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 dingbat77
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 25
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Disability and DatingPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Indeed quite a lot of people are rejected for being overweight or too short or for not being in the right income bracket , so one has to be realistic about the chances of matching if you have an obvious disability
 TheLiberator
Joined: 1/22/2012
Msg: 26
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/1/2013 4:33:20 AM
Hey OP, don't feel bad. I have dated a few people myself and had nothing special develop with anyone. Then I met someone who I was first unsure about, then we get to know each other more, and before I knew it BAM! Lightning struck.

I am currently dating again, hoping that lightning strikes twice. When it happens, it happens. It can't be forced. I believe you have as good of a chance at finding it as anyone else here, chemistry is probably the most powerful, irresistible phenomena in this world.
 Nastiasiwannabe
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 27
Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/3/2013 6:17:35 PM
I really disagree with putting it in your post. That puts it out there for the whole world to see. It should be a choice who you share it with...I'm going to make my own post on here so maybe you will understand where I am coming from then. Also when I say for the whole world to see, I do mean the whole world. You can google my user name and my entire POF profile is right there...no login or registering required.
 dingbat77
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 28
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/4/2013 2:45:22 AM
That's assuming everyone knows what your username is or you use the same username on every forum or like your good self have used the same username as your FB profile, most don't.

My friends/colleagues/family have no idea what my numerous forum usernames are ( I have trouble myself remembering them and the different email addresses) and if people are that interested to read my dating profile/posts by tying to find them , then happy hunting.

There are several people who use the same username as me , again if someone want's to go through them all and see if it is me, they have more time than sense.

So unless you have a job in the CIA, are on the US most wanted list or are married I wouldn't worry, no one cares what people post on here and most have better things to do than trawling the net to find you and read your posts !!!
 Luthion
Joined: 12/1/2008
Msg: 29
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/4/2013 5:31:13 AM
@LadyC, Much appreciation for your post. It's encouraging to believe that there will be people who won't treat my disability as an automatic limitation. I know as a person that it is the sort of thing I would accept in others were there a connection there.

@dingbat, Thank you for your perspective as someone whose seems to have been through similar circumstances. It helps to know what kind of situations I may have to deal with in the future.


"I really disagree with putting it in your post. That puts it out there for the whole world to see."

I understand where you're coming from with this, but unfortunately, its very the kind or disability that is basically "out there for the whole world to see". I'm almost completely reliant ton a cane for balance and support at all time, sometimes to a chair on the worst on days, and I have fairly noticeable difficulty walking anything more than a few feet.

It's pretty the first thing anyone notices about me, just above my devishly good looks. (LOL)

I'm not admitting that for pity. I just figure its relevant to point out that its very much a visible disability, so keeping it to myself isn't really an option.
 dingbat77
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 30
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/4/2013 6:43:25 AM
Thankfully I am not that seriously disabled , but wonder if there are any social activity centers that may cater for your disabilities where you may meet other people in the same situation , there are also some dating sites for people with disabilities , I am not for one minute suggesting that you may not find someone able bodied who can see past the physical , but it may increase your chances.

I think Nastiasiwannabe may mean that posting your feelings about your disability and any negative feelings you may have (which people could find on the web) may deter those that might want to date you.

Good luck
 eklektika
Joined: 8/14/2012
Msg: 31
Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/4/2013 1:46:34 PM
I think attitude has a lot to do with it. If you are down and have self pity no one wants to be with you. If you are positive and make the most out of life despite your hurdles people are attracted to that.

If you want a positive example of how to include it in your profile, take a look at mine. I've had my jaw replaced which was causing me pain but has given me other issues.

The fortunate thing about having health issues it automatically weeds out the superficial and selfish jerks.
 jspringer2560
Joined: 2/14/2012
Msg: 32
Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/9/2013 10:23:46 PM



As regard to disability dating. It does not matter where you are from. When you send messages out. People won't reply back. People are just too fussy and is their choice. I always get you aren't my type, we won't be compatible. If people won't meet you in person we will never know. However the point is that no one even wants to meet up as friends they all have this judgement already. Why does people have this perception if we meet will definite date. It depends how people get on face to face. No one should use those words you aren't my type or compatible that is a cop out.
 dingbat77
Joined: 11/20/2011
Msg: 33
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 7/10/2013 11:13:21 AM
I hear what you are saying but most who use dating sites are looking to meet someone to date and not find friends, those that are looking for friends usually don't want to meet you and just want to be your friend in cyberspace.

I appreciate people have come on here with messages of hope but the reality is that "most" able bodied women don't want to date someone with a serious disability , they want the whole package , even if you are overweight or short you get canned. The "you are not my type" is just a way of letting you down lightly.

If you want friends as I have said you are better off finding a social club or start doing stuff that gets you out mixing with people that way you can use your personality and maybe find someone to date.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 34
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2018 7:35:58 AM

Is it wrong of me to put myself out there for dating / potential relationships? It *does* limit what I can give. I know I have a good heart and a lot of genuine qualities to give someone, and nobody wants to be lonely... but I just don't know if it is fair of me to expect someone to deal with it.


Nobody has to deal with it. They will want to be with you because they enjoy your company.

Your medical issues aren't baggage like one has with past marriages and relationships. You're too young for this. I have mixed feelings putting this out there on a profile is in your best interests, since you would have to explain away your illness. I don't think you're going to reach out to somebody who is seeking a running partner. Then, again, with a good set of wheels to make that run, it'd be a great match! ;-)

If you collect disability or receive services for those disabilities, a visiting nurse or home-health aid are usually employed to cover most of your needs on most days, especially during flare-ups, so I don't see how much "baggage" could come from this. And if you're on disability and have your own place in disability housing, it makes you more stable and far more appealing than aimless couch Romeos surfing from one home to another.

I'm unsure where you are now and I hope you're ok.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 35
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2018 8:38:00 AM
OP's profile says "I am currently taken, but happy to make new friends" so the story has a happy ending.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 36
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Disability and Dating
Posted: 5/30/2018 3:59:31 PM
I read your profile, your profile is upbeat.
Seems like you are seeing someone. What are her thoughts on your disability?
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