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 CaptainAA
Joined: 6/7/2012
Msg: 525
Message RestrictionsPage 18 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
I find it interesting that the admin believes they can "ban" someone from a free website. I have one profile, and could care less about multiple profiles for myself ( I have a hard enough time juggling multiple women with one profile lmao) - oh, I hope that's not against the rules (yet) lmao - but the threat from admin that they can "ban" someone is a complete lie. Let me guess you have a crystal ball, and you can see into the future to determine what new photographs taken will look like, what new names chosen will be used, what new emails addys chosen will be submitted - I call BS on the threat of being able to actually ban a person from POF successfully, so if it's not really possible, why lie about being able to do it? It only adds to the " We are greater than YOU" misconception that the POF owner (and admin) has decided to push down our throats....keep pushing - I personally like to vomit when sickened.....blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
 CaptainAA
Joined: 6/7/2012
Msg: 526
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 8:38:43 AM
oh, and most people have multiple pc's at home, at work, cell phones, and/or buy new machines every other year or two, so don't tell me that machine id's are the answer - complete lie
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 527
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 9:14:42 AM
Just an observation...
This thread has gone to 23 pages in 11 days. I'm sure that's not a record of any kind, just making the observation.
Unfortunately, all those yelling about violations of rights, ageism,etc...do you REALLY think that you can force some sort of legal or tort action that will be resolved before we're all dead of old age anyway?

Yes I do notice that a lot of the complainants are men. I know that a lot of men, regardless of age, complain that the women they message nust be so inundated with emails that they cannot answer them all and they are getting lost in the shuffle.
Is there some thought on the part of the management, that if men are restricted to only messaging women of "appropriate" age, more middle-aged and older women will get more emails? I guess my question would be whether the older women will question the validity of an upswing in their emails.

I'm sorry, I think it is a BAD idea to try and control who can contact who. Young women who are so sensitive that being emailed by a man 14+ yrs her senior is a significantly traumatic event, may want to confine their search for dating partners to local Sunday School picnics.
Look, part of adult human female life is about dealing with interest from men one doesn't want to date.
As far as "cleaning up" PoFs "image"...can one unring a bell? Put the toothpaste back into the tube?
Cindy O
 jimssearh
Joined: 12/13/2012
Msg: 528
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Posted: 5/30/2013 9:41:39 AM
Lets be honest here, Markus doesn't care. There are plenty of saner options people have proposed in this thread, like making the age range choice mandatory, but he hasn't replied to a single one of those posts. Who knows whats going on in his head, but hes decided that he is a beacon of righteousness, and everyone must follow his vision, because of course, if you don't agree with him, you're a dirty perv.

The only real option is to use other dating sites instead, badoo, , zoosk, whatever.
 bjvman
Joined: 1/9/2013
Msg: 529
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 10:36:28 AM
What's horrible is the fact that i like older woman so literally everyone I was talking to in my favorites I now can't speak to. I'm a younger man wanting to speak with older women. Why would the site choose who you can and can't talk to when the actual individual them self can set these parameters. If they didn't want to talk to someone of a certain age range they can set that specific on their profile but if they want to hear from me which I'm sure they do since we've been talking for quite some time why cut off our communication. I feel like it's the most ridiculous decision ever made
 ChemEng411
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 530
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 12:27:09 PM


This thread is for discussing the new restrictions.
The forum rules still apply.
Name calling is inappropriate and will result an any offending member being banned.


 Truly_Me
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 531
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 2:14:30 PM

I call BS on the threat of being able to actually ban a person from POF successfully


Thank you for finally saying this, CaptainAA! I call BS too. People will find a way around the restrictions when they want to, many without breaking stride. It couldn't be that hard.
 Aristotle_Amadopolis
Joined: 12/8/2011
Msg: 532
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 3:46:13 PM

I find it interesting that the admin believes they can "ban" someone from a free website...

Would you also find it interesting that POF has been successfully banning users for some time now, as it does not matter if the site is free or not, you still have to register to use it, and there are many tools that web masters can use to prevent people from being able to set up new account.

That said, is anything 100% fool proof? No, as it would stupid to think so, but the tools that POF uses will and does eliminate the majority from being able to come back.





...but the threat from admin that they can "ban" someone is a complete lie.

Considering POF has been banning people for some time, what knowledge are you basing your statement on?
 EmpireOfTheSun_
Joined: 5/27/2013
Msg: 533
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 3:49:43 PM
Markus, I support you brother!! Don't listen to the haters! Age restrictions work just fine for me. When I message a younger lady, I don't have to worry about half (or more) her inbox being full of nude pics and harassing messages from old creeps. Really, if all these young women were so much into older guys, then why aren't the old guys inboxes being filled with messages from young women? I think I've seen maybe, two young women complain about the age restrictions so far. All you clowns on here think you're the next Michael Douglas who's going to pick up his own Catherine Zeta Jones. Yeah right!!! Totally delusional. To all these old guys whining, just try to be a young woman on here, constantly getting harassed and getting sent nude pics by old fogeys. Really, try putting yourselves in their shoes. Good job Markus! Keep cleaning up POF!!!!!
 hoopsnhikes
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 534
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 6:20:26 PM

Great idea and when people start filling out the feedback now attached to messages and indicate that you profile is a lie it will be deleted and good chance you will be banned.

Thus proving that the owner idea will be able to weed out the people that are not honest.


I wouldn't think that anyone lying about their age in order to get around the new universal age restrictions is going to be up front about it in their mail, especially if they are only looking for a "hookup", as is supposedly the case in most instances of contact with an age discrepancy of over 14 years. I'm also not sure if looking for a hookup in itself would be grounds to have a profile deleted, though it looks like lying about your age will be.

So this would make me wonder what other lies/dishonest aspects of a profile, as reported via the new feedback tool, would be grounds to have a profile deleted - such as someone who smokes pot but answers "no" to the drug question, etc.
 TheWindingRoad
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 537
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/30/2013 9:38:08 PM
I am really dismayed that the employees of this site are inferring that this problem is exclusive to only "older" men. There are plenty of guys in there 20's that do this type of thing as a game. I resent the fact that I should be lumped in to this group simply bacause of my age & that somehow once you get to be forty something or 50, you automatically qualify as an "old creep", it's rather insulting. For me personally, I have no interest in contacting 18 -21 year olds, but seriously if I want to contact a 34 year old, or 30 for that matter, I shouldn't be blocked.

The idea that women 35 or under need to be treated as "dummies" or "protected" (from certain ages) is absurd, many of these women have multiple kids, etc., etc.....should they be labeled any less desirable to meet someones parents....no of couse not, but somehow anyone beyond an arbitrary age difference is, there is no logic behind such statements.

This is a very slippery slope that you have embarked upon.
 medievil
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 538
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Posted: 5/31/2013 5:34:18 AM

If anyone bothered to use a search engine (that's google to the boys and girls) about the real reason this is happening, then this thread wouldn't be so long. It's not just about the age restrictions or other things that have been eliminated. Okay let me put this in dating terms. You know when you meet someone new and you are going to meet their parents and you want to put your best foot forward... :lightbulb: The internet is fun when you know how to use it. Now everyone go to your rooms and do your homework. Cue "the more you know". ;)


that makes zero sense..
the "Real" reason??lol
cause some goofy chicks don't know how to filter messages?? or are you saying he is tryign o sell the site to some big sponsor?? and pissing off members helps that how??..lol

as I said before the restriction thing is ludicrous...it serves no purpose other than to treat members as if they are children unable to make their own decisions
 Ed Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 541
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Posted: 5/31/2013 10:11:56 AM
CawkBlawker - I have no idea what your last message means. Can you explain? You haven't said what you Googled to find what you think we should see. And the "the more you know" reference leave me clueless.

"If anyone bothered to use a search engine (that's google to the boys and girls) about the real reason this is happening, then this thread wouldn't be so long. It's not just about the age restrictions or other things that have been eliminated. Okay let me put this in dating terms. You know when you meet someone new and you are going to meet their parents and you want to put your best foot forward... :lightbulb: The internet is fun when you know how to use it. Now everyone go to your rooms and do your homework. Cue "the more you know". ;)"

The Other Moderator: What you say about photos is quite true but has nothing to do with age differences. We HAVE the rating system to deal with the rule-breaking images. And it relates to the image-sending issue, not to messaging. It belongs in that other thread. I doubt anyone bothered by hot-dog photos cared what age the offending wieners can claim.
ED BEAR
 EmpireOfTheSun_
Joined: 5/27/2013
Msg: 542
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 10:33:23 AM

This site is so anti-man it makes me want to vomit. The amount of pure misandry is disgusting.



Men have ruined online dating for other men. Guys who know how to create a good profile, photos, and messages, those are the men hurt by the creeps, losers, and thugs on here. We can't even connect to the women we want to talk to because of all these clowns taking up space in women's inboxes. They need to go, plain and simple. If age restrictions and private images are seriously getting in your way of finding a date on here, then maybe you need to rethink some things about your profile and how you interact with women on here.
 wiseromantic
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 543
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 1:15:10 PM
STUPID, controlling, disrespectful

18 or older are responsible for themselves enough. We don't need POF deciding for us that (and I quote) "a 50 year old man has no business contacting an 18 year old girl". One of the best relationships I ever had came from one where she was 20 years younger than me. It was a long term, loving, solid relationship that only ended due to her desire to go to school out of state and my career is thoroughly planted here in NY. It was unfortunate and we CRIED together. Thats not perverted in any way. I am 45 and she is 25. Surely a 25 year old woman should be able to decide for herself whether she would like a man 20 years (or more) older than herself.

If a man prefers a younger lady and vice versa, we're going to do what we want like it or not. All this new policy is going to do is make people create fake accounts with certain age ranges to get around the BS. Now you just made your site WORSE than it was before as most profiles will be based on deceptive information. Good job! BAD business decisions like this only prove the site isn't worth much anyway. BAD decisions like this will be the reason some new site will pop up in a year and make this one go bye bye.

Ladies and Gents, do NOT be ashamed of being FREE in your mind and soul when it comes to life and love. Do NOT allow control freaks to define you as perverts. You young ladies deserve to want and have men who know how to treat you right and you more settled and stable gentlemen deserve to feel young and appreciated by younger ladies. Our bodies grow older... our minds stay young... the images of who we want as a mate follow our minds not our bodies.

Be free thinkers... and free doers... this is YOUR life to do with as you please. As long as its legal (18 and over is legal in EVERY state in this country) then I support it.

Be blessed always and in all ways

-wise
 mx74bne
Joined: 5/18/2013
Msg: 544
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 2:10:42 PM

If anyone bothered to use a search engine (that's google to the boys and girls) about the real reason this is happening, then this thread wouldn't be so long.

(drivel removed)


If you had actually bothered to read the thread then you would have understood that there are valid concerns about this change, and we'd have been spare from reading your condescending post.

Have a nice day.
 WilliamofBaskerville
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 545
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Posted: 5/31/2013 2:17:49 PM

Men have ruined online dating for other men. Guys who know how to create a good profile, photos, and messages, those are the men hurt by the creeps, losers, and thugs on here.


That assumes online dating worked for such men in the first place. As far I can tell it never did. If you think there aren't enough 'creeps' in 28 year age span around a woman's age to flood her inbox, think again. If what these 'creeps' do didn't work they wouldn't do it. Thus it must work. It's low effort and they can send out hundreds and thousands of messages. Even less than 1% success rate is good payback for nearly zero effort. The 'creeps' have hit upon a sweet spot for online dating and age limits aren't going to fix it.

This is something those of us like you and I have to recognize as a given. It exists because it works for them and it's not going away. Not with some mere age limit anyway.

Oh and to your earlier post, yes, some real women in the online dating world are looking for / considering men > 14 years older than they are. Some even send the initial message believe it or not. I've experienced that first hand so I know it happens.
 wiseromantic
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 546
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 2:36:21 PM
If POF gave a vocabulary or IQ test when signing up they could eliminate most of the fools who ruin it for the rest of us.

Seriously though, can't stop anyone from being here for whatever reason is important to THEM. Its called FREEDOM. The ladies need to know how to filter these things. There are options for them to choose not to be contacted by someone outside of a certain age range. Each individual could set those options as they wish. I don't have a problem with the fools, thugs, etc... junking up women's inboxes on here. They have a right. But DO NOT take my rights away and call me (in so many words) a pervert for my (LEGAL) preferences. That's pretty much what POF did here.

what's next?? Maybe next week POF decides white men shouldn't be contacting black women.

Something to think about...



Something to think about,
Membership on POF is not a right. Ditto with features.
You have privileges. There is a huge difference.
POF has the freedom to offer what services they choose to offer.
You have the freedom to use it or leave.

 wiseromantic
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 547
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 8:47:46 PM
Something to think about,
Membership on POF is not a right. Ditto with features.
You have privileges. There is a huge difference.
POF has the freedom to offer what services they choose to offer.
You have the freedom to use it or leave.


Agreed and when the services offered are tainted with oppressive disrespectful dictator type judgements, I'm sure thats exactly what many will choose to do. Leave... OR... maybe just stick around and create accounts to get around the BS services. lol



...and those creating accounts to get around these changes are being banned/removed.

The amount of self-entitlement some users have blows me away.


 Mathostx
Joined: 7/26/2009
Msg: 548
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Posted: 5/31/2013 10:05:57 PM
Actually this change will end up hurting POF in the long run. It will drive away legitimate adults who once used this site to meet people. And since, as a free site, POF makes its money from non upgraded members by displaying ads, well, you get the picture. Fewer potential people viewing said ads, equals less value to said advertisers, thus they pay less for site real estate.. It equates to shooting yourself in the foot to spite your leg.

Now I'm seriously curious as to what kind of reputation PoF had.. Because prior to this little event, I use to recommend the site to people who wanted to meet people but didn't like the bar seen or have huge amounts of time to go out cruising. I can safely say that right now, and for the foreseeable future, I will not be recommending this site to anyone. In fact I'll likely steer them towards other sites, until some common sense comes back to the site.

And like I said, it's not that it effects me, though very slightly, I have 1 person I can't message, that added me to their favorites of their own accord. And, I don't go out of my way to message much younger women, though if one of legal age messages me and the spark is there I shouldn't be restricted. And as I said before, the reasoning behind it was personally offensive due to my family history with age differences in marriages.

And like has been mentioned multiple times, the proper way to fix the problem was to require people to select an age range upon profile creation or next login. Or, allow people to override the restrictions on an individual basis by setting their own age preferences, and if both parties have compatible preferences, then they can message each other. That way, it's still in the control of the individual. And not someone just arbitrarily deciding that my entire family are perverts because of their age differences for their mates.
 DuckFanKirk
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 549
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/31/2013 10:38:45 PM
Exactly. As was brought to my attention just now, the functionality exists for each user to set individual filters based on their own preferences. If people are complaining that too many young/old/perverted or whatever type of people are contacting them, then they should simply be directed to the part of the website that allows them to stop this from happening.

Instead, this site has chosen this bizarre blanket age range approach and has actually done more to ruin the individual experience than to improve it. I'm not mad because I am dying to contact a 45-year-old or a 21-year-old, but if there is mutual interest then I should, as a paying member, be allowed to pursue that contact so long as the other party is also someone willing to be contacted by a 30-year-old man.

POF, you are failing miserably even if your intentions are good.
 medievil
Joined: 6/3/2011
Msg: 550
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Posted: 6/1/2013 1:11:40 AM
I saw a blog post I think pretty much nails it.. POF WANTS people to leave.. at least men...Men outnumber women by a large margin, so the new idiotic age limit is designed to "encourage" people that do not agree with it (Mostly men) to move on, leave to other sites.. for some odd reason they think that will encourage more women to then sign up cause the people they "Think" are driving women away will be gone..
the blogger thought the whole thing was idiotic (It was a women BTW) as do most of the people posting here...
POF will now have the reputation of not respecting members ability to think for themselves, that notion is already starting to gain traction out on the net
 countreekidd
Joined: 6/30/2009
Msg: 551
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Posted: 6/1/2013 1:14:08 AM

Markus, I support you brother!! Don't listen to the haters! Age restrictions work just fine for me. When I message a younger lady, I don't have to worry about half (or more) her inbox being full of nude pics and harassing messages from old creeps. Really, if all these young women were so much into older guys, then why aren't the old guys inboxes being filled with messages from young women? I think I've seen maybe, two young women complain about the age restrictions so far. All you clowns on here think you're the next Michael Douglas who's going to pick up his own Catherine Zeta Jones. Yeah right!!! Totally delusional. To all these old guys whining, just try to be a young woman on here, constantly getting harassed and getting sent nude pics by old fogeys. Really, try putting yourselves in their shoes. Good job Markus! Keep cleaning up POF!!!!!



Men have ruined online dating for other men. Guys who know how to create a good profile, photos, and messages, those are the men hurt by the creeps, losers, and thugs on here. We can't even connect to the women we want to talk to because of all these clowns taking up space in women's inboxes.


I guess you're saying that you are one of the "good" guys on PoF, but didn't the moderator warn someone, not too many posts ago, about calling people names? You're not the only one I've seen using the word "creeps" or "creepy" in this thread, but you've added "haters", "losers", and "thugs"...and lastly "clowns". You might attempt to justify this by saying you're generalizing, and not referring to anyone in particular, but you made this last post in response to someone else's post, and hinted that there's a real possibility that his issues are of his own doing...


They need to go, plain and simple. If age restrictions and private images are seriously getting in your way of finding a date on here, then maybe you need to rethink some things about your profile and how you interact with women on here.


When I read your response, the irony was rather amusing--someone could say to you..."If women receiving email from other men, is seriously getting in your way of finding a date on here, then maybe you need to rethink some things about your profile and how you interact with women on here.". Now, how helpful does that sound to you? Have you considered that the reason you can't "connect" with some women, is simply because they're not interested in you? Maybe it has nothing to do with their inboxes. Let me ask you this...have you ever been in a conversation with a woman on here that complained about how her inbox gets flooded? I have, so it tells me that even with a flooded inbox, she managed to wade through it all and respond to some emails. If I never get a response, I don't blame the population of her inbox, I just figure I wasn't her type and move on.

As for the topic at hand...

Age restrictions, or whatever else restrictions/filters the site puts in place, will reduce the amount of emails to some extent, but that doesn't really clean up a site's image--those within each others' age ranges could, and probably still will, use the site to "hook up"--and they don't have to talk dirty to make that a reality. The site creator made the site what it was--no one forced him to have "Intimate Encounters" as a selection for intent, or to allow married people--or to make a phone app that doesn't implement email filters--he did this himself. He purposefully created a site with broad appeal--maybe because that's what gets "clicks. That's why his baby has the image it does (to be honest, I never knew PoF had a bad reputation until all of these changes were announced)...trying to shift blame to others, is human--just like the poster I quoted earlier. If there's a problem that needs to be fixed, work the problem (ie the phone app), and try not to point fingers. After all, it could easily be argued, given the evidence, that the only rehabilitation this site needs, should be focused on who runs it.

Some have speculated that perhaps the owner is looking to sell PoF, or maybe he's missing out on lucrative advertising due to the site's less than wholesome image...I don't really understand how all of that works--given the changes and reasons he outlined in his email--can someone explain this to me? Who would be looking to advertise, to the "online dating demographic", that would be put-off by...well, online daters of varying circumstances and intentions? Or who would be looking to buy an online dating site, that would say letting people outside of +/-14 years contact each other, is a deal breaker?...wouldn't the buyer have the power to make whatever changes they deemed necessary anyway? I might be missing something...


In short the vast majority of people will not be impacted. This is because the vast majority of people are not going around spamming women saying "let's have sex tonight". I can't change POF alone, I need your help to get the word out there that POF is all about relationships!

Markus


In the above quote, from the email I received, Markus states "I can't change PoF alone..." but that's exactly what he's done...better or worse remains to be seen.

Hindsight being 20/20 and all...I would like to ask Markus if he thinks it would have been better to have proposed changes--and why he felt they were necessary--but gave the members of the PoF community time to offer feedback and suggestions, before implementing them? I ask this because some of the suggestions from this thread seem very reasonable, and were probably doable in a timely manner...meaning the hemorrhaging would've been kept to a minimum (ie members rage quitting before changes could take effect). And if it wasn't about people quitting, but was really just about those "2% of men" that were using their mobile phones for hook-up/"let's have sex tonight" emails--was that sufficient enough reason to enact these new changes so abruptly?

I'm not saying you (Markus) won't or can't still take the suggestions offered in this thread into consideration...I guess I'm wondering if you do or don't see a problem with how this all occurred?
 EmpireOfTheSun_
Joined: 5/27/2013
Msg: 552
Message Restrictions
Posted: 6/1/2013 4:10:58 AM

(to be honest, I never knew PoF had a bad reputation until all of these changes were announced)



Really?? PlentyOfFish has had the worst reputation. POF has been the Dollar General/WalMart/BigLots of dating sites, low price, extremely low quality. Why do you think all these recent changes have been made? It couldn't have been from the men complaining about getting sent nudes pics and harassing messages. Another thing, like Markus said, the majority of POF members are using the mobile apps, they're not spending time on the website looking at ads and things. POF has to increase the value of its brand. POF can't do that with all the low lifes on here. I really hope that many of these men just delete their accounts and leave. Online dating is a big sausage party, and I have no sympathy for the fools who ruin it for everybody else.

Btw, with my previous comments, I'm not calling out anybody in the forums. Obviously, by posting in here, y'all have some kind of smarts.
 mixednuts1983
Joined: 5/23/2013
Msg: 553
Message Restrictions
Posted: 6/1/2013 4:53:15 AM
Sir, you are so wrong.
I just joined this site about a week ago and the restrictions are very offensive. Please remember, you're a Canada based company, so do as you wish when dealing with your own. Here in America, we don't like our wings clipped or draconian website founders who have decided to impose their own personal morals and standards on us.
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