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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Do you ever think of long lost loves?      Home login  
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 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 59
Do you ever think of long lost loves?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

We should be as certain as possible there are no deal-breakers in the beginning -then determine that nothing external will break the deal. Anything that would come between you should be a deal-breaker in regard to those things.

Unless I misunderstand AHH's meaning, this ability to determine the future requires a level of presentience that I lack.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 60
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Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/4/2015 11:20:41 AM
Dee, I think so too.
It is always best to have no regrets.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 61
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Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/4/2015 2:04:53 PM
@basilisk...
I never said THAT!!! lol

Regrets come in at least two varieties...

Regret for things we HAVE done....

And for those we HAVEN'T....

I've "done" a LOT my friend...I truly have.... ;-)
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 62
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Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/4/2015 2:24:04 PM
^^^ Lol, At least it can't be said you didn't live life then.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 63
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Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/4/2015 3:11:52 PM
I often think that, as well....

I am glad that I haven't let fear stop me from living....and DAMN the consequences!!!! LOL
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 64
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/4/2015 4:52:29 PM
I just realized how unclear my post was.

When I said determine that nothing else would break the deal, I didn't mean knowing all things which might happen, but deciding to work through anything that might happen -even if it seems temporarily hopeless.

However, we can determine somewhat how the future might be with some particular person -given enough awareness/information/experience.....
We often blind ourselves to things we know will someday break the deal.

I have done that myself -and in similar fashion to dee's post.

While I'm not a "born again", I do have very strong beliefs -and falling for someone in the past has blinded me from the fact that there was probably no real future and that our paths would almost certainly part. My heart said there could be, but my brain knew my heart was very wrong -yet my heart was kicking my brain's a**!

I definitely regret it -it's not fair to the other at all.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 65
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/5/2015 11:47:17 PM

I really have some fond memories of people I dated years ago and even from my teen years.

Teen years? Man, I don't think about it any more, or on any different level, than say, some hot girl I worked with or something way back then. Just random thought popping in. No yearning or "missing" ex's from that long ago.

If I still wasn't over an ex -- or gals who fizzled pre-relationship -- from long ago, I'd have some issues I'd need to resolve about dating, etc.

I could see still reminicing about stupid mistakes made back in the day that cost ya a relationship and rolling your eyes at yourself because of it, etc. But not to be like "I wonder if they're single now, and I wonder what the chances of me ever talking to them again would be!" (= not over them)
 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 66
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/6/2015 12:48:26 AM

How should I approach this? I know better than to question her about whatever happened back then. If we do get back together, it will come out in the course of time. But how strongly do I come on? Should I tell her that I have thought of her often (I have), and that I would love to see her again (I would). Or do I just go very slowly?~Henry


Hi Henry; this is no time for games. Follow your heart…tell her the truth that you have thought of her often. You are right what happened when she dropped you will eventually come out. However, do not put too much stock in the fact that she has contacted you. She may be feeling lonely and in need of company; nothing more than that.

So tell us please what happened when you replied to her.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 67
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Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/6/2015 9:24:16 AM

HondoGal
So tell us please what happened when you replied to her.

First, I want to thank everyone who replied here and in private messages, offering advice / suggestions. I truly appreciate it.

Now, as to what happened, basically nothing. I replied, saying that it was nice to hear from her and I would love to see her again. This was Monday of last week, 8 days ago. I waited two days, and sent a follow up email, saying basically the same thing, just in case she missed the first email.

Nothing, no reply, no word. So I’m going to put this one back on the shelf, and move forward. There is a lot more that I could tell you, about her past, and why she might be behaving in this way. But that would be violating her confidence, her privacy, and I will not do that.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 68
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/6/2015 10:36:48 AM
Sorry Henry...sounds like you quite liked her.
She sounds fickle if nothing else....she may have felt nostalgic and reached out because you had sent her a message a few months back, especially since it was the holidays and all.

Sometimes I have reopened a can of worms and had regrets instantly on doing so.
I have forgiven someone and fell right back to being kicked again....I have sworn never to "bite" again.
A few people know how to play on the emotions of some of us.....because they know we still care.
Leave it alone....she's got issues! Rather nervy of her...to flirt and then ignore you again.
Hard to be strong!

I think of past loves...all of them. But my fondest and favorite is the guy that treated me well and truly never left me in doubt of his "love".
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 69
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/28/2015 5:03:34 PM
I actually had the rare opportunity to reconnect with a past love from 20 years ago in a romantic way. We never really got together because we were with other people, but the fire burned hot between us - which is a pretty delicious, torturous feeling knowing what you want but can't have it.

Aside from a few well earned lines in her face and shorter hair, she hadn't changed a bit. Unfortunately. She was still a border line alcoholic and a bit of a flake to boot. We didn't last long, and my heart was hurt (but not broken), but after a while I was truly thankful it didn't work out.

In the end I was glad that particular demon was exorcized.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 70
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 1/29/2015 6:26:56 PM
For me there is one above all others.

I actually saw her walking a dog one day on the way back home and for some reason felt compelled to stop even though we had'nt spoke or crossed paths in nearly 10 years.

She was just a beautiful as the last time I saw her. I got out and she turned and looked momentarily and then walked in my direction. When we met her eyes were tearing up, we hugged, not a passion hug but an embrace that literally touched my soul, it was almost as though we were one. We chatted for awhile, she had married etc.but when I got ready to leave she looked at me with that smile of hers and said "I think of you often" and it makes me smile.
To this day I think of her from time to time and it makes me smile and she will till I'm gone.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 71
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 2/1/2015 6:11:34 AM
Never@

In the end I was glad that particular demon was exorcized.


Sorry to hear about that, but imo, whether it be your first love, middle etc....at least you can put 'closure ' on said relationship..

As for me it was my first love....she was 15 & me 17....I know....thats not love etc... but for me I thought it was...^^^
And after we broke up, went out separate ways, got married, divorced etc.... but she was still in there....

Then, by chance after 48 years of being separated ,we met somehow at a function. I was tickled to death in seeing her. As she was with her date, she said hello. She looked like she didn't age a day & it was like being 17 again....

As later we did finally met, went out a fews times but for her, the fire was gone. Or did I '****foot' with her ? Not sure without giving away other personal info, but it still was good I think for both of us. As I read somewhere that there is a 75% success rate for those who reunite again after many many years.

Needless to say .....I have," Closure " on my first love, & imo I think it was still very good for both of us....young and all....
And I’m guessing for those who yet have, ‘closure’ in their past love life, the demons continue to follow...mine, it took 48 years.......
& on the bright side, she met someone a few years ago , they bought a condo & live together.
Besides being on FB.....life goes on...
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 72
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 2/1/2015 12:02:04 PM

Sorry to hear about that, but imo, whether it be your first love, middle etc....at least you can put 'closure ' on said relationship..


Meh, don't be. Like you said, closure is better then living a life that is full of what if's.

In the final analysis I got to get my what ifs answered, plus as an added bonus I got to finally sleep with her. So, yeah...
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 73
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 2/2/2015 9:08:01 AM

In the final analysis I got to get my what ifs answered, plus as an added bonus I got to finally sleep with her.


lol - this reminds me of what happened to me last year :

A girl I went to high school with back in the late 70's found me on FB Dec/13.

We got together , didn't work out and like you was left thinking " at least I got to sleep with her " , lol.

Actually, what I miss most now is kissing her .... mmmmmmmmmm , lordy I do love a woman who knows how to kiss !!!!
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 74
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 2/3/2015 8:24:54 AM
[Actually, what I miss most now is kissing her ]


It's strange.
I don't think of lost loves.
I have rarely reminisced about a person but rather an intimate aspect such as what Meme pointed out.
The way one person's chest felt as I laid my head on it.
The way another man's arm felt as I put mine around as we strolled for a walk
A kiss of another
Cuddle
One person' hair
eyes
even a voice
and so forth
but to long for that person as a whole? No
They are exes for reason

Now... if I could take bits and pieces of each of them together, I wouldn't be here
I'd be too busy :)
 MeMeMeatlast
Joined: 1/26/2015
Msg: 75
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 2/3/2015 11:03:34 AM
^^^^^I know right ?
Take all the best parts of exes to make one ultra partner !

Someone hurry up and invent a machine that can make that happen dammit!
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 76
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 2/3/2015 4:26:19 PM
Of late been having dreams of tall men. Some known (in that carnal way), some just 'known' and wished I knew more, some 'known' in another way but will never 'know'---lost loves all---not sure about the 'long'< haha
 mike11091
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 77
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 2/3/2015 5:18:54 PM

Everyday, I think of them. Every single one of them. 2-3 times a day each. Sometimes it makes me want to cry in fustration, that I am so absolutely stupid. I think of the things I wish I could have said or done. Hindsight is always 20/20 like that. Now I am alone with no hope of ever finding someone again. It just feels like my time has passed and now I am just waiting to die.


I went through this. Hell, sometimes I still do. It's not about loneliness for me, I have a GF, it's just that sometimes life feels empty. I work, visit my GF, eat, shower, sleep and repeat.

It's not depression. I'm not sad about it. Conflicted would be more accurate.

For most of my life I've aspired to achieve the "dream". House, wife, job. But why? Having someone to share interests is all fine and good, but to what end? Is that what children are supposed to do for people? Give meaning to otherwise meaninglessness?


OT: I'm not quite sure how to look at this. I don't have any regrets. Mistakes abound, but zero regrets. I do, however, find myself randomly remembering some of my ex's. I've come to realize that my GF shares qualities with many of them and she often makes me remember things I could otherwise do without. Feelings really don't come into play, but the memories will always be there.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 78
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 3/4/2015 10:32:52 AM
I have memories; but I never carried torches for past ex-lovers/husband. They're in the past for a reason and they stay there.

It's easier for me to do this because none of them had passed. Had any passed away at the time I knew them -- or even years after that -- it'd trouble me; but not because of past feelings (and I would be very sad), but because I'd wonder about the families and friends who've to survive their passing.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 79
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 3/6/2015 9:00:52 AM

There is only one that I think about all the time. Not exactly long ago, we broke up October 2013, and have not seen each other since. He has pretty much cut me out of his life, blocked me on FB, and moved overseas. So it's pretty obvious he's done with me and wants nothing to do with me. Still, deep down I hope that one day we'll be at least on friendly terms again.


I posted this in December, msg 90, and I'm still so absolutely elated that we are on friendly terms again, just as I had hoped for the last year and a half. No one I've met since him has made me feel like he has. It still feels surreal that he not only initiated contact with me again after all this time and after all that was said and done (very harsh words were exchanged), but that I'm actually going to see him again this summer, and that he has been thinking about me as he told me. When it ended between us, it almost felt like he was trying to escape from me, to get as far away from me as possible. However, if you have a real connection with someone, time and distance doesn't matter, it's not just going away. At this point, no telling what will happen with us down the line, but things are different now. When we first met, it was passionate and fast and chaotic, and things were bound to go up in smoke and flames. Now, things are much more slow-paced, cautious, and focusing on the friendship part. The passion is still there, at least for me, but I'm keeping it bottled up and won't reveal it to him until we know what's going to happen.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 80
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 3/6/2015 2:57:27 PM
YES.

Recently saw the same surname on a door...... brought back lots of memories.
Smells.... certain aftershave fragrances bring back very powerful memories.


This morning waking up in my solo bed dreaming of waking up beside someone wonderful so let my memory and imagination run.
 StarClassic
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 81
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 3/8/2015 3:53:11 AM

Eternity: it'd trouble me; but not because of past feelings (and I would be very sad), but because I'd wonder about the families and friends who've to survive their passing.


I can say from experience they would appreciate your kind thoughts.
Her mother and I exchange Christmas cards and called on birthdays until she too passed four years ago.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 82
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 3/8/2015 6:00:51 PM
I think of the love of my life, especially when Casablanca comes on.

but I do not long for HER.

it's the feeling of LOVE that I miss, being so deeply in love I was drowning in it.

I was on top of a mountain, in the upper atmosphere, in outer space, on the moon and among the stars.

I was so much in love I felt sorry for people who I thought believed they knew what love was.

I loved her on a level that most people do not know even exists.

I miss that love, not her.
 Joegl209
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 83
Do you ever think of long lost loves?
Posted: 5/12/2015 9:55:13 AM
I don't sit and think of my ex girlfriends and wonder if they think of me . I just realize that the women from my past are with new boyfriends/husbands or lovers and they're definitely not thinking about me or else they'd get in contact. Time to move on, Bud.
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