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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Women can fix this!      Home login  
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 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 51
Women can fix this!Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
@ Freudian since you addressed me I will reply to your post and your choice of words with this said first--I have read your post before and before this one I would never view you as a "nice" guy. I would consider you a good man, a decent man, a man who would deserve to have a good woman.

Yet...you said some things...
You don't find them hitting on women at bars and parties
Bad boys are no longer just at bars and parties--they are on online dating sites.


They'll clean up after your horse even if they don't ride themselves. This means they're henpecked. They'll welcome your kids, even if they don't like the tattoos and piercings. They'll ride their motorcycles alone because you can't work up the courage. They'll help around the house and try to understand why you think every horizontal surface should have something displayed on it.
I would not consider a partner obligations any less and I have had bad boys in my life that have done as much--it is not a flag of honor to do things that should be done and that is part of my issue with this whole thing--Oh look I am a catch cause I do what I should do--really? you feel women owe you for not being a bad boy--to me that is like me saying you should like me cause Im not a ****...or a c word or a s word...no you should like me cause i am likable, if I am not likable then I NEED TO WORK ON BEING LIKABLE but not a process of elimination but a selection of choice.


Yes, they appear weak. They're considered the milquetoasts of the world. The guy that will help with the drain, but isn't exciting enough to flirt with. The guy that will change the tire on your car so you can get to your date on time. They're the guys you choose to ignore while you pursue the fast talking, money flashing 'player' that caught your eye across the room.Go ahead, ignore and belittle them, they're used to it.


And this part just pissed me off--First I can fix my own drain and my own tire--however if I had a date with a man and had a flat that I couldn't fix then I would expect the man I had a date with to help me to fix my tire--what type of woman would use a man like that and what type of man would allow it--if you did cause you wished to date a woman you knew was seeing someone else then you sorta deserve the burn you got from her.

If you allow people to walk on you then dont expect others to respect you when you arent showing respect for yourself for allowing a woman to use you--you wouldnt respect a woman that was a doormat and let men use her--most men would call her a slut and not understand that she is just wanting one man to love her and doing the only thing her environment has taught her to get it.

I had come to enjoy your wit and intelligence but this post left me rethinking things...it smacks of playing poor pitiful me I do all this for women--no you do all that for SOME women who are the female equivalent of a bad boy--

So you are complaining about what SOME women are doing and yet you are doing exactly the same thing...you are saying Ill do all of this and yet you still prefer someone else...and the women are telling the bad boys...Ill do all of this and you still prefer someone else...

You are doing the exact thing you are condemn women for...

I really really do not want a "nice" guy...but omg yea on a "good" man--doormats are for feet not for dating...
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 52
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/15/2013 6:23:29 PM

To them, fun isn't found, it's something that is constructed and worked for.

For goodness sakes give me a break! Fun isn't planned on a spreadsheet with formulas! Fun is spontaneous and can happen at any time while you are doing almost anything. You just described a guy who is boooorrrring and not very creative. Sheesh


Fun is not choreographed but it is most often planned , and perimeters are constructed, even if tenatively
Inviting a few couples to grill, walk on the beach or, any kind of outing or event requires some degree of planning
But that doesn't mean there won't be lots of spontaneity within the perimeters.

To state planning =boooorrrring... was either a misstatement,misunderstanding or a declaration that you find your fun in mostly unconventional ways
 deere_rancher
Joined: 4/4/2012
Msg: 53
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/15/2013 7:05:02 PM

And this part just pissed me off--First I can fix my own drain and my own tire--however if I had a date with a man and had a flat that I couldn't fix then I would expect the man I had a date with to help me to fix my tire


WTH ..??.. you just said you could fix your own tire ....!!

 Giggles10000
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 54
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/15/2013 8:08:33 PM
^^ sigh...yes I can change my own tire, but I had two flat tires once-- so I had to have someone take me to get one tire fixed to put back on my car since I only had one spare...do you knit pick everything just looking for something wrong--wouldn't life be better to look for what is good?
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 55
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/15/2013 8:11:48 PM
giggles, goodness, you sound like I addressed every single line directly at you. That's the problem with my using the second person narrative in the post. But, I couldn't use the first person in this case and third person sounded silly.

Sorry.

However, you also used the second person in your post and it sounds like I would be the guy changing your tire. Frankly, I WOULD change your tire if you asked and not think you were a slut at all. Well, I wouldn't think you were a slut because a lug nut stuck and your wrench wasn't long enough to free it.

But, there are two other things that make me wonder

If you allow people to walk on you then dont expect others to respect you when you arent showing respect for yourself for allowing a woman to use you--you wouldnt respect a woman that was a doormat and let men use her--most men would call her a slut and not understand that she is just wanting one man to love her and doing the only thing her environment has taught her to get it.

Huh? I'm sure there are some women that have been trapped into this, but I've never met one. It's been my experience that the women that men call sluts seem to fall into two classes: The ones that turned them down; using the label as a form of revenge. And the women that get stoned on drugs of some kind (booze included) and roll over for the guy supplying them. I don't know any sluts; I think I've seen a few, but don't know for sure.

People walk on me all the time, to me it's part of trusting people. I make a policy of trusting people first and then reacting to the way they treat me. It's my version of respect. I don't make people earn it, they get it for free and then we see what happens. They can borrow a small amount of money and I expect it to be returned quickly, if not, they have just been delegated to the untrustworthy category. From that point on, they can't use me in any way. They need a ride to the shop to pick up their car, I seem to be busy and "What about that 10 bucks you owe me?" There's a couple of people I wouldn't urinate on if they were on fire.

And, I DO consider it a flag of honor doing those things that should be done. Making me a sandwich deserves applause and compliments. A woman that would change the oil on my Harley would get a night out on the town. I'd also expect something for shoveling her horse's droppings. Praise is not to be reserved for special things, it's to be spread around like peanut butter on tummies. I guess I don't consider things that need to be done obligations. I consider them chores and doing chores deserves praise. Really.

Good vs. Nice?? Really, are you going there ... again. As I told the other poster, that's a matter of usage; I have a good pair of shoes and a nice house. I'm not willing to get into nuances of definition when we all know what is being discussed.

And no, I'm not complaining about anything. I'm just telling you what they act like and where to find them. If it sounded like I was complaining, that wasn't my intent. I was just telling it the way it is.

Oh, I think I saw a couple of bad boys at the bar last Saturday night, they were the 40 year olds feeding shots to the 20 somethings wearing the short dresses.
 theanswerguy2
Joined: 4/3/2013
Msg: 56
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/15/2013 9:17:24 PM
...do you knit pick everything just looking for something wrong


Well, I don't know about deere_rancher, (to whom your question was directed), but it's "nitpick", not "knit pick". (wink)
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 57
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/16/2013 4:24:16 PM

Those with few clothes on, the lingerie shots or the ones where someone is draped half naked across a bed - those get replies.

Wait ! You mean I can undress and drape across a bed and get replies?? Where's my tripod?
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 58
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/16/2013 4:52:37 PM
I agree Bogie, there are a couple of pretty childish people who for one reason or another have not grown up. They feel insecure and want to "police the forums" and play tattletale to to mods when their insecurities as a real human being are threatened by someone with more intelligence or insight than they are capable of expressing. There are a couple of others who can only make smart remarks and wise cracks. Maybe at one time someone told them they were funny. In some of the threads.. laughter is a good thing, but when someone asks a serious question and they can not be the center of attention, they seek to have it removed. Like I said, there are some very sad people on line who hide behind screens and live in an imaginary world where they actually think they are special. In some ways they are, just not the way they think they are. Don't let losers and smart mouths ruin the forums, I say just ignore it. Eventually the truth always comes out. They are worth even bothering with and if more people would simply ignore their comments, they would go back under the rocks they crawled out from under.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 59
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/16/2013 5:04:48 PM

I'm still thinking about the tripod...

It's to hold the camera. Goodness, you have a ... oops, I'm reading into it aren't I? That makes me wonder that maybe it's me that has the dirty mind. But, I don't need a tripod to do what is hinted at (for the ones with a dirty mind), I have a piece of string thumb tacked to the ceiling for that.

I'll go crawl back under my rock now.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 60
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/16/2013 8:41:35 PM
^^^ Nothing in my post was directed towards you.. I find you quite entertaining and would not target you in any comment other than with humor or respect..
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 61
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/16/2013 8:47:26 PM
^^I know, I just couldn't help myself ... sorry. But, I HAVE been called both a loser and a smart mouth --- many times. Sheesh, maybe I should start listening to them.

Naw
 Happy_gal2013
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 62
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/17/2013 8:51:42 AM
+1 Freudian, I love your outlook and I look forward to reading more of your post. Bogie and Charliesmom has this spot on as well.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 63
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/17/2013 9:26:32 AM
I personally love people who can poke fun at themselves and do not make persoanl attacks.. Humor can be a wonderful asset when it is used correctly and Freudian.. you give me laughs almost every day. Its a refreshing change from many of the bitter and angry right fighters. Smiles
 Bachelorette.Number1
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 64
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/24/2013 8:39:10 PM
You don't understand......we'd be deleting user after user........but they just keep coming!

It's gotten so old..(apparantly along with the guys as well.)
That it's become a slight annoyance, an expected response, an eye roll, a wth.
So, we delete the message, perhaps block the user and move on.
I'm seriously telling you, out of 10 messages, 7 will be crude, rude...deleted.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 65
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/24/2013 10:15:07 PM

I'm seriously telling you, out of 10 messages, 7 will be crude, rude...deleted.


I couldn't message you because I'm waay too old, so I thought I just do it here for the fun of it.
Questions -
Is your son normal? Absolutely not. That kid of mine broke his arm at three pretending he was Superman by jumping off the house, to tried to burn down the barn when he was four, got suspended from the FIRST GRADE, and it went downhill from there. He may be normal now, but I wouldn't want to swear to it in court.

Let's hear your best ending for this sentence:
I'll do anything for you except... 1. Something intentional that will hurt you, or someone else. 2. Leave you alone. 3. Kick you out of be for eating crackers. 4. Surrender the remote control.

If you were a fruit which fruit would you be? Kiwi. Those ugly little things that are green and sweet on the inside. Or maybe an avocado. They both look like crap, but are fun to eat.

I'm sick and have to cancel our date this weekend. How do you respond? Oh, sorry, is there something I can do? Chicken soup, extra blankets, extra roll of toilet paper, Rug Doctor?

What are your favorite qualities in a woman and why? Blonde, liquor store, wealth, in reverse order.

7 will be crude, rude...deleted.

OK, I see what you mean.
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 66
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/24/2013 10:56:20 PM

I HAVE been called both a loser and a smart mouth --- many times. Sheesh, maybe I should start listening to them.


Or you could tell those who have called you a loser and smart mouth that you've been called worse by better people than them.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 67
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/25/2013 6:06:49 AM
To state "women can fix this" is very simplistic and not really based in reality. For every man a woman reports, he either gets a new profile and begins again or another one just like him jumps on board. I just block and delete and ignore those who behave badly realizing I can not fix this.

Believe it or not, there are women out there who find it amusing and obviously entertain this behavior, otherwise it would have vanished years ago.

From my experience, its not about women gravitating to bad boys who use and abuse them, often these men are very charming and fun, its only after they are hooked that these men reveal their true selves.

They dont intentionally run from a ":good man" however they do run from self described "nice guys" because often these guys are doormats with the excitement and fun of a potato chip. They whine and complain all day on forums about women enjoying getting beat up or used. Sad thinking.

I think a good women is looking for a good man who is fun to be around, shares the same goals etc. Often the bad boys are terrific at playing that role in the early stages of dating. ( they are great liars and manipulators) Where "nice guys" often struggle with basic social interactions. Good guys are able to be social and are able to maintain it because it is real from moment one.

So I dont think its bad boys vs. good guys or nice guys.. Its a matter of being careful not to be deceived by the bad guys posing as good men and not passing up the good men after years of falling for the bad guy deception. Yes the self professed "nice guys" are seen as doormats to some.. maybe they need to step up their game and become good guys rather than doormats

Women have the toughest job of all trying to figure out who is who.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 68
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/25/2013 12:15:59 PM

Women have the toughest job of all trying to figure out who is who.

I protest this point.
Men might be more likely to falsify online profiles and such to get attention, BUT
Women are far more vague with their profiles, leaving HUGE gaps of their personality in 'take a wild guess' land.

Weeding through lies - at least the basic demographic ones - height, weight, etc... - those are easy to figure out within seconds of meeting someone. Finding out their personality is not REALLY as outgoing as they appear in the profiles takes a bit longer to figure out.

This kind of 'battle of the sexes' has been waged in these forums forever, and I don't want to start another skirmish - just suffice it to say BOTH sexes have problems with dating personalities, whether it be from falsification - or omission of the facts. Not telling the whole story CAN be every bit as misleading as telling a phony one.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 69
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/25/2013 12:48:56 PM
^^ I must agree women come in all categories as well.. the trick is matching the right one together.. smiles
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 70
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/25/2013 1:38:23 PM
The record on this thread is women can't even discuss this without one of them getting banned, I doubt they are going to be able to fit this.

Try something easier, like fixing world hunger.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 71
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/25/2013 2:19:59 PM
Actually there is nothing to fix . Things will work themselves out as they normally do ,even if a there is social upheaval . Things always work out , one one way or another .
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 72
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Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/25/2013 10:23:40 PM
Message 1:

I am a woman and I fixed broken things, like fences,lawn mover,car engines, "wood puppets, "you name it,,,, but I don't fix men for they are not broken, they are just free thinkers, saying Good Morning , Hi, What's up? Ect... what is wrong with that?
Men have freedom of speech too like women.... and I don't intend to be the incarnation of Adolp Hitler..
If a man ask me for sex( in LETTERS) it is my decision to say YES OR NO or I don't answer his email..
On the other hand,
If a man confront me sexually in person,I'll sue him with sexual harrasment, it is that simple...
 m8t
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 73
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/26/2013 12:37:28 AM
All healthy men want sex sooner or later.
Do we want to fix that?
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 74
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/26/2013 8:43:12 AM
We, as women, can not fix anyone but ourselves. Any one who thinks differently .. good luck with that.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 75
Women can fix this!
Posted: 4/26/2013 11:17:22 AM
Good women do tell their friend when they are acting crazy or if they need help. As for men who keep picking crazy ones..

Here is a clue..you are attracting them which means there is something in YOU that needs to change.

I had a run of Narcissistic males until I looked at what was wrong with me.. I was being Co-dependent.

So I dont blame the men who I choose.. I ALLOWED it, I chose it and I FIXED ME.

That is what some here REALLY need to work on. THEMSELVES.
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