Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 35
When to kissPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Teen uncle told me always dance with the ugly ones cause they'll let you feel them up a little....I came back from the dance and said "Uncle" I guess every girl there thought they were ugly, even the pretty ones.
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 36
view profile
When to kiss
Posted: 9/21/2013 10:53:03 AM
I'm old now and tend to expect a kiss on the first or 2nd date, if I'm sure it's a date. Sometimes friendships can have blurry lines and it's not always possible to tell if the other person thinks it's a date. However, when I was younger the way to mentally turn me on was to ask if it was okay to kiss me. I married one of those. Did divorce him years later.
Joined: 7/11/2013
Msg: 39
When to kiss
Posted: 10/9/2013 6:52:12 PM

When to kiss

I like to stick my tongue down his throat immediately upon introduction. Saves all the anxiety over the big question of 'when do I kiss her/him', and usually makes for a great date!
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 40
view profile
When to kiss
Posted: 11/26/2013 11:58:29 PM

I like to stick my tongue down his throat immediately upon introduction.

Geez Krazy where have you been all my life? "Throat to tongue, ready when you are!"
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 41
When to kiss
Posted: 12/4/2013 12:05:11 AM
I'm old now and tend to expect a kiss on the first or 2nd date, if I'm sure it's a date.

That's exactly it. Very very few will not want a kiss by the end of a 2nd evening Date, if they actually have interest in them. When the guy's nervous & chasing and doesn't want to blow it -- he's always going to think she's one of those very very few, when it always seems uncomfortable to go for one (usually by her subtle accord).

But you have to make SURE it's Actually a Date-Date. A 1st meet in the afternoon with a virtual stranger isn't a Date (it's a meetup). If you're surely on a Date, at the end of the evening, there should be no alarm or boundaries crossed by any means if he goes in for a kiss.

This begs the question, is a bad kiss just as bad if not worse than no kiss?

Great great question. First, a kiss will be bad if you're not a good kisser. It's not acrobatic or the skill of completing a 30 yard pass into double coverage. Bad timing? Sure.

To answer your (modified) question "Is never kissing a girl just as bad if not worse than an awkwardly timed kiss?" It IS worse than an awkwardly timed, imperfectly setting of a kiss. But if/when you are so worried about it, that could be You thinking the timing's bad because your fear of rejection/shunning.

You shouldn't have to Force it -- but what you do is lay out the setting where it can be had... like walking her to her car. If she's shying away and not wanting to kiss, in a day time date, OK. Or possibly a 1st date if her body positioning keeps a distance the whole time, etc. That communicates "I'm not that into you (yet?)". If you get a 2nd evening date, you then go in for it, Yes. It's better than never going for the kiss. If it's That difficult and you worry about scaring her by going in for a kiss because it feels So Not Right -- she's not into you. Either go in to kiss her, or discontinue seeing her immediately. :) (You should go for the kiss; don't be a chicken to potentially shunning)
Joined: 9/18/2012
Msg: 44
When to kiss
Posted: 12/19/2013 6:02:45 AM
Stand behind her and put your arms around her. Start kissing her neck, then work your way around and up to her lips.
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 45
When to kiss
Posted: 12/19/2013 4:12:15 PM

Stand behind her and put your arms around her. Start kissing her neck, then work your way around and up to her lips

We are talking about people who have not yet had a first kiss! Gawd if anyone had ever done what you describe prior to there being some kind of relationship, it would be the last kiss! How creepy.
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 49
When to kiss
Posted: 12/20/2013 3:36:29 PM
"The guy has gotta go for the first kiss at least by the 3rd date."
Harmony, you gotta be kidding us, right?
Any man who doesn't want to lip-lock you needs to be checked for a pulse, and I don't mean after three dates :)
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 54
view profile
When to kiss
Posted: 12/21/2013 12:48:08 PM
I usually know when a kiss will happen by the feel of attraction between the two of us, and for the most part, women will let you know when they want that kiss, or even better when they will initiate it!!

Got to enjoy those assertive women that will let you know what they like, when, and then show you!!

Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 55
When to kiss
Posted: 12/22/2013 2:49:41 PM
on the phone, I would probably say something similar and end it with “as appealing as you are, I will not kiss on the first date, or put out (see what I just did there) and no matter how much you ask it will not happen (challenge set)”.

Actually, I have said something like this early on in a date where the gal had interest leading up to it and during it... she came forward about being apprehensive about guys and wanting too much, etc... so I did pretty much what you said... the way of conveying it + it being the challenge (while being the Opposite of pressure), made her go into turbo-charge mode at the end (think Piggy & Kermy). However, I could see that turning certain girls off a bit, so it's a bit of a (low-end) risk.

The original question "when"? Well, my uncle always said not to until you've "checked her oil" first. So when you walk her to her car, you slip your hands "down there" to check for things like hidden fupas, overgrown wool, and the like. If she starts strongly squirming, she's just testing you because women don't like weak guys, so you just hold her down from the backside and tell her to have patience -- and if necessary do the kiss then to ease the tension.

But I don't know if that was the wisest advice ever received from an elder...
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 56
When to kiss
Posted: 12/22/2013 3:02:09 PM
If there's a strong mutual attraction/connection, I'd expect a kiss on the first date. If I don't kiss you at the end of a first date, odds are slim to none that there's going to be a 2nd date. My guy was so nervous on our first date that he didn't want to chance messing anything up by trying to kiss me and moving too fast. I was itching to kiss him by the middle of the date! By the end of the night, I could wait on him no longer, and just grabbed his face and planted one on him.

If the vibes are good, go for it.
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 58
view profile
When to kiss
Posted: 12/24/2013 6:42:40 PM
WHEN TO KISS???????....My most memorable and best was just as we even met, this gentleman asked if it would be OK with me if I was willing to share a kiss meeting for the first time.....mind you we talked for months. In fact, we had on each cheek....after supper he got one on the lips when we parted to go home...after a year...he still gets those kisses, anytime he wants....JUST ASK!!!!!
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 60
view profile
When to kiss
Posted: 12/25/2013 9:28:24 PM
Wow I thought I was shy and timid.

A kiss is a kiss, hell follow the KISS method (Keep It Simple Stupid) it's a feeling, I can tell when a girl wants to kiss or not and a simple kiss goodnight is usually expected, a light peck on the lips or the cheek depending on the girl doesn't cause much drama.

I did go on a date with one girl who freaked out the next day because we gave each other a kiss goodnight, a simple peck on the lips freaked her out because she doesn't kiss guys she's not in a relationship with. Me being a guy who's pretty affectionate and passionate needless to say whatever me and her had didn't last long.

Anyway it's just a feeling, I can tell when a girl wats to kiss by her body language, how she reacts to me, how close she gets to me. I'm not great at reading girls but I know when a woman wants to kiss or not. I don't believe there should be a schedule either when it comes to it. I've never had a female tell me what date she wants to start kissing.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >