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 HelenBackAgain
Joined: 1/7/2013
Msg: 336
Message RestrictionsPage 12 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
Work Around - Trade off site emails - most if not all people have more than one e-mail address for various levels of security - share one of those if you've developed a forum relationship.

If we're more than fourteen years apart, we can't trade off-site e-mail addresses because we can't write to each other on-site to do so.

There is no work-around.

ETA: Including off-site e-mail addresses in profiles is not allowed, nor is it likely to be anything most will want to do even with a tertiary account anyway. Ditto forum posting.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 338
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/21/2013 10:15:00 PM
If we're more than fourteen years apart, we can't trade off-site e-mail addresses because we can't write to each other on-site to do so.

There is no work-around.


What about including an e-mail address just for this purpose in the body of your profile? For example, you could use *username* at the y site dot com



This would be a violation of the users term of agreement


 first_st_blues
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 339
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/21/2013 10:15:56 PM
that would be like putting your email on a interstate billboard for everyone to see....
 Tominsandiego
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 340
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/21/2013 10:17:13 PM
I dislike Markus's sudden changes, and I'm very upset that he gave us no notice. He was incredibly lame for removing the link to Forums from profiles. I had a number of nice conversations with women of a variety ages that were brought to a sudden halt by "The Creator".

Will these changes make POF classier? I doubt it. On POF these days, some girls & women show their tongues on their profile photos. Is that sexual teasing? I wonder... Classy, it is not.
 yeahrght12345
Joined: 4/6/2013
Msg: 342
Message Restrictions : EMails , responsibility & Age Discrimination
Posted: 5/22/2013 12:03:36 AM
DATE WHO YOU'RE TOLD TO!
-Plentyoffish
 Silk40dd
Joined: 5/9/2013
Msg: 344
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 1:20:33 AM
agree its a terrible choice on his part, and he does need to own up and accept that his choice is not going to do any good for anyone on this site whether they are younger or older or middle aged.
People on here are adults. Marcus apparently feels that there is no reason for anyone to contact others outside his preferred age range but yet neglects to accept that should be the choice of those who paid or are using his site and entrusted his services when they joined it. His argument is if I read it in this thread was that older men contacting younger girls was offensive, turning them off of the dating scene and in short its for them that he put this restriction or is it simply his own prejudice because he would not date someone older or younger than his range restriction?
Well... If the ladies of 20 something on this site can't except that out there in the real world there are going to be creeps who will bother them then they need not be on an adult site and should be accompanied by their parents until they are able to learn to do so!
No offence to any younger ladies as I personally know some gals in their 20s who know how to fend off creeps they don't like whether that creep is the SAME age as they are or happens to be older!!.

This site is an adult site.
Marcus! Yes you created it but please let us as adults decide who we want to talk to and who we don't want to talk to and teach the importance of the filters to anyone who complains. As legal adults it is our responsibility to inform you of any offensive or illegal communications and it is important for all no matter their age to learn both online and in the real world how to protect themselves from harm and who to choose to allow within their lives.
A owner of a site has given us his word we would be joining to freely try to find our soul mate and if that person is same age or in the same age range fine but if it happens that there is an age difference as adults we entrusted you to allow us to find that person who we as a legal adult we feel suits our mold in life. I did not know we would be eventually monitored or screen when it comes to what we say to another adult in a private email as I though filters were there to protect from any public offense and yet apparently soon our emails will also be monitored? Are we children or adults who paid or joined your site? Or are you going to treat others who you feel is outside of your perception of appropriate as you are doing without a care as to whether your offending them? This in itself is not at all something I feel is going to benefit your site, nor is it going to benefit any girl on here or man who must learn to take care of themselves both online and in the world. Please remove the filter and let us use your site as a dating site to which we joined and not a site where the moderators or owner will decide who can say what privately or who can talk to who? If not I can see this going much further in time than just complaints as this is not a site made for only younger people and is supposed to be for all to use and decide who they feel is their mate in life, not you or anyone else and if that is how online dating sites will end up I doubt they will survive as no one wants others to decide for them what is appropriate or not. Teach the users on your site to use FILTERS they choose!! If they don't and they complain after the fact then perhaps see if they are actually legal aged adults!
 Redstar2613
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 345
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 3:59:12 AM
I believe I understand the intent behind these rules. I get that he had a vision for this site and now he feels it's being ruined. But he just took things too far.

The rule about being deleted, without warning, just for mentioning something sexual in the first message is sort of understandable, as this is a dating site. But to have someones profile deleted without any warning is stupid and unfair. Especially since the site has allowed that very thing for years.
It's even worse that it was in effect for a month before we got the message, so people would have been deleted for doing the very thing they had been doing for weeks, months or even years. And as others have pointed out, everyone is free to change the age of people able to contact them but if it really doesn't work on mobiles, there would be another, much better and more mature way to solve the issue, like, I don't know... find out why it wont work and fix it, or create another way of doing it. Or just make sure people are made aware of the ability to do it on a computer, most people have one or at least have access to one. Or at very least a warning. A proper one.

The age restriction, again, I can understand the reason behind it but as people have already pointed out, that is discrimination. I don't want to date someone outside of that range but it's not going to be the same for a 70 year old. You're telling people they can't choose who they date. Just because you think it's always about dirty men, doesn't make it so. I have a friend that prefers older women, so I guarantee he'll be annoyed by this.

No intimate encounters. Some people are actually ok with having sex on a first date, it doesn't necessarily mean they're just out for a one night stand or one's a man pretending to be a woman.
 Rocketshipsarego
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 348
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 5:51:27 AM
Not everyone here is looking for hookups
 lilsweetiehazfun
Joined: 12/28/2011
Msg: 349
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 6:11:14 AM
While i can appreceiate the new age restriction guidline i will say that it would make me seriouslyn consider just deleting my account. I had met someone quite a few years younger last year and can proudly say we really had a great year ling relationship. We really adored each other. For reasons not related to age we are no longer together.
Now, I am not and have never been a cougar nor do i specifically look for someone 20yrs younger than me but it just fit very well in so many ways. It was totally unexpected and we both thought "sure have some fun, go out, enjoy ourselves a few times but we both were extremely surprised.
 Rocketshipsarego
Joined: 5/30/2012
Msg: 350
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 7:03:09 AM
It's like limiting how old the person you are with is
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 351
view profile
History
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 7:12:42 AM
My experience has been that the vast majority of people on POF have profiles on the other 50 dating sites on the net, so...if Markus doesn't want you chatting up
people outside his view of appropriate age limits, simply go to almost any other site and connect there.......

Its actually pretty interesting to compare the profiles of one person of several sites. The differences are quite revealing.......:)

Even on POF, many appear to have multiple profiles with widely varying ages, interests and goals. Site admins can delude themselves that their policies are
effective, and some may be, however, the published statistics on the data on social media sites show that truth is not a big factor in what people put in profiles.

You all should also pay attention to the fact that while POF, and other sites, post the number of new additions, you never see any stats on the number of closed
accounts or the number of accounts that have been dead for several years.....Its all smoke and mirrors.....
 wildrosesmyl
Joined: 3/19/2013
Msg: 352
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 8:28:36 AM
Dear Markus,

There was a 19 year old kid that was SUICIDAL that I have been coaching to receive support and counselling (I live in Northern Canada with little to no mental health services) over the last several of months.

Now neither he nor I can contact each other due to your HUMAN RIGHTS violation under BC law. If he has killed himself, it is on your head. As a person of conscious, I now have to set up a fake account in order to establish contact with him and give h
Im my PERSONAL information so that he still has a resource, hopefully, if he is still alive.




Btw, you've crossed a group of BC lawyers. Legal action is being discussed and will be filed.



Forgive me for being so blunt, but this is an example of what the site was not intended for.

This site was set up to be a dating site.
Anything outside that scope is not what the owner desires and what the owner has opted to provide to us (note: for free too).

So although I admire you trying to assist someone, we each have to be held accountable for our own actions and to attempt to shift blame to Markus is in my opinion very inappropriate and unacceptable.


 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 353
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 8:38:41 AM
Quite honestly while I really have no interest in dating someone +/- 14yrs from me, I don't appreciate someone else thinking they should make that decision *for* me. I'm really only here for the forums anymore anyways, so I don't have any age restrictions up - and have gotten emails from people >14yrs from me wanting to talk, commenting on a forum post I made, etc - now that option is being taken away from people.

While Markus might think "nobody" is going to date 14yrs outside their age, some people do... and shouldn't that be *THEIR CHOICE* (as it was anyways for them to put age restrictions on their profile if they wanted) rather than the choice of the "Nanny admin"?
 midable
Joined: 5/19/2013
Msg: 354
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 8:53:09 AM
The age restrictions will make this site more women friendly and phone freindly for dating.

However, this and the missing forum link will kill this place as a community site. This is a shame... POF was one of a kind, and unique.... now it will be just another "me too", cookie-cutter dating site like most.

That said, it is the best dating site right now, by far. The question is, how long will it hold the top position?
 rainbowcolors
Joined: 8/19/2011
Msg: 355
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 8:57:34 AM
But it seems to me that all this will lead to is even more guys lying about their ages. . . .
This!

I have had a few men message me this week who were clearly not in their thirties as their profiles stated. They looked 10+ years older and I called them on it. One guy admitted he was ten years older and politely asked how I knew. One man whom I met last week who said he was 37 looked 44/45. During the middle of our date I asked him, "So, how old are you?" He asked me to guess and I was bang on right!

This restriction is going to cause a lot of misleading profiles and a lot of disappointment when two people meet in person. We already had the option of restricting ages, so why are we being forced? I have no problem with much younger men messaging me and never have. After all, they're wrinkle free, toned, and some are verrry cute! Of course the same could be said of much younger women too.


You will date who POF tells you. Although I'm currently chatting to a guy just outside that age range who got round this silly censorship by setting up another profile with a different age, explaining it on the profile and then hiding it.
Wow! That was creative. It didn't occur to me that people would go to such lengths, so does this mean lots of member will have one real profile and one fake one? If so, the amount of ' members' will almost double.
 rockstar1118nj
Joined: 3/28/2013
Msg: 358
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 9:39:45 AM
OK, about the moderator reply to wildrosesmyl's post....

Yeah, that's an example of what the site was not intended for, but how about in your words, you explain exactly what it's intended for? Is an online relationship any less meaningful than one offline?

Marcus is pushing this idea to force people into only coming here to date... That pressure kills potential relationships. Let us talk to each other, let us actually build some form of relationship between each other, and then make the decision on whether or not we want to date.

Why not poll the people in these forums, see how many have dated someone that they only started as friends with.

It's designed to be a dating site, but to that kid she was talking to, that could have been the closest thing to dating that he was comfortable with. It's not up to Marcus to define what dating should be, that's up to the two people involved, and nobody else.

Not just that, what about the younger people who are legitimately only attracted to older people, and dont give a shit about what money they make, and are looking for way more than a quick lay? How can anyone really justify punishing these people because of their preference? You're attracted to what you're attracted to. If someone young can't truly be interested in someone older, then lets go ahead and say that gay people are just pretending, since that's also something that's not as common as a guy and girl who are maybe 2-3 years apart in age dating.

Whatever happens as a result of Marcus's decision that some people are too old to message other people, it's all on him. HE is the one who is forcing this idea onto everyone. We're all adults, we're allowed to talk to whoever we want, and as a site, we refuse to let someone else tell us who we're attracted to. Friends never have to meet in person, that's been an option on this site though, to look for friends.

If he wants the site to be centered purely around romantically dating, then how about instead of all these restrictions, give us the tools to actually find other people. The numbers game of "will this girl that I'm interested in actually message me back" accomplishes the exact opposite. These sites were originally designed to make money off of the desperate while keeping them perpetually single (ever notice how the profile is literally every single thing you'd talk about on your first date?). If he wants a site centered around dating, then he needs to redesign what dating site is. Restricting us is only going to make people mad, and lead to more abuse, or less people.
 midable
Joined: 5/19/2013
Msg: 359
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 9:45:26 AM
Moderator said

Forgive me for being so blunt, but this is an example of what the site was not intended for.

This site was set up to be a dating site.
Anything outside that scope is not what the owner desires and what the owner has opted to provide to us (note: for free too).

So although I admire you trying to assist someone, we each have to be held accountable for our own actions and to attempt to shift blame to Markus is in my opinion very inappropriate and unacceptable.



- With all due respect sir, that's not correct. It would be more accurate to call it a dating/community site, as evidenced by the forum (now basically defunct due to not being linked to most pages). There is no need for a forum on a purely personals site.

Actually, I take that back... the forum was never really here for the users at all... it was advertising for the search engines.... to pull extra traffic from them based on keyword searches... generated by the users... but not for their benefit, only for the benefit of the site... redundant topics were discouraged because they would give no new words and therefore no new food/advertising for the search engines... and to save bandwidth, and leverage resources and money... but not really for the benefit of the user... in other words, the forum is/was a ruse.

That said, business is business. It's all about money. Hey, I'm just telling it like it is (man, I'm going to get banned saying stuff like this, lol).



Not sure why you think that would get you banned.
But lets be clear. POF was never set up to be a 911 hotline/crisis service line.


 CaptainAA
Joined: 6/7/2012
Msg: 361
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 10:07:37 AM
Discrimination is simply that, there is NO difference between race discrimination, age, gender, or religious bias. The ironic thing is we all age, and one day young Marcus will be old wrinkly Marcus, and he will look back on this very immature decision as being exactly that...one a young, not mature person would make, why? WHY you may ask?
Because there IS no fundamental difference between basic types of discrimination, and only a person who has lived half their life or less would be so ignorant to not see this. It's thru life experience we learn tolerance, and young Marcus just hasn't lived long enough to "get it". It's not his fault, he's just a young man, making the kind of mistakes young men often make. The women I know from this site would all tell you it's not about age, it's about health, fitness, attitude, optimism, integrity, a sense of humor, and respect. If Marcus wants to discriminate, those markers would make more sense, don't punish us for aging with dignity. and for those of you who I keep hearing say "if you don't like it leave"...That's what they used to tell black people in the 1960's when they were being discriminated against here in the deep south, they were wrong then, and you folks saying this now are equally out of line. Bottom line: There is no place in todays society for discrimination of any type - and those of you who disagree are bigots, plain and simple!
 LitotesCanada
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 363
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 10:23:34 AM
Well I'm on here for dating and I am seriously miffed. It looks to me like it will only be a matter of time before they're restricting the ethnicity and religion of who I am allowed to date. I mean, it makes about as much sense. :(
 Misguided_Old_Mule
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 365
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 12:25:09 PM

we each have to be held accountable for our own actions and to attempt to shift blame to Markus is in my opinion very inappropriate and unacceptable.
Not only unacceptable but so near to delusional as to be a little bit scary-sounding; and that also applies here
2) Removing IE will just force those to claim to want a relationship only to meet a woman, charm her into bed then run.
3) Removing 'married' as an option will just make those people claim they are single.
Markus you are just forcing people underground, making them lie and manipulate whereas before they had plenty of options to be open and upfront which allowed users to make informed choices.


I'm a long-time POF fan & forum addict; met my husband in the POF forum; and migrated my other forum-friends to the real world a while back.

But as a person of conscience, if Markus does a massive purge of married or other not-looking people from the forum, I can understand and will abide by it.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 366
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 1:21:12 PM
Whatever happens as a result of Marcus's decision that some people are too old to message other people, it's all on him. HE is the one who is forcing this idea onto everyone. We're all adults, we're allowed to talk to whoever we want, and as a site, we refuse to let someone else tell us who we're attracted to. Friends never have to meet in person, that's been an option on this site though, to look for friends.


It's so laughable to see these puerile posts that amount to a temper tantrum over not getting one's way.
You can still talk to whomever you choose. Just go somewhere else if this tool doesn't support it.

There is a proliferation of dating/social websites, now.
PoF has dropped in reputation since I first came here and dated here some 6 + years ago.
The current concentration of fakes, frauds, married and scammers makes the site unappealing for that, IMO.
The reviews are in and they show PoF is not regarded seriously.
http://www.edatereview.com/043822displayreviews.aspx

This is Markus' baby. it must hurt to see it maligned.
I hope it can be cleaned up. A recent PoF event in Colorado was hosted at a Swinger's venue.
Sad how it has gone downhill in the last few years.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/damona-hoffman/top-dating-site-plenty-of_b_3314324.html


One of theses features, Intimate Encounters (IE), was a subset of Plenty of Fish for those explicitly seeking sexual partners without having to shoulder the burden of a relationship.

To make a dating site work, the site must first have viable options for people to date. In the case of Intimate Encounters, Frind said, "There are 3.3 million people who use the site every day, of those there are only 6,041 single women looking for Intimate Encounters. Of those 6,041 women, the ones with hot pictures are mostly men pretending to be women. Intimate Encounters on POF can be summed up as a bunch of horny men talking to a bunch of horny men pretending to be women."

There had been speculation since last fall that this decision was coming after users suddenly noticed that they could no longer search for Intimate Encounters. What frequent IE users might not have realized was that if they searched for four or more Intimate Encounters, they triggered filters that blocked them from messaging members who did not want to hear from IE singles trolling for hook-ups on the site. Those who did know this often created secondary accounts --one for legitimate dates and another for their secret sexploits.

In addition to eliminating Intimate Encounters entirely, they are also only going to allow members to messages singles who are 14 years their senior or junior. The accounts of those who do not comply will be deleted.

While I commend POF for aiming to change their hook-up site perception, I am skeptical that this will shift their identity simply by shutting down the hook-up portion of the site. I don't doubt Frind's altruistic intentions but it goes without saying that many advertisers, which are the bread and butter of their revenue stream, frown upon associating themselves with any shade of legal prostitution. In the meantime, it looks like dirty old men will have to resort to finding their sexual partners the old-fashioned way -- on Craigslist.
 sailslow
Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 367
view profile
History
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 1:39:55 PM

I will not go into specifics about another users account(s) with anyone but that user.

I will say this though, when users do have multiple profiles, POF does in fact show me both of them linked together. If a user has more than 1 profile, ALL profiles will be banned, with the same note stating why. We don't ban merely on suggestion, we ban on evidence.

That being said, you can darn well bet ya if someone posts in a forum that they are going to break the rules, we are going to follow up to see if they followed through.

Markus made it very clear earlier that breaking the rules to get around these filters would be met with action.


SO let me make sure I have this straight. You have banned a woman who opened a second profile in order to contact a suicidal person who was blocked by the age restrictions.

I have saved a copy of this thread...

I hope the kid didn't kill himself. But who cares if Marcus has errors an omissions coverage. It seems Marcus as been involved in come legal action lately. I wonder if his firm will continue the coverage after this.



Without going into user specifics, you can bet that anyone violating the rules will be held accountable.
The rules are clear. 1 profile per user. They are not 1 profile per user unless if you think you really need more.
Also you do understand that a forum ban does not remove profiles, right?
A forum ban is just that.

Mind you, when the system catches up, I would expect multiple profiles of any user to be removed.

 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 368
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 1:50:47 PM
I hope the kid didn't kill himself. But who cares if Marcus has errors an omissions coverage. It seems Marcus as been involved in come legal action lately. I wonder if his firm will continue the coverage after this.


Oh ... as if ... "the woman" is telling the truth, there is a boy, he is 19 and he is suicidal.
She's already shown herself to be a liar by claiming she was banned due to her
post. If her post was so egregious, why wasn't it deleted, along with her profile?

Gawd, people are so gullible.


Does it really matter... Ever deal with suicidal people?

Seems like you haven't.
Wrong. You are just as mal-informed/ delusional as "the rescuer." Do you think a kid who has serious issues is being helped by someone who shows themself in their own post to be emotionally manipulative and shaming?


Regardless, Marcus better be hoping first that she is lying. If she isn't I am certain there are grounds there regardless of the outcome.
Haha! Chatting and dating are a "Basic human right" like food, housing, medical care and education? Maybe you should redeem your voucher for educational benefits. You may find it to be of value.
 rowdy_kester
Joined: 1/18/2013
Msg: 369
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 1:51:12 PM
It would be nice to get around this with a paid subscription, then maybe it would keep the creeps out and allow those of us dating out of this arbitrary age restriction to answer the 5-6 girls I have been communicating with that don't like younger guys for the known reasons.
Also I sometimes chat with newly divorced women, they are having a tough time and enjoy chatting even if we are not going to date.
 sailslow
Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 370
view profile
History
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/22/2013 1:54:07 PM
Does it really matter... Ever deal with suicidal people?

Seems like you haven't.

Regardless, Marcus better be hoping first that she is lying. If she isn't I am certain there are grounds there regardless of the outcome.
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