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 Hapworth
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 129
Message RestrictionsPage 5 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
I agree with the changes in spirit (notice that this thread is filled with mostly men complaining), but I also agree with Cowboy who said that this change has been rushed and poorly implemented. M's message says that the age restrictions only apply to those trying to contact women under 35, but we've already heard anecdotal evidence about older folks unable to message someone because, gosh darn, a 58-year-old shouldn't be contacting a piece of jail bait like a 43-year-old.

Filters are already in place, which seems to me to work fine, but I don't mind the -14 rule if it allows message restrictions to be lifted upon first contact (from the younger user, that is). If it is true that a 58-year-old cannot contact a 43-year-old, well, clearly there's a problem with that.

Full disclosure: I am a 41-year-old man who dates in his age range. The -14 rule would mean that I could reach out to a 27-year-old woman, which I am not interested in. If I were, this seems plenty young enough!
 c_rbrister
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 131
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:41:20 PM
I have been thinking about deleting my account recently, but because of the recent changes pof has made (mostly the age thing), I am definitely going to now. I have met a lot of interesting people on this site, but have not been keeping up with it lately because I've grown comfortable with where I am at the moment. I have also started back to school recently, so I want to focus more on that for now. I wish everyone luck and hope that these changes don't affect you to much with your searches. Bye bye.
 lil_pup1415
Joined: 3/24/2013
Msg: 133
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:44:26 PM
I love how we are all still just ignoring the fact that this blatantly violates our freedom of speech and the fact that it discriminates based on age. Both of which are actually illegal.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 134
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Posted: 5/20/2013 1:47:20 PM
Well, I guess the onslaught of emails to CSR finally got to the point where admin had to bring the user base out of the dark -- that's pretty rare! And we are obviously all just talking among ourselves at this point -- Markus has no interest in listening to reason like the universally agreed upon alternative suggestion in this thread. ("Come... let us reason together.")

But I would like SOMEBODY here to explain the logic behind telling a 50-year-old person and a 65-year-old person they shouldn't be able to communicate on this site.

Maybe there is some societal justification for protecting SOME 18-20-year-olds against their own immature judgment or, even more so, from a BADLY PROGRAMMED APP (built by THIS site -- which, as he alluded to in his email is the whole reason the site even has this "big problem" to begin with!) that prevents them from protecting themselves, but do fully mature women really need this sort of patronizing "protection"? His original action (per his original post) made SLIGHTLY more sense as it left 35+'ers out of the restrictions, but then to just suddenly all out limit EVERY *man* from being able to email anybody +- 14 years his age, regardless of who started the communication and what the woman's personally set email restrictions are... well, we are all just repeating ourselves now.

I also noted like others that my "Matches" and various other searches besides Basic/Advanced still include women above and below the +-14 range and therefore can't be contacted, but I'm sure that will be fixed soon enough (or not, because it doesn't matter if they fix it anyway -- just means me doing more clicking when I attempt to email a woman I can't email and the site gets more ad revenue from it; the worst thing about these restrictions is that you aren't warned before you send the email, even if you click "Message XXX" instead of the Quick Message -- so now we all have to do MATH every time before we start writing an email... as a professional statitician, don't I do enough math every day?).

"notice that this thread is filled with mostly men complaining"

Also, as these mailing restrictions are only being placed on men, can anyone verify that women of any age can email women of any age without issue? I'm betting that is the case, which is the reason why we haven't heard more anger out of female forum regulars, as their email relationships with one another aren't being affected at all (right?). But the forum men (and one male moderator) are largely SOL.

Which again, like so many others in this thread, I don't have much skin in this game as I'm not really a "forum regular" and rarely communicate with any of them via email and rarely ever have any contact with anyone +-14 years... but it's the principle of the thing more than anything else. It just annoys me to see problems handled in such foolish and controversial ways when there are much better, publicly vetted fixes.
 HelloVelo
Joined: 4/19/2013
Msg: 135
New Age Restrictions Set By Admin: Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:48:05 PM
It would be better to have the 14 year thing as an automatic messaging restriction, which can be waved off in the options. There are many of us here just for friends or to chat with people from overseas, as people are expected to be contacted by strangers.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 136
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:48:54 PM

I love how we are all still just ignoring the fact that this blatantly violates our freedom of speech and the fact that it discriminates based on age. Both of which are actually illegal.


You really need an education. Your freedom of speech only applies to the government and not to privately owned property.... which POF is . You are not guaranteed an audience for any of the tripe that comes out of your mouth, let alone to the point where it's illegal. Don't believe me? Come into my house and try to tell me I have to stand there and listen to you.

Nobody is discriminating against you for being your age. You're being limited in your searches on a web site ffs. Don't people even learn about civics in junior high anymore?
 Luckyone1031
Joined: 2/17/2013
Msg: 137
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:50:27 PM
The restriction has now been put on us ladies now. Just tried to message a guy I have been talking to and it would not go thru. So is not just a sexist issue now.
 lil_pup1415
Joined: 3/24/2013
Msg: 138
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:53:50 PM
Really if it isn't discrimination why is he back tracking and adding restrictions on women now to? To cover his ass that is why.
 lil_pup1415
Joined: 3/24/2013
Msg: 139
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:55:30 PM
Btw it is against the law for any business government owned or other wise to discriminate and say two people can't talk based on age as long as both people are consenting adults.
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 140
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 1:58:59 PM

Really if it isn't discrimination why is he back tracking and adding restrictions on women now to? To cover his ass that is why.


I don't know, I'm not Markus. You'll have to ask him. Although perhaps it's because women generally don't scout out men their child's age for sex and he didn't think it was necessary at first.

BTW, discrimination isn't "not letting me do whatever I want". It's discrimination when it applies to a certain set of protected factors. You're not being discriminated against because you're male, you're being limited because you're a male looking for either very much younger or older women to have sex with.



Btw it is against the law for any business government owned or other wise to discriminate and say two people can't talk based on age as long as both people are consenting adults.


Nobody's saying you can't talk, you just can't message them on a privately owned website. It's not "against the law" to prevent you from speaking to whomever you like just because you don't like it. Next thing you'll be telling me it's against the law for strip clubs to ban lap dances because it discriminates against a man's "right" to a little rub.


Actually age is protected by law which is what is being discriminated against at this point. Your idiocy is showing by the way not every man or woman who this change has affected was looking just for sex that was a biased assumption Markus came to and at first only applied to men. Upon realizing it was sexual discrimination also completely illegal (government owned or private business) he went back and covered his ass.


You don't know why Markus does anything as you are not Markus. Secondly, your education on rights, discrimination and the legality of such things is sadly lacking.

 lil_pup1415
Joined: 3/24/2013
Msg: 141
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:05:04 PM
Actually age is protected by law which is what is being discriminated against at this point. Your idiocy is showing by the way not every man or woman who this change has affected was looking just for sex that was a biased assumption Markus came to and at first only applied to men. Upon realizing it was sexual discrimination also completely illegal (government owned or private business) he went back and covered his ass.
 Hapworth
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 142
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:10:17 PM

Actually age is protected by law which is what is being discriminated against at this point. Your idiocy is showing by the way not every man or woman who this change has affected was looking just for sex that was a biased assumption Markus came to and at first only applied to men. Upon realizing it was sexual discrimination also completely illegal (government owned or private business) he went back and covered his ass.


Lil' pup, I'd give it a rest. POF is a privately-owned business and can set up whatever rules it wishes. As proof that what POF is doing is not illegal, think about this: no lawyer would take on your lawsuit against POF for censorship and discrimination because no laws have been broken.

You are practicing your free speech right now, as am I, and let's hope that our criticism of this new policy (which I have no problem with, but I do not like it because it is not well-implemented) makes a difference. Let's stay on topic, folks.
 lil_pup1415
Joined: 3/24/2013
Msg: 143
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:11:00 PM
The fact that it is a privately owned business does not change the fact that at this point every single man on here has been discriminated against based on sex. He has went back and covered his ass now but the fact remains it did happen and it was very illegal. Age is protected by law your not allowed as a business (again government or privately owned) to discriminate based on age alone which is exactly what is happening here. As for it not being a violation of the freedom of speech it is a business and privately owned I agree all the same laws apply to this business as any other business. And if taking away a persons right to choose who they wish to SPEAK with isn't a violation of the freedom of SPEECH amendment I don't know what qualifies.
 mr taste
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 144
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Posted: 5/20/2013 2:13:54 PM
Apologies if this has already been mentioned, but there could be an unforeseen problem in these messaging restriction policies.

There are people who host party / get together nights to members within a local area... Men and women of all ages can usually join (sign up) and attend.

The hosts of these events often allow you to contact them to request details or ask questions about the event. This has now become impossible for people to message who are outside +/- 14 years of the hosts age. The host will also not be able to message them either. This has started causing chaos already (I have contact with a host so know about this first hand).

Will these restrictions be removed for those hosting events? How about at least allowing messages to be sent / received between people who have signed up to the event and the hosts of the event?

Anybody got any thoughts regarding this problem?
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 145
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:13:56 PM
now I can't msg or get msgs from my 2 GFs. :( well that sucks as we would talk about dates, etc.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 146
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Posted: 5/20/2013 2:16:06 PM
You can speak to whomever you wish, but POF doesn't have to provide the means.

I seem to recall that you were complaining that nobody was writing back to you, anyway, so I don't see how this concerns you at all.
 lil_pup1415
Joined: 3/24/2013
Msg: 147
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:16:39 PM
Think about this do you know how many privately owned restaurants there are out there? If one of them were to say to someone oh we can't hire you because your a man or we can't hire you because your this old...or told its patrons we are going to segregate you based on age and someone took it to court a lawyer would damned well take it in a heart beat. Because privately owned restaurant or not it is very much illegal to do any of the above. When it comes to civil rights laws and regulations being a privately owned business does not protect POF anymore than it would any other privately owned restaurant or business. The only way he could get away with this is if it were a non profit organization and not a business and even then it would be publicly seen as absolutely scandalous.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 148
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Posted: 5/20/2013 2:19:05 PM
Are you trying to get HIRED by POF? Seriously, dude ....
 xCoopsx
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 149
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Posted: 5/20/2013 2:20:12 PM

Are you trying to get HIRED by POF? Seriously, dude ....


I think (hope) he's trying to get deleted.
 Hapworth
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 150
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:20:19 PM
Lil pup, I always write with kindness, and with kindness I suggested that you let the matter drop. Lilli Marleen's post further above explains things much more succinctly than anyone else's (awesome explanation, by the way). Legal matters are not your friend, Lil Pup.
 Justincj83
Joined: 3/28/2013
Msg: 151
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:20:39 PM
I'd be happy with 14. I'm 29 and it won't let me search for anyone 21 and under.
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 152
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Posted: 5/20/2013 2:32:42 PM

POF is a privately-owned business and can set up whatever rules it wishes.


not just that....

any website on the internet that you join - ANY one of them - this one, Facebook, Google+, Instagram, Twitter - has a user Terms of Agreement.

in order to create your account, you MUST AGREE to abide by the Terms of Agreement. if you don't check off that little box, your account will NOT be created.

i'd be willing to be that EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE of the Terms of Agreement for every site on the internet has a line stating that those terms are subject to change without notice! and they sure won't be polling all their members to see whether or not they like the changes. do you think Mark Zuckerberg asks the billions of Facebook account holders for their opinion on every change made to the site?????

for that reason alone, Hapworth is right, no lawyer would take on anyone trying to sue Big Fish for this. plus, don't forget that most of you are in the US and this site is hosted in Canada - owned by a Canadian; your laws don't apply here.

i do find it interesting that SO many men "of a certain age" appear to have "good friends" with whom they have been communicating for months who are female and much younger. if they are "such good friends" why have you not taken communication off this site???? there are still many places to get throw-away email accounts for when such "good" friendships go south....
 NDTfan
Joined: 6/5/2012
Msg: 154
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:37:23 PM

It also means Markus is essentially cutting off all males over 50 from any chance of ever becoming fathers from a relationship on this site - my dad was 56 when he had me.


Oh please. I'm sure Markus has seen the numbers of messages and relationships between men over 50 and woman under 35. They're probably infinitesimal, and of no consequence especially when measured against the number of female subscribers that quit as a result of being bombarded by older men.

How many women do you REALLY think are lining up to be baby factories for old men?
 Hapworth
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 155
Message Restrictions
Posted: 5/20/2013 2:39:37 PM

The reason males often like the younger girls is because obviously of the menopause in humans.


Oddest. Line. Ever.
 LieutenantCrunch
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 156
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Posted: 5/20/2013 2:45:09 PM

Let's stay on topic, folks.


Agreed.

If there's one thing that jumps out from these posts, it's that the membership here (forum users anyway) are generally not thrilled with this change in age restrictions in particular. As far as it being a gender issue, I think (although I don't know this) that like many dating sites there are scads more male POFers than women anyway. That it seems to be negatively affecting more men is no surprise. But there are women on POF that will be negatively affected as well.

I don't care about IE being gone at all. That most of them are dudes anyway?? Yikes.

I really would like to know some specifics about the first message filters that might be in place that could trigger the 'this is about sex' alarm.


(Also, hahaha at all those horny old men outraged because they can't troll young hotties anymore. I'm sure you all think you're the non-gross exception to the rule, but in most cases you're really, really not)


Have I emailed a 33 year old woman lately? Honestly, I don't know. But I don't think so. I don't feel gross anyway. :-)

Alas, I do not have enough money to be a sugar daddy...

Not yet. :-)
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