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 OrdinaryMan66
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 26
Education and Career... Why ? Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
People who prefer other people have an "education" are just advertising their preferences. Like everything else, there is no guarantee that someone outside their stated preference zone will not be compatible or have chemistry. These folks are simply limiting their potential pool of suitors, which they are of course free to do. I am reminded of the comedy series Frasier, where Niles, who was in a crappy, loveless marriage with an educated society gal, was really helplessly in love with Daphne.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 27
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History
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/8/2013 9:24:11 PM
OP...Why doesn't everyone just take a random number and throw it in a hat and pick a mate that way?
I'm not a robot but a thinking human being. I don't need to apologize for expecting a potential mate to have certain qualities and to have achieved a level of success in society. I found my man after seeking what I was after. He is fit , cultured and educated. I want someone I can share a healthy lifestyle with who has interests beyond football, motorcycles and pizza.
 The_Curvy_Doll
Joined: 12/14/2012
Msg: 28
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:51:31 AM
Because a man's education and earning power (in other words, his status) has a lot to do with how high is value is perceived by women. If he has a high income job it is to his benefit to advertise that because it can compensate for other areas that he may be lacking, such as height and facial attractiveness. It's the same way that women are largely valued by their physical appearance. I am not saying a man's job and a woman's appearance are the only things that matter, but they are certainly noted during the attraction phase.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 29
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Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 9:23:09 AM

I am reminded of the comedy series Frasier, where Niles, who was in a crappy, loveless marriage with an educated society gal, was really helplessly in love with Daphne.


The reference is to a comedy show that is fiction. No idea who Daphne is but in real life some married guys fall for some pretty girl and then learn 'nothing there' to sustain a relationship.
Sure we can find love in many places but we all have experience in life. If you go golfing you don't randomly hit a ball with some random club in some random direction. Sure. you might still get a hole-in-0ne but the odds are lower than focusing in on what the goal is and applying an appropriate strategy.
 liftnw8z2
Joined: 11/12/2012
Msg: 30
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 9:43:59 AM
Career and education = dollars. Sadly in my dating experience it has turned into "how much free stuff can I get out of liftnw8z2?" as a result. My people picker isn't always the best.
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 31
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Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 9:50:42 AM
^^^^

I've had the reverese experience. Well educated women I've met are looking for a caring, respectful man who can carry on a conversation about things they are interested in. Understandably they are more likely to find compatability in someone who is also well educated. On our first date my girlfriend and I discussed everything from kids cartoons to Russian authors to favorite candy to classical music. People 'click'.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 32
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 10:08:08 AM
Well, it's about the weeding process. When online, people are more understandably more in statistical weeding mode -- because you aren't a person, just a profile (at first). Some can go too far obviously -- that's all too common to go too far.

But if a woman wants a guy who finished college and has a middle-income job, or a guy who has a Great job because they statistically fit in her tastes AND compatibility ranges, then that's Good to do. Sure, I'm sure many of them recognize there's of course exceptions and it's not exact. But they don't owe any guy anything to give all men who don't a chance to find out amongst that statistical minority of matchability -- when they have more than enough options anyway, ya know?

As far as hobbies/interests/lifestyle's concerned, I could see maybe a Type of job Sometimes being a side thing to possibly shed light on those. And certain jobs -- like traveling sales guys or types of jobs where you have to work a billion hours a week -- to weed out.

As long as the gal has a Lot of options otherwise, there's nothing wrong at all about her skipping over certain criterias that you may fall into. It's about her -- not you.

Now, if she's isolating it to something too specific where she gets few options or it's not statistically accurate as she thinks it is, then yeah, she's not helping anyone out, including herself.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 33
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 6:26:49 PM
mike 12620- I'm trying to answer this question without sounding elitist or stuck up, but education/career choice matters because of compatibility.
A vast difference in income and/or intelligence doesn't make a good match.
I love to read and to learn and I am fascinated by science and history. I've actually been called a geek for that.
Once I asked a date what was the one thing he would do, if he could, to change the world. His answer- "I don't care, as long as I get my paycheck on Friday, that's all that matters to me."
Were we a match? I think not.
 GhostJaguar
Joined: 3/5/2013
Msg: 34
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:11:22 PM

see many profiles here of women always listing "preferences" related to education and career and I can never understand to seem why really. To me your education and career is something that completely has nothing to do with chemistry or compatibility.


If you honestly think that 'chemisty' or 'compatibility' have ANYTHING to do with it, I have a bottle of red pills I'd like to share with you. Sadly, I somehow doubt that you would ever even consider them. And no, I'm not talking about pharmaceuticals.

It's so they can judge how much $$$$ you make. Plain and simple, cut and dried.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 35
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:47:19 PM
OP~ At my place in life atm it has alot to do with it. Not what someone makes financially but their ability to maintain a stable life, with my peer group, is paramount to who I will engage with. For if they haven't learned how to do so by now, it's not likely to ever happen. A roller coaster of self created drama is something most of us tend to steer clear from.
 Space_Weaver
Joined: 11/27/2012
Msg: 36
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:56:15 PM
Just because someone has an expensive piece of paper on a wall from a university doesn't make you smart, yet some that I have come across seem to challenge this counter. Look under 'Gardner's 8 Theories of Intelligence'; I'm a huge believer in this. Intelligence can acquired in many ways, whether it be innate from birth, and or can be acquired through life experiences. It's not all encapsulated within a 4 years degree and a diploma.



So no, I don't judge a person on how, or what type of education they have.
 jc91607
Joined: 1/21/2013
Msg: 37
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 9:37:22 PM
Education and career are two qualities a person can reasonably control. If anything, we should be celebrating people who value education and careers over things that are beyond a person's control like height and race.
 newonthescene76
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 38
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Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/9/2013 9:49:59 PM
For me, I want a man that is highly educated. It has nothing to do with how much he makes, as I am also highly educated, but more a way of life. I pretty much have always dated blue-collar high school educated men (there was one that had a BA). None of these men were even remotely interested in intellectual pursuits. Were they smart? Yes, they were smart in their own way or I would not have dated them. But I also know that if I suggested going to a museum, a lecture, or to read a book, it was always a "hell no." I want someone that enjoys learning and is interested in new things.

As far as career, my goal has always been to get an education that would enable me to have a career in which I can live anywhere in the world. I would want any future partner to be able to do this with me. He would need to have a flexible career, skill set, and enough education to be granted a work visa (or be valuable enough to a US company with global offices). So for me, career and education are very important.

Now, if I happened to find someone who was very cerebral, that was willing and able to live globally, but did not have a higher degree (journalists and writers come to mind), then I would rethink my position.
 PugDude1971
Joined: 2/13/2013
Msg: 39
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/10/2013 7:05:18 AM
I don't mind such a demand it because I have a master's degree:)

I like smart people and consider having a college degree to be a good indicator of said smarts. It's not that complicated... I might be a bit flexible if the woman's profile is well-written and demonstrates a certain level of maturity and sophistication. But I don't care how good looking you are... if your profile is replete with spelling mistakes, bad grammar, and childish slang, I'm going to pass.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 40
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Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/10/2013 8:35:17 AM

Just because someone has an expensive piece of paper on a wall from a university doesn't make you smart, yet some that I have come across seem to challenge this counter. Look under 'Gardner's 8 Theories of Intelligence'


Who said anything about intelligence? We all know very intelligent people (my father) who are not well educated. I am interested in a well educated man because of his outlook on issues and not because of grey matter. I'm sure there are uneducated guys with high IQ's who can quote intricate football stats...in contrast I want one who is familiar with fine arts, other cultures, languages and literature.

I agree with a above post that 'career' is not just about career. It's also shows the ability to have been responsible in life and prioritize what's important. Hit the library rather than the bar...invest in a house at 25 rather than a muscle car.

If we want a needle we don't look in haystack but in the sewing department.
 LatticeMatrix
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 41
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/10/2013 10:15:13 AM
I am one of those wacky kids who finished their undergraduate (Suma by the way.) and fell in that category that says you make a little bit too much for any real aid for graduate coursework. I later obtained a scholarship, that is due to expire any day now. However, one thing I learned during my internship, the only thing education is good for is general understanding. One half of your real education comes from actual work, the other half is pure networking and who you know.

And that is what I feel people are asking when they are looking for specific educational requirements. They are silently saying: "Are you part of our club."
I'm not. It's far too pretentious, and I wage a vast majority of you guys have worked for managers who had their positions because of who they knew + Educational requirements....Meanwhile had no functional abilities regarding their position whatsoever. (Aside from shifting blame from poor decisions, and reveling in their mediocre power.)


I am am also one of those people who believes that given certain environmental variables, anyone is capable of anything. So what I am getting at is I agree with the OP to some extent. It's wildly inaccurate to assume that because a person has finished school they would be more likely to be interested in the arts, music, and intellectual pursuit, when it was my experience that the majority of students were there for anything but.

The love for the beauty in life, being it existentialist, curiosity of the human condition, art, music , history, etc can't be taught. We can learn about the various idiosyncrasies, but to enjoy them, to find interest in them, ipso facto, comes from within.....
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 42
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 6:58:39 PM
You can have all the education in the world and still be dumb(No common sense)..I like a woman with common sense.There is a big difference in the two. I work in mechanical insulation for the last 28 years.I love it and the people i work with.I have no college education,But i do have a trade that has done me very well. Also just because a person has a degree does not mean there is gurantee for a high paying job.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 43
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 7:43:06 PM

I've had the reverese experience. Well educated women I've met are looking for a caring, respectful man who can carry on a conversation about things they are interested in. Understandably they are more likely to find compatability in someone who is also well educated. On our first date my girlfriend and I discussed everything from kids cartoons to Russian authors to favorite candy to classical music. People 'click'.


That is a great explanation. I have dated some really smart guys that had a high school or trade diploma, and while they were smart, they just didn't seem to have the interests in some of the more intellectual persuits. My guy and I can talk about odd topics incliuding urban planning theories and the utopian city, He works in the planning area and I have the education but never worked in the field so I am the idealist. We both have the same fascination with architecture that we learned in school so wandering through the downtown of a city looking at the buildings and discussing the history of the area makes an awesome day. I have never had that experience before and would never again settle for less. So education has become a requirement for me.
 mrnova66
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 44
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:05:36 PM
I agree^^^^But let me add just because a person that does not have a degree can also have the knowlege(SP)of these topics..I am also a history buff..If i came up to any average self proclaim smart person could not tell me where the slain word for a dollar bill(buck) came from. Or how the Teddy Bear got its name. I could go on forever. But at the same time i am sure the average proclaim smart woman would not hit it off with me either.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 45
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:13:58 PM

mike 12620- I'm trying to answer this question without sounding elitist or stuck up, but education/career choice matters because of compatibility.
A vast difference in income and/or intelligence doesn't make a good match.


you appear to conflate or confuse education & intelligence..first you say education, then intelligence. they are not the same thing
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 46
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:18:08 PM

.in contrast I want one who is familiar with fine arts, other cultures, languages and literature.


well..not necessarily ..there are many university degrees now that are more like a trade school or career college, Computer Science, engineering, medical, dental, nursing, etc.

these people with college degrees may well not have a well-rounded education including exposure to the arts, at all

plenty of people in college are not "really" interested in learning and knowledge..they may only be grade-grubbers who memorize enough to pass exams then forget everything..or people taking a break from reality and having their parents pay for it..delay facing the real world for another 4 or 5 or more years

to wit, the thousands in "journalism school" when there are maybe dozens of actual jobs available for 'journalists' each year, unless you count writing for the weekly shopper at 5 or 10 cents a word. thousands of kids going to teacher's college when there are NO jobs in schools..thousands who have graduated in the past 10 years till do not have fulltime employment in the field
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 47
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:25:06 PM

well..not necessarily ..there are many university degrees now that are more like a trade school or career college, Computer Science, engineering, medical, dental, nursing, etc.


Most, if not all, universities now require that students in the "hard sciences" and business take humanities courses so that they have a well-rounded education. This came from employers complaining that they couldn't take their science geeks and accountants anywhere because they couldn't carry on a social conversation.
 whippedboi
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 48
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 8:35:20 PM
^^

I'm guessing that likely a high percentage of people in these programs don't have a "real" interest in those topics and take the course only because they are REQUIRED to take them.. and in many cases do only the minimum necessary to pass the courses, then forget about it

there's no real substitute for genuine enthusiasm & interest
 LatticeMatrix
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 49
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/13/2013 11:09:55 PM
Most, if not all, universities now require that students in the "hard sciences" and business take humanities courses so that they have a well-rounded education. This came from employers complaining that they couldn't take their science geeks and accountants anywhere because they couldn't carry on a social conversation.

^Lies
I've worked for 3 regionally accredited universities over the past 6 years. And neither the one I am at now, which just went through a major academic overhaul due to department of education legislation, nor any of the others require any such thing.

The presumptions here are pompous, seemingly endless, and do little more than create a self serving pat on the back for those who want a cooking for having went to school.
 Single_Dad_Dave
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 50
Education and Career... Why ?
Posted: 4/14/2013 5:32:58 AM

The presumptions here are pompous, seemingly endless, and do little more than create a self serving pat on the back for those who want a cooking for having went to school.


No. Not really. I'm 48. I have a law degree. I deal with doctors, engineers, architects, economists, and other professionals on a daily basis. I own a business. I do a lot of negotiating, understanding human dynamics and working on positioning issues, so that we can come up with a win/win situation, even though a lot of my work is a zero sum game. Honestly, I don't have much in common with someone that is nearly 50 years old and a grocery store clerk. They can be the nicest person in the world, we can have a good chat, but in the long run, we won't be compatible.

Intelligence and education are not the same thing. But come on, there does tend to be a connection between the two. Can we honestly say that all the lower intelligence people are going on to get college and graduate degrees, while the highly intelligent work in labor and blue collar jobs, ignoring education? That's downright stupid.

I will say that I've noticed education levels tend to fall along the lines of what you're used to. If you come from a blue collar family, you're more likely to grow up to be blue collar, because that's what you see. If you come from an educated family, you're more likely to be educated. Because that's what you see and there's an expectation there. That cultural expectation has little to do with education.

Mostl of my friends are business owners or are self employed. I didn't plan it that way, it's just who I have more in common with. Doesn't matter the type of business, bar owner, body shop, painter (some friends), but I have more in common with them than people who don't run a business.

Likewise, I have more in common with people with a moderate amount of education, than don't.

When people are young, I cut them a ton of slack. While I have a Juris Doctorate degree, I didn't graduate high school or go to college. I do extremely well on standardized tests and was able to test out of undergrad (except for 3 classes, which I picked up in a summer session of night school). But if someone is in their 40's and hasn't taken at least a few college courses, I can pretty much be certain that we won't have enough in common to date.
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