Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > The unspoken three day rule      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 SweetnSmart1
Joined: 12/6/2012
Msg: 21
view profile
History
The unspoken three day rulePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I don't think there is an "answer." This is actually very common. Someone once compared online dating to shopping in a candy store. You see someone you like, then someone else comes along who seems "better," so you start talking to the new person and forget about the first peson. Rude and not very nice, but it happens all the time. That is when you just move on.
 SpringMataLeao
Joined: 10/12/2012
Msg: 22
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/10/2013 10:17:07 AM
I was on this site back in 2006 and 2007. Most of the meets ended in sex, and FWB situations. Only one actual relationship came from the site (and that started with a blowjob in the movie theatre on our first date)

If you want to get laid, or you want to pay the way for someone elses child..then this is the site for you. If you want a real relationship, try other sites or meeting people in person.
 twelfth_dimension
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 23
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/16/2013 8:14:53 AM
1. How long is a good time to chat online before you suggest meeting in person? I'm a bit timid when it comes to making the first move, and both my meet offline experiences were initiated by the woman.


You need to step out of your shell and ask to meet them. Most people have short attention spans, especially when you are bombarded daily with an influx of new emails. People do not form attachments to pictures and text -- the person behind them has no real substance or humanity until you have met them, thus they are easy to dismiss.


2. How many times do you message someone before it crosses the line into being pushy? I generally send one reply and if I don't hear back anymore, I simply assume she's not interested. Right or wrong?


It depends. Sometimes I forget to write because I get too busy. Sometimes I am genuinely not interested. Again, you are pictures and text -- not a person until you meet.
 last_chance_2012
Joined: 11/17/2012
Msg: 24
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/16/2013 6:57:45 PM
If you want a real relationship, try other sites or meeting people in person.


had a long profile describing myself, my interests, etc , and now, ive lost interest maybe because I haven't had any luck ?
I've tried other sites like rsvp, oasis active, eHarmony, and now plenty of fish,

none of them have worked so far

And meeting people in person ,is like, impossible for me (dating wise of course)

 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 25
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/18/2013 12:02:21 PM

Again, I'm not talking about simply making the first contact here. I've had conversations that go well. Day one the conversation goes well. Day two it goes well, and she seems interested. Day three, MIA. Or sometimes there is a third day of engaging conversation before she goes MIA.

Why go through the trouble of sounding interested in the first place?


I understand what you have experience above. It happened to me as well. The key to this problem is a huge divide between what happens before you meet in person and afterwards. You are spending too much time with the crap that happens before you meet.

So before you meet, your objective is not to talk, to tell your life story. F vck NO. Your objective is quickly make her feel comfortable so you can set up a meeting. There are techniques that facilitate this. Also, unless you are super suave on the phone. Do not use it. Yes, it's very important to get her phone number right after you set up the meeting. And it's important that you talk (not text). But that phone call should last 15 minutes. Remember, whatever you say before you meet over the phone, is now stuff you cannot say in person. So don't use all your stories, all your anecdotes, all that crap that defines what is your life until is done LIVE. Why is that? When you say them live, it amplifies attraction. When you say them over the phone, they mean nothing.

Also, when on email stage, do not send long winded emails, make them quick and short, about something you have in common, something visual that you want to share (not your d ick), something interesting about her life that you want to ask, and always end with questions. He/she who ask the questions, controls the conversation.
 Crsdan57
Joined: 7/25/2012
Msg: 26
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/18/2013 12:49:03 PM
The problem with this site as is with many online dating sites is that you don't know who is a fake, who is a troll and who gets off jerking people around. So the goal, in my opinion, is to meet as soon as possible. I understand soon as possible is not an exact time however, each contact is going to be different. I would always ask, usually in the first contact, what was her meeting time frame. Some would respond that they like to email/talk for a while and some would meet immediately. I wasn't suggesting a meet I was just trying to understand her frame of mind. I would be open to any time frame however, if they wanted to email/talk for a while I would be less optimistic about the possibilities.
 BlueEyedBlon3000
Joined: 3/15/2013
Msg: 27
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/21/2013 5:05:52 PM
I personally do not like conversing online, a couple of exchanges and I would like to meet in person and i would be happy to answer all your questions IN PRERSON. if after 3-4 emails you are not inviting me for drinks I lose interest. I'm not into pan-pal thing...
 SILLYGIRL111
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 28
view profile
History
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/23/2013 2:19:56 PM
I would meet right away. A few E.mails and one phone call to get the feel of a person to see if you should meet them.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 29
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/26/2013 7:44:38 PM
Op, This is a hard one to answer. You will find a mixed bag of views on dating. Some people feel shortly after a few emails, then get a number and set up a date. There are others that want to chat you to death before meeting. If they are losing interest quickly I would assume its boring emails or you just want a chat buddy. So if it's not working your way, try stepping it up to meet more quickly. On line dating is not for everyone.

Please do not take offence to the posters here, they are trying to give you some helpful tools that may help you. Good luck and best wishes.
 y0uandi
Joined: 2/18/2013
Msg: 30
The unspoken three day rule
Posted: 4/28/2013 11:29:01 AM

1. How long is a good time to chat online before you suggest meeting in person? I'm a bit timid when it comes to making the first move, and both my meet offline experiences were initiated by the woman.


I'd suggest after a few message back and forth. Don't waste too much time being a penpal, if you're here to date, date. If she's one of those "I won't meet anyone till a few weeks of chatting online first" you're wasting your time.


2. How many times do you message someone before it crosses the line into being pushy? I generally send one reply and if I don't hear back anymore, I simply assume she's not interested. Right or wrong?


Wrong, though this is all depending. She might have gone off line and may respond the next day. But referring back to your first question, this is why you should only send a few messages before trying to exchange numbers.


But after two or three days, they never speak again. It is a frustrating experience that plays out time and time again.


This is because you're taking too long. If you've sent a few messages back and forth, try exchanging numbers. Otherwise she'll get over it and move on. You have to understand that while she is messaging you, most likely she's messaging other guys too. If you wait too long, another guy will move in and you'll get c*ck blocked.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > The unspoken three day rule