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 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 26
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Common InterestsPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Blonde Angle, true 'to an extent'. Everyone likes to cuddle, etc. While you are cuddling there are still topics of conversation, genres of movies to watch, types of food to eat. Most of us guys have experienced the good looking woman' who is great to hold but it can wear thin after a while. What makes 'this' the person? We don't need just anybody to hold but a particular person because that person has common interests, similar outlook on life, similar expectations, stage of life, etc.
 tnt144
Joined: 2/1/2013
Msg: 27
Common Interests
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:15:43 PM
More....

- People who are not attracted to each other will often say they have nothing in common.

- People who fall in love think they have lots in common.

People tend to make up things to justify their desires.

- We have all seen an odd couple and thought to ourselves, "They are so different, what do they see in each other?" - ah, but they are in love. Love really can change everything.... particularly how a person sees things.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 28
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:21:22 PM
I think they are important. I am an animal lover....someone who killed animals for sport would not appeal to me, for example.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 29
Common Interests
Posted: 4/22/2013 7:00:56 PM
blacklady1953,


I think they are important. I am an animal lover....someone who killed animals for sport would not appeal to me, for example.


Strange you don't have that in some way on your profile. But you do have jazz, if a man didn't like jazz, would that be a deal breaker?
 charliesmom21
Joined: 6/22/2009
Msg: 30
Common Interests
Posted: 4/22/2013 7:07:55 PM
+1 Bogie.. I miss the little things as well.. Just having someone there who has your back. Someone who cares how your day was and I like caring about his day. It is the little things you really miss.. not hiking or swimming or tennis.. Thanks for the reminder.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 31
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/22/2013 10:47:27 PM
Bogie: It has been said that opposites attract. Do total opposites attract totally?

Seriously though, you hit the nail dead square on the head. If he loves to fish and you hate getting up early and setting in the sun for hours, what has that got to do with how you interact with each other in other areas? Personally, I like to chase rainbows. Almost caught a couple, but they managed to get away just as I grabbed for them. Would it really bother a woman that I grab the binoculars, climb in the Jeep, pull out into the rain, and take off after a colorful beam of light? I haven't met many women that list that as an interest.

I guess I'm doomed.
 Just___Jim
Joined: 10/21/2012
Msg: 32
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 7:54:09 AM
[from activemelanney]

My 'common interest' necessity was him being physically active and leading a healthy lifestyle. After that, the cards just fall where they do. People with energy find more energy to do new things. Mostly attitude.


Yes, imo when the attiude is in a healthy balance, anything is possible in a better relationship that will and does find a way to co-exist in a very nice ambiance together.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 33
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 8:54:40 AM

I knew exactly what he meant - he missed her puttering in the kitchen while he read the paper, or him puttering in the garage while she puttered in the garden, or just sitting quietly watching the TV news, just knowing someone you loved was just a few steps, a light touch and a quiet whisper away.


Very eloquently put..."a quiet whisper away"....love that ~smiles~

Yes....I miss all those little things too Bogie and on Saturday night, even though I was surrounded by family, I felt my "aloneness"....that familiar ache. It was like a punch in the stomach...so strong. I watched my daughter and son-in-law as they playfully teased one another. My niece and her hubby holding onto their two year old. Even my 17 year old had her boyfriend along. Everyone was "coupled up" ...except me.

Deleting my profile is not an option for me. I know what the chances are of meeting someone on a dating site but I think of it like buying a lotto ticket....if I don't buy one, I will never win anything *grins*

...mae
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 34
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 9:10:51 AM
Good analogy Mae......."I know what the chances are of meeting someone on a dating site but I think of it like buying a lotto ticket....if I don't buy one, I will never win anything *grins*"

If one spends all their time, money and energy on a dating site for that one and only, they might as well just go out and use that money to buy lottery tickets!! This site is just a tool in your tool box, and unfortunately for far to many, their tool box is very small and very limited!!

I use the analogy for dating and social sites as one of needing a nice warm coat and grabbing one from the closet and finding a $100 bill in it!! Life can be good when you least expect it!

cd
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 35
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 9:28:27 AM
Oh no.....I don't leave things to chance Deacon, I also belong to several meetup groups where we all have one or mor things in common..."shared interests"...lol

Hey, when I took one of my coats to the cleaners I did find $40.oo in the pocket. *damn, if only I had my thinking cap on, I would have bought lotto tickets*

...mae
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 36
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 3:35:33 PM

Personally, I like to chase rainbows. Almost caught a couple, but they managed to get away just as I grabbed for them. Would it really bother a woman that I grab the binoculars, climb in the Jeep, pull out into the rain, and take off after a colorful beam of light?


Hey.....just so it's the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow you seek and not the little tight bunned leprechaun :)
 hounddoug
Joined: 3/21/2013
Msg: 37
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 4:05:37 PM

It has been said that opposites attract. Do total opposites attract totally?


No, absolute opposites attract absolutely.

Some have interests that many wouldn't consider to be the norm and people can sometimes be critical of them; sometimes, but not always, in words really but in their attitude.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 38
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 5:40:24 PM

"You know, I have someone to go hiking with, I have someone to go to the art gallery with, I have enough family and friends to share meals with, what I miss is someone to do absolutley nothing with."


Sigh...someone who gets it.
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 39
Common Interests
Posted: 4/23/2013 7:27:07 PM
Common interests/hobbies is a must have. Not everything in common but enough to compliment each other.
 satx78218
Joined: 10/30/2007
Msg: 40
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/24/2013 7:16:50 AM
Many 45+ have enough experiences for fixed, almost rigid, world view, including ethics, morality, religion, diet, money, spiritual beliefs, politics, social issues, which imo and experience, are much more important, even fatally so, than relatively trivial interests, hobbies, pastimes.

Rigid in the sense of being unchanging, defensive, combative about their positions. iow, such opposites don't attract, they are prohibitive.

There's a LOT of stuff to line up.
 Stubidooo
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 41
Common Interests
Posted: 4/24/2013 7:39:39 AM

Sigh...someone who gets it.

According to the women's profiles on this site ... that's a crock. They certainly aren't inclined to do "absolutely nothing". They are looking for activity partners at the very least and most want a full time entertainment director.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 42
Common Interests
Posted: 4/24/2013 10:44:15 AM

According to the women's profiles on this site ... that's a crock. They certainly aren't inclined to do "absolutely nothing". They are looking for activity partners at the very least and most want a full time entertainment director.


LOL.
I get suspicious when I see a woman's profile that has a long list of physical activities, especially if she has kids who are still at home or she's in her 50's or older, as well as having a career. Doing all of the activities listed on a regular basis would even be hard for a pro athlete to keep up. I think a lot of the activities are things that were tried once or twice in her lifetime, and because it was tried, they add to their list.

I've seen profiles where women say they like hanging out at the cottage in the summer or have boating as one of the interests. Does this mean they have their own cottage or boat and would be willing to share being with a man at their cottage or on their boat, or are they looking for a man who has those items?
 Green_Jello44
Joined: 6/19/2011
Msg: 43
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/24/2013 1:05:47 PM

Miss Wooby you have a good point with your post. I was just thinking back when young, I never met a boy wondering what his interests or his commonalities with me were. We just met and dated. Found out things about each other as we went along having fun! Thing is with dating sites and preferences, I think they preclude us from meeting some great folks if we let it.
- spot on, and this is one reason why dating sites don't work. Some people sell themselves short, and some oversell themselves......why the f is wine tasting a hobby? I actually walk on the beach, where are the throngs of women who say they walk on the beach? If a woman likes to zip line while bungee jumping and whitewater rafting in 20 different countries, I'm not messaging her.......less is more, and differences are sexy.
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 44
Common Interests
Posted: 4/24/2013 2:25:41 PM
I actually prefer someone who has some interests that are different from mine. I think it makes for a better relationship if a couple each have their own hobbies, etc. People not have to be clones of each other or spend every waking moment together to have a successful relationship. I once dated a man who had a couple of hobbies that I did not care to participate in, I had the same. It worked out really well.

Like one person posted, the key is to find someone who you can do absolutely nothing with and have a great time. This man I dated and I had some of our best times and the most fun just running errands together on Saturdays. We would make a list in geographical order of where each of us needed to go, then spend the day taking care of all our individual errands together. Ah, memories.... :-)
 brisco414
Joined: 4/20/2012
Msg: 45
Common Interests
Posted: 4/24/2013 5:22:49 PM
as per malemann999:

"I've seen profiles where women say they like hanging out at the cottage in the summer or have boating as one of the interests. Does this mean they have their own cottage or boat and would be willing to share being with a man at their cottage or on their boat, or are they looking for a man who has those items?"

I don't have a summer cottage but I do have a very nice ski boat. And yes, believe it or not, some of over 50 women really do enjoy boating. I'm even willing to share it with the right man. So if you look at it the other way around, there might some guy that loves boating minus the boat. Common interests where both of us would mutually benefit providing there is a connection.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 46
Common Interests
Posted: 4/25/2013 7:30:37 AM
do most people find others of the opposite sex with common interests/hobbies?


I wouldn't let common interests be my sole guide for interest in the opposite sex. People aren't necessarily trying to be dishonest or deceptive but more so trying to seem interesting to the masses on here & list a multitude of things. I mean unless it's something very specific you or they partake on a regular basis most can find common ground. At our age, after many years as parents & someones spouse, we crave new & different things or are at least open to trying them.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 47
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/25/2013 11:36:11 AM
All I wanted was a gal that could hold a flashlight steady. My late night hobby was finding those people with barking dogs, and turning off their water supply with my meter key. Oh well, they came out with those LED head bands, so I guess I can go it alone.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 48
Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 9:28:58 AM
Yanno...my experience is some of these "so active" ppl are really ppl looking for someone to help them be active, because without the prompting to do something..."Days of Our Lives" and reality TV are the only activities they enjoy.

Hmmm...beach cottages and boats (can we include travel as well?)...now wouldn't it be nice if both parties brought something of value to the table rather than an expecttion of being given that which they want but don't have???
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 49
Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 2:08:59 PM
First, let me say that I'm not yet 45 but I'm almost across the finish line. lol The interests part is a difficult one, since my interests don't necessarily fit most 40-something men. So...and this is terrible...I've had to fudge on soooomething about my profile (just one thing) and I'm not saying what. I feel bad. But this was the only way I could actually meet guys of the same interests. Eventually, I tell them the truth and after a few months, it's no biggie. I've since found a wonderful man, so my "fudging" a little bit worked. lol
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 50
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 4:28:37 PM
^^^^Oh shit! don't do this to us, we can't stand it...tell us now, what was it ?...Please....purty PLEASE! ....whisper it to me, and I won't tell anyone. LOL
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