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 AUTHOR
 ZombiezRock
Joined: 10/17/2012
Msg: 31
My History on sex (getting laid)Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Stop listening to your friends for one... What may work for them does not work for you it seems and that is perfectly okayyy! And there is nothing wrong with a guy not wanting a one night stand that is actually you being a decent person and there is so little of that these days.

Everyone is all about sex, sex, sex who they can have it with despite feelings, std's and many other things. if this is not right for you wait for some one you feel you can care about or do care about and then enjoy being intimate. And your in no way a "woman" for feeling this way - just a good person. Ahgggg, the expectations and stereotypes of the sexes is annoying as crap. A guy is expected to jump everything that moves and if he doesn't "some thing must be wrong" a woman who does the same is a "slut or whore" its all just BS....
 Shorty679
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 32
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 1:54:18 PM
jlynn1955



"When my husband left me, I began wondering if there would ever be any other man who would want to be with me. I went to the online dating sites, mostly to see who was out there and maybe stick my little toe in the water. I don't know. Got emails from some creeps. But there was one man I started chatting with alot. We did eventually spend a weekend together. It was just a fling for each of us. No emotions involved not even for lust or whatever on my part-though I will say he gives the most amazing massages ever. I don't do things like that. One night stands, flings, casual sex, is not for me. But that one time I didn't and don't regret. We still talk now and then but he doesnt live very close and we both have other things going on. Right or wrong morally, it was what I needed at the time and it was the right time and I think the right person.
I think though that this is a very personal and individual thing. Different for each person and each situation "

Msg 13


^^^^^^This
 pseriouslyt44
Joined: 3/6/2013
Msg: 33
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 2:13:54 PM
Really you sure there was no emotions? Moaning is a level of emotion in my opinion.
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 34
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 3:24:20 PM
Casual sex is a selfish act and I can't imagine anything good comes from it. Its nice to see that some men are realizing what many females knew all along.. sex with emotion and real connection is not intimate, its just an act without much substance that often leaves at least one person feeling bad. Unless you are selfish and do not care how the other person feels, I cant imagine how this can feel good. JMHO
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 35
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 3:50:15 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

+1
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 36
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:14:01 PM

Casual sex is a selfish act and I can't imagine anything good comes from it. Its nice to see that some men are realizing what many females knew all along.. sex with emotion and real connection is not intimate, its just an act without much substance that often leaves at least one person feeling bad.


I don't see how you can come to that conclusion about the differences between men and women.

The woman he was talking about was married and only engaging in casual sex. Some women I dated when I was 30 were very into casual sex. I am not sure there is a vast difference between men and women on this issue.

Meaning a few like it, many don't. Many men proclaim to like it, many women say they don't, but in the end they behave the same. Some like it, many don't. And quite if few have done it at least once.
 Schatzi2015
Joined: 3/3/2013
Msg: 37
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:19:01 PM
Everyone knows getting laid from a stranger who you have no feelings for sucks. I knew that at 21.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 38
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:28:30 PM
IMO there is a range of sexual relations from very casual to not casual at all. Range meaning anonymous sex where you don't know their name, to only having sex after you are married. You can have a casual sexual relationship with someone you know well and a long time before sex, you both know it isn't going anywhere, but you both care about each other. You can have a relationship that only last 1 year, etc.

I haven't liked very casual sex the few times I did this when I was 30, actually I rather hated it. Likely I only feel good with a strong emotional connection, but maybe some other variation with a mild emotional connection would have been good, it isn't like I had the opportunity to experiment a lot.

But I have known men and women that seemed to thrive with very casual sex. The one's I knew personally weren’t very pleasant people.
 fieryredhead77
Joined: 12/17/2012
Msg: 39
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/12/2013 4:47:15 PM
I personally don't think casual sex is selfish unless you lie to the person that it is going to be something more. I think the guilt people feel is usually based on some sort of religious upbringing. I have seen cultures who don't have this ingrained belief that casual sex is somehow wrong. Maybe you should go confess you sins to your pastor/priest instead of coming here to get it off your chest.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 40
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/14/2013 7:53:09 AM

I personally don't think casual sex is selfish unless you lie to the person that it is going to be something more.


I agree with this and will add that IMO, it isn't "selfish" if those involved want the other(s) to enjoy themselves too.

There are a lot of married people who have VERY selfish sex - meaning that one party doesn't care if it's enjoyable for the other.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 41
view profile
History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/14/2013 1:06:12 PM
The OP is for lack of a better explanation "full of baloney." Edit your profile if you are so happy but stop pissing in everyone's ear and telling us it's raining.

Some folks need an emotional connection, some don't. To each couple their own. Believe me plenty of women just want to "knock boots."
 RB_64
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 42
view profile
History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/14/2013 6:02:50 PM
To each his/her own...... I understand sharing opinions, but I just still can't understand judge and jury comments condemning people with different opinions. Some people need to chillax a bit and worry about themselves and not label others.

Cowboy - I agree, "wild monkey sex" with a stranger beats the hell out of dead fish sex with someone you know well.

Tumuchfun - bang on, you are right - some women do want to just "knock boots" on occasion.

Personally, I would prefer to knock boots during wild monkey sex with someone I know and love deeply who feels the same about me. But, I am not going to wait ten years in celibacy for that relationship to happen when the hot rugby guy is chatting me up in the moment and wants to have some fun. Would I want a stranger every night, no way.

When does a stranger no longer bear the label stranger? After you have a real name and contact info, or is there a magic number of hours/dates??
 12thour
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 43
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/14/2013 6:28:37 PM
Thank you for this post. It is so nice to know some men feel the same way as I do.

My biggest fear in deciding to even meet a man out for a date ...is the end of the date...when he tries to have sex with me that same night. I have not dated this year yet because of this. Last year I only went out with a few men and no matter what I said to them they still tried. It was exhausting and made the end of the night stressful for me.

I just want to meet someone, enjoy the time I have with them, see if we have a real connection and really like one another before we take an intimate step forward. Yet I find too many men want what they want when they want it. So, I just don't play anymore. Maybe one day a man with the same morals as I have will catch my eye and I will keep seeing him.

Anyway, thanks again....it was a pleasure to read.
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 44
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/14/2013 7:35:17 PM
I'm not all that sure what the point of this post is.


I was out with my male friends and was coaxed into talking to a single woman... I was attracted to

Are you decrying that you are easily influenced by your friends?
That you don't have the balls to talk to a woman unless you are pushed by your friends?


I did take her home (didn’t take a lot of coxing).

Are you saying it didn't take a lot of coaxing from your friends to get you to talk to her?
Or are you saying it didn't take a lot of coaxing on your part to take her home? This seems more likely, to me.
Why are you making it known that it didn't take a lot of coaxing?
Also, if you are saying it didn't take a lot of coaxing her to take her home then why are you feeling guilty?
Are you implying that she was really drunk, so you took advantage of a drunk woman and feel guilty?
Or are you trying to assuage your guilt by trying to pass blame for what you see as a shameful act to her?
Or are you trying to say you really don't respect women, and they just can't make their own decisions, that they are all victim to godlike persuasive powers of men?


The sex had no feelings involved no emotion, it was just sex for gratification or lust.

So? What makes you think she wanted anything more? Do you care? Or is it just about you and you feeling some sort of enlightenment after you have sex?


In the end I still felt empty inside

Key word here is "still."
So you were empty inside before you had sex with her, yet you still did it.


...and guilty (awkward). I felt guilty for using her in that way.

That's a little presumptuous isn't it?
So you saying (typing) this is basically you don't believe women can make decisions for themselves and they are little rabbits that are easily victimized by big bad super coaxing power men.


Some People need a connection and emotions to have sex with a partne

Obviously you don't.
You didn't "need" it, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to do it.
So again, you are simply giving lip service to some idea and seem to enjoy making everyone (them, you) a victim.


It may be just me but, casual sex stinks in the end, you may have a great orgasm but what’s left after?

It may be just me but, it seems like you are simply trying to use this forum post as a means of confession to validate the idea that you and she are victims or simple self aggrandizing rather than really think or learn anything.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 45
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/16/2013 5:50:14 AM

"wild monkey sex" with a stranger beats the hell out of dead fish sex

These forums provide so many amusing visuals ...
 inkibaludo2
Joined: 3/17/2013
Msg: 46
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/19/2013 3:14:43 PM
First of all, dude, it's SEX! There's a reason it's called a "one night stand". Sheesh! One goes into a bar and picks-up a honey for some lube and oil, not for deep philosophical meaning of Life.

Second thing, NO, there aren't more people coming-out with this, just more people on the internet posting their stories, that's all. Before the internet, it was called "gossip".

Look, if you meet a hot bangin' babe at a bar that wants to ride you like a wild bison, by all means, bang her hard, make her moan, groan, do her on the sofa, table, stairs, bed, carpet or from the chandelier and make her remember how you rocked her caboose. That's all.

If you're looking for a "connection", go out and ask a woman (you like) out. Don't go to a bar and then post some sob story on the web.

You're an adult and you knew what you were doing. Besides, it takes two to tango. We're not talking to a five year old here.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 47
view profile
History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/20/2013 4:40:35 PM
OP, are you serious?????? You went up to a woman in a bar, and got her to go home with you??????? The same night????????? OMG, I thought this was just in the movies. There are ACTUALLY people who do this? I've talked to loads of women in bars, but they usually just end up turning away and ignoring me, and talking with someone else.

That's amazing. Are you Brad Pitt??
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 48
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/20/2013 5:41:24 PM

One of the best nights of my life was a one night stand. She was travelling west. I was going east. We shared a night together. We both understood that it could only be one night. We both wanted it. I didn't feel empty, used or the user. It was just an oasis for two people who both needed some caring. I have no regrets.

I've had a couple in my life like that. There have been plenty of women I've slept with in my life where there was no expectation of a relationship, just two people being attracted and doing something nice for each other.


One night stands are not selfish if both parties go into it with honesty, maturity and without expectations. It's rare, but it happens.

Not so rare as one might think, and no so empty as some here are suggesting.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 49
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/27/2013 8:43:23 PM

One night stands are a selfish act. Sharing yourself is a very intimate thing.


I've shared more of myself in a good conversation that I have with some in sex. You are making way too much out of sex and that's your problem. You are missing the intamacy. The closeness. The connection.

You relate that to the act of sex. I get that. They usually coincide. They don't have to.
 cesska
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 50
view profile
History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 12:22:19 AM
did u catch anything?
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 51
view profile
History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 12:34:05 AM
hit it.quit it. move on.


she wasn't all that into you bragh otherwise she in yer kitchen the next morning in your oxford shirt, boiling a bunny and holding a chicken for asking "what's next?"
Then as you turn around to run you'd see the live chicken, a weedeater and scuba mask, piled on the love seat and a quart of astroglide....


I don't know that a one night stand is a selfish act if both people are willing, it's just an empty act which some people want. When you are hurting from a breakup it probably would really hit home how empty it was. Personally, I think a connection with the other person improves it 100%.


100 X 0 still equals 0. You may think there is a connection and they may show outward signs... still no guarantee there was one other than body flesh one body flesh.. Still a wash (maybe a trip to the doctor)
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 52
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 1:08:38 AM
Astroglide is good stuff, although the quart bottle must be kinda pricey.
 CasOliii
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 53
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 5:27:58 PM
Did you never consider that's why she WENT to the bar in the first place?
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 54
view profile
History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/4/2013 9:23:37 PM

Astroglide is good stuff, although the quart bottle must be kinda pricey.



prolly so... about the same price as having a bunny boiler in the morning too... wayyyyyyyy too expensive....
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 55
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/4/2013 10:37:46 PM
lol And you just learn this? Hello? What year is this? Did you skip out on sex ed class? DISEASES!!! ha ha ha Men, y'all are too funny sometime. Better get yourself checked out at the doctor, Hon.
I swear people need to use their upper head! I do hope you walk away empty inside because sexual transmitted diseases are on the rise.
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