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 AUTHOR
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 46
Common InterestsPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
do most people find others of the opposite sex with common interests/hobbies?


I wouldn't let common interests be my sole guide for interest in the opposite sex. People aren't necessarily trying to be dishonest or deceptive but more so trying to seem interesting to the masses on here & list a multitude of things. I mean unless it's something very specific you or they partake on a regular basis most can find common ground. At our age, after many years as parents & someones spouse, we crave new & different things or are at least open to trying them.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 47
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/25/2013 11:36:11 AM
All I wanted was a gal that could hold a flashlight steady. My late night hobby was finding those people with barking dogs, and turning off their water supply with my meter key. Oh well, they came out with those LED head bands, so I guess I can go it alone.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 48
Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 9:28:58 AM
Yanno...my experience is some of these "so active" ppl are really ppl looking for someone to help them be active, because without the prompting to do something..."Days of Our Lives" and reality TV are the only activities they enjoy.

Hmmm...beach cottages and boats (can we include travel as well?)...now wouldn't it be nice if both parties brought something of value to the table rather than an expecttion of being given that which they want but don't have???
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 49
Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 2:08:59 PM
First, let me say that I'm not yet 45 but I'm almost across the finish line. lol The interests part is a difficult one, since my interests don't necessarily fit most 40-something men. So...and this is terrible...I've had to fudge on soooomething about my profile (just one thing) and I'm not saying what. I feel bad. But this was the only way I could actually meet guys of the same interests. Eventually, I tell them the truth and after a few months, it's no biggie. I've since found a wonderful man, so my "fudging" a little bit worked. lol
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 50
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 4:28:37 PM
^^^^Oh shit! don't do this to us, we can't stand it...tell us now, what was it ?...Please....purty PLEASE! ....whisper it to me, and I won't tell anyone. LOL
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 51
Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 4:38:55 PM
^^^ Oh c'mon! lol Does everyone fudge about that a bit?

My interests were punk concerts, raves, rock climbing, etc. Believe it or not, I actually found a guy in his 40s that likes all that. But at some point, I'm going to have to spill the beans about you-know-what.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 52
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/26/2013 5:20:27 PM
^^^^Hell no, I don't know what...WHAT?.....you are so mean, I hope he spanks your fanny.LOL
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 53
Common Interests
Posted: 4/27/2013 10:58:27 AM
^^^^^ It was Rock Climbing lol and yes I would come clean on that one.



You don't need someone to complete you. You only need someone to accept you COMPLETELY.


Right. And that's why I've been single for 15 years. I'm just unacceptable
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 54
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/27/2013 12:57:17 PM
I agree with what Satx posted ... values, ethics, morality, health, diet and
even religion and politics ... are important to share or, at least,
tolerate ...

I was friends with a woman with whom I had a great deal in common ...
but she would steal things whenever possible ... she would brag about
sneaking into events without paying ... turns out, I can't be friends with
someone I don't respect ... she was puzzled at my insistence that I do the
"right thing," even when no one would notice ... what she didn't get is that
I noticed when I didn't do the right thing ...

I think common morals and values trump interests ... I can always find
a shady spot to read while someone fishes ... or stomp over the hills in
my snow shoes while he skiis!
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 55
Common Interests
Posted: 4/27/2013 1:58:50 PM

I think common morals and values trump interests ... I can always find
a shady spot to read while someone fishes ... or stomp over the hills in
my snow shoes while he skiis!


I totally agree. And being a photographer makes the journey into someone else's interests fun and even more interesting. :-)
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 56
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/27/2013 3:33:02 PM

And being a photographer makes the journey into someone else's interests fun and even more interesting.

I agree with this, though I don't call myself a photographer, I am a person who enjoys taking photos.

Moral, character, integrity, honesty, humor etc. we have to be a match. But I will also say I don't want a full time couch potatoe.
 lightninbug22
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 57
Common Interests
Posted: 4/27/2013 8:32:10 PM
Blue Eyes, if you enjoy taking pictures, I am sure that you can enjoy shooting stuff in various environments, and you know exactly what I am talking about. Me, I take stock photos professionally, am always looking for new material. It is so fun to explore new things.
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 58
Common Interests
Posted: 4/28/2013 4:53:30 PM
Im in my 40s. I always tell guys after a few dates. I was told by a friend that i need more mature interests. Wtf does that mean?!?
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 59
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Common Interests
Posted: 4/29/2013 5:01:46 PM
^^^^It means GET YOUR LITTLE ASS OFF THAT ROCK......are you crazy? LOL
 wcratz2012
Joined: 4/25/2012
Msg: 60
Common Interests
Posted: 4/29/2013 5:28:00 PM
Common interest are good and do help the relationship.
However you do not need to have tons of them in common.
Also depends on the people and what the interest are.

Lots of factors.....
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 61
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Common Interests
Posted: 5/6/2013 9:53:51 PM
I think like most things we discuss here, it depends on the people involved. I've known couples who did everything together and they were very happy.
I read the interests . I sometimes notice that hey, it looks like I have alot in common with this guy. sometimes not so much. and sometimes there are interests listed and my mind goes hell-no.
But I really don't place that much importance on them- except for the hell-no ones. Because all they are is a list. The person could still end up being an addlepated twit or a fire breathing shrew or a tremendously hungry zombie. Yes, it can show you if they are active or sedentary (if they are truthful) But you can have tons of common interests and still not click.
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 62
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Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 9:13:57 AM
LOL! This thread reminds me of years ago (about 20) being in the marriage councilors office....when he looks directly at ME....and tells me that *I* have to be more willing to embrace some of my husbands interests!!! So, I ran down the list for him:

My hubby rode motorcycles.....so I bought a motorcycle and we went riding every weekend.

Hubby wanted to go camping. so we got tents and all the gear and went camping. After 2 summers, I enjoyed it so much that I bought a camper so we could go anytime we wanted and not have to spend so much time preparing....which had limited how often we could go. After year 5, he ordered a phone line so he could take his laptop....and I was planting flowers and vegetables.

Hubby wanted to go fishing.....so, I learned to fish.

Hubby frequently took his widowed Mother to play Bingo....so I spent many winter weekend nights at various Bingo Halls.
(the list does go on....and on)

Now.....MY requests: Dance with me. He complied by going out with me...sitting at a table bored, but requesting that other men should ask his wife to dance.

Walk with me. His feet always hurt. Never mind the fact that BOTH of us spent all day on our feet at work. He did however occasionally lay towel by the pool for when I came back from my walk.

Let's learn woodworking together. His reply...."I'm an auto mechanic....I don't do wood".

Ride this roller coaster with me. He offered to find a shady place to sit and hold my purse while I rode.

There are some things that some people simply aren't going to do....like skydiving. There is no way in he11 that I would jump out of a perfectly good airplane....so I can totally appreciate it if someone doesn't share my passion for roller coasters....BUT, when the list of common interests dwindles down to where ONLY the interests of one person are being engaged it...then it DOES become problem.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 63
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Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 9:44:07 AM

Now.....MY requests: Dance with me. He complied by going out with me...sitting at a table bored, but requesting that other men should ask his wife to dance.


I am sorry sweetie but you know me....all I could think of when I read your post was that you should have asked him for sex! lmao...I know, I know, my bad! *hugs*
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 64
Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 10:38:08 AM





There is no way in he11 that I would jump out of a perfectly good airplane....so I can totally appreciate it if someone doesn't share my passion for roller coasters....


There is nothing wrong with jumping out of a perfectly good airplane.... that is, unless you forget the parachute (in which case you're in for a lot of parachite)... I like roller coasters but, I certainly wouldn't jump out of any of them :-)... It's important to carefully choose what one jumps (from, that is).



all I could think of when I read your post was that you should have asked him for sex! lmao...I know, I know, my bad! *hugs*


I like the way this woman thinks :-) That's a good woman, one that knows how to turn her "my bad" side into something good :-)

.......................................................................................................................................................................

OT:

It's good to have some common interests but. the differences are often what makes one person interesting to another.

 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 65
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Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 12:11:41 PM

I am sorry sweetie but you know me....all I could think of when I read your post was that you should have asked him for sex! lmao...I know, I know, my bad! *hugs*


LOL! No need to be sorry Moon, you know I always luvs ya!!!! BUT...go back to some of my posts from years ago and you'll see that HE eliminated SEX from the equation pretty early on in the marriage. LOL! I was TRYING NOT to be my usual bold self and tell THAT particular story again! .....Particularly since....on here....women who leave men who can't perform sexually are just sluts LOL!
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 2/24/2012
Msg: 66
Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 6:04:38 PM
Funny, I'd never noticed there was a number in parens on the Matches page. Guess the reason I never noticed is because none of my so called Matches has a single interest in common. Weird that because some of my interests are predominantly male participants.

I want to have some interests in common so we have some things to do together. I knew my marriage was in trouble when we no longer wanted to do anything together.

That is not to say I want to do everything together. I like my alone time and would go nuts with someone who wanted to be joined at the hip.

As far as the Interests section - the interests listed have never been a deciding factor for who I contact but have been a deciding factor for who I would never be interested in not matter what else in their profile is attractive.
 m8t
Joined: 3/14/2013
Msg: 67
Common Interests
Posted: 5/16/2013 7:47:13 PM
I think some common interests are important, but I embrace diversity as well.
Theres always room for jello, and trying new things.
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 68
Common Interests
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:03:46 PM
What if you enjoy doing something with an ex-partner but don't seem to like doing the same thing with a new-partner. Why does that happen?
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 69
Common Interests
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:05:45 PM
My brother is super hot at 50 (and looks 35), and his wife of 25 years is gosh awful ugly and they don't really have anything in common except for love for their children. Maybe stuff in common isn't that important.
 L,A, Woman
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 70
Common Interests
Posted: 6/6/2013 6:22:32 AM
This issue sometimes cracks me up. I look for commonalities in hobbies and interests. Some guys list so many sports you think, well, when do you have time to date. I dated a complete sports nut once and only once because that is exactly the case. He was so busy playing youngster that he had no time to breathe let alone find time to date. I think some just write them and don't actually ever do their interest. Something they would like to do. So, that being said, I stopped writing so many and put the ones that I really like and actually do. Keep it real people, keep it real. My advice to someone that is attracted to someone with multiple interests ask if they have time to date.
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