Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > She is NOT interested and on POF      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 26
She is NOT interested and on POFPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Single people on POF who are not interested...
In YOU.

That's all it is. Nothing wrong with that. Just move on.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 27
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 4:38:59 PM
Its round 3486 of the whiners club.. all the women conspire to avoid emails from you because we are all just here to stroke our own egos.. did I sum this up right?
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 28
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 4:57:07 PM

I myself have ran across females who say they are NOT interested.


As everyone in the universe except you seems to realize….they’re not interested in YOU.


Not interested can also mean "Not Smart Enough To Know Better" as well. What if a person is not in the position to pass a judgement?..


Um…..*I* am the best person to judge what *I* want.

But you think YOU can judge that women who aren’t interested in you aren’t smart enough to know better?

Wow…..the ego, no wonder you can’t see beyond it, it must weigh a ton.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 29
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:01:29 PM
It means they don't like your pics. There might be something in your profile they don't like as well, but they'll overlook that if they dig your pictures.
 Schatzi2015
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 30
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:20:03 PM
They are on POF looking for the right one. That just doesn't include you.
Being on POF doesn't mean a woman should run after every guy with a profile on here.
Everyone has taste and has a right to pick who & what appeals to them.
Rejection is a part of life... take it and keep it moving.
 tallbrowneyedlady
Joined: 11/22/2012
Msg: 31
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:22:47 PM
Maybe you live too far away from them. Maybe they don't like tattoes. Maybe you're too young, or too old.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 32
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:32:17 PM
+1 tickle
"Tickle.. I hope you don't look at men who show interest in you like they are Jehovah Witnesses knocking on your door.

No Mark, I was making an analogy.

That will leave you single for the rest of you life probably.

As if that would be like the worst thing ever?? What are you saying, that my life is like a dried up empty shell unless there's a man attached to it like a barnacle??

Tickle.. you are also interested in finding true love right?.. ok.. walk up to somebody you are interested in and tell them that you are interested.. and see how far that gets you.

I've done that, actually. It always gets me as far as our *mutual interests* can carry us.

Not interested can also mean "Not Smart Enough To Know Better" as well. What if a person is not in the position to pass a judgement?..


Everyone is always in a position to pass judgment, because the kind of judgment you're talking about here is 100% discretionary. How can you not get that? I'm pretty sure that you'd never approach a woman on POF you weren't interested in getting to know better. How can you say they're too stupid to disagree with you??

It's bloody mind-boggling, is what it is. It's presumptuous, sexist garbage.

This is not rocket science, this is 1st grade simple, social discourse. People always have the same freedom to say "no" to you as you have to ask for whatever you wanted from them. It doesn't matter what the reasons are. It ain't your decision to make.

Yes and it's too bad you aren't getting the action you had hoped for here on POF. Join the whiner's club and take a number."

Some people think every person they message has to oblige and get replies. This its not a candy store for the picking. Op, I think you need to do some searching on self improvement first. Figure out what your best qualities are and learn to express them and use them to your advantage. Get some new pics with a smile that is welcoming. Try taking the shades off. Please stop whining its not becoming to you. Good luck
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 33
view profile
History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:51:53 PM
ManOfAdventure28 wrote:


Unless I'm missing something here, and I'm not, your profile provides all the information that she might need. Age, height, race, profession, marital status, kids etc. Your about me section is your chance to interest her if you make it through the above


Agreed. Most are very shallow. That's why they couldn't make it in the real world, so they come on here hoping to play the online dating lottery, and find that gem of a guy who is:

between 5'11.5" and 6'0.5"
weighs between 200 and 205 lbs.
has an inseam of between 35" and 36"
Blonde hair
Blue eyes
Must be German / British mix.
Makes minimum $200,000.00 / yr.
Drives a Mercedes
Must hate sports
Must love walks in the rain.
Must be within 1 month of my age.
Must live within 2 blocks of my house.

NO TOLERANCE.

OF COURSE they're not interested in 99.9% of all the guys on the planet.
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 34
view profile
History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 5:52:22 PM
Mark, I think the reasons are probably different with each person.
I think we all make snap decisions of yes i am interested or no I'm not, without even thinking about it. We say no to picture after picture without even slowing down to consider. I say "we" meaning men and women. I'm guilty of the same myself. it's like there is something inour brain, that just a glance "tells" us to say no. I wonder why.
I will say this and I am not being intentionally mean. This post of yours is the only one i have seen that didn't seem to be screaming at me and all women, telling us what was wrong with us. Just the way you came across to me.
I think the only way to find the truth is to get off the forums and get out there working it, so to speak. We are all spending hours on the forums and it's not like.y we will find someone here. It's a numbers game. Maybe broaden your search and try to connect with someone who on paper does not seem like your usual type. Paper is one dimensional. It can't really tell you much even when the things stated there are true.
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 35
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:08:47 PM
I think its hilarious.. the amount of yokels.. and i do mean yokels.. decided that it was smart and cool to totally character bash the op, who asked a legitimate question, none of which have been answered.

Youve all done typical girl moves which is to steer the conversation into a direction you're more comfortable with.mmm character bashing.

Despite what some people have said...
- this is a catalogue of people... and what it does do is steal the ability for a guy to turn what might be an uncomfortable meeting into a possibly happy relationship. It steals the reactions and responses to those first words to capture your attention. Txting.. and profiles cant amount to half a person on here. You only ever see the full scope of a person when getting know them.

WHat the op has said is that given a profile and photo, how do you determine a person is not interesting from just looking at photos.. that would be the same as assuming a woman on here with kissy lips sucks**** or tits hanging out means shes dtf...
Its assumptions.. and that how women work off of pof... sad to say yes but thats what it is, when most times people look better or worse offline. Ive had the pleasure and displeasure of meeting people on here and youd never know through txts the great and despicable things until a meeting. Its s hit or miss... and i believe the website was designed to facilitate meetings through common interests, txts and meetings. How am i gonna know if im interested in a person if i dont take the time to find out?

I have noticed that women have far more "control" over whom they speak with or not, which is cool. Because it works the same more or less offline, the difference being risk, and rewards for just saying hi. Id rather they be human with their approach, currently most are not. This is a website has become a means to chase false realities.
This is also a site for attention seekers, because lets be frank, if no one messaged you ladies, youd either ask yourself whats wrong, or go to a different site where you got the attention you needed. No guys messaging you for weeks on end and youd have a problem.

So i think its fair to ask what op has asked..

Personal opinion? Not many women on here know what they want or what interests them; its fantasy, an image of something not based in reality. They are looking for a look, a feeling that is supposed to bypass all the prerequisites and requirements theyve put way ahead of feelings, that is already hard to come by through still photos left to the imagination and dry txts.


the funny thing is you as forum members arent even willing to investigate the matter fully.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 36
view profile
History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:18:50 PM
Seeing something that's a deal breaker and basing my decision not to respond on it is not an assumption.

If a guy is outside of my age range, or I don't date green Martians and he's a green Martian, I'm not interested. Fact, not assumption.

The OP is a whiny, redundant rant. Fact, not assumption.
 Schatzi2015
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 37
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:20:24 PM

I myself have ran across females who say they are NOT interested.


As everyone in the universe except you seems to realize….they’re not interested in YOU.


Not interested can also mean "Not Smart Enough To Know Better" as well. What if a person is not in the position to pass a judgement?..


Um…..*I* am the best person to judge what *I* want.

But you think YOU can judge that women who aren’t interested in you aren’t smart enough to know better?

Wow…..the ego, no wonder you can’t see beyond it, it must weigh a ton.


I agree.
According to the OP women aren't smart enough to know who they want to get to know. LOL
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 38
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:33:26 PM
Agreed. Most are very shallow. That's why they couldn't make it in the real world, so they come on here hoping to play the online dating lottery, and find that gem of a guy who is:

between 5'11.5" and 6'0.5"
weighs between 200 and 205 lbs.
has an inseam of between 35" and 36"
Blonde hair
Blue eyes
Must be German / British mix.
Makes minimum $200,000.00 / yr.
Drives a Mercedes
Must hate sports
Must love walks in the rain.
Must be within 1 month of my age.
Must live within 2 blocks of my house.

Yes, there are two sides to this story. There are shallow guys also that plays the online lotto too. Men wants

between 5'2 and 5'6
weighs between 100 and 125 lbs.
has knockers to be between 34" to 36" with a healthy C/D cup and must be firm with no stretch marks.
Blonde hair that which precisely resembles a run way model
Blue eyes with the makeup that makes her look like the queen of the ball.
She must be totally submissive in the bedroom at a moments notice.
One that expects all of this and then he takes you to McDonalds on the first date.
Then one that makes you watch sports all day as he's slugging down the beer. Then you get to set and listen to his stupid jokes for hours. You know the type, only one who understand them is him. His friends are looking like WTF.
Must love my dog and my car after he tells you how much it costs and his is better than anyone else's.
Must be 10 years younger or he doesn't feel like a stud.
Must live within 2 blocks because he's to cheap to go 15 miles to see his Barbie.

See theres the other side of the story. It's not one sided-we get to share on here.
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 39
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 6:55:56 PM
I agree. It is like playing the lottery. What i will add though, is that women are accustomed to playing the lottery in the dating world, because thats exactly what you are doing offline-- hoping that guy that drives the mercedes with $200000 in his pocket drives right up to tou, for you to say you found him, when really he came to you.-- winning lottery tickets come to you.

Guys arent used to playing the lottery in the dating world, because we find you, and we make you into what we need!
Your a diamond in the rough before we get to you, and shape you into something magnificent,

or destroy you... which would be a guy being a losing ticket.

The point im trying to illustrate is guys dont play the lottery for dating, we have had to cultivate skills to get what we need out of you.

Women just dont DO THIS. You dont chase naturally, charm naturally, communicate great naturally.. get something from nothing naturally...tell funny stories naturally, rationalize naturally.. and im sure there are things men dont do naturally. I do agree there are teo sides, Im just looking through the lens of a guy. Thats not to be discounted.

This website serves to balance the table and make everyone play the lottery.
 annywn
Joined: 4/17/2012
Msg: 40
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 7:01:26 PM
Gawd, girls are inundated with, why doesn't she just say not interested, to why are you not interesested? It never freakin ends!!! If you understand soooooo little about women, bugger off and date a pet rock. You don't to CONTROL how someone responds to you, so deal with.
 Schatzi2015
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 41
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 7:37:00 PM
A woman saying she is "not interested" is nice.
She could say, she don't like you because you to black, to white, to bald, to old, to fat, to skinny or whatever...
Sometimes, you have to get mean, when people can't take a NO at face value.
They want explanations for your rejection and if they don't like it they attack you... for having your own taste.
I will take the not interested any day.
I get rejected, but I don't whine about it. I keep it moving, there billions of people on this planet. One has to like you.
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 42
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 8:14:46 PM
The_biggavell
Yes I do agree with you how you perceive this site. But it is what you make it. Times are changing in the dating world. I remember when I was a kid, my father had a wall hanging that said "women have many falts and a man has two, Its everything they say and everything they do". But mind you it stuck with me, because my father was a strict man and was a strong leader of the home. He was the provider, the hunter, the rock. He laughed when he hung that wall hanging. There was a tad of sarcasm back then between the sexes but nothing like it is today.

Many women that has lost everything after their divorce. They started from scratch and had the children to care for. They had to learn they had to become the leader of their home and become strong for their family unit. Many women strived to get more educated, better jobs and to make a home for their children. You can say that would not change you, but it does.

The statement that " your a diamond in the rough before we get to you, and shape you into something magnificent". We are magnificent as we are. We servived on our own. We had a crash course in molding ourselves. I feel for every good woman there is a good man. The love of two can be magnificent. Many women are to the point they do not need a man, more that they would like a caring relationship. I find many angry men when they have to feel they need control everything. It's not about money, cars or anything else. Its respect which we all deserve. We are not looking to find someone to change us, but to love us as we are.

Some of your statements sounds like every achievement of a women comes from a man. He works his magic to make us what he wants us to be and not who we are. Stop looking at us as your project and see us as a equal. You can't put the genie back in the bottle. I guess we must live with it. We are no longer submissive.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 43
view profile
History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 8:54:29 PM
^^^ You are no longer "submissive", yet whenever a woman encounters a guy who is even the slightest bit submissive, it's a HUGE turnoff. Like it or not, it seems that women still want a strong leader in a man, no matter what the PCs, feminists, or any other radical group might try and program into your heads.
 MarkKCurry
Joined: 12/21/2008
Msg: 44
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/10/2013 11:46:13 PM
my point.. people looking for interest.. haven't found it yet.. when you run across people who are currently active and doing things in life, they don't have to to deal with people who are looking for interest. Im interested in being wealthy.. but im working on it?.. ok.. you are not going to read a profile and find love either. They are just words.. you are meeting who a person wants to be.. most people say in their profiles, all this talk about how they are spiritual, open minded, considerate, loving and caring.. but its all just talk...
 Terramay
Joined: 7/14/2012
Msg: 45
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/11/2013 12:01:31 AM
Why cant "Not interested" just be that?
I'm not interested.

I'm not interested for a ton of reasons.
- Had a bad and about to jump off a cliff.
Sorry, not interested.
-Someones sent me a mean message before yours and put me in a bad mood for the day.
Sorry, not interested.
I'm rather interested in someone else.
-Sorry, not interested.
Too lazy to write back a response because I'd rather play with my dog instead.
Sorry, not interested.


Too lazy to keep a solid format of my post.

Sorry, not interested.
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 46
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:02:24 AM
That statement on the wall i agree with, the only thing id have to add to it is, that a man must have the wisdom and guidance to not let those faults destroy him.
I bet i know why he laughed as well. Those faults are a **** to handle.

Have you ever heard this before?

All a man needs in life is someone to love. If you cant give him that, give him something to hope for, if you cant do that, give him something to do.

I make no claims that a man can do everything on his own. A man needs a woman and i believe vice versa even though the world it seems, is trying to make it as though women are good by themselves. Its a co dependant relationship. There have been countless men who are destroyed after divorce, and im in the unfortunate position to see it, and the same for women. They both have their ways of getting back in the game.

Women, as you stated who have lost everything and bounced back in the way youve described... is exactly what i mentioned in my previous post.. these are remarkable women who HAD to learn charm, leadership styles and become strong, learn tocbe charming learn to tell better stores, learn is theckey word, and they had to be in a position where they had no other options., in order to do this because naturally.. its a man thats supposed to be there. These women take on this role. Ive encountered women who have done this... and girlll did they not like what im gonna say next..------ you learned how to take on the role of daddy, but your not daddy, your mommy. some of these women want to fight me, physically after saying that. They are convinced they are mom and dad, and they are in terms of roles. In no way is a guy claiming to be mom and dad. He plays his part and takes on the other roles.----

im just saying that women havent had to take on those roles.. meet a guy with 1 million (win the lottery) and your set!!! A man who meets a woman with 1 million has to rise to, or above her level.. women arent built to bring up a dude from nothing.. they get tired of it. A guy could find a woman behind a dumpster and turn her into his queen. This is what i mean by a diamond in the rough. You hear of bum dude... you dont hear of bum girl.

I agree thigs are changing.. but they arent for the better. And that is clearly visible, and i dont buy into thiscthing that the media is selling about people being good by themselves.
I think women and men needcto work together to understand one another as they are, and not what we envision them to be or the idea of what we want them to be. And i believe there is an innate respect in that naturally.
Women and men arent equal.. there is nothing in nature that exists in a state of equality. A state of balance yes.
 Vesta_ceres
Joined: 4/5/2013
Msg: 47
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:12:12 AM
You're looking for "hang out." It is an intent of disrepute that casts a shadow on the fact that you had managed a relationship beyond 10 years and your educational accomplishment. Your "About me" is scant, too.

You're also not privy to know the thought processes of anybody. Just as your entitled to your privacy, they are to theirs. And, nobody's compelled to give you any reasons, especially if you're nothing but words on a screen to them
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 48
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:21:36 AM

Youve all done typical girl moves which is to steer the conversation into a direction you're more comfortable with.mmm character bashing.


So lemme get this straight. An obviously overweight "athletic" older man calls women who don't drop their pants for him heifers and liars while making fun of their age and suddenly we're bad people for pointing out the irony?


- this is a catalogue of people... and what it does do is steal the ability for a guy to turn what might be an uncomfortable meeting into a possibly happy relationship. It steals the reactions and responses to those first words to capture your attention. Txting.. and profiles cant amount to half a person on here. You only ever see the full scope of a person when getting know them.


That's quite an assumption. You've imagined that you have the ability to "turn what might be an uncomfortable meeting into a possibly happy relationship" while completely ignoring the fact that behind that profile is a real person who (unless they're attracted back) doesn't give two craps what "might have been"... the fantasy that the person behind the message has built up. As for the catalogue .... you don't get to place an order for another human being and then get upset because you find out that they didn't put up the ad specifically for you. A profile is NOT a guarantee... wtf dude.


WHat the op has said is that given a profile and photo, how do you determine a person is not interesting from just looking at photos.. that would be the same as assuming a woman on here with kissy lips sucks**** or tits hanging out means shes dtf...


Oh... so if you got a message from an incredibly overweight woman with a face like a bulldog in a house straight out of an episode of Hoarders with a dozen dirty half naked children running around in the background you'd be all over that... you'd meet her anyway just to see if there's an "in-person spark"? If I see a pic of a man who is overweight but lists himself at athletic I figure he's delusional and click on to the next message. If I see a man who "doesn't drink" but every picture of him is in a bar, plastered, and with his hand on some chick's chest I figure he's a liar and click next.

They might be "interesting" (in their own minds) but unless you buy into the "everyone is a special snowflake and deserves whatever they want" PC bullchit everyone doesn't get to demand or shame the object of their desires into wanting a relationship back.


How am i gonna know if im interested in a person if i dont take the time to find out?


How is someone supposed to find the time to "give everyone a shot" if they're a parent, work full-time and have thousands of messages. Oh that's right, they can't. You're just whining because you want to be the exception.


I have noticed that women have far more "control" over whom they speak with or not, which is cool.


Oh please, everyone has control over who they want to interact with. Don't whine because their freedom to do that isn't convenient for you.


This is a website has become a means to chase false realities.


Simple fix. Don't build up a false reality and don't chase. Problem solved.


Personal opinion? Not many women on here know what they want or what interests them; its fantasy, an image of something not based in reality. They are looking for a look, a feeling that is supposed to bypass all the prerequisites and requirements theyve put way ahead of feelings, that is already hard to come by through still photos left to the imagination and dry txts.


Oh aren't you just the sweetest thing... letting us know that we're unable/too stupid to know what we really want. It's a good thing men like you and the OP are around to set us straight and give us what we really need in spite of ourselves.... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH.......
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 49
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:27:01 AM
As to the opening post, what you are doing is mistaking your interest level for the woman's interest level. It's a common phenomenon called projection. What you have to understand is that her feelings are separate from yours. Just because you like someone has no bearing on whether they like you or not. Sure, when in love, it's a nice feeling to them if you like them back, but she is primarily concerned with her feelings. So much for unconditional love!

Also, you may not be aware of this, but women are just as fixated on a attraction and looks as men are. When she says she is not interested in you before she has even tried to get to know you, it's because she did not find you attractive. It's just the stone cold facts of life.
 EyesRgreen_62
Joined: 3/12/2013
Msg: 50
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/11/2013 5:39:30 AM

Single people on POF who are not interested... ok.. does that defeat the purpose of being on the site? I just want to know maybe, what do females look for in a man on POF?.. its all texts and stories.. so how do you find the truth?

Every person is different and many look for many different things. I think we all need to realize you are not going to find "the truth" on POF. You are going to find an advertisement for a person ... someone generally putting their best face forward in an attempt to lure the opposite sex. You read profile, look at the pictures and see if it is someone you would like to take a chance on. If you make that decision, then you move on to face to face ... and with time you will find "the truth" of who that person is.

As for you ? I look at your profile and pics and see a very interesting and handsome man who I would take the time to get to know better if he were in my town. My only hangup might be that you say you are looking for a relationship but then list "hang out". In my mind that means casual sex ... which is NO big deal if both parties agree but when someone is looking for a relationship on one hand and a casual sex on the other ... it contradicts and may turn some women off.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > She is NOT interested and on POF