Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 4
First experience.. Not good.. scam?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

have a pleasant exchange
was this through email or text?

Talking on the phone after email contact will give you both a better sense of the person and if you are compatible before a meet n' greet.
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 6
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/13/2013 6:38:39 PM
So you were getting updates on her delays etc. through emails on the website! She was driving, retrieving emails from pof and responding to you.
She never left home!

Google has a service where you can get a phone number and you can make and receive calls through your phone using this number and the caller does not get your real number.
Next time, talk to the girl on the phone before you meet.
Joined: 4/2/2013
Msg: 7
view profile
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/13/2013 6:43:42 PM
Honestly man, after what just happened to me, I would have been begging to be stood up. Check out my story in the
dating experiences forum.

Trust me, be happy she didn't show.
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 9
view profile
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/13/2013 6:52:10 PM
It happens and being stood up is way way low on the weirdness you will find in online dating. Just chalk it up to "whatever" and move forward. Online dating can be brutal in so many ways.
Joined: 4/2/2013
Msg: 13
view profile
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/13/2013 7:38:40 PM
Oh for sure talk on the phone first. If you are that worried about crazies, just get a cheapo pre paid phone with a couple hundred minutes and youre all set.
Joined: 8/6/2012
Msg: 15
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/13/2013 10:42:57 PM
I've never been stood up, and most of my dates were initiated from on site conversations only, no phone. Still, you do have to be careful. Online dating can be a mess. You don't know who you are talking to, and I think these free sites make it all the more easy for tricks and pranks to happen because anyone, for free, can sign up and start screwing with people.

Although I no longer use online dating, my "best" experiences were from Never had a problem with anyone goofing around on that site. I met all the guys I had planned on meeting, no "no shows."

POF was the first site I decided to stay away from, didn't seem much better than Cr@igslist.
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 18
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/14/2013 6:05:40 AM

Well, you know those florida women can be very flakey! Lol

I think I know what coffee shop you were at.....and the parking was difficult yesturday.......maybe she just gave up? Or she walked by.....saw you and kept going.....Who knows! You live and hopefully learn! Good luck!
Joined: 11/11/2012
Msg: 30
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/21/2013 1:54:14 PM
What time did the message come through? I find messages that come through between 1-5am (West coast) are always the fake/scam international lot.

Give as your number, the local FBI number :)
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 32
view profile
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/23/2013 1:35:28 AM
When I was looking, I always spoke on the phone before meeting, not because I particularly planned it that way, it just seemed like a natural progression to me. At the very least you would (probably!) be able to tell the gender of the person! I was never stood up but twice I was cancelled on a few hours before the initial meet. But both men rescheduled and oddly, both ended up as LTR's, and I am still with the second guy.

As for your Ms Flakey- I would not give her a second chance as she was pretty rude the first time.
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 34
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/26/2013 3:28:19 AM

Then a woman with a profile I really liked sends the "this person would like to meet you" deal.

"Meet me" Does not mean someone legitimately wants to meet you. They see a pic, they can click "yes, no, maybe" maybe's are counted as yes. It's like "HOT OR NOT" and you keep cycling through pictures.

Which is in a downtown square which is having an event going on which is very crowded.. making it difficult ( but not impossible to park) I am there early.. get a couple messages from her, saying she is running late, and she is on the way.. OK cool.. I wait an entire hour and she is a no show.. I send a message back to her asking if she is OK, ( thinking she could have been in a car accident ??

She shouldn't be no more than 15 minutes late. She said she is running late, so I would have given her a half-hour. If she's a no-show then, she should have gotten a text that said "I have another meeting to get to. Let's make plans to reschedule soon. Take care"

Car accident is highly unlikely. You guys are too naive. If she hasn't arrived within a half-hour, it's a good rule of thumb to leave as she's either disorganized or isn't all that interested. Showing up to things on time tells you a lot about a person, how they manage their life, and what's going on in it.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 35
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/29/2013 1:57:17 PM

She is not a scam, she is a flake. Plenty of flakes here. That is why I develop this policy. No phone number, no date. If I call to confirm and she does not respond at all, no date. Usually the first call they may not respond, because they look at their phone and do not know who it is, but after listening to your cordial, fun message that you left. They call. If they do not call back. I usually would call again, maybe the next day or closer to the date and say "Hey there, I just need to confirm that we are meeting tomorrow at seven. Please give me a buzz." If she still does not respond, it's a huge red flag. On the day of the date, I will call during the day and say, "hey how are you doing. Are we still on. Let me know, otherwise I am going to assume that we are NOT on. Call me to make sure we are still on."

No call, no show for me. And yes there are plenty of flake women out there. Interestingly enough, women that do this type of s hit come up with the lamest of excuses and then they want you to set up another meet up. If they have no respect for the first date, they will have no respect for the relationship. So move on. Ignore them. And make your own rules.
Joined: 9/30/2012
Msg: 37
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 4/29/2013 5:31:17 PM
Who meets without first speaking on the phone? Why would anyone do this?
I had first meetings with maybe HALF of the males to whom I spoke; one phone conversation weeds out a LOT of them and saves one from an uncomfortable meet.
Perhaps this is one of the reasons I have never had any of the bad experiences some females on here speak of; I could tell by the one phone call who NOT to bother meeting.
Joined: 11/12/2013
Msg: 38
view profile
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 11/30/2013 3:30:12 PM
Hello. A couple weeks ago I was browsing my matches and saw one that got my interest. I put her on my favorites list. A day or so later I saw she was on line and had added me to her favorites. I messaged her hi and she replied. I gave her my phone number shortly after and we started texting for a week or so. Everything seemed legitimate. She said she owned a small hair salon in chili wi which is about 50 miles from me. She also says she buys and sells art work. So we text daily for a few days and we exchange pics. Then she tells me she's flying to Philippines for the second time this year to get artwork to sell here. She wants to get artwork that is still salvageable after hurricane. Ok so far. She left couple thursdays ago. I text her while she's down there everyday. We have plans to get together when she comes back. Now on wednesday she texts me and asks if I could send her $900 because she's running short of cash. I delay because something seems odd now. So we continue to text and now last night she asked for $2000 because she wants to balance her books because shipping charges for artwork are adding up to more than she thought. She finally calls me on phone because I'm getting suspicious. She calls from different phone than I text her on. She has very noticeable accent which I found strange. She said if I could get her $1500 she would be able to balance her books and come back. The phone conversation wasn't long. I've been delaying, giving excuses about not sending money. She asks if I could send her money on monday so she can come back. I ask if she's ok and she said yes but would like to come back soon. I'm puzzled because everything seemed legitimate until now. Any suggestions?
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 41
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 11/30/2013 7:17:25 PM
Somewhere on this site it states...DO NOT SEND MONEY!. Now let me repeat...DO NOT SEND MONEY! Yes, report it.
Of course, it sounds legit...that's how they make their money. Let me repeat one more time...DO NOT SEND MONEY!
And look up "catfishing."
Joined: 10/18/2013
Msg: 43
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 12/1/2013 6:43:22 AM
Hmmm never met, yet asks for $1500, is it a scam??

HELLO McFly..knock knock knock...HELLO!!!!!
Of course she's trying to scam you dude..wake up!
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 44
First experience.. Not good.. scam?
Posted: 12/1/2013 9:42:07 AM
I sometimes get confused as to whether or not people are for real.....I find myself thinking "How can this be?"

Dude with the chick asking for money, are you for real? I only ask because you look old enough to be able to figure your situation out within about 10 seconds, but you say you're still wondering about that for real or are you pulling my leg?
Is it really true there's a sucker born every minute? Like, every minute?

And for the original posted question, this is easy. Here are your steps-
1. message on POF, if all seems ok to you, go to step 2.
2. Exchange phone numbers and real FIRST names ( no last names, no, no, no). If this actually happens in a non weird way ( for instance if their area code is one that is obviously not from where they say they live, and no explanation was given as to why they say they live in New Hampshire but their area code is for New Mexico...well that's a little weird...right?) (Or they say their name is Mary but when you call Tom answers...weird right?) go to step 3.
3. Talk on the phone. If something is said that creeps you out, well good thing to find out now, right? but if all goes ok, go to step 4.
4. Arrange to either A. Talk again on the phone, or B. meet someplace public.
5. See if they show up and if they do, hope they look kinda sorta like the photos they posted.
6. Don't deviate from this procedure.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >