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 SambaDeUmaNotaSo
Joined: 11/6/2012
Msg: 26
Long distance datingPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Long distance relationships can and do work.

For that to happen, there has to be an ongoing connection, even if the bodies aren't together.

That means phone and/or skype, in additional to a flurry of consistent emails.

In my case, the woman was in Brasil, and I was in the United States. Within two months of us meeting online, she came to the U.S. to meet me. After that, I flew to Brasil, and in between, we always maintained daily contact.

A 5 month delay when you are both so close to each other geographically is rather surprising.

In any event, if the people involved prioritize regular contact along with actual in the flesh visits, long distance relationships can certainly work.

Boa sorte! :)
 CyclistWill77
Joined: 3/6/2009
Msg: 27
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History
Long distance dating
Posted: 1/7/2014 9:41:12 PM
LDRs can work. I know two couples who found a way. One friend lived in Ca and she lived in Arizona, they knew each other from college They have been married for 7 years now. Another couple I know, he lived in Texas, and she in Ca. They got married 4 years ago. I think its all a matter of wanting and finding a way to make it work.
 msu0812
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 28
Long distance dating
Posted: 1/9/2014 6:27:04 AM
I highly believe they can swing either way! The good thing is that you aren't STATES away! I think one of the biggest things in making relationships actually work is open and honesty and LOTS of communication. I don't mean like every waking moment communication just open and honest communication. Don't be afraid to say or show what you are feeling just as him as well. If you hide anything it comes out in the end, you've got to be in touch and in sync I believe to make it work miles apart.

Go along for the ride, it doesn't hurt to try and what is the worst that will happen? It won't work? You never know where the road leads and what can come of it. Good luck! :)
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 29
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History
Long distance dating
Posted: 1/14/2014 7:08:16 PM

I've never really dated 2 people at the same time. I know neither has asked ( way too early) to be exclusive but I am really wondering about sex. I would not feel right having sex with 2 people but how does a person know who they want to be exclusive with unless that happens?

Don't wait for them to ask. You need to be the one to bring it up. There isn't an easy way to do it.


If you get involved in in two LDR, there is not much reason to be exclusive. Be discrete and enjoy both of them. They don't need to know about each other.

I heartily disagree with this.

I am not conventionally monogamous. I have had open relationships for the last 6 years. I can do monogamy, I can do open, and I haven't really had the chance to do a polyamorous relationship as of yet.

Rule #1... don't keep secrets, don't lie. You're much better off saying "hey, we haven't had the 'let's be exclusive' talk yet, and I'm not sure we are at that point to do that right now... I just want you to know that I have been talking with someone else and we've been spending time together... I'm not sure where it's going... I like both of you a lot... I thought you should know" as opposed to hiding it. And then be prepared to talk further about it.

Everyone gets tested, everyone uses condoms. No discussion or debate about this.

The only thing I won't do is invite two different men into my bed. I'm dating someone now, and we have an open relationship (altho I admit I am greedy and I don't really want to share him with anyone else). I have assured him that I will NOT be bringing another man into my bed. I did that in a previous relationship and it made me feel all kinds of weird about it, and I won't subject myself or another partner to it again. I'll happily go to another's bed though.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 30
Long distance dating
Posted: 1/16/2014 10:56:34 AM

Do you feel a long distance relationship can actually work.

Depends on how far away, and what Type of people are involved. *Can* work? Given the right situations, yes. Same with a "hall pass" for married couples, too -- among other not-so-advised ideas. :)

He lives about 2 1/2 hours from me and we get along great so far.

Okay, so I would say this is the "minor league" of LD -- driveable distance. More viable, but...

We have been chatting on line for 5 months and plan on meeting soon, but there still will not seeing each other accept every 2 weeks.

5 months and never meeting? LOL. You're within driving distance. There isn't much enthusiasm there. More like wanting a pen-pal. Not. Good.

If he lived 20 hours away, that'd be more understandable. But before you meet -- you're not Dating or remotely close to it. Unless you get off on being pen-pals with someone, which would be really Sad.

The best way would not to be long distance DATING on real LD, but more like friends-but-more-than-friends. Keeping in touch, and while both single, when both schedules coincide, you meet up and spend a weekend or whatever together. And if THAT continues for a while, then perhaps you can start DATING *after* one of you starts positioning themselves to move out toward the other one in the not-so-distant future, while you are still seeing each other as much as possible.

But 2.5 hours? Yeah. A great OMG-catch between you two, sure. 5 months and never met? Not good. That's not dating if you haven't met before, regardless of whatever co-self-stimulating endeavors you've had over the phone with them. You can end up Dating 2.5 hours away, but you need to have seen each other several times already before you could take it as actually Dating.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 31
Long distance dating
Posted: 1/23/2014 1:24:56 AM
Dont it and nope it doesnt work.....get tired of huggin a phone...rather she be with-in some proximity!...lol
 greatwhitecanbear
Joined: 8/13/2013
Msg: 32
Long distance dating
Posted: 1/24/2014 1:26:16 PM

I tend to like someone who's not down the street from me....then I don't feel suffocated, he doesn't feel suffocated, and we can actually enjoy our time together and have things to talk about, do, see, etc.

Its all about trust, and level of commitment. Some people need to see each other every day because they don't trust each other, or they're emotionally dependent/attached, or something else.


I agree. Trust and commitment. I vacation dated my ex for 4 years with her in Germany and me in Canada and the US. We were together for 6 years and called it quits because she really just wasn't happy in north america and for family reasons I didn't want to leave the continent.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 33
Long distance dating
Posted: 1/30/2014 2:50:48 AM
Been there,done that!.......wont again...dont like huggin a phone!
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 34
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History
Long distance dating
Posted: 7/26/2018 3:15:49 AM
EASY over the phone or these days texting.....it's when you spend enough time together that tells the tail!.....goooood luck!
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