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 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 26
Why would she keep her profile?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I would keep mine on with "Forum only". Your girlfriend is right in that if it's hidden, only the one she contacted would see her profile and since they contacted her already, they might have her phone number. She was honest with you, give her that benefit. Nothing is permanent these days so to be off of pof, there got to be a ring. lol Even then, the forums is sooo good that one might have an agreement to stay on if their partners are ok. It's a trust issue, do you both trust each other?
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 27
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 5/1/2013 11:26:35 PM
She keeps it but hides it because while you have been together for 2 months that doesn't mean forever. If you do break up she doesnt want to have to start from scratch again.
 Vesta_ceres
Joined: 4/5/2013
Msg: 28
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 5/2/2013 2:39:39 AM
My profile is not hidden and I'm not looking to date anybody, at this time. A man who's interested in me asked me that if I considered dating him, would I also consider rescinding my PoF participation, to which I replied NO. Why? I enjoy the forums.

Eventually, I will tire of them and disappear. :)
 jan1025
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 29
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 5/2/2013 5:56:08 AM
There can be many reasons why she is keeping her profile up, but I would tell you that if it was me, it's because I like forums, but I wouldn't want you to see what I was posting, because that is my little world, and the world I only share with the forum.

So, If I were you I would ignore it, and start paying more attention to her (if you don't).

If you confront her, you'll appear controlling and jealous.

If she is doing it to meet men behind your back then she's a cheater, so I guess you will have to wait and see what she does with her little secret.

Be watchful, that is the only advise I can offer at this time.
Jan
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 30
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 5/2/2013 6:56:08 AM

Out of curiosity, I have a question. If you met someone of the opposite sex on POF and were in a relationship going on 2 months old monogamous relationship, what reasons could you give for why your mate would hide their profile instead of deleting it? Keep in mind that you have deleted yours, but they hide theirs.


I would guess that she’s keeping her profile in case it doesn’t work out. I wouldn’t worry about such things for the first 6 months of a relationship. People don't really begin to get to know each other until they have spent 6-12 months in an exclusive relationship and she’s keeping your agreement to be monogamous.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 31
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 5/2/2013 7:07:44 AM

what reasons could you give for why your mate would hide their profile instead of deleting it?


1. Keeping their options open, maybe not certain or maybe even a bit faceshy.
2. Continuing gratification that people out there may still be matched with them
3. Curiosity at what their matches might be
4. People shopping
5. Identification with other daters (IE the feeling they arent alone)
6. Continued communication with friends ( not date prospects, just folks they share a little with)
7. FORUMS! :)
 dinno76
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 32
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/27/2014 5:26:17 PM
In case it don't work . She has your replacement ready.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 33
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/27/2014 10:13:36 PM
It has only been two months so why wouldn't she keep the profile up but hidden. It is her business. That you deleted yours is up to you. I don't imagine she pressured you into doing that? WHy don't you ask her why, instead of strangers on a forum who know neither of you.
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 34
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/30/2014 12:05:58 PM
If I was in a relationship and the woman I was involved with wanted to interact on a dating site in any fashion , be it forums /profiles/etc , I would end the relationship . She can pick one of those other men because I do not need some one that insecure around me . They just have to have the ego boosting attention (that is a nice way of putting it ) . I also think that would be a symptom for narcissistic personality disorder ( a lot of the profiles I look at are loaded with it ) .
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 35
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/30/2014 2:15:50 PM
One might wonder who is insecure, but to each his own. The fact remains, no one who wants something that is a deal breaking for you is worth dating, so no harm/no foul, just move on instead of lashing out like somehow you were damaged when someone didn't work out for you.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 36
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/30/2014 3:40:24 PM

why your mate would hide their profile instead of deleting it?.


Did you both agree to delete it? Or did you just delete it an expect something to happen? If her profile is hidden then its the same deal. Hidden means it can't be sought out by any means. So probably keeping it in the anticipation that failure is probable... which is smart.

Unless you like making new profiles
 Sashas__Eyes
Joined: 6/15/2014
Msg: 37
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/30/2014 4:26:14 PM
So she doesn't have to create a new profile if your relationship don't work out.

If it's hidden what is the problem unless she told you that she had deleted it and didn't?

Is she still talking to people here?
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 38
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/30/2014 4:39:16 PM
Msg 35 " Obviously your criteria for friendship is much lower than mine is . If I have not actually met some one face to face , they are just an acquaintance , nothing more . If a woman needs male friends then she can pick her s/o from one of those men , the men she deems B team and friend zones . There is no reason for some one in a relationship to be on a dating site for singles , other than attention seeking or to cheat . But then relationships are fast becoming a thing of the past . You talking about being secure , that has nothing to do with it , it is just a matter of principle . Women want men but not really , they want something that looks like a man but acts like a pet dog . Those are the ones you friend zoned , pick one of them .
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 39
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/30/2014 6:10:09 PM
UGH.. 2 months is TOO soon to worry about this.. To me.. this is still in the "getting to know each other" zone.

I mean.. really.. you ready to buy that cow yet?..

My relationships start slow.. I really do not care about monogamy until I start sleeping with them.. and then.. its a month or two after THAT .. that i start trying to close up the loose ends.

My last "BF" was on actively here till we hit 4 months.. then i made it clear it was unacceptable.. THEN I showed him how to hide his profile. hidden is good enough for me Till at least 6 months.. or the time i start feeling that "love bug"..

Seriously.. until you feel its solid.. why delete anything?

But sadly.. One week after he hid it.. we had a falling out.. and he was back on.. BAM like a vengence.. haha..

and edit.. I changed mine to forum and friends at 2 months.. then re-edited it back when he was still ON at 4 months..
I would QUIT the forums.. and all if I felt it was a sure LTR
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 40
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/31/2014 8:04:49 AM
Msg 41 " Has nothing to do with insecurity or control ( nice victim cards by the way ) , it is just a matter of principle . Myself I am strictly a one woman man , unfortunate I have not been able to find a one man woman . I find it very amusing this entitlement mentality many women seem to continue to exhibit . Last woman I was involved with was the first time I noticed such issues .
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 41
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/31/2014 8:21:27 AM
I've kept a profile on here through 2 LTR's and several STR's, hidden but NOT deleted....
That's the reason that my 'joined date' is in 2007....

No 'ulterior motives' and no, I wasn't in here 'for the forums' and continued those friendships elsewhere....

I didn't delete my profile because frankly, I had hidden it and DIDN'T even come on here, believe it or NOT for the ENTIRE TIME that I was involved with those relationships...and frankly, forgot all about it!!!
None of them even ASKED me to do so, which I have to assume is because they would have to believe that I was a MAGICIAN in order to spend as much time with THEM as I was, AND ALSO have 'some' on the side...LMAO

As it turns out, I'm both practical AND lazy....

If it doesn't work out, the relationship, I can just reactivate my profile, throw up some new photos and start all over again....without having to write an entire new profile....

Simple...and has ZERO to do with being " a one-man woman"....
 Demidar
Joined: 10/22/2014
Msg: 42
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 12/31/2014 4:34:21 PM
There is no reason to maintain a profile if in a relationship , the fact that you did (just in case your relationship failed) , shows you basically planned for failure from the start . People who have an exit strategy , have already lost , not very practical . Unless you had chosen to fail already .
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 43
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/1/2015 12:20:28 AM
Exit strategy???
seriously.. if one is "ready to buy the cow" at 2 months.. they are addled in the brain.

I was married for 13 (bad years).. I refuse to believe that its "forever an ever" at that point.

IF i fall in love.. i forget to log into the internet.. Period..

Had a man once that blew my barn doors off.. totally stopped coming here. Too bad .. because he was On here searching the whole time!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 44
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/1/2015 12:42:10 AM
In case you haven't noticed, the OP is long gone and this thread originated on 5/1/2013. You can thank the dude that resurrected this dead thread. He seems to have a habit of doing this.
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 45
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/1/2015 5:29:12 AM
Most likely the insecurity of the relationship....kinda early but as adults if you have questions...ask....see a ton of players on this sight soooo...not much surprises me....lol...good luck!
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 46
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/1/2015 8:39:18 PM

If you met someone of the opposite sex on POF and were in a relationship going on 2 months old monogamous relationship, what reasons could you give for why your mate would hide their profile instead of deleting it?

Assuming they don't ever post in the forums or are thinking of ever posting in the forums -- here's a reason: She's not treating it as a "2 month old Relationship", but "a new guy I've been seeing".

Her mentality can easily be: "I like browsing POF profiles for fun... I show friends about it as I met a guy I like who I'm now seeing. If I delete the profile, I'd have to write it ALL over again. We aren't in a Relationship (yet?), we're just dating. He seems great, but totally deleting it where I can't even show friends what POF's about? I hid my profile -- does he not trust me?"

Why didn't you just ask her? :) If she basically responded with the same argument I did right there -- I would ask her that if she Has to Hold Onto the account, it'll make things a little uncomfortable, like you're trying to keep your options open. I mean, if you wanted to give me your login & pass or something, great -- but I don't want to do that. I would say after about a month at least, one would put themselves off the market. Sure, hiding it's that. But after another month? I think there's no real need for it to show friends, etc.

I think it would be more a concern of her taking things as "dating", and you taking it as "boyfriend/girlfriend".
 nancycovey
Joined: 2/23/2015
Msg: 47
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/2/2016 5:37:55 PM
it allows her to have a relationship and keep it open wth so called friends, back ups
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/2/2016 10:28:53 PM
This thread was resurrected after exactly 1 year to the day after msg.51!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 49
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Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/3/2016 12:09:07 AM
In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.


I know, I know, I know!


Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.


I know, I know, I know!



I had a brain fart. I meant msg.50...
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 50
Why would she keep her profile?
Posted: 1/5/2016 6:52:37 AM
I know the OP is gone. But if a person is looking to cheat, they can find a way. Maybe she deletes her profile and creates a new profile with a different name. Or she joins another OLD site. Or she finds someone at a bar or some other social establishment.
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