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 AUTHOR
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 44
My History on sex (getting laid)Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I'm not all that sure what the point of this post is.


I was out with my male friends and was coaxed into talking to a single woman... I was attracted to

Are you decrying that you are easily influenced by your friends?
That you don't have the balls to talk to a woman unless you are pushed by your friends?


I did take her home (didn’t take a lot of coxing).

Are you saying it didn't take a lot of coaxing from your friends to get you to talk to her?
Or are you saying it didn't take a lot of coaxing on your part to take her home? This seems more likely, to me.
Why are you making it known that it didn't take a lot of coaxing?
Also, if you are saying it didn't take a lot of coaxing her to take her home then why are you feeling guilty?
Are you implying that she was really drunk, so you took advantage of a drunk woman and feel guilty?
Or are you trying to assuage your guilt by trying to pass blame for what you see as a shameful act to her?
Or are you trying to say you really don't respect women, and they just can't make their own decisions, that they are all victim to godlike persuasive powers of men?


The sex had no feelings involved no emotion, it was just sex for gratification or lust.

So? What makes you think she wanted anything more? Do you care? Or is it just about you and you feeling some sort of enlightenment after you have sex?


In the end I still felt empty inside

Key word here is "still."
So you were empty inside before you had sex with her, yet you still did it.


...and guilty (awkward). I felt guilty for using her in that way.

That's a little presumptuous isn't it?
So you saying (typing) this is basically you don't believe women can make decisions for themselves and they are little rabbits that are easily victimized by big bad super coaxing power men.


Some People need a connection and emotions to have sex with a partne

Obviously you don't.
You didn't "need" it, otherwise you wouldn't have been able to do it.
So again, you are simply giving lip service to some idea and seem to enjoy making everyone (them, you) a victim.


It may be just me but, casual sex stinks in the end, you may have a great orgasm but what’s left after?

It may be just me but, it seems like you are simply trying to use this forum post as a means of confession to validate the idea that you and she are victims or simple self aggrandizing rather than really think or learn anything.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 45
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/16/2013 5:50:14 AM

"wild monkey sex" with a stranger beats the hell out of dead fish sex

These forums provide so many amusing visuals ...
 inkibaludo2
Joined: 3/17/2013
Msg: 46
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/19/2013 3:14:43 PM
First of all, dude, it's SEX! There's a reason it's called a "one night stand". Sheesh! One goes into a bar and picks-up a honey for some lube and oil, not for deep philosophical meaning of Life.

Second thing, NO, there aren't more people coming-out with this, just more people on the internet posting their stories, that's all. Before the internet, it was called "gossip".

Look, if you meet a hot bangin' babe at a bar that wants to ride you like a wild bison, by all means, bang her hard, make her moan, groan, do her on the sofa, table, stairs, bed, carpet or from the chandelier and make her remember how you rocked her caboose. That's all.

If you're looking for a "connection", go out and ask a woman (you like) out. Don't go to a bar and then post some sob story on the web.

You're an adult and you knew what you were doing. Besides, it takes two to tango. We're not talking to a five year old here.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 47
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/20/2013 4:40:35 PM
OP, are you serious?????? You went up to a woman in a bar, and got her to go home with you??????? The same night????????? OMG, I thought this was just in the movies. There are ACTUALLY people who do this? I've talked to loads of women in bars, but they usually just end up turning away and ignoring me, and talking with someone else.

That's amazing. Are you Brad Pitt??
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 48
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/20/2013 5:41:24 PM

One of the best nights of my life was a one night stand. She was travelling west. I was going east. We shared a night together. We both understood that it could only be one night. We both wanted it. I didn't feel empty, used or the user. It was just an oasis for two people who both needed some caring. I have no regrets.

I've had a couple in my life like that. There have been plenty of women I've slept with in my life where there was no expectation of a relationship, just two people being attracted and doing something nice for each other.


One night stands are not selfish if both parties go into it with honesty, maturity and without expectations. It's rare, but it happens.

Not so rare as one might think, and no so empty as some here are suggesting.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 49
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/27/2013 8:43:23 PM

One night stands are a selfish act. Sharing yourself is a very intimate thing.


I've shared more of myself in a good conversation that I have with some in sex. You are making way too much out of sex and that's your problem. You are missing the intamacy. The closeness. The connection.

You relate that to the act of sex. I get that. They usually coincide. They don't have to.
 cesska
Joined: 11/7/2011
Msg: 50
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 12:22:19 AM
did u catch anything?
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 51
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 12:34:05 AM
hit it.quit it. move on.


she wasn't all that into you bragh otherwise she in yer kitchen the next morning in your oxford shirt, boiling a bunny and holding a chicken for asking "what's next?"
Then as you turn around to run you'd see the live chicken, a weedeater and scuba mask, piled on the love seat and a quart of astroglide....


I don't know that a one night stand is a selfish act if both people are willing, it's just an empty act which some people want. When you are hurting from a breakup it probably would really hit home how empty it was. Personally, I think a connection with the other person improves it 100%.


100 X 0 still equals 0. You may think there is a connection and they may show outward signs... still no guarantee there was one other than body flesh one body flesh.. Still a wash (maybe a trip to the doctor)
 GreenThumbz18
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 52
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 1:08:38 AM
Astroglide is good stuff, although the quart bottle must be kinda pricey.
 CasOliii
Joined: 1/23/2013
Msg: 53
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 4/28/2013 5:27:58 PM
Did you never consider that's why she WENT to the bar in the first place?
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 54
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/4/2013 9:23:37 PM

Astroglide is good stuff, although the quart bottle must be kinda pricey.



prolly so... about the same price as having a bunny boiler in the morning too... wayyyyyyyy too expensive....
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 55
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/4/2013 10:37:46 PM
lol And you just learn this? Hello? What year is this? Did you skip out on sex ed class? DISEASES!!! ha ha ha Men, y'all are too funny sometime. Better get yourself checked out at the doctor, Hon.
I swear people need to use their upper head! I do hope you walk away empty inside because sexual transmitted diseases are on the rise.
 dobbie101
Joined: 1/24/2011
Msg: 56
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/5/2013 6:30:15 AM
Casual sex ...a contradiction in terms.
What strange bedfellows loneliness and orgasms make.
You came a long way in recognising that this was a situation that led only to a loss of self value, for both of you. Well done.
 TheWindingRoad
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 57
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/27/2013 9:42:00 PM
Sex without love is like gorging yourself on junk food....it only feels good for a little while. I'm probably in the minority here, but that's really what it boils down to. What you have realized is that you're attempting to fill a void in your life by hooking up with someone who feels the same...both of you used each other. At least you have realized this, most people just keep on doing it, which is only going to cause the people involved to lose more of their self esteem.

It's much like anything else in life, people use alcohol, drugs, food, sex, etc. in an attempt to replace something that is missing in their lives, but they are only fooling themselves.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 58
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/27/2013 11:30:49 PM
have 1 night stand or watch porn and jack off? umm
I choose porn!
I'm not even comfortable making out with a stranger. Its not doing you or the other person that much good to Get it In with them and then be done with them. Too bad people don't have to have STD test before entering the bar! ha
 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 59
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/28/2013 12:30:33 AM
It's just a casual self help tip that doesn't really mean anything or have any real weight to it. They don't know what to say, so they just fall back the generic lines for advice.

Sex is whatever you want it to be. If you want to wait for something more meaningful, that's great.
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 60
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/28/2013 5:39:46 AM
(Msg. # 1. OhioEmptyNester) The sex had no feelings involved no emotion, it was just sex for gratification or lust. In the end I still felt empty inside and guilty (awkward). I felt guilty for using her in that way.


If you orgasmed you must have had some kind of feeling!!

You wrote,
Soon after I was out with my male friends and was coaxed into talking to a single woman at the local bar that I was attracted to, and yes I did take her home.


Again, you had feelings. You were attracted to her. If you had brought her home and even after turning all the lights off you had to put a bag over her head then I might agree you used her. However, consider that maybe she needed some male affection. Consider that maybe you did something nice for her.

You wrote,
It may be just me but, casual sex stinks in the end, you may have a great orgasm but what’s left after?


You said you found her attractive. Did you try to contact her again? And as for feelings you said you had a great orgasm. That’s feelings!

Being attracted to her and talking to her in the bar involved feelings. Driving home with the hope and desire to make love to her involved feelings. The chit-chat when you arrived home, the foreplay, the actual sex….all those things involved feelings. And maybe that’s exactly what the lady needed. Someone to flirt with her, someone to pay attention to her, someone to appreciate her, someone to make love to her.

I don’t understand why you say no feelings were involved. You were attracted to her. I would assume she was attracted to you. That’s the feelings.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 61
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/28/2013 8:07:48 AM
distrustfulDave..post 68

I don’t understand why you say no feelings were involved

The feelings he is probably referring to is "caring".....anyone can rut for the sake of need...like an animal....that's the easy part!
It was what it was....Just look at it sensibly and move on...you used each other.
Good Luck!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 62
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/28/2013 10:46:08 AM
OP
You followed a suggestion made by friends...
you tried it, you didn't like it enough to repeat the experience. So don't, already.
If you feel a need to make some sort of confession, talk to your spiritual advisor.
Cindy O
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 63
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/28/2013 12:49:48 PM
Damn Im going to the wrong bars...wait I don't drink or go to bars. Guess I might need to start.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 64
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My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/28/2013 5:25:39 PM
OP, I'm in Ohio - Cincinnati area. I have been to many bars, and have never had any luck at all getting any woman to "go home with me". I have observed many other guys trying to get women to go home with them, and they seem to have about the same luck I have. Are you sure you're not BSing us?
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 65
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/28/2013 6:06:28 PM

(Msg. #69. Whisky_River) The feelings he is probably referring to is "caring".....anyone can rut for the sake of need...like an animal....that's the easy part!


Perhaps it’s just me but I don’t understand not having any feelings for a person I had sex with. The person made me feel good. Why wouldn’t I have feelings for them? It doesn’t make any sense to me. I may not be madly in love with them but, yes, I do have feelings for them.

I think most people consider sex to be something really good. If that’s the case when someone does something really good for us don’t we naturally have feelings for them?

Where is sex on a scale of good deeds? Is sex better than lunch? If some random stranger offered to buy us lunch with no strings attached wouldn’t we appreciate them? If we dropped something we were carrying, say a handful of papers and a random stranger stopped to help us pick them up wouldn’t we be thankful? Wouldn’t we think nice thoughts about the person?

I’m just guessing but it sounds like one is talking about being ashamed of themselves if they don’t have good feelings about the other person. It sounds like they’re thinking, “Look what you made me do.” Or allowed me to do. Or some other guilty feeling due to their view of sex.

Two people sharing themselves is beautiful unless one is a wacko trying to hurt the other. In that case it’s not the sex that’s wrong. The wrongness is one person is disturbed, mentally ill or just wicked.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 66
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/31/2013 5:43:05 AM
People have physical needs and some people conclude that satisfying their physical need with a one-night-stand is unsatisfying, nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong with them if someone is really able to have them without angst.

I wouldn't conclude that you used this woman because any woman who goes home with a guy she just met might hope that something will evolve but they can be relatively certain it won't, ergo even if they are disappointed or hurt you did not use them.

I find it far more irksome to get into a relationship with a guy who really doesn't want a long-term commitment but perhaps without even knowing it they play the boyfriend game because that's the only way they are going to get regular sex with one person.

Many people don't realize that the brain is the most important sex organ and many men don't get that if they keep their partner happy she will make them very happy.

Casual sex will satisfy the physiology but the brain part is left bereft.
 RunForRad
Joined: 4/25/2013
Msg: 67
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/31/2013 1:44:19 PM
Yup, I am the same way. Never had a one night stand and never will. I believe sex comes with love........................old fashioned........
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 68
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History
My History on sex (getting laid)
Posted: 5/31/2013 1:50:53 PM
A number of men and women who are beholden to their hands and various other external sources might believe any partner with a pulse and is squeezable is intimate and a suitable partner to make sexual history with until something really really good comes along.
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