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 TheLiberator
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 37
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FleshlightsPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Been thinking of getting one since I am single again. I know that there is a stigma attached to male sex toys, whereas a woman owning a vibrator is considered more empowering and a sign of her independence. I don't give a rat's ass what society, my peers, or the cute pierced/tattooed woman behind the counter thinks, I have a job to do and I aim to do that job well. I have bought many sexual aids to spice things up for my special someone in the past, I think it's about time to invest in the happiness and health of the person I love most.

Maybe if I explain my intent and purpose to the cute pierced/tattooed woman behind the counter, I can charm her number onto my contact list. :D
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 38
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Fleshlights
Posted: 6/11/2013 7:40:06 AM
Again, not relevant to the topic...


Exactly. It is easier for a woman to "pick up" someone.

Yes, and no.


My point was disagreeing with the article. Women have it much easier to pick up a guy, or to motion him to take the lead in the picking-up process. What happens after they garner the interest of a guy is up to them. It could be a ONS, it could be for a relationship (both a sexual process). Point is, going down that road is an easier one for women most definitely, compared to men. They're not scaring guys away merely when initiating conversation.

If you compare the purpose for a man to go to a bar/club to a woman, the reasons are different I think. It's been close to 20 years since I've set foot in a bar, so I could be wrong here.

As I recall, more men go for the express purpose of picking up someone. More women go for the express purpose to have a good time out with friends. When I was 19-20 the "girls" would go to dance, drink a little, have a night out. The guys were there to get laid and tried really hard for that (which, btw way guys.. doesn't work).

The previously mentioned "dare" ended up being a ONS because we never saw one another again. The only other one I can recall having was in my mid-20s. I'd gone to a club with some people I knew, and another friend of theirs was there. We hit it off and he came home with me. I don't recall either of us making a big effort for it to happen, it just kind of did.

The number of times I've purposefully attempted to hit on someone, or pick someone up, yes it's happened. That number is less than the fingers on one hand though.

However... within the context of an ongoing relationship, my attempts and effort to initiate sex with my partner (usually at their request) has resulted in a less than 10% effectiveness. That is more the purpose for the article I think.

I have a female acquaintance that is actively seeking a partner for sex. She's pretty blunt about what she's looking for. She's not been able to find anyone yet, and she's been looking for over a year now I think. Partly because quality is hard to find, and most people will seek quality over quantity.
 GJBrown
Joined: 9/12/2011
Msg: 39
Fleshlights
Posted: 6/11/2013 11:31:38 AM
^^^^
well she must be doing it wrong!! ha
Don't need fleshlights or things of that sort. My hand, porn, and my imagination are good enough. Oh and actual women too! But if your jacking off just isn't real enough for you and you have money to blow then go ahead and get 1 I guess. Take it out to Dinner and dancing then back home for sweet sweet loving! then wash it
 ellymyosotis
Joined: 3/29/2013
Msg: 40
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Fleshlights
Posted: 6/11/2013 2:18:04 PM
I really still do not know enough about this toy but it has been mentioned okay for a woman to have a vibrator. I enjoy mine but are equally happy for mt partner to enjoy that too.

Can a fleshlight not be enjoyed as a couple?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 41
Fleshlights
Posted: 6/14/2013 11:05:15 AM

Yes, and no.

Well in what way do you see it Yes, and which way do you see it No? I would say Yes and Yes. The only way a "no" could be (inaccurately) applied would be because women have never been expected to approach guys so even though it's a much EASIER endeavor for them, they usually have no "game" and are apprehensive about it in the first place. But that doesn't mean it's not easier.

For several years I had a good looking, head-turning friend who had a nice (quiet) personality but NO game. We'd shake our heads at him shooting himself in the foot and usually being too scared to approach when he wouldn't. He had it MUCH easier than the other friend who was sub-par looking, but he had less success. He explained how it was so hard -- for him -- but objectively speaking, it was much much easier for him compared to others.

As I recall, more men go for the express purpose of picking up someone. More women go for the express purpose to have a good time out with friends. When I was 19-20 the "girls" would go to dance, drink a little, have a night out. The guys were there to get laid and tried really hard for that

Such younger girls at the 18+up clubs are more frisky-and-willing than at regular bars. But yes, you're correct, most women are not out to get laid on the spot like guys are. If/when a particular one is -- since it's much more uncommon -- "what do I do? where do I start?" probably comes to mind. As that article points out, they're not geared to be like that even if underneath they want to, and fear of coming off bad, etc -- even when it's OTHER girls who help perpetuate that "bad" part of it.

But many single women, when out, have their eyes open to "get" a guy. He may push the envelope for hooking up that night moreso than a typical woman would, sure -- but in the end, it's about "getting" someone -- to whatever degree one's comfortable with in the moment.

In the end, it's EASIER for a woman to do it. To get sex right then and there, especially. As you pointed out, guys will go to the bars with a mentality to get laid. If a girl starts a convo with a guy at the bar and they chit-chat for a bit, and she ends up saying "Want to go back to my place after this? I have a few beers there," he's certainly less likely to say "No". In fact, many guys would say YES when she's an Average Jane, even when there's an above-average Jane he knows who's there that he was looking forward to mingle with.

To be in a relationship that one wants? Well, that's equally difficult once you get to the point of picking up/being picked up, and a different story. But just because it's "difficult" in the eyes of someone doesn't mean it's more difficult than others'. Some people just suck at it because their emotions get in the way.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 42
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Fleshlights
Posted: 6/15/2013 9:51:25 AM

well she must be doing it wrong!! Ha

Depends on what your definition of “wrong” is. She’s posting very clear ads: Sex partner wanted. She’s fairly plain in her language, isn’t asking for romance, but IS asking for respect. She’s a mouthy loud feminist, but can hold a polite conversation.

She is fairly single-minded in that brains need to line up with genitals. That’s probably where she’s failing to find someone she deems suitable.


Can a fleshlight not be enjoyed as a couple?

Yes. Much like an insertible or vibrator can be shared as a couple.


Well in what way do you see it Yes, and which way do you see it No? I would say Yes and Yes. The only way a "no" could be (inaccurately) applied would be because women have never been expected to approach guys so even though it's a much EASIER endeavor for them, they usually have no "game" and are apprehensive about it in the first place. But that doesn't mean it's not easier.

For several years I had a good looking, head-turning friend who had a nice (quiet) personality but NO game. We'd shake our heads at him shooting himself in the foot and usually being too scared to approach when he wouldn't. He had it MUCH easier than the other friend who was sub-par looking, but he had less success. He explained how it was so hard -- for him -- but objectively speaking, it was much much easier for him compared to others.

And I think I’ve discovered where your failing to understand me lies. If you are thinking in the terms of “a reasonably good looking” person doing the asking, that is where the disconnect is.


In the end, it's EASIER for a woman to do it. To get sex right then and there, especially. As you pointed out, guys will go to the bars with a mentality to get laid. If a girl starts a convo with a guy at the bar and they chit-chat for a bit, and she ends up saying "Want to go back to my place after this? I have a few beers there," he's certainly less likely to say "No". In fact, many guys would say YES when she's an Average Jane, even when there's an above-average Jane he knows who's there that he was looking forward to mingle with.

I’m short and fat. If I walked up to you in a bar and said I wanted to f*ck… what would you do? No other interaction at all up to that point of me asking, and you may or may not have been aware of me or made eye contact with me beforehand. Just that simple “let’s f*ck” would not be enough for you to do it. Most men would refuse. Know why? They are holding out for the best looking woman in the joint to fall at their feet and under their charm. Even if that better looking woman lacks the self-confidence to walk up to a man and ask for what they want. So I would be refused more often than I wouldn’t be.

And within the context of a relationship, it’s been my experience that while the man might want the woman to initiate sex more often, when it happens, they don’t know what to do about it, their masculinity is often challenged, and they refuse.

In THEORY is might be easier for women to get laid picking someone up at a club. Theoretically speaking, that is. The PRACTICAL is often times far different from the theoretical.

For the record, I need more than a pretty face to get my motor purring like it should. I’ve initiated more sex in and out of my relationships than most. I don’t lack the confidence to do it. I lack confident and secure men that will accept a woman being in control of the sexual portion of the relationship.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 44
Fleshlights
Posted: 6/15/2013 11:54:54 AM
And I think I’ve discovered where your failing to understand me lies. If you are thinking in the terms of “a reasonably good looking” person doing the asking, that is where the disconnect is.

I don't think it's that -- it's the pickiness that gets someone. If they're not reasonably good looking but have the "standards" (tastes) of someone who is, yes it will be tougher. However, again, we're comparing guys vs girls -- not pretty girl vs average jane vs sub-par barb. And also -- objectively the degree of difficulty -- not what one themselves have (emotional) difficulty with.

I’m short and fat. If I walked up to you in a bar and said I wanted to f*ck… what would you do? No other interaction at all up to that point of me asking, and you may or may not have been aware of me or made eye contact with me beforehand. Just that simple “let’s f*ck” would not be enough for you to do it.

I'd be a male slut if I were to say I'd say yes, and rude if I'd say hell no, etc. So let's take what you said and direct it to what we're talking about. If I were to take you, and a guy who's how you describe yourself ("short & fat") at roughly the same looks scale... and bring you to a popular bar I know... and at 11:00PM, "Ready, Set, Go!" to both of you to engage with the opposite sex and say "Hi, how are you... I'd like to f*ck."

And for fun, we did this "best of 7". I would put down $1,000 for each time. You'd sweep him 4 games to 0, most likely. It wouldn't be a contest. It would be like a major league team playing a college team. He COULD have an upset (with a black eye), and it'd be applauded for his courage -- but you'd dominate.

Most men would refuse. Know why? They are holding out for the best looking woman in the joint to fall at their feet and under their charm.

No, they wouldn't. Many men would refuse, sure. But many would accept. Out of all of the guys in a location, they all aren't trying to ONLY get the best looking woman, no -- not at all. A good looking woman compared to what their feasible level of a "catch" they could get? Yes. So is a woman, when it comes to truly "meeting someone." However, when it comes to just hooking up with a few drinks? Standards drop. Especially for guys. If you come right out and say you'd like to f*ck to a guy a little bit out of your league, he doesn't have to deal with "Hmmm, I could maybe get laid but I don't want to put all that work into it..." -- it's right there. You'd get shot down, sure. But you'd get your fair share of guys being more-than-happy obliging. While the guy-who-looks-like-you would dream to be only shot down by 3 out of 5 girls when saying "Hi, I'd like to f*ck tonight."
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 46
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Fleshlights
Posted: 6/15/2013 11:02:57 PM
a man's penis has to be 100% erect before he can use the Fleshlight
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 49
Fleshlights
Posted: 6/18/2013 8:45:20 PM

It also depends on the guy...
You walk up to a certain one of my friends... to him "short and fat" makes you about the best looking woman in the joint... He's always had a thing for larger women...

Very true. Also who she's going after, too. But if you pit a guy who's in her 'league' of looks and is pursuing people of the same 'league' of looks as she is -- she'll clean house on him. She's not some ugly woman in the corner of the bar by any means.

And also, especially in a bar, looks isn't everything when it comes to guys. Willingness to have sex is a big factor in many bars. Willingness X Looks is pretty much the main factor.
 lovablelatin1
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 54
Fleshlights
Posted: 6/25/2013 7:38:24 PM
Many years ago i worked at an adult book store called the pleasure emporium in south beach and with my discount i often bought sex toys and more to sample them and have a better understanding of sex toys and better help to couples women and men visiting the store. Fleshlights are very nice toys, a sweet wet tight **** is even better but i say enjoy
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 56
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Fleshlights
Posted: 6/28/2013 12:00:53 PM
I use the Fleshlight with the Speed Bump Masturbation Sleeve.
 ImpassionedAdventure
Joined: 9/22/2012
Msg: 58
Fleshlights
Posted: 6/29/2013 8:01:15 PM

I was actually joking about used sex toys, but did catch a room mate loading the dishwasher with dildos once.

At least he practices clean sex
 Theme_Pack
Joined: 5/3/2013
Msg: 60
Fleshlights
Posted: 7/3/2013 9:50:23 AM
Mine doesn't light up my friend told me his lights up when he does it right....I'm such a loser!
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 62
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Fleshlights
Posted: 8/1/2014 12:14:14 PM
I orded a Fleshlight Girl Stoya Destroya because no woman will have me!
 billingsmason
Joined: 2/3/2012
Msg: 64
Fleshlights
Posted: 8/2/2014 5:00:18 PM
Sig.... give some of the suggestions a try. (On how to become more desirable. Not which fuvklight to buy...)

From seeing you post,
I bet you could follow instructions.

If even that does not work....... ask for help. From a pro.
As in a therapist. No shame in self improvement. Just have to motorvate and take the wooden helm -so to speak.
There are kind folks. Male and female, that will actually walk you through it. Once I become an adult.... I pretty much put shame in the fire. Too drippy to carry.
It will course through your gaps like trying to hold water in your hands. Give that noise up and get totally on with your life.

Feel free to write for a free one time how to guide on this. I bet you could do it.



Edit to add: the less well "hung" are just more clever. In general, smaller tittied women are more clever too....
 wooweewoo13
Joined: 7/7/2013
Msg: 65
Fleshlights
Posted: 8/11/2014 4:59:08 AM
lol...U must have nothing better to do....as others have said its a self pleasuring tool as a vibrator....and a personal choice also.....soooo....whats the big deal....you dont like it?.....dont spend the bucks then...lol
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 66
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Fleshlights
Posted: 8/23/2014 10:10:45 PM
As someone who has several sex toys, I found that they are great fun and really take the edge off when you are very lonely. As for them taking the place of going out and meet people. I don't think that is much of an issue. Toys are just toys. If a person wanted to go out and meet people, they would still do it even if they did a dirty deed before.
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