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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > She is NOT interested and on POF      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 cajuncooker
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 76
She is NOT interested and on POFPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
i think personally on line dating is a two edge sword. I think its like looking at a resume or a bio without knowing the person. A lot of interpersonal contact and face to face meeting is taken out of the mix. I know I am not having much luck and I may never. But there are still nice women that I have met.
I think we need to really take the time to get to know someone beyond the bio
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 77
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/16/2013 12:09:05 PM
This thread serves a great purpose-for it illustrates perfectly why after some time here, people stop replying to emails when they are not interested in the sender.

Men telling me, in my inbox daily that I didnt know what I wanted, didnt have the right to judge, must have misunderstood his profile, must not really want to date, must be looking for a fantasy man, I will be alone forever etc.....is exactly why most women stop replying after awhile.

The bottom line is, if someone doesnt like the way YOU presented yourself in YOUR profile, move on! Emailing them back or starting threads about how online dating is sooo unfair is a waste of your time. Online dating is NOT fair. No one promised you it would be. Life is NOT fair, in case you missed that memo as well. You will be judged on what you put out there and if people are not digging your online persona...then change the persona or try another venue to meet people. Signing up here was never a guarantee that people would like your profile and agree to meet you.

Online is a visual medium. If you cannot present yourself in pictures in a way that comes off as attractive, you will have a tough time with online dating. It certainly is not for everyone.

I was only interested in like 12 profiles locally in all of my years on POF. I wasnt gonna go on dates with the other 5000 or so other profiles just to show Im not a biatch or something just because they emailed me. Life is too short to please everyone.

Did I likely miss out on a potential good guy? Possibly. I could say the same to the men who chose not to be interested in my profile, that they missed out on a good lady. Cest la vie.....

To all the men who forcasted my impending doom of a lifetime of being single....neener, neener, neener...while being single was a blast, this chick is not single anymore. Being picky meant I was available when the man of my dreams entered the picture. It would have been awkward trying to dump all of the men I wasnt interested in to make way for the 1 I am interested in.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 78
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History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/16/2013 12:24:15 PM
Oh the irony, to be whiny, demanding, hateful, full of distrust and bashing those you seek...and not knowing why you are being rejected. LOL Sometimes it's just too comical for words around here.
 bbzell
Joined: 6/14/2012
Msg: 79
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She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/16/2013 12:55:45 PM
Hello OP. They are not interested in first place because how you look. So you can't go farther. It happened to me and any one else at this forum. They do not want know nothing interesting abut you. To me look simple.


Men telling me, in my inbox daily that I didn’t know what I wanted, didn’t have the right to judge, must have misunderstood his profile, must not really want to date, must be looking for a fantasy man, I will be alone forever etc.....is exactly why most women stop replying after awhile.


So brothers mail again after rejected. What crap. About 5/10 girls that think they are 10/10 another time.



 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 80
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/16/2013 12:56:34 PM
Dear OP -
I'm not interested in you.
Do I have your permission to remain on PoF?
 Hanoverfella
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 81
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/16/2013 2:09:38 PM
Wow! Do these sort of pity posts serve any other purpose other than make every guy on here look pathetic and desperate?? How many OP's have actually got messages from women/men after, saying: you know... you're right, instead of concentrating on everything I find unappealing about you, I've decided to go out with you anyway, you opened up my eye shallow eyes.
But I guess it's somewhat entertaining
 cajuncooker
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 82
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/18/2013 8:07:23 PM
lol they have midol for us men, its called nascar beer and hot wings
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 83
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/18/2013 8:25:00 PM
People just need to realize that online dating has its shortcomings and it is no ones fault. We look at a profile and then judge that profile on whether we want to reply or write to someone. It's all we have to go on. Do we all "pass over" profilesthat could be compatible? Sure. We all can feel we are the one and why would anyone pass us over, but that is what we all have to accept. Real life meeting is the best way and online dating is the harder of the two. No sense complaining or trying to figure out the "whys".
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 84
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She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/18/2013 11:58:07 PM
NDTfan..thank you for your honest logical posts to the misogynistic entitled movie magic posts of the OP and the_biggavell.
 cajuncooker
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 85
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/19/2013 6:59:02 AM
Oppistes attract alikes repel and whiners are revolting. Seeking your standards should be the first thing that you look for. As I said in another thread. I have a list of standards: she must be of the same religious belief as me baptist not only must she be baptist but she also has to be a christian. I dont like women with tatoos. I dont like women with non traditional piercings. I dont like women who wear revealing clothing I mean in the jeans and tee catogorey its fine if they wear jeans and a shirt but not tight cat cutters and low cut bend over see everything shirts. They have to listen to christian music and be selective on the movies they watch. They cannot be a drinker drug user and cannot be 420 friendly. They cannot talk dirty or sexual innuendo even be part of their talk. they cannot just want a friends with benefits thing. I mean my list goes on.
And the simple fact is I wont respond to a woman who does not at least have one or more of these qualities and maybe it is the same with you. they are not responding because you dont have a quality they like.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 86
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She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/19/2013 7:40:28 AM

I need to invent Midol for men.


There is one. It's called Damnitol.
Its mostly alcohol...funny that.
 UFCRocks_1969
Joined: 4/17/2013
Msg: 87
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/20/2013 6:08:18 AM
LOL This is too funny. The problem is that they can't really decide. There's too many options for people on the internet. If you end up with a relationship with someone from here and the it ends then you can have plenty of options, this is especially true for women. This is why I would never do online dating, I rather interact with people in real life. Plus people's expectations can be unrealistic.

POF shouldn't be your primary way of meeting women it should be one of your options.
 Hamilton12345
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 88
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/20/2013 7:06:22 AM

LOL This is too funny. The problem is that they can't really decide.


No, the problem is that she/they are not interested in you. No one is going to date everyone that contacts them, just because her profile appealed to you does not mean that yours appealed to her.

I love how men keep telling each other how women think and then telling the women how they should think and behave. You have no clue about the person you sent a message to other than their profile. So you think they are perfect match for you, obviously they didn't think so. Just because they didn't want you doesn't mean they are not interested in anyone.

Gawd if I had gone on a first meet, or even corresponded with every guy that contact me, I would still be doing that and I am a middle-age chubby woman, imagine what it must be like for the younger hot ones.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 89
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/20/2013 7:50:21 AM

LOL This is too funny. The problem is that they can't really decide.


No, the problem is that they've already decided and the ones who weren't decided on don't like it. So they make up stories about how horrible she is, or that she's a snob, or that she's wrong not to "give him a chance" or that they have too many options *cough* to make themselves feel better about it.

Fragile egos + internet dating = lots of whiny threads by whiny people wondering why other people just won't stop with their foolish preferences and attraction and just pay attention to THEM.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 90
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/20/2013 8:06:26 AM
^^^

Who said that women don't do it? I used the word people. But how does the "well, women do it too!" comeback in any way make what you said any more "right"?
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 91
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/22/2013 3:32:05 PM
Did a little reading of POs history and found something interesting. He never refers to women as women, they are always referred to as "female," and then refers to men as "men." I find that very telling...like we're not worth the respect of being called women. Just an observation.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 92
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History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/22/2013 4:12:02 PM
Same here. Female is unacceptable.
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 93
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:04:52 PM
Whether it is a free site or a paying site, they are the same basically. I get almost no responses on here or anywhere and I don't complain at all. It is what it is and people who whine need to realize it isn't anything personal lots of times. Hang in there, it will happen when it is suppose to happen.
 ladymercury
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 94
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:56:40 PM
Sure, it may be a POF thing ... although I've heard of some really neat dating stories that resulted in success from this site.

Having said that, I have to plead a bit guilty of not connecting with men from the web. And yes, there are many eligible, handsome men on POF. I still kind of enjoy being without a partner though; there's definitely something about being a solo traveller I find gratifying. If I met a man somewhere random on a girl's night out would it be any different? Maybe. I have met some wonderful men casually and still am in touch with them now and again.

I think the expectation for shared time is less when the web is involved. It can be really anything, thus making it more simply fantasy than reality. I meet the aims I have on the web socially, but am not required to give the time to have a real relationship. Some may say it defeats the purpose of being on a dating site for sure.

Gotta love the forums, reading profiles and checking out the pictures though ... it's pretty mind-numbing stuff which is great after a hard day's work haha! Almost like reading a magazine without the cost ...
 the_biggavell
Joined: 7/9/2012
Msg: 95
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:09:02 PM
[fe]male
iron man
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 96
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History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:14:58 PM
^^^ LOL Now that's funny!

I love the part about women having too many choices, so they don't have to settle for the whiners, leaving the whiners with less choices. If that's not telling about a person...
 JustMary65
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 97
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 5/4/2013 6:48:53 AM
OP-

If I said that it would be because there is something about the profile or picture that just didn't make me want to take things any further than a casual hello.

I find a great conversation will pique my interest far more than email banter....the typical 'hi, how are you?' 'what are looking for?' etc. I suspect that some women, not all, have been hounded by some of the more aggressive types wanting to know if, how, when, where they would like to engage in sex and often ignore just about all men on POF and just like to hang out in the forums.

Some women are fickle about who they desire to get to know---sorry if it upsets you but it's a harsh reality of online dating.

I'd be more 'interested' in someone whose truly 'interested' in me and focus on that versus those who show no interest at all.

Best Wishes...JM
 searcher3013
Joined: 12/27/2012
Msg: 98
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 5/4/2013 7:40:54 AM
Forgive me, I don't get this at all? All it tells me is that he refers to females as females and men to men, nothing more , nothing less. What is it telling you? I think he is sexist because he refers to men as men, why not refer to men as boys? Females to girls? Are we possibly over thinking here?


Referring to women as "females" is a practice that originated in particular socio/economic group and has unfortunately bled into the mainstream of North American culture. I'm not surprised you think nothing of it.

Whenever I hear a man refer to a woman as a "female", I think...."female what?" I think of female as an adjective, you see. For example, when I used to like to watch "Wild Kingdom" the narrator (in his lovely hushed, slightly British voice) would say things like '"The male lion keeps a constant vigil over the pride, while the female feeds her young..." For ME, the term female has a sort of animalistic or even livestock-ish connotation to it. Yes, I know is IS subtle....but that doesn't mean it isn't also valid.

It is not uncommon to see washroom doors in restaurants etc. labelled as "MEN" and "LADIES". Huh? Isn't the counterpart of MEN actually WOMEN....and the counterpart of LADIES ( a BS social construct IMO) would be GENTLEMEN (also a BS social construct IMO). How about the old, I now pronounce you MAN and WIFE...nobody ever pronounced a couple to be MAN and WOMAN....it took an incredibly long time for the phrase to to be replaced with HUSBAND and WIFE. You've probably never given this any thought...most men haven't.


Some people constantly refer to women as "females", but you seldom hear men referred to as a "male" in conversation. A MAN is a MAN. A woman? Apparently sometimes, just the "female" of the homo sapiens species...a mammal.

OT...if a man refers to women as "females" in his profile? I'm not interested :)
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 99
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 5/4/2013 8:06:19 AM
I guess I'm missing why Female is offensive to some. I'd rather that than the men bashing all " women" Or we could demand we only be called womyn. :)
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 100
view profile
History
She is NOT interested and on POF
Posted: 5/12/2013 12:28:00 AM
after five pages of lunatic banter from both sides a genuine reply that really kind of summed it up.
Thank you Lady Mercury for your honest insight as to what a lot of women won't admit to.
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