Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Confused      Home login  
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 23
view profile
ConfusedPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Ah! I see, I think. You aren't worried that you are being left behind, you are worried that he's clinging on after things are really over.

Best thing to do, is ask him straight out as soon as you have the opportunity. If he's in delusion land, a cold-water-in-the-face question is just what he needs.
Joined: 11/30/2012
Msg: 24
view profile
Posted: 4/21/2013 9:28:13 AM
Yes Igor thank you . You are a wise man . I enjoy reading your posts on here for a long time.
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 25
view profile
Posted: 4/21/2013 4:23:52 PM
I don't think asking him flat out will work. If he is trying to keep you on the back burner or has some other motive, he is likely to deny it and say that he was just being friendly. If it is a friendly gesture, it is kind of disheartening to be told that you feel that he is being disingenuous. If you feel awkward because of the gifts, then let him know that. But I would not ask a motive unless there is a good reason to do it.

I say just act like it was a nice and friendly gift from someone with whom you are on cordial terms. No need to push the subject. If it is just friendly gifts - no harm done. If on the other hand, he has some other motive, when he tries to pursue that objective, you can deal with it then. You do not want him back as he was too critical. So you are in control. You just make sure your actions remain the same - cordial, appreciative of the nice gesture.
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 26
Posted: 4/21/2013 4:35:55 PM
Stop accepting the gifts, case closed! lol
Move on.
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 27
view profile
Posted: 4/22/2013 5:45:22 PM
funnygirl_13 wrote:

It means you were in a relationship for a long time and the person sends you things and does not call you much anymore. You are on friendly terms. You do speak to each other from time to time.

I'm glad I could help.

LMAO!!! Thanx, I needed a good laugh.
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 28
view profile
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:17:10 PM
Beats me. I am in a sort of relationship with someone, on friendly terms and now he never calls. Probably wasn't really interested in the first place. However, I am a novice to pof, so don't take my word for it.
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 29
Posted: 4/22/2013 6:22:21 PM
After reading this thread, I right along with the OP am confused too.

OP....cut your losses and move on.

Tell this idiot to quit sending you crap and talking to you.

HE has moved on but you haven't.

You are 52 years old.....and you needed all of us on here to tell you that??? Really??????
Joined: 12/30/2012
Msg: 30
Posted: 4/23/2013 3:46:32 PM
Like many other posters have stated forget it and move on. You stopped seeing him for a good reason. Why take your time and effort to try and figure him out. Don't allow them to fill space in your head if their not paying the rent. Good luck and best wishes.
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 31
view profile
Posted: 4/27/2013 12:43:33 AM
Hi Op,
what kinds of things is he giving you besides movies? Can you tell us what the gifts are? This will help us get a better idea of the situation.
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 32
Posted: 4/27/2013 5:32:11 AM
+1 for Walts. You know he is too critical--so why on earth are you looking for validation of your secret hope he will have changed and is trying to get you back b/c he loves you and only you?

If you had a 6 year relationship, you know him better than any of us. He hasn't changed--you just wish he had. He may or may not be trying to stay in your good graces as his "plan B." Maybe he is too critical as a bf but decent enough to send you small things when he thinks of you. It's not impossible.

But, really, you should be moving on and not caring what a "too critical" ex is doing. Sounds like you are having trouble moving on.
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 33
Posted: 4/27/2013 6:15:20 AM
Here's the iffy stuff that comes along with staying friends after a break up. 99.9% of the time one stayed friends only because they still hold a flame for their ex & that seems to be you. Never works to stay friends in the hope they see how wonderful you truly are & want to reconcile. Move on. Not good for you that it interferes with your life or way of thinking & are reading into his friendly gestures as having meaning.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Confused