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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Clingy?      Home login  
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 16
Clingy?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

I like how girls are so freaked out that a guy is nervous and probably just being honest about it - maybe throwing in a few cheesy lines thinking it will make a girl think he's being caring about them. And then the other girl posts "10 minutes after the date he told me he liked me and asked what I thought of him" OH THE HORROR!!!

Horror? It was more of a turn-off than anything from the beginning of how he conducted himself to the end of the meet.

Despite that, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt and still met him over coffee.

Not surprisingly, he turned out to be a basket case. .. Reaffirming that my gut feelings about his initial behavior were not wrong.

The guys I have met off here who handled my decline for further dates well - not one of them have ever demonstrated any of these clingy behaviours. None of these men have ever called me any names. They handled it with grace like any sane and well-adjusted person would.

That was all I wanted to point out to OP.

Yet, of course, the choice is yours OP. ... The guy could be a total sweetheart and just "nervous" or maybe he simply wants to impress you with how "loving and caring" he can be from the get go. Perhaps give him a shot and come back and tell us how it went.

Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 17
view profile
Posted: 4/8/2013 12:10:18 PM
LMAO........Come on woman, can't you see the foundation being laid here to get into your pants as soon as possible because this man is horny, lonely, and using whatever he can to convince you that he is authentic....;)

I find it funny coming from a woman about a man being so called clingy in your mind because he is trying to have one and only one to concentrate on for his romantic adventures. Most women will do that to men, and if we call them clingy, we are tagged as players......go figure!!

Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 18
Posted: 4/8/2013 12:26:16 PM

If he keeps it up over the next few days, I won't

This. You're already not liking the guy, he makes you feel uncomfortable enough
that you start a thread about it.Don't meet him. Or do meet him and then come back
with all the drama of even more clingyness.

It's not rocket science. It's also possible (for most people) to act enthusiastic without
being creepy about it. He's creepy.

Why bother waiting a few more days?
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 19
Posted: 4/8/2013 3:52:26 PM

Hmmm...I'm wondering who is crazier at this point.

lol, no kidding!

I dont know, I just am generally the kind of person that likes to give folks the benefit of the doubt. I remember how awkward I felt when I first started dating again and I was blessed to have good friends to coach me on what to do and not to do. Some people don't. I just wish BOTH men and women would understand that clinginess is NOT attractive.
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 20
Posted: 4/8/2013 4:20:27 PM
Thanks for all the responses and yes, there has been more than one person act this way. This one from here and one from match. I'm NOT assuming all men are this way, believe me, I DO know better!

In the two years since being single again, I have learned to trust my instincts and will most definitely do that. I just wondered what others thought. Thanks again!
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 21
Posted: 4/8/2013 5:27:37 PM
I think you should shoot him. That, or tell his wife(he's got to be a cheater). Or just let him sit on his lazy boy and get fat. Or, he could just be a guy that is a little nervous cause, somebody, somewhere out there in these dirty waters actually answered an email, and agreed to go meet up for a coffee. Ah phuck him anyways. Just shoot him.
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 22
Posted: 4/8/2013 5:47:27 PM
I have talked to a lot of clingy guys from here. They don't appreciate my point of view. I will not decide from online contact if I want a relationship. They seem to have that decided already.
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 23
Posted: 4/8/2013 7:23:03 PM

I have talked to a lot of clingy guys from here. They don't appreciate my point of view. I will not decide from online contact if I want a relationship. They seem to have that decided already.

Thank you!!!
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 24
view profile
Posted: 4/8/2013 7:37:21 PM
OP, that's not clingy, that's downright insecure. Tell him to grow a backbone, then a pair, then come calling.
Joined: 1/29/2013
Msg: 25
Posted: 4/8/2013 10:28:54 PM
You are having a first meet is all and I wouldnt be having that. He is sad and lonely and fantasising about you and maybe you wont meet his expectations in real life and I am pretty sure he wont meet yours. Just a feeling I!
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 26
Posted: 4/8/2013 11:24:20 PM
Please! End communication with this guy.

I was once all ready to meet someone from another site, and he texted me that he "couldn't wait to meet me and touch my fingers."

I cancelled the date. Boundaries are often broken by words alone. If you don't think hearing sentiments like wanting to touch, being in love or emotional attachment are appropriate before you meet a stranger, then stick to your limits. They are there for a reason.
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 27
Posted: 4/9/2013 7:01:53 AM

*mental note: stop messaging women that you want to sniff their hair*

As long as you keep those sentiments to yourself, you're fine. We just don't want to meet men that have diarrhea of the mouth.
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 28
Posted: 4/9/2013 7:35:23 AM

You're already not liking the guy, he makes you feel uncomfortable enough
that you start a thread about it.Don't meet him. Or do meet him and then come back
with all the drama of even more clingyness.

He then must be a real hottie for the op!

Since she is still consumed by him regardless of his mental mo ....... you go girl...... lol
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 29
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:22:22 AM
Op...I recently had a guy do a similiar thing....We made arrangements to meet for lunch the next day.
His e-mails started getting weird...calling me "honey,babydoll and sweety" and I hope we
I called my friend...saying this is weirding me out.
Like "mysteriousstranger"....she said 'Come on...are you just looking for an excuse'???
Ok...fine then...So I wrote back...ignoring the sweet talking and said...'It's just a meet...don't worry...see you tomorrow" and exchanged cell#s

Well...later that night....4 or 5 messages on line and several on my cell....which I didn't receive right away... because I wasn't home and seldom carry my cell....
Would I meet him tonight...he had a room and breakfast for 2 was
Needless to say...I am always going to go with my gut in those circumstances.
I didn't meet him at's just inappropriate and stupid.
I wouldn't meet him.
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 30
view profile
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:33:59 AM
What's weirder than this man being clingy is that the OP still having any contact with him.

These types posts reveal so much about a poster. Is this even a question or a plea for attention? Why in a million years would you meet this man? Are you so desperate?

Any red flag before a meet and a short thank you message then 'block'...
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 31
Posted: 4/9/2013 8:50:11 AM
I'm not "consumed" by him AT ALL. I only asked because it seems to be a pattern with a lot of men on these sites.

Thanks everyone!
Joined: 4/13/2012
Msg: 32
Posted: 4/9/2013 3:27:17 PM
The thing that is a total turn off to me is when a man behaves in such a way that makes him appear that he is so needy to be in a relationship and ANY relationship will do. I want to be chosen, not just clung to out of sheer desperation. On that same note, I absolutely enjoy having that man who chose me (if I chose him as well) tell me how much he likes me.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 33
Posted: 4/9/2013 5:17:46 PM

What is up with men being clingy before you even meet them? I have a date this week with a man from this site and all of a sudden, before we've even met, it's like we're in a relationship already. He's saying things like, "it won't hurt my feelings if you talk me out of this online dating". "just thinking about you when I sleep", "don't back out, please"

That's not like you're in a relationship.... and it's not clingy per se.... it's just that he's scared of you disappearing and he's scaring you away by being like that! An indicator of emotional problems... which yes, indicates that he would be clingy if you started seeing him -- and then some!
Joined: 3/16/2013
Msg: 34
Posted: 4/9/2013 6:48:14 PM
That's hilarious...
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 35
Posted: 4/10/2013 7:23:51 PM
The OP disappeared. She must have thought our posts were too "clingy".
Joined: 3/10/2013
Msg: 36
Posted: 4/10/2013 8:00:20 PM
i think the stalker got her !
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 37
view profile
Posted: 4/11/2013 8:21:45 PM
Some guys are like that and to those guys depending on how clingly I either avoid them or engage them solely to laugh at them. Being 'nervous' in my opinion doesn't excuse behavior that makes me feel unsafe and uncomfortable nor am I interested in having to build up his self-esteem/worth.
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 38
view profile
Posted: 4/11/2013 8:27:06 PM as fast as you can! Big red flag, means, clingy, needy and CONTROLLING! The other side of the coin is,he is playing you, making you believe that he is serious about being a 1 woman man, either way...RUN!
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