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 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 398
Message RestrictionsPage 14 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
A mid-30s woman I know and a late 50s man who have been corresponding for over 3 months, hundreds and hundreds of messages, who have dated, and value their relationship so much that they want to talk regularly and about important, very personal matters, have now been arbitrarily cut off.
WHAAAAT? They are DATING, but only communicate through the PoF message board?
Perhaps their keepers can set up another date for them. [orrrrr ... is someone in this scenario married/attached if they can't go to email/ phone contact, hmmmm? ]


There are millions of marriages and long term relationships in couples with big age differences, that are characterized by more love and and healthy practices and values, than millions more other couples whose ages are similar. Ageism and sexism: shame on POF!


Markus never said that relationships consisting of age disparities don't work, he said they are statistically insignificant on his site and encourage the wrong element ... Sugar daddies, cougars/ cougar chasers.

MSG 16: Women who are 18 come to the site to find people to date, they don't come here to find "friends" with men in their 50's. Over all for young women its just a horrible user experience as for some of them over half their messages are from men double their age. This change only effects 1.7% of first contacts between users on the site but it will make a huge difference in terms of female perception of the site.



MSG 64: +/- 14 years of age is now in effect for all ages. I double checked our hundreds of thousands of relationships we track. Turns out outside of +/- 12 years there is virtually no chance of a relationship, and what chance there is is heavilly dependent on the guys high income. Oddly there are more examples of old women dating young men.


The previous model of promoting "quantity" over "quality" has jeopardized continuation of the free nature of this site by alienating advertisers due to an unwholesome image.

If you find the changes unpalatable due to the types of relationships which you are compelled to seek, there are other sites that meet specific needs, and, BTW ... good riddance!
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 399
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Posted: 5/23/2013 3:57:46 AM
I can certainly agree with a lot of what's said about choosing one's own restrictions. I'll stick to less common points:

I've looked carefully at Markus' ONLY letter to users (not forum post) and note that:

1. He doesn't say that anyone trying to use "sexual references" will be deleted or punished - only that their message will not be sent. He sayd people will be deleted if they try go GET AROUND this restriction. (Dunno how...)

2. Same with the +/- 14 rule - GETTING AROUND it will be punished.

Now, we all know (or should) that PoF has always scanned our messages and deleted or censored those with certain words, and things like e-mail addresses and web sited. So there's no surprise that he can scan for "sexual references." BUT there have also always been mechanisms to restrict only first contact, and allow continuing or reverse-initiated messages to continue. Mind you, that would only have worked while the gender-asymmetric rule was in place.

-Markus did not include anything in his letter about the 21-year extra restriction.

-Markus has introduced us all to his partner, and brought her to events, so I won't accept criticism about the following as being a personal attack - which it isn't: Markus, have you ever wanted to date someone more than 14 years older or younger than you? Is your own relationship straining those rules, or perhaps even defining them?

-Markus says he got 55,000+ messages replying to his e-mail and most of them were supportive. Supportive of WHAT? The age restrictions, or the Intimate Encounter and Sexual Reference ones?

-It's no surprise that most of the messages in this forum are from men - men make up the overwhelming majority of users, period. And Markus points out that a lot of the "females" aren't female, anyway. As he says, horny men talking to each other.

-Someone said that anyone searching for Intimate Encounters more than four times would get punished - isn't that anyone trying to make first contact with IEs, not searching? After getting the first IE solicitations (all from people looking for money) I looked to see what sort of people were listing IE, and I never had any problems.

-Terms of service cannot excuse certain types of discrimination, which may not be put into any terms of service. Restaurants can't refuse to hire or serve black people. Do you really need more examples?

-So some people don't like the sort of people who are messaging them, and complain about it. Gee, aren't we all used to seeing people think that their own standards should prevail for everyone? Can't people be diverse? But Markus...

... doesn't think that men should be shorter than women they date.
... doesn't think that men should date women who make more than they.
... doesn't think that anyone should date someone who is more distant in age than he considers his own taste.

Why impose stereotypes that are bad enough already?

Should military men not be able to contact women? Should black men not be able to contact white women? Should transvestites... well, that's so complex I don't know what any programmer could do about it. Most women probably don't want to hear from handicapped or conventionally ugly people. Going to label them, too?

Saying that a stereotype is a particularly pervasive one is no defense at all to this!

-I've lost 9 people in my life since December. To death, specifically. I didn't spend my life among only people my own age because I don't want everyone I know to die on me at once and leave me alone. And, in Markus' view, too old for anyone else to be a friend. The vast majority of people on PoF are more than 14 years younger than I, and the ones 14 years older are probably lot expecting to find lovers either. But I like having friends, and don't want to waste my time, money and liver meeting drunks in bars... who will still tell me that I'm too old, ugly and cheap to know anyway. The principal advantage of having so many fish in the sea is that there may, just MAY, be someone open to knowing someone who isn't the hottest thing on the planet.

-Markus wants PoF to be about relationships. Well, that's not what we've seen in the past, and in the "intents" and "seeking" choices we've seen. I like to chat with people from all over and of all types. I've never made any "sexual references" to ANYONE, though I've seen a few, all from one person to be fair. No, wait, there was one other - the youngster who I advised that someone was using her account, who replied that no, she really was horny for old guys. That ended that conversation.

-What do we do if we only message for relationships on Pof? Most of the men wait months for their first reply, and the messages they receive are often not what they are looking for. Who in this world is to blame for not being what someone else is looking for? Why are there so many profiles that say nothing but "just message me and ask about me," but respond with anger to many who DO ask?

Markus, why not just create a dating site where you have to be under 25 and rich, and not allowed to stay longer than six months, because if you haven't met someone by then, you're a loser and just wasting everyone else's time?

ED BEAR

Not deleting my profile because I wouldn't be able to create another. But certainly not happy.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 400
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 4:06:54 AM
So pretty much all this does is say to delete your current account (if POF didn't do it for you) and:

1) if you are married, or separated say you are single. (a lot of people did this anyways)
2) if you are looking for IE, say you are looking for LTR or dating.
3) if you're 50 and want to date 35y/o's, set your profile to say you are 40.

For all the complaints about 50y/o guys creating profiles that say they are younger, this does *NOTHING* to solve that problem, in fact it will only make it worse. For all the complaints about how people lie about their intentions in their profiles, this will only make it worse.

And as far as I know POF has never had a policy of deleting profiles just because someone happens to report that profile as being someone who lied about their age, or marital status, or whatever - because doing so would be doing so entirely on heresay, with no actual proof of the accuser being right. And should they start doing that, the only thing it would really accomplish is a lot of bitter people saying that "userA" is lying about "X" on their profile and should be deleted... ie, I could accuse anyone of lying about anything and get them deleted.

Really, this solves nothing and actually will only serve to *increase* the number of people with false/misleading things on their profile, pretty much making the site more worthless for people looking to date, rather than less.

Good work on implementing a technical solution to a societal problem!! Now can you implement a piece of code to solve world hunger too? How about a software solution to child abuse? Because if you can solve people lying in software, you should be able to fix those too!
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 401
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Posted: 5/23/2013 6:27:06 AM
Thanks for all of the laughs everybody. It's a free site and it's comical to see how many people that feel like they are owed something or that their human rights are somehow being violated here. I am 31 and know a lot of girls on here in their early 20s to mid 30s. Every single one had two major complaints about this site.

1.) Too many old guys messaging them.
2.) Too many sexual messages / penis pics. (Maybe you should remove the option to attach a picture in a first message.)

Many of them would delete their profiles because they just got tired of dealing with it all. And it must be more difficult to change age settings since none of them knew it was an option.


Brian, you should have really just told all these girls you converse with to set their age restrictions on emails to restrict ages they do not care to chat with. I have found way too many folks just like to complain and don't really want to do anything about it, because if they did they could have very easily done something about it.

Hey Mr. Big Fish how can you state what the 50,000 emails state when you don't even read them?





markus
5/21/2013 1232 PM View Message
Unread[\b][\quote]

If its not politicians telling us how to raise/feed our kids or what we are permitted to drink on city/state property (while doing completely the opposite) it's adults telling adults who they can talk to when these adults already had the liberty at their fingertips to already choose who they could talk to.
 rockstar1118nj
Joined: 3/28/2013
Msg: 402
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 6:56:43 AM

Every single one had two major complaints about this site.

1.) Too many old guys messaging them.


That had to be terrible.... Coming to a dating site and actually having people want to date you. To these girls, instead of helping them get less messages, the question of "What did you expect to happen?" should be asked.

If they didn't want guys who are too ugly for them messaging them, then they should have hid their profile, and looked for guys, and they send the first message.

I have no sympathy at all for people who had a bad experience because of something that was completely within their control.
 amraks
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 405
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Posted: 5/23/2013 8:50:36 AM
You know plentyoffish has been good for making friends.
I don't like facebook. I talk to people older than me sometimes, sometimes we click and meet up for a coffee and talk.

My question is why control your users, let your users control them selfs.
You had age restrictions on messages why not let the users decide who can contact them.

Seems to me the tech illiterate users on this site who always get messaged by older guys are getting the best deal.
What about them people who don't care and would love to talk to anyone.

You should of made the option for age restricted messages bracket on sign-ups, so users had a choice.

This site maybe free but just remember who is giving ad revenue, so my opinion does count.
 brian0417
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 406
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 9:44:29 AM

That had to be terrible.... Coming to a dating site and actually having people want to date you. To these girls, instead of helping them get less messages, the question of "What did you expect to happen?" should be asked.

If they didn't want guys who are too ugly for them messaging them, then they should have hid their profile, and looked for guys, and they send the first message.

I have no sympathy at all for people who had a bad experience because of something that was completely within their control.


Like many others have said, it's not easy to edit these settings from your phone. Most girls I know access this site from their cell phones.

What did they expect to happen? They are 25. They didn't expect 50 year old men to be messaging them. They expected guys within their age range to message them. You can't say you haven't read dozens of women's profiles saying they are tired of men old enough to be their dads messaging them.

I'm not sure how old men translates to guys being too ugly.

Let's face reality here people. The MAJORITY of girls on this site don't want old men messaging them. If you can't see that, you must be blind. The bulk of the complaints here are from men. Get over yourselves people. If you want to message girls outside of this 14 year age range, then go to another site. Markus already explained how rare it is on this site for anybody outside of the +-12 year age range to have a relationship. So he went above and beyond 12 years and made it 14. I like it. He answered the exact complaints that women were having.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 407
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 9:49:21 AM
Markus never said that relationships consisting of age disparities don't work, he said they are statistically insignificant on his site and encourage the wrong element ...

alright then. in this case, i find myself more or less persuaded by the statistics. go markus.


The bulk of the complaints here are from men. Get over yourselves people.

that too. what markus is basically doing is like digging a moat around the girl scouts camp to keep the old wankers out who were barging in in droves to pound out a few in the bushes. not fool-proof by any means or completely egalitarian (there's no way it can be), but i can see where it'll discourage the bulk of the riff-raff. since they're stupid and lazy anyway, they aren't going to spend a whole lot of effort trying to get around the rules; they'll just go somewhere else. i think that's exactly the intent.

if markus wants to start driving this site in a different direction and away from the "hookup site" perceptions, the only way he can practically do that is by setting the limits he's started to implement. sorry but that's gonna leave a few of you sad sacks out who really believe there are dozens of women 15 years younger are taking an overwhelmingly sincere personal interest in you and just how special they think you are.

in the end, the complainers still have lots of other options. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE HERE. head on over to Craigslist.

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

then he's sure not looking at mine, where 2/3 of the messages in my Inbox are from women under the age of 41

well based on such an astounding exception, I can't imagine why the 70-year-old cougars aren't also trying to get a piece of you or why you wouldn't complain about that.
 brian0417
Joined: 3/29/2012
Msg: 409
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 10:22:21 AM

I dunno about your neighborhood, but around here the women who are able to figure out smartphones are also able to figure out how to ignore messages from guys they're not interested in, no matter the age of the sender.

Not to mention that they can note in their profile that they are only interested in men of a certain age group, or who have hair, certain kinds of job, no kids or meet other requirements.


In my neighborhood, an attractive girl can get 20-100 messages in a day. I've seen girls post screen caps of their phones with 300+ messages on their profile. That's a lot of ignoring to do from a cell phone. I can't imagine what girls in NYC, Chicago, LA, etc have to deal with.

Since when has posting in your profile what you are looking for eliminated messages from people who don't fit that criteria? Every body always thinks of themselves as better than others. Guys will still message these girls because they are somehow "different" than all the rest. My profile is all about being active and living a healthy lifestyle. About 90% of the messages that I receive are from girls who are very obese and asking for a chance and telling me how sweet they are even though they know from reading my profile that they are not my type at all.

Markus is doing his best here to reign in the non-sense and bring this site back to a true dating site.
 NotaQuaker2012
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 410
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 10:29:58 AM

I see a lot of people complaining about the great friendships created from the site. That's great. But that's not the intent of the site and Markus doesn't want it to go in that direction. There are other sites out there for making friends. He obviously wants the SOLE FOCUS of this site to be about dating and relationships. I applaud him for that. I'm tired of seeing so many female profiles here that are only looking for friends. I want to find a relationship. If I wanted to make friends, I would go to other sites.


If this site wasn't about 'friends' as well, why is it an option? How many women is 'a lot' to you? Are you 'friends' with them or are you 'dating' them all? Which one is the 'SOUL FOCUS' of the site?


Thanks for all of the laughs everybody. It's a free site and it's comical to see how many people that feel like they are owed something or that their human rights are somehow being violated here. I am 31 and know a lot of girls on here in their early 20s to mid 30s. Every single one had two major complaints about this site.
1.) Too many old guys messaging them.
2.) Too many sexual messages / penis pics. (Maybe you should remove the option to attach a picture in a first message.)
Many of them would delete their profiles because they just got tired of dealing with it all. And it must be more difficult to change age settings since none of them knew it was an option.


Is this saying that the women that use this site cannot figure out how to use the 'age range' in the 'mail settings'? I don't believe that. Why not make the age range in the mail settings mandatory? Isn't that the simplest option? Isn't that what the 'mail settings' are for, so that you do NOT get mail from certain users?


He solved both of those problems. Let's face it, women run online dating. The site is here to cater to them. Wherever the women are, the men will follow. He is making these changes to make as many women happy as possible.


You don't solve one problem by creating more problems.


If you are 50 and want to date 30 year olds, just go to a different dating site. It's not that difficult.


For the record, the age range that is quoted in the message is much more than +/- 14 years.

There are already measures in place to stop people from contacting people that they do not want to hear from, they are called 'Mail settings'. MAKE them use them. Don't MAKE everyone else conform because others cannot.
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 412
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Posted: 5/23/2013 10:34:29 AM
As I said, this doesn't affect me greatly as I never contacted or engaged with women outside that range for dating purposes. All it does is remove the nice social aspect of POF where you could interact with men and women that shared certain interests or wanted to discuss forum topics in more detail. Is it a huge and crushing loss? No. But it is a bit unfortunate as it was a nice added bonus aspect of being here.

However, I just see this change as pointless. This will not stop older men from contacting younger women. They will just make new profiles where they lie about their age. There are plenty of men and women doing that already and all this change will accomplish is to increase the percentage of people doing that. As for eliminating sexual advances, all someone has to do now is hold off until the second or third message instead of propositioning in the first message. So again, it may help slightly but perhaps not much.

I think the greatest insight was just above and perhaps Markus is eyeing a sale of the site so he wants to maximize it's market value and image before hand. But these changes are like putting a band aid on an arterial wound. It might help for a moment but the patient will still bleed to death.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 413
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 10:38:16 AM
Let's face reality here people. The MAJORITY of girls on this site don't want old men messaging them. If you can't see that, you must be blind. The bulk of the complaints here are from men. Get over yourselves people. If you want to message girls outside of this 14 year age range, then go to another site. Markus already explained how rare it is on this site for anybody outside of the +-12 year age range to have a relationship. So he went above and beyond 12 years and made it 14. I like it. He answered the exact complaints that women were having.


Ok, well lets face reality here - the site, before these changes, let anyone set age ranges on their account - so the 20y/o women complaining about getting emails from 50y/o guys could quite simply have set their age restriction to "nobody over 34" and voila!!! Nobody more than 14yrs older!!! Wow, that was tough wasn't it??

So those who were complaining about getting mails from "too old or too young" simply were no using the feature that was *already there* and available to them to stop that. We need to implement the "nanny state" to do it for them? Are we saying that women are too stupid to figure out how to do this using the filters that were already available to them? Seriously? I'm not sure I like the idea of "the nanny site/state" telling me "you are too stupid to decide that for yourself", but that's most certainly the message being sent.
 NotaQuaker2012
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 414
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 10:41:54 AM
Sorry for the quotes there about your 'SOLE FOCUS' and my 'SOUL FOCUS' comment, when that is not what you actually said, we can call it a small Freudian type slip. Though it was just a set of quote mistakenly placed.

Also, something to think about as the reason behind this move, could be the large amount of data that is collected from this site and what is done with it. There are things that are asked here that no one that you date would ever need to know or really care about. So called 'data mining' is big business, don't forget that.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 416
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 11:28:34 AM
Although I appreciate the change, I do think a notice should have been sent to members before the change was implemented. This would have given persons in the midst of a conversation a chance to exchange personal information so they could continue conversing.

I get why he's made the moves he's made. I have some younger female friends and they all went to after a couple of weeks on POF. They were slammed with emails from guys over 40 (they were in their 20's) and they didn't stick around long enough to learn the mail settings. I personally was horrified when I joined and got emails from guys in their 50's. 50s!!!!! I immediately did research to resolve the problem and eventually found a great guy in my age range (31 - 41).

I'm inclined to believe these moves are in anticipation of a sale. POF has a bad reputation of drudging the bottom of the pond. Freaks and creeps galore. These restrictions help women in that they don't have to sift through the muck as much. I agree that these moves are band-aid moves. People are resourceful and will lie to get around restrictions. It'll slow down the newbies since they won't know about the restrictions initially. They'll run searches and wonder why they can't see women past a certain age. I think the best move would have been to force people to choose their preferred age range when creating their profile. Oh well.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 417
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Posted: 5/23/2013 12:47:59 PM
If "Big Fish" really wanted to make his site about relationships he would charge everybody $10/15 a month. It would clear out most of the riffraff in no time flat. Face if if you have no skin in the game you have nothing to lose...say you have 5% of men over 40 hitting on 18 year old girls...that 5% is a friggin boat load of men but no where near the majority of men...Why? Because they have nothing invested as they are really only looking for age, not a relationship. Same on the other side, girls/women sit on this site just to see how popular they can get and how many emales the can get with no intentions of dating...Why? Because they can do it, laugh about it, complain about it and tell their friends how many emales they have on their smart phone as they have zip invested in the site as well. When all they really need to do is use the filters in place to eliminate 90% of the crap, but the don't want to...After all a 100 emales sounds much better than 10.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 419
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 1:32:12 PM
If "Big Fish" really wanted to make his site about relationships he would charge everybody $10/15 a month. It would clear out most of the riffraff in no time flat.

I guess you've never been a woman with a profile on a paid site. I never got so much crap email from one website in my life until i signed up for yahoo personals one day after they went from a free to a paid site.


Because they have nothing invested as they are really only looking for age

putting the age restriction place 100% solves that problem, doesn't it??? besides, can you imagine the trantrums people would have if POF suddenly started charging $10/month for a free site?


Same on the other side, girls/women sit on this site just to see how popular they can get and how many emales the can get with no intentions of dating...

putting the age restriction in place won't solve that problem, but then again it's an imaginary problem because the only thing you can really know is that those women never bothered to answer your messages. so once again, a man complaining about the age restriction AND ALSO the roaming mobs of stuck-up women who weren't even bothering to answer his messages anyway. frankly with that kind of beyottching, I can't imagine why you'd think removing the age restriction would improve your chances.

no answer = not interested, even if she's within +/- 14 years.
 TuMuchFun
Joined: 9/29/2008
Msg: 420
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Posted: 5/23/2013 1:50:59 PM
Motown, the age restrictions were already in place to eliminate messages from ages you are not interested in. You only have like 3/4 restrictions on yours presently and none for age, which by the way is perfectly fine and if it works for you it's AOK. For those it does not work for, set your age restrictions. This is not going to stop anything, it will only increase bogus profiles. Maybe that is truly the goal, get more members to have bogus profiles.

I hate the restrictions but its a benefit for me regardless, Big Fish just eliminated a ton of competition. The restrictions, keep the youngsters from fishing in my lake. Sorry to all you 30/35 men, the hot 45/50 year olds are now off limits to yas.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 421
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 1:57:39 PM
Great the old pervs have nothing better to do now.

They are also wording their disgusting thoughts very carefully.

Obviously they figured out how to lie about their age. One guy today has 54 and he looks 74.

Thanks Marcus.
 riuser
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 422
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Posted: 5/23/2013 2:42:14 PM
Although I understand the reasoning, I do not agree with the implementation. It generally does not affect me because when I am searching, I am searching within those parameters. But, occasionally I will get an email from some one a little out of the range. If I think they sound reasonable, I do interact with them. And some of them would be a potentially viable mate.

Also, and more to the point, the users that abuse this system will find a way around it. In other words, this really mainly limits or significantly hinders those that abide by the rules. Those that want to abuse the system will find a way around it (and probably rather easily). Also, it will make it more likely that people will lie now that the rules are automatic.

It might just be better to just set everyone's age filter automatically and have people go in and adjust them. Or just new signups. Also, make it more prominent.

Another possiblity is to make a filtered mail folder and have anything outside of those filters go in to that. I feel that this would be the best solution. If mail is being returned or not delivered, those that are less scrupulous will find a way to get it delivered. But if it goes into a filtered mail section, they would never know and probably more likely to give up (because she did not respond). In addition, you could have "not junk" button so that if there is a filtered person, they could be individually moved to the regular inbox (kind of like with regular email).

Another possibility is if someone deletes an email without responding, a prompt could come up asking, "Do you want to change your mail/contact filters?" That way people will always know or be reminded that it is up to them to set their filters and can readjust them.
 VanillaSky47
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 423
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Posted: 5/23/2013 3:13:59 PM
AT LAST..!!!!!...someone gets it


"Markus is trying to improve the image of the site to positively affect market value, in anticipation of selling the site."


Or Big Fish is embarking upon a religious and moral crusade to save all of the women on here from the nasty smelly old men.....

Too late for me though I am already dating a guy who is 2.5 time beyond the +14yrs age difference...and its amazing...seriously amazing..my parents hated it at first...dont talk about it now but...accept that I made my OWN CHOICE all those years ago and I am still with him...So there Big Fish... shove that in your pipe and smoke it...!!!


"The previous model of promoting "quantity" over "quality" has jeopardized continuation of the free nature of this site by alienating advertisers due to an unwholesome image. "


I am taking a punt on the fact that the owner has received advice from the accountants and it is all connected with advertizing revenue...in the same way the owner is ignoring the memberships outrage at the change, he would have ignored the complaints about the "nasty smelly old men" contacting the nubile fertile young women...unless it is going to affect the bottom line...

Personally I don't care...you have to be female t contact me...so that limited the smelly old men to the one I have for myself...and I have profiles on other sites too anyway...OKC is brilliant as you can see when the person last logged into the site...no dead profiles...if they haven't logged in withing the last month I am wasting my time sending a message...not that good here for that...but..its free...

I really object to the assertion from the owner that I am a horny old guy pretending to be a girl...what a libelous statement that is...and I SERIOUSLY OBJECT to his moral code being imposed upon not just me...but EVERYONE on this site...how dare he impose his own nasty narrow minded moral judgement and prejudices on anyone...

Yeah I know,...I don't have to be here but that response is invalid - it is a cop out, clearly indicating that there is not argument against my position or anyone's position if that response is used...it means that you know I am right and you cant thing=k of a valid reason to counter the position I hold...

Markus is wrong in applying his moral judgement on everyone on this site....yeah he owns it...and he makes a living from it...but he does not own the thoughts and desires of the people who are members on here and he never will no matter what restrictions he applies...

I Choose to be free...and I am free to choose...Don't tell me who I can and cant talk to...

You are not the boss of me!!!

PS discrimination in any form is Illegal even in Canada...and contract law is different is Canada...to the US...Contracts are entered into when you agree to the Terms on this site..."Parties to a valid contract are always bound by law to carry out their promise."...and changing the terms on a whim and by default expecting anyone to agree by continued use is not an acceptance of terms..the "take it or leave it aspect" in a contract does not necessarily make it legal...To be valid and therefore legally binding, 5 conditions must be met. First there must be the mutual consent of both parties. No one can be held to a promise involuntarily made...worth noting POF....
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 424
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 3:35:52 PM
Maybe I should know better, but, finding so many that agree with Institutional discrimination Public or Private is OK, is shocking to me.....Then as a Red Haired White Guy who worked Construction, the number of other Whites who would sit around and complain about the Mexicans working on a job site was normal....What they didn't realize was I was married to a Latina, but they found out quick, when I didn't just accept their Racist views.....
 Southtc
Joined: 8/26/2012
Msg: 425
view profile
History
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 4:04:06 PM

Or Big Fish is embarking upon a religious and moral crusade to save all of the women on here from the nasty smelly old men.....


On behalf of the nasty smelly old men of POF, I resent that!!! lol
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 427
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 5:05:55 PM

I personally was horrified when I joined and got emails from guys in their 50's. 50s!!!!!


Holy crap!!!!


I just checked my birthcertificate............



Time to head for the pasture.
 SingleinSauga
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 429
view profile
History
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 6:51:22 PM
While I have no desire to communicate with men 14 years younger, or older for that matter, I DO resent POF dictating this. We’re all adults here, (though it’s hard to tell at times) and if we contact someone, that person is free to ignore / decline / accept communication, based on age / location / height / weight / whatever THEY determine. There may be little likelihood of marriage or LTR where there is such an age gap but it DOES happen. And there are those who are not LTR or marriage-minded (thus the options for “casual dating/no commitment” and “wants to date but nothing serious”). For many, age / location / height / weight are not factors in choosing dating or relationship partners. Such limitations should not be imposed upon us.

I agree that there are better options than this blanket rule, such as making selection of age filters mandatory upon sign up, placing the option directly on the mail page, or making the choice mandatory now. We’ve had many non-optional questions presented to us in the recent past and perhaps this should be one of them.
 kow626
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 430
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/23/2013 6:54:15 PM
As has been said, the mail settings already have options to do what BigFish wants to force on everyone with the new message restrictions. It's his site and he can do as he pleases and we all know that's exactly what he does. The site's history has shown that new features usually fail (Broadcasts) or are useless (Meet Me) and things go back to what they were because he doesn't consider input from the people who use the site for its intended purpose. The site has become what it's become for that very reason: A hook-up site, a meat market, whatever you wanna call it. No good changes ever came to prevent that from happening. The site's layout and functionality also hasn't really changed at all in several years. It needs a complete overhaul.

I read that the change effects a small percentage of users and who knows the stats better than him? He's also stated that he wants the site's focus to return to relationships (and not hook-ups that it's currently known for). If that's the case, what's the point of the eVow site then?
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