definitely a risk. Men are so visual, and I've yet to see a relationship between a significantly older woman and a younger man last for the long haul. Typically, the guy ends up leaving for a women that is younger or close to his own age.|
Posted: 4/14/2013 9:23:25 PM
|As long as a man is over the age of 40, has his own career and doesn't depend on me financially, I would assume he is with me because he is mature enough to be with me.|
I would date a man older than me and married one ten years older than me...but I was very young and he was only 32.
I dated a guy who was 60 but in no way could you tell, looks or physical ability...he was better at any sports than most guys in their 30's. Unfortunately, his religious life didn't agree with mine otherwise I would have married him.
Age is only a factor to me when it comes to the way someone acts and looks.