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 lostnfoundluv
Joined: 1/10/2009
Msg: 22
Advice for a pick me upPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
The good news is at very tender age you learned this lesson . now with your maturity atleast you will pick a compatible partner and chances are it will be more successful than when both clueless people keep getting into incompatible relationships and then wonder why it keep ending . so cheer up and dont let the hope ever die .
 tooborednow
Joined: 1/13/2013
Msg: 23
Advice for a pick me up
Posted: 4/24/2013 10:20:54 PM

How do you fix it when you have given up.

Depends on what you mean by giving up.
There is actual giving up, when you have actually decided to give up, where no other option is even considered anymore, because no other option is possible.

Like wandering in the desert for 5 days with no water and just sitting down to die.

Then there's the giving up where you (general you, not necessarily you specifically) just run around whining "I give up" when what you really mean is "I pretended to try, but it wasn't easy, so now I'm a victim and I feel entitled to just sitting back and waiting for people to tell me what to do, take responsibility for what I want, lead me by the hand to choose what I want, and just hand it to me."

Like being a spoiled brat in little league, where your coach says you have an attitude problem, you don't show up to practice, just to games where you don't really try you just sit in the outfield making farting noises, you don't hustle, you don't throw the ball so much as push it with a limp wrist while sighing annoyed, and then complain about never getting to bat or catch a ball or having any fun, and when your parents tell you that you need to try harder you complain about the coach being mean and having something personal against you and that you did try by just showing up, then when they tell you it's going to take hard work you berate yourself by calling yourself stupid and retarded to get your parents to then coddle you.

For the first one, there really isn't any fixing.
For the second one it's the cliche "grow the f up and take responsibility for yourself."


how do you will yourself to give another person a chance and if it does end bad, do you just give up totally??

By realizing you aren't the center of the universe to bequeath chances for those that pass your expectations.
They are "giving" you a chance just as much as you are "giving" them a chance, so they neutralize themselves.


No stupid answers please

The only stupid answers are to stupid questions.


im a proud person and dont like to admit publicaly that i cannot get into a relationship for whatever reason so looking for constructive answers. Im done with seeing the bad in the world.

This is hysterical. You seem to be done with seeing bad in the world by wanting to stick your head in the sand and requiring people to hide it for you before you pull your head out and take a look.


Wonder if this post will prove me right

So you're saying you are already biased towards an answer which means you aren't looking for advice, you are looking for validation therefore Stuart Smalley.
"There there, it's okay, you're smart enough, pretty enough, and dog gone it people like you. Don't worry, the right one will come along someday. There there, it'll all be okay.
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 24
Advice for a pick me up
Posted: 4/24/2013 11:11:19 PM
If you need to "will" yourself to give another person a chance, it's the wrong person. If you want to just give up totally, you're depressed - perhaps clinically. It's not a bad thing, just not something you want to keep going and you should consult with a physician.

Guys over 40 aren't old for your age group. Guys over 40 are old for girls in their early 20s. I've dated between 27-38 and they still have a lot to deal with (career, etc.). Guys around 40-46 and in ridiculously good shape (the ones with 8 packs and look like they're 30) are usually more fun and in better shape career-wise, emotionally and mentally. They have their own flaws too though - they're usually less trusting and more protective of their huevos than younger guys. The key to relationships - no matter what, HAVE FUN. When you're done smiling and you notice that you're frowning or crying instead, talk to the other person or walk the f*ck away. Walking away gives you a sense of empowerment too - try it during a bad relationship.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 25
Advice for a pick me up
Posted: 4/25/2013 2:46:53 PM
Take a break. Look at yourself. Dust yourself off. Learn from past mistakes. Then try again.

Most important wait until you can let go of the past and are open to give another person an honest shot.

I am almost 50. I can't even count how many times I have felt the same way.

Don't give up hope. So far the sun always rises. Tomorrow is a new day.
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 26
Advice for a pick me up
Posted: 4/28/2013 6:31:59 PM

You meet someone nice but cant do it as you know it will just end the same way
Sounds like you are sabotaging. Don't know what you are doing but you should try to figure that out. Something in your personality or past. It doesn't always have to end the same way. If you do the right things it won't end the same way. Change your thinking and behavoior. One way is to change the places you spend time in. Surroundings reinforce and perpetuate behaviour. You don't have to move to another town, just change the locations you use. Find a new route or means of transportation to get to work. Buy your groceries at a different supermarket. If you eat out change where you eat, at least most of the time. Good luck.

Oh, and give up smoking.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 28
Advice for a pick me up
Posted: 4/28/2013 7:39:56 PM
If you think you can't, you won't.

So, think you can, and you will.

Or at the very least, you'll try. And there is not a thing wrong with trying.

And yes, get rid of those photos. Unless you are "trying" to attract the BOYS!!!!!!
 ochikergirl
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 29
Advice for a pick me up
Posted: 4/28/2013 9:00:36 PM
Yah, and I forgot to mention -- that's a ridiculous outfit if you're trying to find a meaningful relationship with someone mature. Plus the Britney Spears look is kinda -- well, you know. Hit me baby, one more time! lol
 zzumbagirl
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 30
Advice for a pick me up
Posted: 4/28/2013 9:43:25 PM
Am wondering why you call yourself 'Not for sale' & chose that you don't want anything serious. Most your pictures are suggesting you in fact don't want anything serious.....Not to be mean, but do you really know what you want? Don't mean to be a b I t c h but kinda looks like you actually might b 4 sale.....
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