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 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 51
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperatePage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
(Msg. #1. (SimpleCltMan) One woman actually asked me if I could help her pay her rent and she would be willing to be a regular "thing" if I could do that for her.


My profile states I’m in a sexless marriage and seeking some affection. A young lady replied and said she might be able to help me if I would help her. After crunching the numbers I offered $100.00 each time we meet.

If I had met a married woman in my situation it would have cost $150.00 for a decent hotel room and around $100.00 for dinner and a drink, excluding wine. Total: $250.00. I’m able to get a 4-hour motel deal for $50.00 plus the hundred I give her for a total of $150.00.


(Msg #37) I could have paid to have sex with that woman, but it would have been empty, alone, and against my moral code.


As for being “empty and alone” the gal I met is a single Mom who has returned to school. Being young and extremely attractive she’s not shy. That translates into being affectionate. Very affectionate. I did have concerns in the beginning it would be “mechanical” but because she enjoys sex she doesn’t “fake it” which naturally adds to the overall enjoyment.

I understand if one is seeking a full time relationship (partnership/marriage) it wouldn’t be sufficient but if physical intimacy is what’s lacking it's more than adequate. The passion and desire are there.

Just saying.

EDIT: I want to add we spend four hours together each time.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 52
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 10:17:57 AM

I think he figured everyone has a price and he threw out a price he thought I wouldn't say no to. $3K for my dignity wasn't a big deal for him.

Well, actually that would indicate More dignity than 30 cents. I mean, $3k for a BJ? You'd probably need a Beverly Hills high-end escort to pay that much, right? Point being, for an insanely high price vs pennies or even for mere Sympathy without money -- comparatively speaking, shows more dignity.

He got drunk while we were hanging out and promptly revealed what he thought of me. I was 22 while he was 35 or so. I didn't realize at that time that many guys don't WANT to JUST be friends.

When you're 1-on-1 friends -- he almost always does Not want to be Platonic. Exceptions:

(a) He's brand new in town and the 1-on-1 friends is just temporary, as he's meeting others
(b) You're not that pretty or are but shot him down already, but you have pretty friends (again, temporary 1-on-1)

Many guys though won't have Crushes... and can/will fully accept they won't 'get' the 1-on-1 female friend after the writing's on the wall .... but like the girl, he can want the attention. However, crush or not, sometimes the guy can end up getting frustrated. Sometimes not.

So always note that there's a big difference between Group Friends and 1-on-1 Friends of the opposite sex. :)

And in the case of your older friend bringing out the Hypothetical $3k BJ scenario... How offensive that is, would be I think, due to the context/attitude he delivered it. If he's treating you like a dirty girl and meaning it, then yeah... if his focal point on "everyone would do almost anything for a certain amount of money", and with bad game, is putting himself in there as a hypothetical character -- then that's different.

I mean, if someone offered me $100 million to give a BJ to Mike Tyson in a public park at high noon, I'd do it. I don't think it's about dignity at that point. It's more like an ultra-ultra-crazy version of Fear Factor. I wouldn't be doing it for a "dare" or "oh look at me!" or 10 bucks. I think trading in humiliation and something makes you gag (pun intended) temporarily for something life-changing for you and/or others in the positive direction permanently -- is a wise choice. :) That example would be beyond any gray area. Of course, beyond gray areas are never offered, so it's never beyond hypothetical and to laugh at.
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 10:45:48 AM
dishearteneddave (msg 60)

Well, now I'm confused. I thought you were in a 17 year happy marriage. But it's sexless/affectionless?
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 54
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 12:00:26 PM

(Msg. #62. (Drinkthesunwithmyface) dishearteneddave (msg 60)
Well, now I'm confused. I thought you were in a 17 year happy marriage. But it's sexless/affectionless?


Yes, it's been sexless for years. Well, twice in 2011 and 2012. Other than that we get along great.

I'll also add we've discussed it, ad nauseum, with no resolution in sight so I decided to take an alternate route. I asked if she wanted a divorce thinking there may be a hidden problem but she insists she loves me. Considering most people say sex isn't what makes a successful marriage, it's all about caring about each other and getting along on a day to day basis, it seems like the logical alternative.
 SimpleCltMan
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 55
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 12:30:05 PM

My profile states I’m in a sexless marriage and seeking some affection. A young lady replied and said she might be able to help me if I would help her. After crunching the numbers I offered $100.00 each time we meet.

If I had met a married woman in my situation it would have cost $150.00 for a decent hotel room and around $100.00 for dinner and a drink, excluding wine. Total: $250.00. I’m able to get a 4-hour motel deal for $50.00 plus the hundred I give her for a total of $150.00.


Sorry my friend. I think you are justifying it. I was in a sexless marriage and she eventually left. However even for two years, I didn't cheat on her. So $0 dollars for me. I know it sounds harsh, but is that affection really worth that? You could spend that much in counseling to find out what the problem is with your wife.


I understand if one is seeking a full time relationship (partnership/marriage) it wouldn’t be sufficient but if physical intimacy is what’s lacking it's more than adequate. The passion and desire are there.


I can would rather go without than to do that. I did for 2 years and even though it was tough, I did it. I still miss that physical intimacy. However, not enough to pay for it. I am not going to judge you for it. You have your life to live and if it works for you more power to you. However, paying for it to me seems very demeaning to me and the woman.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 56
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 1:29:41 PM
Gee Dave, on another thread you stated there was " no set price." Hmm
 dishearteneddave
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 57
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 6:16:58 PM

(Msg. #64. (SimpleCltMan) You could spend that much in counseling to find out what the problem is with your wife………I can would rather go without than to do that. I did for 2 years and even though it was tough, I did it.


In my case it has been deteriorating for 5+ years. I just mentioned the last 2 to show the degree. As to counseling we’ve concluded it’s due to hormones. There are no hidden problems. She has offered the proverbial “pity-f**k”. Because members in her family have been stricken with breast cancer and hormone therapy can increase the risk that option is out of the question.


(Msg. #65. (Ouija2013) Gee Dave, on another thread you stated there was " no set price." Hmm


Well, there isn’t, really. When I first met her I told her I would give her $100 each time we met. After seeing her a number of times I grew to like her in a non-sexual way as well so I told her I would like to see her more often to do activities but I could only give her $300/mth. (We all have a budget.) So, she said that was OK.

Although she didn’t mention it I’m sure she was concerned I would use all the “free time” to get free sex but being the “decent” guy I am I won’t take advantage of it. I have seen her a couple of times and didn’t give her any money but I did buy lunch. Also, with summer coming I told her we would take a few drives in the country or go to the beach. That could involve a good part of the day.

We currently meet for 4 hours when we are intimate so that works out to $25/hr. Not exactly hooker rates. Of course, my being 60 years old precludes being “active” for 4 consecutive hours. We spend a large portion of our time involved in what’s colloquially termed “pillow talk”.

It’s important to understand my wife and I have discussed this numerous times over the last five years. During those years she has felt compelled to offer excuses. Changed jobs. Bought a business. Sold the business. A family death. Menopause……The point being she just doesn’t feel like it. She doesn’t have those feelings just like when we were all pre-puberty. I’m sure anyone here who is over 50 does not feel like sex the way they did when they were 25 or, at the very least, know they don’t have the same stamina.

It’s the same thing when people first meet. As the years pass the frequency slows down. That doesn’t mean there is a problem. Some people slow down more than others. It’s not uncommon for those in their early 20s to jump anything they can but become less sexually adventurous as they grow older.

At the end of the day (literally, at night) what would be accomplished if there is a hormone problem? Nothing, as hormone therapy is not a viable solution.

Compromise? A “pity-f**k”? Talk about faking it!

Again, there is no animosity between us and I think it will only create such if I (we) continually look at it as a problem. Counseling can take months, if not years, and if we start looking for causes (problems) I’m sure we’ll find some reason on which to blame it. At the very least it will certainly put us at each other’s throat. And for what?

My wife has said she is happy. She said she loves me. She said she doesn’t want a divorce. I have found a solution that takes nothing away from her nor requires anything of her. Furthermore, it has quieted my “inner feelings”, for lack of better terminology. If I was conscious of it, it had to have been affecting me on a subconscious level, as well.

If cheating was always my goal I wouldn’t have waited 17 years. If having arm/eye candy was my goal it does me little good as I can’t show her to anyone I know. There goes the ego thing, as well.

I don’t think there’s anything more stereotyped than a man with a young woman. The reality is quite different.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 58
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 6:31:53 PM
no, there is nothing more stereotypical than someone who fibs. First there is no price, then there is, and then you do the Math and break it down LOL What is a kiss worth Dave? How about the price to cry over your coffin? Is that $25 an hour?
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 59
view profile
History
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 6:49:24 PM
Actually you can hire mourners for 100 dollars an event...wake services and post funeral meal cost extra...
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 60
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/17/2013 7:09:43 PM
@UntrustfulDave

My wife has said she is happy. She said she loves me. She said she doesn’t want a divorce

Sooo...she knows your boning some young hooker? You've told her?
She will find out...you know, sooner or later.

don’t think there’s anything more stereotyped than a man with a young woman.

Isn't it funny when some old geyser pays for it...they want to pretend it isn't what it really is....lol.
Hope the viagra is working....
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 61
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/18/2013 2:37:13 AM
Don't feed the animal!

He's a cheater without a conscience and a thread jacker!
 Hanoverfella
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 62
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/18/2013 11:47:24 AM
"My wife has said she is happy. She said she loves me. She said she doesn’t want a divorce. I have found a solution that takes nothing away from her nor requires anything of her. Furthermore, it has quieted my “inner feelings”, for lack of better terminology. If I was conscious of it, it had to have been affecting me on a subconscious level, as well. "
I can't believe ANY woman would mind their husband sleeping around and spending $300 a month on someone for sex, too say it takes nothing from her is wrong, aside from the financial loss to both of your assets, what about what it must do to your wife's self asteem!
Maybe your wife would have sex if you offered HER the cash instead?
 MS.ICENI
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 63
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History
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/18/2013 3:14:21 PM
If he had offered ME the money, I could have saved it up and gotten the divorce sooner.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 64
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 4/20/2013 11:03:39 PM

My wife has said she is happy. She said she loves me. She said she doesn’t want a divorce. I have found a solution that takes nothing away from her nor requires anything of her. Furthermore, it has quieted my “inner feelings”, for lack of better terminology. If I was conscious of it, it had to have been affecting me on a subconscious level, as well.


So your wife is happy, loves you, and doesn't want a divorce... even knowing that you are having sex with another woman? Or, wait, are you saying she *doesn't* know, and you are doing it behind her back, justifying that it "takes nothing away from her nor requires anything of her"? 'Cause if that is the case, well, it takes 'honesty' about your relationship away from her, and requires that she keep trusting someone who is lying to her and cheating behind her back.
 zbomb90
Joined: 10/18/2014
Msg: 65
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/29/2014 10:12:18 AM
I had a girl message me ab p2p and i said wtf is that? And she never responded bk so whatever. I still dont ****n know what it really is.
 hemingway114
Joined: 6/16/2014
Msg: 66
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/29/2014 10:57:44 AM
It's code for golddiggers/prostitutes.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 67
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/29/2014 3:04:46 PM
I thought P2P was a bit like (B to B) Business to Business sales.

In a way it is.
 dardikadrake
Joined: 5/10/2010
Msg: 68
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/29/2014 8:45:25 PM
You should not accept an offer if you are looking for a relationship. If you are looking for just sex then something like this means you can have no worries that it will evolve into something past a purchase for something you need at the moment.

I am not against Prostitution but if it is illegal in your are then do not do it. If it is legal then just make sure you both are DD free. You don't want something you didn't pay for.

Many people need to be touched and unfortunately the law has stepped in and said where you can and cannot be touched on your body by another person if that touch produces any kind of pleasure with payment. I find this absurd.

If it was legal in Florida, I would go buy myself a whole freaking night with a damn good looking man who knows what they hell he is doing. Knowing I don't have t0 share the remote with him or get his beer or smell his gas, is a plus.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 69
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/29/2014 9:16:10 PM
msright78

Some women prefer to sell their favours I guess rather than go out to work 5 days a week in some store or office. They may have children to support and this is the easiest way. Of course many are on drugs or other problems going on. Some women give sex away for free to some guy who only disrespects her for it so why not get something out of it??

It takes two to tango and it is up to the guy to say yea or nay. As some have said men have always paid for sex one way or another, and many marriages are just a veneer of respectability for prostitution. Especially with the older man and the younger woman and I guess sometimes vice versa. While there are buyers, there will always be sellers.
 ChaChucky
Joined: 10/23/2014
Msg: 70
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/29/2014 10:26:06 PM

At first, I didn't know what they meant until a male friend explained that are looking for "pay to play"


Shell out the bucks, dude.

The pinball machine at the arcade isn't going to run on
goodwill, so pony up the dough, and go for the extra ball.

Don't force me to elucidate these levels of abstraction, or American argot, or you'll
be just like the coin machine next to the Daytona 500 driver simulation game -
so money, and you [w]on't even know it.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 71
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/29/2014 11:18:33 PM
The girl gets $25 an hour to stay put in some sleazy motel with a married guy? What a fool she is! Way underpaid!!!!. I wonder how "passionate" and desirous she would be if the money were withdrawn? Just saying.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 72
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History
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 10/30/2014 4:48:39 PM
OP, I've never personally run into this. In fact, in 3 years, I've only ever had one reply from a woman I messaged, and it never went any further than that. However, I suppose with the economy (as great as the President SAYS it is) the way it is, I'd be surprised if there weren't more women engaging in this. These are desperate times methinks.
 debgoldie
Joined: 11/30/2013
Msg: 73
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P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 11/1/2014 1:59:14 AM
I was just dating a man who told me that he had several offers like that. This world is getting nuttier by the day. On behalf of normal women on POF my apologies for the dirtbags.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 74
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History
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 11/2/2014 2:54:35 PM
As the saying goes, you're not paying them to play, you're paying them to leave after playing.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 75
P2P.. Really?!!? Not that desperate
Posted: 11/2/2014 9:15:13 PM
Be grateful they were obvious with their intentions.

I've had more subtle variations.

"He stopped paying alimony last month"

"My head gasket is blown"

"I have a mortgage and my roommate is moving out soon"

All said on first dates.

Financial duress kills chemistry!

She would have had more success if she had said those things after a great 3rd date...lmao
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