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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?      Home login  
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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 25
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET!!!!


You do NOT talk about fight club.

Rule number two: YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHTCLUB.

Same thing.

Tattoo it over your forehead. Write it on a piece of tape and stick it above your monitor.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 26
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 8:11:09 AM
Last night when I was perhaps too tired I answered one of his very mushy emails. I said I didn't feel comfortable with sharing deep emotional thoughts with anyone I had not ever met. I didn't say I wouldn't like to meet him, I don't think I attacked him in any way. This morning he wrote back to say I sound much too negative and basically wished me good luck (and goodbye).

to beat the bloody fishing analogy to death.... you didn't reward him by swallowing the bait hook line & sinker that he was offering, so he cut you loose right away. lucky sailfish, sail away now.


I'm a little disappointed since he did sound very nice.

meh. nice people who are actually nice (instead of just sounding that way) don't try to flatter you into submission.


But does anyone thing I was right to be suspicious of him.

people who want to be mushy with you and you don't really know them are very manipulative. they're trying to take advantage of what they think is your emotional vulnerability. it's the adult version of offering candy to little girls.
 LoneScottishBoy
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 27
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 8:23:01 AM
OP...personally, I think you dodged a bullet.

He sounds like he was "pining" for a relationship.
 Deadliest_Snatch
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 28
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 8:24:07 AM
I would've asked for a d!ck pic and sent him the link to the gay porn website on which it was now posted.
 nubeginnings64
Joined: 4/8/2012
Msg: 29
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 8:44:25 AM
Not much of a dating experience if you let your suspicions get the best of you & you don't even meet. Mushy to me means recent break up & perhaps you dodged a bullet in that aspect, but you'll never know now. Guarded yes for safety sake & why we play the tit for tat online game but judging too fast makes for many lonely date nights.
 Hanoverfella
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 30
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 9:00:44 AM
NOTHING IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET!!!!

Unfortunately I had to learn this the hard way, she had no pictures, gave me an honest description( just in her opinion) of herself, I was so utterly disappointed and heartbroken after seeing/meeting her, but I learned my lesson on cutting down on the online chit chat and getting to the face to face meet the sooner the better, I wish I had seen Outminds advice before that, but now I'm wiser for it.
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 31
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 12:24:08 PM
Thanks everyone for your wonderful replies! A lot made me laugh. The thing is I am not usually a suspicious type. I was somewhat joking here about the 5 wives and being an ax murderer. My friends are often appalled by my lack of caution with strangers. No I don't let anyone pick me up, don't go alone to a private place but I am not generally distrusting of people.

One of you mentioned God. Yes, he had that all over the place! He mentioned he had one child but did not say what gender or age or if said child lived with him. His profile said stuff about marriage being forever so I don't know if he was a widower (profile said single), divorced or killed the wife Lol.

Someone mentioned him being "older". I'm old, he was 10 years younger but yeah still over 50. This didn't go on a long time. Probably only a week or less. I was actually the one to write to him first. Maybe he thought that meant I was in love with him.

In any case, I haven't written back and neither has he.

Firefly
 ouija2013
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 32
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 2:51:46 PM
SimpleCltMan - I always enjoy your posts and value your opinions.
Firefly , weird you never heard from him again - is he still on POF?
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 33
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 3:42:58 PM
This is the goodbye message. It was only yesterday. Amuses me when PhD's can't write long words such as "sound".

"Guess you doing good today?Any way it's nice to hear from you again..you sounds really negative and not so sure you truly knows what you looking for,you sounds too dwelling in the past and that's not what i want..No need to waste each other time..

Wishing you all the best of luck...

Stay Safe and blessed.."
 Midwest_Southwest
Joined: 9/9/2012
Msg: 34
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 3:43:01 PM

One of you mentioned God. Yes, he had that all over the place! He mentioned he had one child but did not say what gender or age or if said child lived with him. His profile said stuff about marriage being forever so I don't know if he was a widower (profile said single), divorced or killed the wife Lol.

Really did laugh out loud at that.
Yeah, you dodged a bullet. Even if I can’t figure out why, if I get the creepy feeling, I stop.
 midable
Joined: 5/19/2013
Msg: 35
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 6:07:01 PM
The is no reason to exchange email addresses on a dating site - there is a messaging system here which accomplishes the same thing. It's a scammer getting you primed to ask for money.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 36
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 6:37:49 PM

This is the goodbye message. It was only yesterday. Amuses me when PhD's can't write long words such as "sound".

"Guess you doing good today?Any way it's nice to hear from you again..you sounds really negative and not so sure you truly knows what you looking for,you sounds too dwelling in the past and that's not what i want..No need to waste each other time..

Wishing you all the best of luck...

Stay Safe and blessed.."


Firefly, the reason a "PhD" writes like that is that he is in no way a PhD. Most of the scammers are from overseas and English is not their first language, so they tend to write in a similar style. Some of them pretend that they are near where you live but if you start to ask them questions about specific places and events - like, did they go to the XYZ festival last week and what did they like the best, or have they tried that new Chez Whatever bistro that everyone's talking about - they don't know what to say and will deflect the questions, because they are full of sh!t. I've found that asking those types of questions will quite effectively "out" the scammers from the merely mushy guys. I like to play along with the scammers for a little while until I know I can bust them cold. It's amazing how fast those profiles go "poof"!
 jlynn1955
Joined: 8/24/2012
Msg: 37
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 6:44:27 PM
I've gotten messages from some who were like that. Some I immediately knew were not on the level. Some I played along with for a little while just to see what the scam was.

More recently, I did actually meet one who was like that. He seemed to have very low self esteem and I was giving him the benefit of a doubt. But, it just got worse. Reached a point where he told me he had a relative with the same given name as mine--and he wondered what it would be like to have 2 women in the family with the same first name (and no I did NOT misconstrue what he was "saying"). There was some other things that were along the same line. Way too mushy and intense when we'd only met once. I don't think he was pulling a scam, but whatever the deal was, I didn't want to be involved.

Outmind--like the new pic!
Simpleclt man always has the best answers. Different kinds of mushy, though. If I have not even met you and you are going on and on about how beautiful I am and how much you adore me, etc etc. even though we have not met...blech....
 John255317
Joined: 12/28/2012
Msg: 38
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/10/2013 6:44:32 PM
OP, good thing you didn't meet this guy because you sound like you sensed something and also, this guy blew you off pretty quick which also says a lot. Did he ask you why you asked or felt how you did? Did you two talk on the phone? Mushy emails are a red flag for sure and you expressed that in however you worded it to him. And in reply, this guy ran away, which was good for you.
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 39
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/11/2013 5:51:25 AM
We never talked on the phone. Once when YIMing he gave me an address he said is his. The only conflict was it's in a very nearby city, and he claimed to live in the County. Now that you mention it, he did ask if I'm financially secure or some such thing and said he was too. This only went on for about 4 days. In every email he called me beautiful. Uh, I 'm 64 and have mirrors. I'm always turned off when someone who hasn't met me says that.

BTW, it wasn't on POF, it was on the other free site that gets blocked if I type the name but that's "okay".

Firefly
 midable
Joined: 5/19/2013
Msg: 40
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/11/2013 8:32:28 AM
Yes, the poor grammar is the hallmark of a boiler-room scammer.

Talking only to people in your local area will weed 99% of them out. Don't waist your time with those people... dating is hard enough as it is. Also, I would suggest focusing on POF - they seem to do the best job of keeping the scammers away. There are more people here anyway, no need for another dating site.
 63T
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 41
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/11/2013 8:46:40 AM

"Guess you doing good today?Any way it's nice to hear from you again..you sounds really negative and not so sure you truly knows what you looking for,you sounds too dwelling in the past and that's not what i want..No need to waste each other time..

Wishing you all the best of luck...

Stay Safe and blessed.."

I'm not sure how this can be perceived as "too good to be true"?! Especially if this was the typical style of communication from the beginning. PhD? Far from it.
Cease and desist all communication and report the profile to the site owner for deletion (scam/misrepresentation).
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 42
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/11/2013 11:33:30 AM
63T, no he wrote much better than that in his profile and initial messages. That was only the break up message. I really was only under the feeling he was pushy with his emotions, I didn't get a scammer vibe. But in any case, I haven't had any more communication with him.

Firefly
PS. I want to touch your hair
 peaceful_garden
Joined: 4/10/2013
Msg: 43
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/11/2013 11:48:15 AM
forgive my ignorance, but I have seen scamming mentioned many times in this thread. I only know the term online to be used with sales, generally, private party sales. How are people finding themselves scammed on a free dating site? Is the term being used to call someone a scammer who misrepresents themselves and then they meet up and feel scammed? or flirting with people to go on dates and not pay for dinner?

I'm having trouble understanding where the scam is.


Lucky you if you've never rec'd a Nigerian scam email, my business has rec'd them regularly although I must say the spam filters are getting better and better. Not many get thru anymore. For a good laugh and an eye opener check out website 419eater. 419 is the penal code # in Nigeria for international scams. Some of the more sophisticated scams are coming from Russia.
 63T
Joined: 5/28/2006
Msg: 44
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/11/2013 1:22:57 PM
RaceFanAWD;

I'm having trouble understanding where the scam is.

Browse Google search and type "online dating website scams"
You will receive quite an education.
I have encountered a few myself over the years. The positive aspect to it is that they are relatively easy to spot (at least for me) and interpret.
The Op has had such an encounter of misrepresentation at the very least. Either/or are reasons to cease communication.
In the Op's case, other valid reasons to discontinue communication were aslo apparent, regardless.
 LathaMath
Joined: 1/2/2013
Msg: 45
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/14/2013 8:23:42 PM
OP, sounds like he wasn't your type. No use trying to figure him out or speculate about his motives. He' s in a another world. Don't think it's a matter of sounding too good to be true. I'd meet someone who sounded too good to be true, just out of curiosity, but not with any high hopes. Since I'm not particularly religious and not curious about people who are, I'd not consider it a "too good to be true" attribute in somone's character or compatibility. As for "mushy" that's a bit of an overly emotional red flag in my opinion, what people call "drama" here in the forums.
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 12/9/2012
Msg: 46
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/15/2013 7:56:53 AM
FapMonster,

It sounds like you're the problem really, he needs a less suspicious women who can share her feelings more openly.

So you want to blame the OP because they guy who contacted her was probably a fake?


It's the women you can't trust anyway that scam poor lonely guys on dating sites. If she looks too good and gives you her number and it sounds to good to be true then it is, so men be wary!

I see...you think it's OK for men to be wary of female profiles who may be scammers, but a woman should believe whatever a guy tells her or else it's her problem and she's just suspicious, closed-up and cold.

Interesting.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 47
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/15/2013 8:48:26 AM
OP, I find it unattractive (in both men and women) when someone is too emotional too soon, or discloses personal information before we know each other somewhat.

To me, these practices suggest that the recipient is not particularly special--that is, these are the type of people who will disclose to just about anyone b/c they are desperate and don't care who knows their business. I'm not at all hung up on being "private" about things, but at some point, you really should have filters. Get to know someone. Learn a bit about them. Have fun in the process. Let closeness develop in due time, and do not try to force it by sharing information too soon.

"Mushy" guys are usually either trying to tell you what they think you want to hear, or are just too intent on a "relationship" and don't care much about the other person involved. In my personal experience, this has been true 100% of the time--but I will concede the possibility that there could be exceptions. I just have not met any. :)
 firefly416
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 48
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If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/17/2013 7:30:42 PM
Well all of a sudden he popped up tonight on my YIM. He said hi, I said hi. Then after a couple boring exchanges he asked if I wanted to buy gold bars!!!! So even though I didn't really think he was scamming I think you were all right that he was getting around to it. He did mention he got off that website to "work on another project". I didn't ask what project. After a few minutes he disappeared again. I thought it was funny.

Firefly
 summerdelight85
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 49
If they sound too good to be true, do you still meet them?
Posted: 6/19/2013 12:40:37 AM
Real men are not mushy. Fact! Real men are amazing but not mushy, they are strait to the point and very short in their sentence. Men aren't emotional and stick with facts so if mushy, 99% of the time are scammer.
Yep! Too good to be true, it usually is. Scammer, married men, so forth. Save yourself and move on. Real men are not mushy in their message.
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