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 oldie_but_hottie
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 99
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Message RestrictionsPage 4 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)


What's to stop the old guys from using fake accounts with a bogus age?

Nothing. I expect we will see this become an even larger problem. Men and women will lie about their ages more than ever before.


That's only one effect. The big M mentioned his stats and if he has someone who actually knows how to interpret data, they will notice not only a significant increase in the number of users (which is very good as it correlates to higher revenue and a higher posted number of users), but also an incredible shift of the median age of users toward the early 30s.

Essentially this whole change creates nothing but a breaking of established virtual relationships, as well a large shift of virtual demographics. This is certainly not a change that will improve the image of a site known for it's el-cheapo bottom feeders, and we will see how the media will reflect on this.

I am wondering what's next - validation birth dates and names using birth certificates or social insurance numbers would be a logical step ...
 mcrmcr
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 100
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Posted: 5/20/2013 10:26:03 AM
Just wanted to say again that I'm now limited to searching 12 years back, but can message 14 years back. This is getting weirder.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 101
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Posted: 5/20/2013 10:50:49 AM
The big M mentioned his stats and if he has someone who actually knows how to interpret data


If it's the same group of "geniuses"


The list has been generated by our resident team of PhDs who are experts in compatibility science


that came up with my list of Top Relationship Prospects

- Number one is a woman who messaged me first and never returned my reply, number three on the list is the only woman who has blocked me since I have been here and number five on the list is a woman whose only response to the initial message I sent her was "no" -

- then things can only get worse.
 Ezme75
Joined: 8/22/2012
Msg: 102
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 11:15:02 AM
I am a website developer and deal with issues like this all the time. Sometimes programmers do not make the best decisions and things need to be fixed. Coming from a HEAVY marketing background, I can tell this was not well thought out and seemed to be more of a reactionary decision.

There's a VERY simple way to solve the problem:

1. Create a field in the DB that says "AGE FILTER SET" = NO.
2. Next time the user logs in, say:
"Hello POF user, we've received many complaints users contacting outside of your desired age range, kindly please set your desired age range before continue. You will NOT receive messages from users outside of this range."
3. User sets age range, table in DB is set to 'YES'..
4. Problem solved!

A slightly more complex solution would be to implement a "Filtered" Folder so that users can still look at messages outside their range if they are not having much luck. By clicking in a special folder.

This would have been too easy.

PS. My parents divorced when they were in their late 30's. My mom married someone 17 years older, my dad 15 years younger. Both have been married now for 15-20 years. Happy and successful. So don't say this doesn't happen.

ALSO: Due to the social-economic issues of the day and poor economy, 20-something men typically suck at dating and 20-something women are looking to older men for security and maturity. I hear it daily as I am around young women in that age bracket all day long.
 iron48
Joined: 12/5/2012
Msg: 104
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Posted: 5/20/2013 11:38:11 AM
do u think the big fish cares what we think??
 senseandspirit
Joined: 4/26/2013
Msg: 106
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Posted: 5/20/2013 11:51:15 AM
markus
5/20/2013 258 PM

My name is Markus and I created POF/Plentyoffish. When I created POF, I wanted it to be all about finding relationships with the right person. For the first 7 years this worked really well, I got the site to 10 million users without any employees people and POF was generating a ton of relationships. Around 3 years ago, everyone started using the website via mobile phones. Today about 70% of POF use is via a mobile phone and unfortunately about 2% of men started to use POF as more of a hookup site mostly due the the casual nature of cell phone use.

In sticking with my vision that POF is all about Relationships, I'm going to make a bunch of changes to ensure it stays a relationship-focused site.

1. Any first contact between users that contains sexual references will not be sent. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will be deleted without warning. This rule has actually been in effect since last month and it's made the site so much better.

2. You can only contact people +/- 14 years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hookups. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will get deleted.

3. Intimate Encounters will go away in the next few months. There are 3.3 Million people who use the site every day, of those there are only 6,041 single women looking for Intimate Encounters. Of those 6,041 women, the ones with hot pictures are mostly men pretending to be women. Intimate Encounters on POF can be summed up as a bunch of horny men talking to a bunch of horny men pretending to be women.

In short the vast majority of people will not be impacted. This is because the vast majority of people are not going around spamming women saying "let's have sex tonight". I can't change POF alone, I need your help to get the word out there that POF is all about relationships!

Markus
 DonJ77
Joined: 2/8/2013
Msg: 107
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 11:54:17 AM
Yep. It is totally ridiculous and totally unacceptable that we have to be limited in age ranges. Especially a 14 year limit? So a man who's 40 and is interested in a 55 year old woman - it happens - can't contact her? Or a 60 year old interested in a 75 year old?

Some people may not understand that people of considerably different ages might be interested in being together, but it still happens.

This is incredible they should allow us to make our own choices.

People are already capable of setting their own restrictions in their profiles. Those who aren't interested in someone 14+ years older or younger can set filters.

We don't have the choice now?

This is most probably all business. It's not to protect us.
 xCoopsx
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 110
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Posted: 5/20/2013 11:59:19 AM
I am a website developer and deal with issues like this all the time. Sometimes programmers do not make the best decisions and things need to be fixed. Coming from a HEAVY marketing background, I can tell this was not well thought out and seemed to be more of a reactionary decision.

There's a VERY simple way to solve the problem:

1. Create a field in the DB that says "AGE FILTER SET" = NO.
2. Next time the user logs in, say:
"Hello POF user, we've received many complaints users contacting outside of your desired age range, kindly please set your desired age range before continue. You will NOT receive messages from users outside of this range."
3. User sets age range, table in DB is set to 'YES'..
4. Problem solved!

A slightly more complex solution would be to implement a "Filtered" Folder so that users can still look at messages outside their range if they are not having much luck. By clicking in a special folder.



Spot on... What has actually happened is an example of lazy and arrogant administration/ownership of the site.

At least as easy, and with exactly the same initial result that BigFish has achieved with this farce would would have been to send everyone a message saying that by default their settings had been set by the site administrator to only allow contact with a certain age range, but that if they wished to adjust these settings it could be done in the mail settings.

The fact that it's blocked existing conversations is even more shocking. The fact that BigFish has not responded to this in any meaningful way simply shows how little he gives a damn about his customers.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 111
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New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 12:04:52 PM
i can see markus' point, from a business perspective. the site's viability lives and dies with how comfortable women are using it, and most people are happy to be relieved of the burden of working out their own decisions. daddy is looking out for his little girls, and that's a model that many, many people are comfortable with.
 mcrmcr
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 112
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:05:05 PM
2. You can only contact people +/- 14 years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hookups. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will get deleted.

The cutoff is set at 14 years but then your example is an 18 yo and a 50 yo. That's 32 years difference and most would admit that's creepy/sugar daddy stuff. Why 14 years?
 lil_pup1415
Joined: 3/24/2013
Msg: 113
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:08:51 PM
Is anyone else of the opinion that limiting who we can choose to speak with is an infringement of our freedom of speech? The fact is the tools were already there to limit what ages could contact you. Taking away our right and freedom to choose who we speak with is a blatant infringement upon our freedom of speech. Not to mention the fact that it was originally directed just toward men which was sexist. Realizing this it was changed which is good. Now how about the site stops infringing upon our first amendment rights?

The fact is this site blatantly disregarding our rights as consenting adults and human beings to speak with who we please. With that being said it does have a paid membership section which while generating revenue will be a factor against it in this case. Since it generates money has employees and members the site is essentially a business. Not just essentially it is a business. A business infringing upon constitutional rights. I suggest members who really truly feel this is worth fighting over file a report with the better business bureau.
 xCoopsx
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 114
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:09:38 PM

The cutoff is set at 14 years but then your example is an 18 yo and a 50 yo. That's 32 years difference and most would admit that's creepy/sugar daddy stuff. Why 14 years?


Why? Because it's easier to put up an extreme age range to help justify the heavy handedness.
 oldie_but_hottie
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 115
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:13:48 PM
Interesting, I also use the android app once in a while but pretty much all "my matches" have an age difference of much more than 14 years ... so what's the point of matching them to me if I can't contact them?

And further to the "my matches" - most of them are located in different communities, and as I don't have a vehicle I would not be interested in contacting them anyway.

The point being - there is so much on POF that really is broken or makes no sense and needs to be fixed - why tamper with something that clearly is not. Seems like a major waste of resources.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 116
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 12:21:11 PM
Now that we have all recived a message from Markus I would imagine more than a few would feel a need to give him dating feedback.

If POF is going to require us all to be totally PC in our messages then they may as well put an editor on our messages to prevent us from inadvertently breaking the rules for proper conduct on his site. If the site can track messages the way he is suggesting for violations then why not just have an editor to prevent these messages from being sent.
 senseandspirit
Joined: 4/26/2013
Msg: 117
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:23:18 PM
^^^ Great Idea of the Day (dating feedback)





Surely those who have been having conversations or have struck up relationships on here should have at least had the courtesy of being able to make alternative arrangements should they wish to do so.


Markus, in his sent message to everyone's inbox, did not clarify that the restriction only applies to men. Did that change?

If not, then now that the women know, and if they want to continue contact, they can message an alternative that is offsite. But, if they take Markus' message literally, they may think that all is lost. . . .

Oh, and, gee, I don't know how I got Markus' message, as I'm 18 years older!


 oldie_but_hottie
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 118
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:31:55 PM

My name is Markus and I created POF/Plentyoffish. When I created POF, I wanted it to be all about finding relationships with the right person.


How is a relationship defined here? POF has different "relationship" types or options going from hang-out to friendship, to dating, to long term. Each of these may require different age and gender profiles, so we may end up creating different profiles for each of the different relationship types. For example, I am new to a city and would like to build a network of friends here, so my "friend" profile would look for both males and females of ALL ages, that have similar social interests. Maybe friendship and hang-out are not considered relationships so these options should be eliminated to conform with the stated goal of the site.

On the other hand, in my "long-term" profile I might focus on women of reproductive age without children of their own (maybe in the 28 to 32 years range) and focus on my desire of starting a family and being an old-fashioned provider. I am a very healthy and youngish 50-year old who has built a great career and has no-one to share my accomplishments with, so the current restriction actually prevents my long-term profile from being useful.


2. You can only contact people +/- 14 years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women. The majority of messages sent outside those age ranges are all about hookups. Anyone who tries to get around this rule will get deleted.


If my math is correct 50-18=32 and not 14! And messages I get for hookups are generally from women in their 50s who lived hard and look old enough to be my mother. Wish there was a way to filter those images out.
 fishin_4u
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 119
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:47:32 PM
[You can only contact people +/- 14 years of your age. There is no reason for a 50 year old man to contact a 18 year old women]
Um Last I checked my math, 50-18 = 32 years!
Using the excuse of a 18 to 50 yr. old age difference is an extreme and outrageous example to try to justify such a terrible policy change. Where in your lame explanation do you justify the rational of making your arbitrarily set perimeter range to only 14 years?
And furthermore, what about the already established correspondences that are effected? Just leaving your members in the dark is collateral damage is guess...
 Kylesan
Joined: 7/20/2012
Msg: 121
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:49:46 PM
Okay i get that this is a business and he can implement whatever he wants and blah blah blah but as a 27 year old man i don't really want to message 18 year old women even though they fall within my age range. I'm not against talking to someone who's say 45 though.
So now the site is saying I can message 18 year old girls because they fall into my 14 year limit but 42 is too old for me so i can no longer talk to anyone 42 or older. Absolutely ridiculous.

A better alternative would have been to make people set their own age limits upon joining, I'd much rather that than being told I can't be interested in someone because someone somewhere arbitrarily decided that 14 years older was okay but 15 years older was not.
 AwesomeKisser
Joined: 11/1/2010
Msg: 122
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Posted: 5/20/2013 12:50:00 PM
Well, I think this is not a great change. I have no interest in looking for older or younger women to date but I have had people outside the 14 year range contact me to discuss forum topics or whatnot. I was also having a very nice discussion with a 19 year old girl about her education and my career experiences etc. There was never any intent on either of our parts to pursue a relationship and we actually both made that clear up front but that doesn't mean you can't have a nice conversation. That was a nice added bonus part of POF which is now gone
 jblack2000
Joined: 8/22/2008
Msg: 124
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:05:44 PM
Intimate Encounters will go away in the next few months. There are 3.3 Million people who use the site every day, of those there are only 6,041 single women looking for Intimate Encounters. Of those 6,041 women, the ones with hot pictures are mostly men pretending to be women. Intimate Encounters on POF can be summed up as a bunch of horny men talking to a bunch of horny men pretending to be women.



HA!!! I knew it!!
 LieutenantCrunch
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 125
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Posted: 5/20/2013 1:10:06 PM
I'd have to say, this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, either. I thought users could already set contact restrictions (e.g. must be younger than 45, must not be married, etc.).

Also not sure where 14 years comes from. And it would be nice to know exactly what sets off the banhammer in a first email contact. I'm not in the habit of stampeding someone's nether regions in a first contact; but can you tell a woman you think she's 'sexy' ? Does that word trigger a filter?
 different3
Joined: 2/22/2013
Msg: 126
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:10:51 PM
Well.. I doubt that anyone who actually posts "I'm here to bang older women" will actually bother to read any of the other posts but I'll post anyways..First off that is the exact reason why these age restrictions were being set. It says that in the email if you even bothered to read it at all. So if you give that as a reason it only convinces marcus to think "yup I did a good thing." So you self proclaimed milf hunters please stop posting.. Or maybe marcus will just decide to delete your profile because he said you're the kind he doesn't want on here. So maybe continue posting and get deleted? I dunno..


Anyways I also don't agree with the 14 year old limit. Not because I want to message anyone 14 years older. But because I have known several people who seriously date people above a 14 year difference. One girl was an attractive female with a kid she had in high school. She was 21 seriously dating a 36year old. She really wanted a good father for her child, she had a kid in highschool, didn't go to college, and wasn't especially attractive..So I can't say she had much going for her besides her youth and possibly her personality, can't say it was good or not though. She decided to leverage her youth in order to find a good father for her child.

Case 2, Another young woman also 21 was seriously interested in a 40 year old. This 40 year old looked and acted more like he was early 30's. He made a lot of bad decisions in his youth that deals with drugs and not finding a path in life. He went back to college to change his life around. The guy is a major flirt, though he treats women the way they want to be treated, like a lady. They like that and he doesn't hide his age, everyone thought this guy and girl were dating when they saw them interact. Though personally I am unsure of what their relationship was.


Case 3, I've recently met a woman who for some reason is only interested into older men, she is also 21 years old, very attractive. I can't say she sleeps around with older men, but for some reasons she is only interested in older men. Not for money but perhaps there are some daddy issues there..

Case 4, Old memory from high school actually. I went over to a female friend's house for study group and dinner.. and their father was actually 14 years younger than their mother. I forgot how exactly the conversation came up but it left me very surprised..

Personally I believe this is just a coincidence that most of these women are 21 years old..But there are many different reasons why people date at extreme ages. One of the most popular ones is "this person doesn't look/act his age but I fell in love with them, and now I know their age I don't care anymore because I still love them"

If you really want to get rid of the ones looking for pure sexual enjoyment, I suggest making a second part of your site explicitly for that. Then hopefully most of them will go over to that section.
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 127
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:23:22 PM
^^^^ I agree. Then they'll talk for awhile and confess their real age.
I know one person said about a Cougar website - I am not looking to date way younger men, and usually chat with men closer to my age, however.. I have also been interested in a few younger than 14 yr gap - they are more mature and I of course an immature! I hope it changes back, I don;t think this will increase any relationship stats.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 128
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Posted: 5/20/2013 1:33:18 PM
I have mixed feelings about this.

I do get a lot of messages from much older men who are looking for a prostitute; or just want to bish at me for not answering them the first time by attacking something in my profile. At the beginning it got to the point where I considered closing my account altogether. It's nice that that will be going away.

However, as a forum user I really liked having off-forum conversations with people. Just the other night I got a message from another forumite warning me that someone had posted my picture and profile on a site dedicated to complaining about people here. None of what was said was true, and if it had happened a few days later I never would have known and been able to take steps to fix it.

There has to be a way around a full ban like this. An opt-in for party hosts, forum buddies, people looking for older exclusively. It might be a lot of work but allowing more user control as to who contacts them would be better.

(Also, hahaha at all those horny old men outraged because they can't troll young hotties anymore. I'm sure you all think you're the non-gross exception to the rule, but in most cases you're really, really not)
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