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 ReadBeforeWriting
Joined: 9/30/2012
Msg: 22
Female I met up with had a breakdownPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
You've been out with this female just twice and she is in a psych facility.
You still wish to maintain contact with her?
Are you very desperate, lonely, or unable to attract females? She is a disaster; no job, mental illness and God knows what else. I would suggest you sever ties.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 23
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Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/3/2013 7:42:24 AM
^^^^^

Also my first reaction. What is this 'compassion thing'? this is a STRANGER.

If you have been an exclusive item for a few months, your reaction might be noble...but a meet and a date? You need to reaxamine your own dependency and social awareness.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 24
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/3/2013 8:10:23 AM

They will not admit you as a day patient at any Psychiatric hospital is USA . You can only see a Psychiatrist at regular office and is the one who decides if you need hospitalization or not .Beside , a Psychiatrist will never recommend hospitalization only for depression. It most be a life threatening reason , otherwise they will send your a-s back home with a prescription of psychotropics medication . This young man is just by to be scammed probably. Open your eyes kid , the world is big and bad unfortunately .


I have to agree with SLG13's comment before, I didn't notice the 'texting' thing in the OP, but she's *not* in the psych ward responding to texts. And in general, getting into the psych ward means you threatened/tried suicide or something (you are a threat to yourself or others), *not* just for "depression", and you are there until they deem you not a threat anymore.
 TimeforAChange48
Joined: 12/10/2012
Msg: 25
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/3/2013 8:11:03 AM

a Psychiatrist will never recommend hospitalization only for depression


There are different levels of depression and they will indeed hospitalize if warranted.

If you like this person support them as a friend, nothing wrong with that.

Unless things have drastically changed in those places, phone calls do go through the front desk, then to a phone generally directly by the nurses station so they can gauge the emotional response the phone call has on the patient.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 26
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Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/3/2013 8:20:52 AM

You've been out with this female just twice and she is in a psych facility.
You still wish to maintain contact with her?
Are you very desperate, lonely, or unable to attract females? She is a disaster; no job, mental illness and God knows what else. I would suggest you sever ties.

I agree..At least something to think about..I know I would.

Also my first reaction. What is this 'compassion thing'? this is a STRANGER.

If you have been an exclusive item for a few months, your reaction might be noble...but a meet and a date? You need to reaxamine your own dependency and social awareness.

Agree. She might just be trying to scam you. I don't know. I am not saying yes, or no. Just be careful.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 27
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/3/2013 9:57:20 AM
I agree with some of the others-that one meet and one date does not make a relationship. But a point missing is that wanting to be part of this situation might cause more harm than good in the long run. First off, it will probably be quite a while before the girl is ready to be dating and in a romantic relationship. Is the OP going to wait around until she's emotionally ready for dating and healthy relationships? Secondly, the longer the OP hangs around, the more she will be using him as an emotional crutch and start getting attached. If the OP decides at some point he doesn't want to handle the problem and starts looking elsewhere or has an argument with her at some point, that could be a major setback in her recovery.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 28
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/3/2013 11:03:41 AM

Everybody is giving you a pat on the back for sticking around. But I don't like the odds of this blossoming into a love affair in the long run. You met her twice, so you barely know her and as a result you probably didn't see any warning signs that she was about to have a break down...


I didn't get the feeling that this would turn into a love affair, just yet, as they barely know each other and haven't seen much of one another. The OP doesn't appear to possess a martyr complex that I know of according to his posting and is careful about his friend's sensitivity (understanding from his own experiences), what he is doing is very humane. I don't see a problem with it - so far.
 venusenvy777
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 29
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/3/2013 4:39:37 PM
I respect your kindness, compassion and strength. I see that your intentions are good however, maybe you should ask yourself if you are truly qualified to help this person and is this realistically what you want in a relationship. It can be a soul-crushing thing to take on problems beyond your understanding. I wish you good luck with it all.
 csamcsog
Joined: 4/8/2013
Msg: 30
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/21/2013 5:57:22 AM
You met up, she had a break down.

Now you try to meet her down, at the facillity. It will lead to to a break up.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 31
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/24/2013 6:28:37 AM
Op,
I sincerely hope your friend gets the help she needs. Your a stand up guy for trying to help. All you can do is try and support her from a distance. Let the professionals work with her and try to keep the friendship as support system at this point. Good luck and best wishes.
 ryuoki
Joined: 3/13/2013
Msg: 32
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/24/2013 7:52:58 AM

Psychiatric hospitals do not allow cell phones ....


Some do, as long as it does not have a camera usually.

Also some wards have a community phone everyone can make/receive calls on. Depends the severity of the patient that determines whether or not nurses allow them to make/receive phone calls. Usually the ones on strict rules are either a danger to themselves or to others. As long as the patient remains decent around others in the ward they have a bit of freedom to do as they like within ward schedule. If she is getting text messages leave it at that.

Converse with her as you feel comfortable, my advice is not to push her current condition or reason for being there unless she is comfortable enough with you to discuss. Otherwise treat her like any other time you have spoken to her. Likely give her good things to think about when she is released and just be a friend for now. Things happen in peoples lives and this sort of stuff occurs. As long as there is life, there is opportunity to grow. Even a broken tree will try to recover its damaged limb/trunk. If it cannot, it will grow around, but always pushing up and out.
 Itsabigbadworldbaby
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 33
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/24/2013 10:08:52 AM
This happened to me with a female acquaintance. I have to agree with other posters who said in the long run you are better off to sever ties with her. I would visit my friend in the psych ward- and she was put into any number of different hospitals during the time I knew her- and yes you normally can bring them a snack, coffee, a meal and some personal effects if they need any toiletries or what have you. The nurse at the station will simply go through everything before you are allowed to give it to the patient, which was not a problem for me. The problem was in that I found myself being pulled into her problems. She kept getting dumped into the psych wards by the man she lived with, who didn't want to deal with her. After a while, he started attacking me and even started calling me a lesbian and such. So the point is, the woman was totally co-dependent and I think you could be setting yourself up to have this person become co-dependent with you.

As much as you feel sympathy for her, I would start to taper off the contact. I am not trying to be hard, but I have had this scenario with the job too. A guy I hired as a handy man for odd jobs ended up needing a job and I fixed his resume up for him and stuff like that. Then now and then he would call me if he needed to move something or whatever. Eventually I came to find out that he was a thief who stole a lot of money and some nice things from me.

OP, you and I seem to be what I call "people pleasers" and in the process of us focusing on the other person's needs, we are the ones who lose out in many cases. I am recovering now and not allowing others' problems to become my own, except in cases where it is actually a two way street and the other party sometimes supports me while I sometimes support them. I also work in homeless shelters and there they have a policy of using first names only, because of the dangers of one of the guests becoming dependent on one of the staffers. I think it is proper to lay these boundaries and given the very short duration of the friendship, I would perhaps see her through this hospitalization and then gradually taper off the contact. There is nothing in this for you and if you allow her to become dependent on you and then there is no future to the relationship, that puts her in an even worse position in my opinion.

Good luck.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 34
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/24/2013 10:15:52 AM

Inquiring minds want to know, since there isn't much substance in your opening post:
How did you find out she's in a psych ward and what's wrong with her?
You say you've known her for a couple of months, but have only met twice.
You say you speak briefly with her once a week. So how long has she been there? Maybe that will explain why you only met her twice.

Everybody is giving you a pat on the back for sticking around. But I don't like the odds of this blossoming into a love affair in the long run. You met her twice, so you barely know her and as a result you probably didn't see any warning signs that she was about to have a breakdown. I hardly doubt that someone returns to complete normalcy after having a breakdown, especially if she's been in the psych ward of a hospital for weeks or months. She will probably have to take meds forever to control her swings in behavior. On top of that, you said you suffered from depression in the past, so you had your own emotional issues to deal with. Are you up for the challenge of trying to date her afterwards-because it will be a big challenge.
reserve compassion for friends-she is basically a stranger w/ mentall illness, not that there is anything to be ashamed of, but if you don't run like hell, you are the one who needs their head examined!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 35
Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/24/2013 11:38:38 AM
First, I have to agree that some things in this story do not quite hang together, but then again we are talking about
hospital policies and I suspect there may be some variation in that.
Then, I also commend the OP for his concern.
Bottom line, to me, is how would you handle the situation with a friend who wound up in the hospital because of pneumonia, chest pains, appendicitis?

I think that quite often what gets labeled as severe depression/"nervous breakdown" is nothing more than a case of severe exhaustion, often brought on by stress.
I think I would also want to know more about this alleged job loss due to the breakdown. While I am sure that there are many small businesses that cah hire and fire people as it suits them to do so, many employees in the US are covered by various laws and policies that prohibit outright termination of an employee for a medical problem and there is not a lot of immediate differentation between physical and mental illness( discrimination/differentation comes into play more with insurance and "disability accommodation " issues,not the immediate onset of the illness).

I would say, just be a friend, and exercise the same caution you would in any new friendship where there suddenly arises some crisis with the person. ( Don't lend any money or sign anything,LOL).
Hope everything works out OK for both of you.
Cindy O
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 36
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Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/28/2013 12:07:39 AM
Ok.. you invested how much of your life with this person? 2 dates and all of a sudden you are rushing to her aid... dude.. it may seem harsh... if she wound up in the hospital cuz of a break down AFTER the second date, not casting aspersions on you or her, step away.... larger issues abound here.


Why? well bucko, unless you are a masochist, run like your hair is on fire,and the devil is chasing you. IT'S NOT YOUR ISSUE. You stick around much longer and it WILL be your issue... nuff said.

Then I imagine we will see you back asking for more advice....


do as you wish, do not complain about the grave you dig for yourself...


 cesska
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 37
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Female I met up with had a breakdown
Posted: 4/28/2013 12:18:06 AM
rescuers get hurt
my sister is bi polar, paranoid, schizo
and has ruined every ones life she has come in contact with
run
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