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 forumitejunkie
Joined: 1/12/2012
Msg: 70
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Again.... ridiculous! Allowing people more filters as to whom may make initial contact= smart. Playing God and making the decision for them = bad business.

As previously mentioned, if the phone app is so popular, and was causing trouble because it didn't allow for setting filters, then FIX the PHONE APP.

Asap people start talking about the right or wrong of who contacts/dates whom, it's simply a case of you imposing YOUR moral values on others. People of legal age are free to engage in conversation and/or date whomever they please, regardless of age.

Ah well, wasted breath. As always, it's a free site and you're its owner, and will do as you please. Because in theory, the MAJORITY of us here to date were searching in a that 15 yr gap, anyway, I expect most won't vote with their most powerful tool = their feet, by leaving. But, that still doesn't mean this was a justifiable maneuver.
 jeh1963
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 71
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 6:46:15 AM
Bigfsh:

So as to the statement below:

+/- 14 years of age is now in effect for all ages. I double checked our hundreds of thousands of relationships we track. Turns out outside of +/- 12 years there is virtually no chance of a relationship, and what chance there is is heavilly dependent on the guys high income. Oddly there are more examples of old women dating young men.

My question is this:

There is virtually no chance? Is there a sure thing anywhere? If you have double checked the relationships you track how many ended sucessfully? Have you contacted users that have deleted their account to see if they found someone and asked how old they are? I would bet that most people who have found someone here just delete their account and move on with their life. I have been on here off and on for many years. I have meet a few people here that are great people and some not so great. The bottom line is of the good and bad, age had nothing to do with it.

The real question is are you willing to offer a pro-rated refund for upgraded memberships that paid prior to these restrictions or did not know they were in place since it is not posted anywhere?

If so then as far as I am concerned that is fine. If you want to limit the age to +- 1 year then fine. POF is not the only option. People who disagree can move to other sites, just dont take our money and they limit us without offering a refund.

I just have one last question to ask you. Have you ever purchased a lottery ticket or entered your name in a drawing for anything? If so, WHY?
 jeh1963
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 72
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 6:55:41 AM
Here is a thought. Why don't you have your web designer create a small poll that appears on the home page and do a survey of registered users about this rule. Make the results available for viewing by members.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 74
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:19:29 AM
I still have *somewhat* mixed feelings about this. But the truth is I have no skin in the game at all. No one over fourteen years my senior is ever going to contact me, nor would I ever contact a fellow that much younger than me. I've never much minded the contacts from the baby boys, but it never gave me any kind of thrill, was seldom responded to, and only gave me a grin or two. DO have to note that several long term friends of both sexes from here are well outside the guidelines, and I'd miss having known them.

But, the little girl, and young girl and woman that I was, from 12 on for about 25 more years who received the dogged "interest" of men old enough to know better. . . . Well *that* girl is grateful for the workings of the Karma Fairy, lol! Thanks, Markus.
 Luckyone1031
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 75
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:26:46 AM
Is it just 14 yrs. younger? I have been talking to a guy for several weeks and now he cannot respond to my messages because I am over 14 yrs. older. I can send him messages but he can't answer me. We were able to connect on yahoo and he said his age range was changed he can't talk with anyone 14 yrs younger or 14 yrs. older. I don't understand why POF can say who you can and can't talk to.
 mcrmcr
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 76
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Posted: 5/20/2013 7:33:17 AM
I'm 34 and now I can only search 22 and above. That's 12 years. I think I can still contact 20 and above though. Oh, and my parents are 17 years apart. They were 18 and 35 when they met. Should I tell them they can't talk anymore?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 77
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:36:14 AM
Luckyone1031, can you send him msgs but he can't respond?

One thing very annoying about POF, one is often left to guess what the total scope of any changes are.

Like woob, I don't have any skin in this at all. IMO they would let younger women decide to open contact with an older man and then he could respond. But the older man could not contact the younger women first. Or force age restriction choices that also work on phone apps.

But likely these would only benefit a very few and cause a lot of additional software overhead. Keeping overhead costs down is critical on this type of semi-free site.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 78
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:40:12 AM
I think the people who are upset about this are allowing emotions to cloud the view of the bigger picture here.

If you consider all the recent changes, chat disabled, forum link removed, age message restrictions, IE for paid membership.......what does it tell you?

Mr. BigFish is steering POF in a direction he desires based on his right of ownership and his business acumen.

How many times have we heard in the forums about time vampires, scammers, creepy pervs, people looking for friends on a dating site, etc.

It appears as though Mr. BigFish has been listening and using his business acumen to address these issues and steer POF into the direction of a more reputable, generalized DATING site!

If you want friends.....facebook

May/Dec relationship.......sugardaddy/cougar dating sites

Intimate encounters......paid membership
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 80
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:48:46 AM

If you consider all the recent changes, chat disabled, forum link removed, age message restrictions, IE for paid membership.......what does it tell you?


Maybe after getting such a huge membership base, he is grooming POF to be sold? He wants to cash out and be done with POF?
 Luckyone1031
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 81
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 7:54:33 AM
Yes he was receiving messages from me this morning but could not respond. Is this restriction only for men?
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 82
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:00:40 AM
It would be cruel for a sexy young hottie to MSG older men, knowing they can't respond. It might drive them over the edge.

It does seem it applies only to men, very sexist even if more women date younger than men date younger.

Oh well, it makes for interesting forum chat. I have no skin in the game.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 83
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:04:13 AM
The site owner says


if you are are looking for women the youngest you can search for is your age -14 this rule is only in effect if you search for women under 35. Women 18 to 21 can only be contacted by men under 30. (not fully implemented yet)

Women who are 18 come to the site to find people to date, they don't come here to find "friends" with men in their 50's.


I guess all those successful fall spring relationships we hear about in the forums and see in the media are just a myth and there are no young women looking for a Sugar Daddy on this site either. Considering how many young women are looking for man who is more mature than men their own age limiting women who are under 21 to men under 30 seems a little restrictive.

Personally I think it's ridiculous that women have no restrictions on who they contact but men do. Maybe the site thinks that there is a significant EWWW factor for women under 35 receiving messages from men 14 yrs their senior but no such thing for men of any age receiving messages from women of any age.

As mentioned by a number of posters above we already have means to restrict messages and block undesirables and women are free to use this liberally. To me this sparks of the site feeling a need to play the knight is shining armour for all those poor defenseless young women who can't figure out how to set their mail restrictions.




The creepy old guys brought this on themselves.


This one made me laugh - it is from a poster who is 31 who is now a creepy old guy ( in the eyes of the site ) who cannot can no longer message women under the age of 21 but he is free to message women old enough to be his grandma - and apparently the site doesn't think that's creepy some how.

In keeping with the new direction this site seems to be headed in I would suggest that they add a little mustache to the fish on the site's logo.
 Bosscat109
Joined: 4/24/2012
Msg: 84
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:13:43 AM
So love does has limits

+/- 14 years

Truly bogus that despite there being filters in place, the owner has taken it upon himself to dictate who anyone can contact in regards to age. There is someone on here that is 15 years younger then myself, yet we get along just fine as friends........luckily we made contact outside of this site before the "Love Police' stepped in.

You are slitting your own throat and turning paying customers away, but hey, enjoy the fall that greed and stupidity bring!
 mcrmcr
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 85
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Posted: 5/20/2013 8:24:23 AM
I've noticed many women state in their profile that they only want messages from guys in a specific age range. This also goes for women in their 30s and up wishing not to be contacted by much younger men. I think that's because nobody wants to take the time to figure out where the age filter is, just like all the other things people skim over just to finally get to searching. Just put an age filter or "who can contact me" button at the top of the page or within someplace obvious like the inbox. Done.
 jblack2000
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 86
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:25:57 AM

Maybe after getting such a huge membership base, he is grooming POF to be sold? He wants to cash out and be done with POF?


No, that's his baby, he's not going to give up control by selling it. That's my guess, anyways.
 rockstar1118nj
Joined: 3/28/2013
Msg: 87
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 8:33:29 AM
Listen guys, the site has always been seen as a joke by a lot of the people who use it. So I can kind of see the point of wanting to steer the site more towards a place to actually find people to date. Cuz that's been one of the big complaints... "Nobody ever answers me". Remember, the less guys that can message that girl, the better your odds of actually getting an answer back, because it's not as likely that someone better is gonna come along.

Meanwhile, true, there are 18 year olds who are legitimately attracted to 40 year olds, and some who only date people in their 40s exclusively, regardless of income, some people just like older. There's going to be a lot of people leaving over this. Not everyone is interested in their randomly thought-up age range. They'll leave, they'll find a new site. And the direction this site is going pushing more and more towards being a pay site, which not as many people are willing to risk since paying doesn't magically make people less shallow, a lot of this site might follow. And not necessarily because they can't message someone from out of the age range that they want, but because of the principle that the decision is being made for them by someone else. I agree that it should be up to each individual person to decide, but it's not my site.

POF isn't going to last forever. But this site is a business, he's gotta push it to what he thinks will stretch its success out. People who run a website still have bills to pay. I wouldn't be surprised if we see even more restrictions popping up, because the more successful a site is at forming relationships, the more people want to use it. But the paid features, like paying for search options, can get risky, because there's other free sites, and nothing is stopping anyone from making a new one, so from a business perspective, markus needs to be careful about what you have to pay for. It's hard to justify $15/month to message someone and hope they even open your email, when saying hi to random people in public is free.

There's nothing any of us can do, besides just sit back and see where the site goes. Yeah, it sucks that some conversations were broken up, potentially between two people that could have formed something serious, but within a couple weeks, are any of us really going to care anymore?

One thing I want to say though, there's a lot of us who work in transportation, or are going to... For a lot of people in that field, you don't necessarily have a home. While my bed is in NJ, I might want to be spending my days off with my truck parked in LA. Don't add any restrictions on the range of the search from home, because for some of us, we have an actual choice of 48 different states to want to "live" in at any time. And to find someone actually willing to try to form a relationship with someone who's only going to be home for 3-4 days every 4 weeks, we need as big of a potential pool as possible.
 fishin_4u
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 88
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Posted: 5/20/2013 8:58:14 AM
Again, a policy change that is totally unnecessary, and at the very least not very well thought out.
Please consider:
1. All members on here are consenting adults, by way of their signing up as members.

2. All members already have the criteria choices to select from, from whom they want responding to their profiles, in the mail preferences section of their profile updates, INCLUDING AGE RANGE. Do you know how your own site actually works?

3. From what I gather, it seems there is a MUCH bigger problem of younger males hassling older women members. But again, their personal choice of age range will resolve that.

4. How do you plan on addressing the issue of already established correspondences? Your making us out to be jerks by making it look like were not responding, AND WORSE, you implement this policy with no warning or notification, and then make it look like its recipients fault or choice by HIDING behind your own LAME error message: “**** is not accepting messages from someone of your age or gender. Return to your inbox”
Contrary to what your dopey statical analysis says, I’m certain your hanging a lot more members out to dry than you think with this one. Both younger and older.
I realize this is your site and you can do what you wish, and for the most part, still the best one out there. But can you manage to be at least a little more forward thinking when implementing new policy, and more professional when enforcing it? At least have the decency to notify all your members, that from now on, you will be deciding with whom they can correspond with.
 Railrunner
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 89
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Posted: 5/20/2013 9:01:34 AM
I gather BigFish should change that to "Big Brother". Orwellian society, anyone?

Granted, this rule won't affect me one way or the other, but this is still a bad sign of things to come.
 jeh1963
Joined: 5/11/2013
Msg: 91
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:33:59 AM
Upgrading will not allow you to contact. I am an upgraded member and have the same restrictions. The best you can do is list a notice on your profile so they can see it, or be dishonest and create an account, lie about your age, contact the user and give them an email address. I am not suggesting that you do this though.

Bigfish,

Do you see the reasons this should not be in place? It encourages lying and fake users which is not the answer.
 iron48
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 92
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:42:35 AM
I am 64 and have been e mailing a lady 48, sure a mature lady, she has sent me 3 messages this morning all I can't answer. He last message was not a nice one as she thinks I am ignorring here. What a mess this is..
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 94
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 9:59:21 AM
While I am opposed to this change based on it taking away personal freedoms and the ability of members to make their own choices and I am opposed to the date rating feature based on it being open to abuse with no checks and balances I have to say that neither of these feature will significantly affect me.

In the 4 yrs I have been here on and off I have gotten into far more trouble for being outspoken on these forums than I have for bad behavior on the dating portion of this site - I have only been blocked once to my knowledge and I have since have had a message from the same woman. So far I have only gone on meets/date with women within an age range that is less than the +/- 14 yrs the site is planning to implement and I have had very few correspondence with women outside this age range either.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 95
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 10:05:09 AM

I am 64 and have been e mailing a lady 48, sure a mature lady, she has sent me 3 messages this morning all I can't answer. He last message was not a nice one as she thinks I am ignorring here. What a mess this is..


I would tell you to message me her info and I would send her a message for you but... you can't. Gosh. You're right, for those who were already in contact this is a big, fat mess. I can see them running to the forums now to start a thread "We have been talking for weeks. We have sent messages back and forth all day and now he won't even answer me!! What did I do wrong? Is he just a player?" Ugh.
 iron48
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 96
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 10:12:56 AM
I am sad that she is mad at me, her last message was a bit nasty. She is a paying memebr and can see that I read her messages. Oh well..Thank you for trying to help me
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 98
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 10:21:22 AM
Not sure how much pity I can actually muster for a 64 yo fella cheating on his wife when his new gurl can't get through because, you see, he *can't* give her his home email because the wife, yanno. . . .
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